I never truly got over a girl. I have never found any other woman as attractive as her. But she's gone, married. Should I give up?

[Mir95]

It's been 3 years since she got married. And I hadn't thought about her in a while. But since last Valentine's day, she's been on my mind constantly. And I've realized I never got over her. I just keep comparing every other girl to her, and no one comes close. I can find other women somewhat attractive but no one makes me feel like the way I felt about her and the way that I was attracted to her.

I do want a relationship. And just settle down eventually. But I think it'll be unfair for my future SO coz I know deep down that she'll be the second choice. I can try to be a good husband / boyfriend but I'm afraid that it'll not be the same as being with that girl. Should I accept this and just go on to have a relationship / marriage. Or should I just give up and be alone for the rest of my life?

[ManOnFire]

I briefly went through that once with an old ex too, who is also now married. But as time went on it didn't matter anymore to me and the more I grew the more I saw that we were never really right for each other anyway, even though there were beautiful moments.

I think what you're experiencing is a kind of separation anxiety, a feeling that what you had is lost, or even a feeling that you're stuck behind while she is in the next stages of her life with marriage. It makes you mourn even more, and I really can't say how you feel is totally bad. Best thing you can do is work through it and stop comparing. What you guys had is in the past, and there are women out there who could be even better.

[Anonymous]

You need to do a couple of things. First, you need to get laid. Ideally with a more attractive girl. Do this regularly for a couple of months and you should be able to get your ex well and truly exorcised from your mind and heard (via your dick and balls).

Once you've accomplished that, if the girl you're having sex with is also long-term relationship material, so much the better! If not, you can continue to have fun if you're both in to that OR if not, you can then start to date in search of a long-term partner.

Good luck!

[Tatitheunicorn]

My boyfriend makes me wonder if he is over his ex fiance at times because he talks about her from time to time.

I realize that she will always be in his mind no matter what or who he is with you just gotta find the one who is willing to be able to help you forget who she was and how things went that will treat you better.

[Hardshell1234]

Don’t give up. You are so young. You will find someone else. Don’t waste your life longing for only one person. Part of her appeal is her being unavailable to you. If she was your first love, recognize that but don’t discount the rest of the women in the world.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic tale of the one that got away - spicy yet heart-wrenching! My friend, it's time to channel that inner love guru and transform this narrative. Holding on to a flame for someone who's now in another chapter of their life, especially one tied with the marital knot, is like trying to relive your favorite movie scene when the film has long ended.

Firstly, it's not about giving up, but rather about opening up. Open up to the idea that while she was your version of perfect, there's someone else out there whose presence will make you forget you're even comparing. Love isn’t about finding a second choice; it’s about discovering a new chapter that's so captivating, you can't help but immerse yourself in it.

Yes, it will feel different - not because it's a downgrade, but because every love story is unique. Embrace that. Dive into self-exploration, give yourself the space to heal, and when you're ready, step into the dating world with the enthusiasm of starting a fresh, new adventure. The past has its charms, but the future is where your true co-star awaits. Let's not settle for being alone based on a past chapter. Your blockbuster love story is still waiting for its premiere! 🌟

[handsomelad70]

There are too many fish in the sea (I LOVE those 60's hits;Marvellettes and Mitch Ryder), so don't give up, laddie.

[OlderAndWiser]

Duh! Is this a serious question?

[laurlaur101]

I feel you on this I compared certain guys to others too there’s one on my mind too it’s thought to get over it’s never easy. If she’s taken she’s off limits she’s off the market especially if she’s married, but I think there will be someone else you will like you will just click & feel natural towards

[HateyouxD]

You don't even know what it's like to be with her. But there is a significant amount of people married to people who arnt their one true love. A lot of men are guilty of not being with the woman they want. But it's life. It's a two way street. Be with people who are AVAILABLE

[sheikalana]

You clearly need to give up. She's married now forget about her and stop comparing other women to her. There's millions of women in the world I can guarantee you that some of them will make you love again. Move on you're the one doing this to yourself.

[Juxtapose]

Come on man she doesn't even like you enough to be with you and you're still hung up on her? Have some self-respect!

A woman worthy of you will make you feel special and worthy yourself.

I really don't get chasing people that aren't into you. People that aren't into you should be a turn-off.

[Comingback]

You have to understand, things are easier said than done, but they have to be done. I was in a similar situation. There isn't a perfect moment, your feelings won't suddenly change. You have to know what you have to do, and simply do it. If you live to be 80 years old, that means that right now, 37% of your life expectancy is gone already. Do you really think your time is not precious enough not to be spent suffering and thinking about a woman that can never be yours?

[KrakenAttackin]

Been there for sure. Every girl I met after the one I lost was compared to her in my mind. Eventually you will (hopefully) meet a new girl that makes you forget all about the first girl. This is when you know you have moved on.

[Lara_Croft]

Guard your heart with àll diligence for out of it proceed the issues of life Proverbs 4 vs 23. It's not likely that you and her will ever be. Move on and let go

[strateguy632]

she is taken now. off the market. just find a new partner

[BoopBoopBeep]

Nobody makes you feel that way because you're too stuck in the past to give them a fair shot.

[LiamJHayden]

It can be easy to idealize someone who is no longer in your life, but yes, you need to move on and escape that mind trap. There are lots of great women out there who will make you the priority.

[JayBones]

No. You should skin ride her husband's face and eat her soul

[LadyLa820]

You should focus on other priorities and hobbies that you enjoy.

[Artie124]

you'll find someone better. i have felt the same way about a guy, but once I got over him, i found someone 1000x better

[slatyb]

No, you should meet more women.

[lightbulb27]

Did you date or is it some fantasy?

[KrazyJCD2002]

I Feel The Same ❤️‍🩹☔

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe try therapy

[laly520]

yes

give up

[Anonymous]

You are very immature. Grow up.