How do I get over this girl?

[Anonymous]

I've been in a relationship with a very toxic person for 12 years, 10 of those were marriage. she's not who I'm talking about. We divorced 2 years ago.

But do to the ex, I was probably not in my right mind when this happened.

So, I met a girl through some online friends, and we hit it off, and I lost my mind and fell hard. Well, I lost all my online friends simply because I had been fighting with this other friend, and I was justifiability mad at the friend for trivializing our friendship.

The reason this girl stopped talking to me is because I gave her my phone number and told her unwanted to delete the messaging app. I at that point was feeling pretty down about the fight with the other friend. Well, this girl took this as me trivializing our friendship. Everyone then blocked me at the same time.

That was over a month ago, and I'm still thinking about her. I'm depressed all the time and I can't shake this.

How do I get over her, and the whole situation? I am trying to move on but a lot of these people were really important to me.

The girl I liked in particle, I can't stop thinking about and it only makes the depression worse.

Updates

6 mo

Thank you for those of you who have been supportive. It's been a big help so far. If your reaction is "get real relationships" you don't understand the question. These were real relationships. I know these peoples spouses and children's names. These were some randos in the YouTube comment section, we spoke every day, played videogames together, shared hobbies, and stresses, etc. Stop telling me online relationships aren't real.

Updates

6 mo

Weren't*

[Longshanks1968]

I had a girl, let's call her Crystal since that's her name, we met in 1990 and fell completely in love in our early 20s and spent 6 years hurting each other back and forth, cuz no one fucking taught us how to have a relationship and we both had failed several times before this with others.
So yeah we finally actually broke up in 1996 and the next 15 years, we called each other 3 times a year, each birthday and Christmas, to say hi and check all okay with each other's families, lol it was an absurd 6 years.
Many times we would apologize to each other for all the past hurt we caused each other, reminding each other how much we think of and love each other but every year I'm with someone, and then she's with someone, and then I'm married with a child, and then she's married and then I'm divorced and in 2012, her call came and she's moving out and getting divorced, wow crazy my lease is up, and bam we had an overly expensive apt but I was truly happy for the first time in my life, the closest other times was with her in the 90s.
We both had excellent career jobs, she worked nights, I worked days, and everything ran seamlessly till Christmas day 2014 when out of nowhere she wanted to break up, now I'm devastated, it had been up to this point the best Christmas I ever had, with her, my dad, my daughter, everyone got along, it was beautiful, till later when we got home, ok I'm a man, we moved in together too fast,, apparently, I love this woman more than I love my own life, I'll give her space to the fucking moon, she's my life, and I had said for all those years we never lost touch and we won't ever lose touch with each other, and she said, umm no we aren't gonna be friends either, I was like what? We have had zero fights in the last 2 years living together, my life was perfect till today and suddenly we can't even be friends as we have been for the last 30 fucking or so years. I'm fucking confused, and I couldn't believe it was true and she said it wasn't true that we couldn't continue our friendship anymore because of a new man in her life! No way! If she was gonna be with anyone it would be me, duh of course.
Well we hugged and cried a lot and we listened to some of “our” old music.
I'm not usually this guy, but that night I was that guy and checked her fucking phone, and WTF?
Lovey talk back and forth for weeks, Christmas morning she had me take a cute/sexy pic of her with a Santa hat on, with her phone and I did and I asked her to send me a copy and, she mumbled something, that mother fucking pic was only sent to him with kisses and fucking bullshit & it fucking gets worse, this guy is her ex-husband, the guy she left to come back to me, no, not him, his fucking brother!!! OMFG WTF and I've never heard her say anything but deny it and then I saw them posing in marriage picture in Vegas a couple of years later.
So I didn't let on that I knew anything, but I kept bringing up stupid little shit and how did I know and dumb BS that I don't remember now, but I let her dig and dig and dig herself in, then I told her I knew and she denied EVERYTHING even the pic lol, all kinds of obvious lies and weird unknown shit suddenly making sense now, so preceded to move her and everything she owned outside and I locked her out and shut off the lights and contemplated suicide all night. I used to be a workaholic and now I'm walking zombie-like and just going through the paces suffering from major depression and loneliness, my normal self-medicating devices, pot, and beer are not working at all, and I'm just trying not to kill myself, to say the least, my life is chock full of adventure and weirdness besides all this, so I get in a fight at work and lose my career job for last ten years, so I go back job I had for 8 years previously.
I was dead inside, had no drive, couldn't and didn't care about anything, felt blank inside, ok to the point, it's now almost been 10 years, I hurt inside and out, mentally and physically, I took early retirement and got on disability and I fucking love that woman and I think of her every day as well as many other disappointing situations from my past, this last couple years have been a ton better than before, my smile feels more genuine and unforced, but i will always feel that pain from that night and I miss her like a mother fucker, but what I miss most was those 3 fucking phone calls per year, that I'll never have again, and in hindsight, I would have traded those best 2 years of my life for those 3 fucking calls per year for rest of my life back.
The way she to my face while I cried lied to me and I believed her absolutely like a fool, I would never be able to trust her again, and maybe not likely anyone else.
Then I did what I always do when a woman hurts me, I went out and fucked every pussy I could get my hands on, hundreds, crazy shit, 6-7-8-9 a day, I lied to no one, I fuck about 7 other women and I don't do expectations & suddenly I was getting so much pussy it was incredible, apparently women appreciate the truth for once from a guy, and many told me it was nice to have great sex and to not suddenly have the guy clinging wanting to marry the first pussy that fucks him, I'm still friends with a dozen or so of the girls from then.
I could go on forever but the best I know is you never get over it but you learn to live with it, this story is interliinked with a few of my other stories and I am not the same person in so many ways, I miss some of what has changed and other changes were for the greater good,
I do have one fear as I get older it starts to become to much energy to bounce between all the women, and loneliness enters & I think i need to have a female best friend with benefits, mainly cuz if Crystal came back today wanting me back, my dumb ass would do it, but not if I was with someone else, lol I guess like a type of insurance, , insurance that I won't fuck up my life again with her. I've proven I can fuck up my life well enough without her. someday I'll put all these writings together and make a book about my crazy disfunctional life and no copies will sell since everyone already has enough of thielr own bullshit to deal with,
I've found these writing have been very good therapy!
Thanks for reading to the end

