How guys deal with heartbreak?

I have been through a lot of break ups and it seems to me they are only getting worse each time. I always wondered how guys experience heartbreak and how they deal with it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm absolutely in the same situation as you so I don't know if I'm the one who can help you how to deal with your broken heart... but, based on my experience I might how they deal with their heartbreak:

    •if they get the chance, they'll look to get into another relationship ASAP.
    •he might hang out more than before.
    •he'll be more susceptible to parties and other activities.

    In other words, he'll get distracted. Most guys get easily distracted because its part of their nature. Also, they don't pay attention to details as girls do, so that says a lot.

    Hope I helped you!

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    • Yeah we pretty much do any of those three, occasionally we snap and are angry but we still end up doing one of those. Hang out with friends, go to parties, or try to move on as best we can, anything to get our mind off of it.

    • You have to keep in mind that you can't fit either sex into an archetype. I am very attuned to details. I also tend to avoid social activities in general, so after a hard breakup nothing really changes. I don't really like just dating around. The only hanging out I do is for the most part just skyping and playing video games with my friends.

    • I like this better than my explanation.

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What Guys Said 56

  • never seek revenge and always wish whoever broke your heart a better future. The way I look at it is, I want them to be happy and if being happy for them means being without me then I let the go. I always tell myself somewhere, somehow, someone is thinking about you and dying to have you beside them.

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  • A few years ago I had an ex that cheated on me while I was in the army. My highschool sweetheart. She started seeing other guys as soon as I left for basic. I got hurt in basic and got sent home due to bad knee problems. When I came home she was the first person to greet me off the plane. Here facade was incredible I had no idea what she had done while I was away until someone showed me the pictures of her and well... you get the picture. I was torn up for about a year but I got over it. Some guys never trust again and act like a child because they got their heart broken once. A mans hardest test in life is how they mend a broken heart, if they can forgive and move on then that's a real man. If they become one of those guys with trust issues then they're practically a child. Basically depends on the man I guess.

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    • Thank you so much for the comment. There should be more men like you in the world, and I'm sorry that you had to go through that.

    • Same situation happened when I left for MCRD. Our drill instructors told us.. leave your girls now they are cheating on you. Get back the second day what do you know.. she cries and says she cheated on me.

  • The only proper experience I've had was when I left the country after a year an a half relationship and we tried long distance but couldn't keep it going due to money. The break-up sucked.

    1) I had to stop talking to the person I'd spoken to every day for a year and a half.
    2) Due to this I got depressed because I had no friends and no girlfriend.
    3) This lead to daily drinking and weed smoking.
    4) After a whole summer of lying about doing nothing other than watching tv shows, smoking weed and drinking I decided to kick the bad habits and start a college course.
    5) I got a part-time job along with my college work to get my mind off of her.
    6) After three months of crying and no contact, I decided to message her.
    7) I managed to get over the constant thinking about her because we were finally on good terms again.
    8) Now it's been six months, it sucks but we're basically like best friends who lives a thousand miles and she's going to university in my country, so I guess we'll see what happens.

    That's my only experience worth mentioning because I wasn't in love with any others.

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  • If they're anything like me, they get really depressed and desperately try to focus on entertainment or other diversions so I don't have to think about how much it hurts, or else go to all the places that had meaning for us and mope around. I fall in love rarely, but when it happens, I fall hard and have the worst time letting go. So far it's only once I fall in love again that the old pain goes away...

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  • if the guy cares its a 6 step program
    step 1. beg
    step 2. think how to save the relationship
    step 3. work on what she complained about
    step 4. accept you will never be together again
    step 5. mope about it a month or 2
    step 6. get over it

    if the guy dont really care... well its much simpler
    step 1. get laid

    sometimes i wish i didn't care

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    • Those steps are for men who act weak.

    • its weak to do anything for someone you care about? if you wouldn't go that far after years of marriage or relationship time with the same person then you didn't care much... step 5 was tech a joke but partially true but thats the overall idea... first step to try and save the relationship... 2nd step if you can't save it is to accept it won't work... 3rd steps to get over it but i just broke it down a bit

  • Here's the real truth: you've seen examples already of both. The first kind is to escape, to bury away the sadness and hurt, and these guys drink, party, date immediately again, etc. Anything to forget the immediate past that's hurting.

    There is the second kind, where the guys wallow (couldn't think of a better term) in the break-up and go through a long recovery before they ever think of a relationship again. And there are many in-between.

    Net-net, a failed relationship hurts the men just as bad as women. We hurt. Often times men don't really show it outside the shell, which many women take it as an indication of callousness, or being just free-spirited to have forgotten the relationship already. Complicating matters would be the ease and approach of another woman who is available, which is the easiest thing to do (think about reaching for the wine bottle or that tub of ice cream when you're crying).

