How to get over breaking up with a girlfriend that was your best friend?

[Anonymous]

How to get over breaking up with a girlfriend that was your best friend.

Its been a year since we broke up,
I still get this really bad mood swings, bad temper and hate feelings. I dont like being alone and I dont like losing all what I had. I need to get over this person without losing myself in the process.
I dont like the person I am now because of a breakup.

Note:
- 5 years bestfriend /1 year girlfriend
- We broke up on good terms
- I wish her the best. I dont hate her
- We dont blame eachother for anything
- she got over me and has a new boyfriend
- My other best friend is her best friend too

[Am_and_Pm]

Well... I'm bad in relationships, but if I learned anything it is this: (saw this in a movie) "you never really get over someone until u meet someone better."

Maybe go try. And, who knows. U might just end up with someone better and the girl will be doing the nagging to her friends how badly she wants u.

Workout a bit, run, pick up were u left off before u met her. The day isn't over. And when it is, a new day begins.

Stop being a bitch and get back up. Only u can decide when enough is enough.

Good lucky💘🤤😁

[Asker]

That's a good way of seeing things. What movie was that? Maybe i watch it and get inspired too

[Anonymous]

The first thing you have to realize is the situation you find yourself in is 100% your fault. And that's a good thing because it means you have the ability to change it.

You're falling apart over this because you didn't build a proper personality and a proper life. When you do that, one relationship ending isn't a huge deal--you have a robust network. So what do you need to do? Make sure you have meaningful activities in your life. Are you doing well in school / at work? Are you working out? Are you making friends? Are you improving skills? Are you pursuing passions? Are you getting back out and DATING? Are you attracting desirable girls? Are you having sex?

All of these things provide meaning in life and will equip you for dealing with this break up, moving on to the next relationship and making it more likely that that one will be better and last longer.

Good luck my man!

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear that dude, I'd say find a new hobby like working out, painting, or anything under the sun. You can also talk to a counselor about how you feel too, and how you've had a hard time getting over her. Who knows that could help. Then once you feel like you are completely over her you can start dating again. Not trying to tell you what to do, but if you aren't over here, don't find a rebound just because it'll mess with you and her. So I'd avoid doing that.

[Thedivinechic]

Maybe stop dating a best friend and find a girl you want to actually fall in love with. You were pressuring her to fill in both shoes. A girlfriend and a best friend.

[TremorJay]

The key to managing negative emotion is forming good habits, across multiple sections of your life. The baseline being those things you do daily, and without much choice. Eating and sleeping at regular times, eating proper food and portions.

I'd recommend taking advice from a clinical psychologist. You can find plenty of helpful information on YouTube.

[Asker]

Thats so helpful bro! Any other recommendations?

[TremorJay]

https://youtu.be/Q-geMoCsNAw

My answer comes from 59:24
I've been going to therapy about twice a month for a few years. Grasping what I can from moments of clarity.

But in short, I don't think you have a relationship problem. It's just a learning curve, and managing your negative emotion will help you recover faster now, and in the future.

[HawkPerception]

I'm going through the exact same thing man. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Only time can heal these kind of wounds. You'll find better. Keep your head up.

[EssenceOfLight]

Other mothers have pretty daughters too.
It's good possible you were just the backup guy, while she admired you friend all the time.

[Asker]

Yes plenty fish in the sea I am sure. I just want to stop these mood swings

[TheSpaceGnome]

You don't get over it until A you realize they were bad for you, or B you find a new best friend to fall in love with.

[colin77]

It's not easy... but being honest with yourself... and telling her th truth will work... but also telling yourself th truth... true love always find a way

[Anonymous]

Don't date your best friend to begin with.
Otherwise, time. As always.

[Asker]

We never wanted to date eachother. It just happend.

[Opinion Owner]

Things don't "just happen".

[whatdoyouwantt]

Well you need to start dating again

[Asker]

Maybe I will start dating again. I dont know maybe I am a bit afraid to trust myself?

[MrBadd]

Find another woman, make more friends.

[Asker]

I am trying the new friends thing right now... Just need to be my best for those new people

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Do you still talk to her?

[Asker]

No, lost all contact with her. She is avoiding me. No talking or evening seeing each other

[Telekinetic-Potato]

So it sounds like you're hurting because your egos been hurt. So the only to get past this "without changing" is to heal your ego.

You can try to replace her, or you can try to think about what you were getting from her and try to get it from more then one person.

It takes a while to get over losses like that, years, and you kinda wear them forever a little but. You just gotta focus on the future, and what's happening right now. Get out there, meet people!

[hela1110]

U need to distract urself

[Asker]

Yeah I did i distracted myself for a whole year but still get those mood swings. Distracting myself works 70% of the time

[hela1110]

Meet up with someone else

[Asker]

Thats what I am trying to do now but I dont want to rush things, it would be fair to miss treat a new person just because I want to rush my wellbeing

[hela1110]

Girls who r not into serious relationship r so many

[Asker]

Haha its not about seriousness, its more about to be fair to the other person.

[Anonymous]

Move on and stay single for at least a year.

[Asker]

I did stay single for a year

[Opinion Owner]

Then hang out with BFF more often

[EmotionOfFear]

May I ask why you two broke up?

[Alpha4U]

What is happenning to men? smh

[Asker]

And?

[Anonymous]

Have been in that situation its tuff

[Asker]

How long it took you to stop feeling this way?

[Opinion Owner]

I still do have feelings for her

[Opinion Owner]

We broke up two years ago

[Opinion Owner]

We're still really good friends and I'm still not over it and it really hurt to see her move on so fast

[Asker]

Bro look at the bright side, in most cases the ex leaves you and never talks to you again. So you lose your best friend and the loved one at the same time.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah we're still best friends and do a lot of stuff together it's just hard knowing that she's having sex with other guys

[EmotionOfFear]

Same, took me three years. But I'm far over her, no longer have a single feeling left over her (likewise neither does she for me, so it's mutual. Not denial). And we're both perfectly happy in our current relationships with our amazing partners

[JamieLoves]

Start drinking and never stop..

[Asker]

Hahaha yes! Ruining myself more would be a good idea

[JamieLoves]

At least it won’t be painful