[sweeTiffany2000]

I’m so sorry sweetheart ❤️

[Longshanks1968]

Thanks, I appreciate that

[madhatters4]

it's only been a month. give yourself time. as you said, this relationship sprang up soon after a long marriage that ended in divorce. you probably didn't give yourself enough time to heal from that marriage falling apart.

so take the time now. understand that truly moving on from relationships and being prepared to enter new ones can take weeks, months, or even years. so don't rush things. invest in your personal relationships (friends, family, children if you have them). establish yourself as an individual rather than a person in or out of a relationship with someone else.

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO. good luck. i've dealt with horrible fallout from relationships. i've dealt with the end of relationships where the next day i felt ready to dive into a new one. it all depends on a lot of things.

[BlackBeauty90]

Online relationships AREN'T real as you don't know if what they're saying is real. Anyone can claim anything on the internet. No way of proving it.

Not to mention online relationships are prone to being toxic as proven here. Instead of trying to figure out what was going on and resolve the issue like adults all these people blocked you.

.

As for this issue well it is what is. Unless you have alternative methods of contacting her, there's no means of contacting her.

But take this time and desensitize yourself from your toxic relationship. That'll help you more in finding a decent partner in the future

[_Maya_]

Rough situation. I say that because it was all online where people can block and erase someone from their lives pretty easily. There really is not much you can do. Once someone blocks you online you just have to hope that they will unblock after people cool off. As for getting over the girl that just takes time. Some people take longer than others. It is tough but lean on friends and family for support. You don't have to tell anyone the dirty details of what happened but that something did indeed happen and you are just feeling down. That and give it the time it needs.

[SueShe]

The fact that I receive the updates, yet I don't see my own reply (and a number of others as well that have been deleted by the asker) leads me to believe that the asker is a spammer and troll.

I have reported him to GaG for further action.

[Asker]

Did I post more than one of the same question? No. So not spammer.

Did I delete useful replies? No. So not troll.

If your reply equated to "make real relationships" yours was deleted. You didn't understand the question, and said something to minimize the situation described. Don't worry, I reported you too.

[WilmaReportu]

Clearly, the content of the message raises red flags, as it alludes to a toxic past relationship, which could have long term impact on the individual's wellbeing. Additionally, referring to other individuals as trivializing friendship can create a hostile environment and potentially lead to conflict. Engaging in abusive behavior and violating the privacy of others is unacceptable and must be addressed.

[Asker]

@WilmaReportu Forgive me, but when did I engage "in abusive behavior and violating the privacy of others"? - having a disagreement with someone isn't abusive. Nether is arguing with someone.

When I said I knew their family members names, I know them because we spent that much time together that they told me the information, as one does with friends. In fact most of them knew my kids name and my situation. That's normal for friends to know that stuff. I also left all the names and most of the details out of this for their privacy.