    Best thing for you though: talk about it. Talk to someone real. Your dad, your mom. Your close friend. It helps to soothe the pain and accept the reality of what is, and where you are now.

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  • I found out she cheated on me from her mom of all people which surprised the hell out of me. When she got home I took the engagement ring from her and moved out in an hour. The next week I moved out of state to Washington to begin a new chapter in my life. I have not been back to where I grew up in years and it is not because of her. It is because there is nothing there for me to go back too.

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  • Man, I was beyond hurt and lost after my last relationship ended; mainly because it as my best friend that broke my heart. (It was also my first relationship). I tried so hard to make it work and it wasn't enough. I couldn't break away no matter how bad it got; I recently got over her after seeing her true colors.

    I don't know what she thinks of me; most likely the worst, but I wish her nothing but the best.

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  • most girls fall for guys easier, but when a guy falls for a girl he falls really hard, if she breaks his heart he will be sad for a while, but time cures everything, it might take more time for others but believe me, time will cure it

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  • I take my relationships very seriously, I'm only 21, but I/m very mature, and I only start a relationship with someone if I see it lasting into the future, because I don't just date someone to have a girlfriend. Now because I take my relationships seriously, I also take my break ups seriously. I usually don't break up with my girlfriends, they usually break up with me. I usually end up getting teary eyed, or cry. I also feel nauseous, and can't eat well for a couple of days after because when I eat, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Also I usually sit at home, eat copious amounts of ice cream and junk food (when I don't feel nauseous) and watch hours upon hours of Netflix. All if these things happened with my most recent break up in August.

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    • It sounds like me when I go through a break up.

  • really depends on the guy, but for me its horrible, when my last relationship fell apart,, i also fell apart, i loved her so so very much and all day long all i could think about was going home too be with her. she left me and broke my heart. i dealt with it as best i could which was not too good lol. after work ide go home, shut the door and fall onto the floor in a ball and just cry cry cry. nothing could make me happy, all i wanted was her but i could not have her, just about killed me. i eventually got over her tho, it was very hard, but i guess thats life

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  • in the worst possible ways
    first comes denial where we start acting as if nothing happened
    then a week later the sorrow hits us and we disconnect from the world
    then comes the feeling shitty part where we start feeling like we are nothing

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  • I usually just kept to myself for the week, ducked away into my games to get back into them then went about normal life. For that week though no one would really see me. Though eventually you learn to look at the bright side of things. You broke up, you're hurt, but what can you learn. You had some fun in the relationship, you got to meet someone who now may be an ass/bitch, but at the same time there was something to them. Now you know what to avoid in the future and gotta remember 6-7billion plus people on the planet, women in my age range... i'm sure i can find 1 out of the other 1billion women on the planet to talk to. Just gotta move forward.

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  • I don't know what other guys do. I know this is going to make me sound creepy and gross among other things, but it seems to help and I want to be honest so here goes... In the past when I was hurt by a girl in a breakup, I would become promiscuous. In general I am not a promiscuous person. It has helped!

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  • never experienced a heartbreak, but if i did then i'd do only one thing...

    M _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E

    guess what :-PPPP

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  • same as many girls - there are differnet ways. Any man who is truly in love will be hurt and it will take time, just like any women. Some men get depressed, some get angry and some distract themselves with alcohol, drugs, or other easy women. Those are only a few. There is no one type. So, for the most part, think of it like this - when anyone, male or felame, is in the kind of love that he or she feels is a once-in-a-lifetime, or one-true-love situation, breaking up is hard to do! However, with age comes perspective. In a lifetime most people fall in love several times. The trick is falling in love with someone you can trust and love. Finding a person who can go through life together with you and you both becoming the most important people in your lives is important.

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  • We celebrate being single again. Then we hit on girls until we realize that the girl that broke up with us was the only person willing to sleep with us.

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  • Well I don't consider break up a heartbreak. To me a break up is a good thing, finding out you are not going anywhere with that person and now you can go find someone better.

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  • The only time I've truly been heartbroken I underwent a temporary personality transformation and became a very bitter, cynical, emotional drama queen. It caused all my male friends to alienate and exclude me from most of their outings.

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    • Happened once to me as well :/

  • My 1st break up was the worse didn't date for a year got a dog!! But i can tell u after 13 failed attempts it gets easier as u get older. Ill have some time to myself maby a week or to to think about what went wrong so it won't hapen again.

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    • Watch Coach Corey Wayne on YouTube. You will not regret it.

    • Why who is he? What does he do? I normaly like to figure shit out 4 my self. IM on the same journy as u r the road of self improvement. I have come a long way and am happy wid my progress.

