How come men deal with heartbreak so much better?

[Anonymous]

My ex-boyfriend seems fine compared to me. He doesn't seem torn up about breaking up with me. Is it because he broke up with me that he doesn't feel the heartbreak like I do?

Updates

8 mo

So he drunk called me last night and I got some clarity and relief. I still feel in pain but I at least feel better knowing he's in as much pain as I am. I'm starting to accept it and know I need to move on.

[Lynx122]

I think men experience a lot of rejection and heartbreak early on in their life unless they're popular with girls from the start. And after a while you reach a point where you just realize you need to be fine with walking away or her walking away you need to be fine with being alone.

Women will in general have the advantage in being able to walk away and replace their boyfriend. The quality of that replacement will be questionable but still it's possible. So if you're thinking about that or afraid of that you'll always be chasing after the woman while you're in the relationship and that's usually not a good situation to be in. So you need to have a certain level of not giving a fuck for the relationship to work.

Women will try and test you and wear you down over time but you can't become desperate and give in under any circumstances :) . That's just what it's like being a man. You can still enjoy the relationship but you always have to be prepared for it to end that's probably why. It doesn't mean you don't feel the loss of this person in your life but you just know the other options are worse.

If you let fear control you your life will continually get worse until you're ready to face that fear.

[Asker]

I understand. Thanks.

[Lynx122]

Thanks for MHO I hope you get through this and find peace :)

[Asker]

You're welcome and thanks so much!

[JustinTheGreat]

It’s not that men don’t feel heartbreak like women, they just tend to show it differently.

i find that women go through the heartbreak immediately after a break up and then after a little while, they get over It. While men feel fine at first and the break up doesn’t hit them until later

[Asker]

That's what his friends told him according to a mutual friend of ours. He's not feeling it now but he will feel it a lot later.

[JustinTheGreat]

Yes, for sure. A lot of men like to act tough and they suppress their emotions. But those emotions have to come out eventually

[loveslongnails]

Yes, that's one of the reasons. Break-ups "generally" occur mentally and emotionally some time before the physical separation and words are spoken. Yes, there can be a specific or spontaneous event that can cause a break-up, but generally speaking someone has moved on already by the time they tell you it's over.

[Levin]

I don't think that's true since women often have more options, and someone even waiting to go.

However, perhaps always one party seems to care more than the other in any relationship.

[Asker]

Even though I may have more options it doesn't take away this heartbreak I'm feeling. It's driving me crazy. I only want him. But I think I care more than he does.

[Levin]

Which really fucking sucks.

I lost a friendship recently for the same reason and it was quite like a heart break. We used to get on so well but I got the sense she didn't care.

[Asker]

I'm so sorry. It really does fucking suck.

[Levin]

You say he broke up with you. If that is the case, then think about it logically. He's has time to mull over this decision and come to terms with it. Whereas, for you, it's a shock. He has the power in this situation.

[ProbablyClueless]

I think it's because men are basically given a lot less slack to feel things like heartbreak.

Women are encouraged to emote and be expressive. Men are simply punished for it.

[Asker]

That's very true.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't start out that way. We are just as easily hurt as women in the early years. But then when we realize how judgmental women are, when we realize how fickle they are. That they will yank the rug out from under you at the drop of a hat we realize you NEVER really have a committed relationship with a woman. So we learn to enjoy the moment. Because that's all there is. It's foolish to get attached.

[SweetJoyGirl]

They think they are hiding it. lol

They will feel it later on. They tend to crawl back to see if you will accept them, again. 😂

[Asker]

That's my hope but I hope it won't be too late and I've moved on.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Don’t wait. lol
Move on, now. Why are you waiting? 😂

[Asker]

Because I'm in love with him so much. I can't let go. It's also very fresh. He just broke up with me a few days ago.

[SweetJoyGirl]

I am sorry, love. 🤗💜
Get your nails done and visit your hairdresser. It helps the process go by fast. 😭

[Asker]

Thanks. I guess I can do that!

[SweetJoyGirl]

You got this! 💜

[woahhh152]

"Seems fine" doesn't mean he's fine. You were his partner before you should be knowing if he's good with hiding his emotions from others or not

[Asker]

I guess he is. We had a talk this morning in general as friends about not sleeping well. So I guess it is bothering him to some extent but he's keeping a lot in where I just keep letting it all out.

[Twalli]

He has reasons why he ended it and focusing on thrm helps him realize that he needed that to happen.

[sirderpsalot123]

We just hide it better

[Asker]

Oh ok.

[Anonymous]

It’s fake
He is a much better faker

[Asker]

Oh ok.

[Opinion Owner]

Seeeeeeeeeeeeee