Trivializing friendship; the 1 friend who did that had been my friend for 3 years, and she threatened to block me over an argument about spell check and me helping another person in the group learn how to use it. That's why I was originally mad at her. 3 years of friendship down the drain over spell check. I am a human being with the full range of human emotions and I'm allowed to feel angry, when it is justified.

I did have a toxic past relationship, that's why I have ex-wife. I brought it up because I have been depressed, and someone told me that me being venerable could be why I fell so hard and fast for the other girl, the one I'm trying to get over?

Your comment seems full of prejudice, and assumptions. It's left me confused to you're intention with this reply. Speaking of, why didn't you just leave an opinion?

[Asker]

@_Maya_ Thank you for being supportive, I am sorry the comments on your opinion have blown up even though they are unrelated to you.

[_Maya_]

So you have multiple accounts let's if we cannot fix that

[Asker]

Wait, who? This was supposed to be an An anonymous question.

[Asker]

@_Maya_ if you're referring to me, I can explain that. I only use the one. The other one I used before was from a few years ago that I lost the email information for. The rest were made when I used the wrong email because the new email I set up for this account was changed by the email client, so all of those accounts couldn't be verified, which means I couldn't post, like, share opinions, or reply to anything. I only use this account.

[_Maya_]

@asker I wasn't referring to you. Don't worry. The latest replies is just someone trolling as they normally do. I'll message the admins about it.

[WilmaReportu]

@_Maya_ And you will be reported for calling me a troll, which I perceive as cyberbullying.

[_Maya_]

@WilmaReportu Well thank goodness for that.

[WilmaReportu]

I demand that you immediately cease and desist with your language and vile behavior. Any further comments or actions of this type will only serve to trigger a most severe response from me.

[_Maya_]

Oh goodie. Can't wait.

[Asker]

@WillmaReportu, there is nothing she's said that isn't protected speech under the first amendment. Well, if you're not in the U. S., its still considered a natural right. Even then there is nothing here that isn't protected as speech even for the countries that no longer recognize free speech.

Basically, you are being a troll.

[WilmaReportu]

Speaking of alternate accounts, who's your little friend here?

[_Maya_]

@asker that's all this user does. Pay no attention and I wouldn't be upset if you removed the replies. I can do it as well but it carries a larger penalty. Sorry for this person interrupting your question.

[Asker]

@_Maya_ You're not a fault. There's clearly something wrong with @WilmaReportu on a psychological level.

[Asker]

@WilmaReportu Leave Inbox-kun outta this.

[Inbox]

@WilmaReportu Blocked

[Dilԁοphοbe]

@_Maya_ "Pay no attention and I wouldn't be upset if you removed the replies. I can do it as well but it carries a larger penalty."

That's isn't exactly true. I myself once asked an asker to delete my opinion. I kept annoying them for like a week, remifing them "please remove my opinion" I want to have a 100% MHO but since have lost it in this question...

At the end, she did remove it, but my MHO did not return...

Most importantly to your case here, the admins sifted through the removed posts. After the asker has hidden it, the admins additionally pulled out 7 points...

So if they review it anyway, then if you're successful I remhing it and the admins agree, then when the asker removes it, it will also remove that points.

And also, as the opinion owner, can't you click "I don't want to see this"?

[_Maya_]

I can click I don't want to see this but leave that to the descretion of the asker. It is his question should he want to remove content.

[Asker]

I typically have a "never stop your enemy from making a mistake" policy when it comes to themselves looking like an idiot, but if @_Maya_ wants to delete them that's up to her. The troll stopped replying for now. So, I don't really mind.

[WilmaReportu]

@Asker you don't need to cave into peer pressure and call me a 'troll.' Name-calling is childish. Now, if anyone would like to objectively express why they have any negative feelings about me and my superior intellectual faculties, please feel free to do so, for I have committed the posting guidelines to memory and have my finger on the "Report" button. Thank you.

[Asker]

Everything past your first sentence is why I called you a troll.

Man, you really make an art of falling on your own spear, huh.

[noohair]

I have found that some people get confused between a friend and an acquaintance; I don’t believe that you had any true friends on this app. Just acquaintances.

[Asker]

Read the update, I don't believe I was the one confused.

[whistlingwh0res]

Start dress up and get some attention from men

[Asker]

Not into dudes... Lol

[Anonymous]

Masturbate thinking of her, multiple times

[Asker]

I don't think that would be conducive to getting over her because sex is typically done as an intimate act, and stimulating sex by masturbating and thinking of her, will only make the emotions deepen... Thanks for the honest effort though.