  • 1. Expressing myself with loved ones and receiving encouragement
    2. Praying to decrease the pain of depression
    3. Exercising hard to let out the pain
    4. Finding self-help
    5. Accepting the reality of things
    6. Going through a phase of anger towards the other person
    7. Thinking introspectively and learning to avoid meeting someone like that again
    8. Finding myself again. Doing the things I like to do. Getting used to being alone again and learning to be happy with myself while being single.

    I've learned that everything in life happens for a reason. My trials and tribulations contribute to creating a better me.

    I've also learned that it's important to be happy being single so that I may be a person who is already complete, who will enter a relationship to give unconditionally without expecting the other person to give to me for me to be happy.

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    • It's learned that it's very important to allow myself to feel that pain, that anger and sadness. It's the grieving process. It's a phase where I cry, scream on the pillow, punch the pillow, exercise excessively as I've mentioned before, talk about my frustrations, etc.

      NOT to distract myself because that's what most people do, they escape reality in an attempt to forget their feelings. It's necessary to embrace the feelings of a heartbreak to be able to accept reality in order to move forward in life. Burying the feelings will only encourage escaping reality to the point of it becoming an addiction, like a fat person who stays home all day eating cake to feel better about themselves, or a person who uses drugs, or drinks alcohol, plays videogames, etc. That is not the way to deal with those emotions. You have to let yourself feel the pain and say, "man, I'm feeling like crap". Then you see yourself and ask, "What can I do today to make things better?"

    • ... and understand that everything happens for a reason in life to become a better person. Now that you've went through this, what can you do to avoid being with someone like that again? The definition of insanity is using the same strategy over and over expecting a different outcome.

    • You sound like you have a very smart way of moving. Something perhaps other men need to learn to do instead of lashing out and becoming players.

  • the only way i forgot was by loving someone else. U need someone to fill that space or u will keep thinking

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  • Wait, how many breakups have you been through (and what were the lengths of each relationship)?

    If you don't mind...

    Were they short-term, long-term, mixed?

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    • I've been through 3 serious break ups, the rest were just disappointments. I had one long and very serious relationship, we even lived together and then the other two were short term. The long-term was the last relationship I was in.

  • We act like we don't care and then we go home and flood our house.

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  • this guy ere does gross things on his own time. when I would get dumped, I would go talk to one of the x's friends. sometimes im the one doing the dumping

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  • hit the gym and fund hotter women to fuck, makes u feel a bit better,

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  • Run, work out, listen to music a ton, get busy with something else to avoid thinking about it

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  • Pretend to get better; get drunk less, get a better job, work harder, hang out with less perfesional degenerates. At least temperarily. Eventual things just go back to the way things were.

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  • First they tell themselves it was the bitch's fault (which it always is).
    Then they go out and get banged ASAP. That always helps.

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  • It's really hard actually. Girls think that they R the only ones that have it rough when it comes to break ups but guys have emotions too. We get pretty emotional but just don't have the balls to tell anyone. Usually i will b upset and listen to our favorite songs for awhile then after that I usually have to start talking to another girl to fill her place in my heart. See girls think that when a guy starts talking to another girl right after a break up, that they were cheating or didn't really car. That's not true at all. We do care a lot more than u think. I also drink and smoke a lot more than usual. We do anything to get our minds off of it Cuz thats the only thing that keeps us happy. Hope this helped.

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What Girls Said 9

  • The guys I've known have always been a little down for a few days, then they go to parties and hang out with their guy friends a lot more and try to look for a girl who will want hook ups. But thats just the guys I've known.

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  • Usually they're really sad and still care about you. Break-ups are never easy for anyone especially for guys after they put so much time and effort in trying to make you happy.

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  • Most recent ex (which was over ten years ago, but still applicable) cried and wrote bad poetry and drank himself stupid. He would call dozens of times in a row, until I blocked him. He was writing thinly disguised song lyrics about our breakup five years after the fact. It hit him really hard, and he's remained single. Fortunately he found AA.

    Ummm, guy before that? He went on a hunger strike. Or maybe he was just depressed and couldn't eat? He was miserable for a few months, probably just because I was the one that ended things and no other girls had before.

    Those were my two major relationships in adulthood,, other than with my husband. I don't really remember much about my HS boyfriends other than my HS sweetheart movies out of the date when I ended things.

    Hmmm, I've always been the break-upper.

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  • They get laid.

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  • guys just f*** somebody else most of the time

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  • Every guy is different

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  • Every man is different

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  • After breaking up with their gf there leant up falling in to another girls arms as a replacement shag her like you never existed and live the single all over again like nothing happened

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