How guys deal with heartbreak?

Question

I have been through a lot of break ups and it seems to me they are only getting worse each time. I always wondered how guys experience heartbreak and how they deal with it?

Buzzed · Accepted Answer

The only proper experience I've had was when I left the country after a year an a half relationship and we tried long distance but couldn't keep it going due to money. The break-up sucked.

1) I had to stop talking to the person I'd spoken to every day for a year and a half.
2) Due to this I got depressed because I had no friends and no girlfriend.
3) This lead to daily drinking and weed smoking.
4) After a whole summer of lying about doing nothing other than watching tv shows, smoking weed and drinking I decided to kick the bad habits and start a college course.
5) I got a part-time job along with my college work to get my mind off of her.
6) After three months of crying and no contact, I decided to message her.
7) I managed to get over the constant thinking about her because we were finally on good terms again.
8) Now it's been six months, it sucks but we're basically like best friends who lives a thousand miles and she's going to university in my country, so I guess we'll see what happens.

That's my only experience worth mentioning because I wasn't in love with any others.

Mobi_Rush · Accepted Answer

A few years ago I had an ex that cheated on me while I was in the army. My highschool sweetheart. She started seeing other guys as soon as I left for basic. I got hurt in basic and got sent home due to bad knee problems. When I came home she was the first person to greet me off the plane. Here facade was incredible I had no idea what she had done while I was away until someone showed me the pictures of her and well... you get the picture. I was torn up for about a year but I got over it. Some guys never trust again and act like a child because they got their heart broken once. A mans hardest test in life is how they mend a broken heart, if they can forgive and move on then that's a real man. If they become one of those guys with trust issues then they're practically a child. Basically depends on the man I guess.

MsAnthropist · Accepted Answer

Most recent ex (which was over ten years ago, but still applicable) cried and wrote bad poetry and drank himself stupid. He would call dozens of times in a row, until I blocked him. He was writing thinly disguised song lyrics about our breakup five years after the fact. It hit him really hard, and he's remained single. Fortunately he found AA.

Ummm, guy before that? He went on a hunger strike. Or maybe he was just depressed and couldn't eat? He was miserable for a few months, probably just because I was the one that ended things and no other girls had before.

Those were my two major relationships in adulthood,, other than with my husband. I don't really remember much about my HS boyfriends other than my HS sweetheart movies out of the date when I ended things.

Hmmm, I've always been the break-upper.

SherSiu · Accepted Answer

I'm absolutely in the same situation as you so I don't know if I'm the one who can help you how to deal with your broken heart... but, based on my experience I might how they deal with their heartbreak:

•if they get the chance, they'll look to get into another relationship ASAP.
•he might hang out more than before.
•he'll be more susceptible to parties and other activities.

In other words, he'll get distracted. Most guys get easily distracted because its part of their nature. Also, they don't pay attention to details as girls do, so that says a lot.

Hope I helped you!

sugardandylion · Accepted Answer

The guys I've known have always been a little down for a few days, then they go to parties and hang out with their guy friends a lot more and try to look for a girl who will want hook ups. But thats just the guys I've known.

spandex74 · Answer

Here's the real truth: you've seen examples already of both. The first kind is to escape, to bury away the sadness and hurt, and these guys drink, party, date immediately again, etc. Anything to forget the immediate past that's hurting.

There is the second kind, where the guys wallow (couldn't think of a better term) in the break-up and go through a long recovery before they ever think of a relationship again. And there are many in-between.

Net-net, a failed relationship hurts the men just as bad as women. We hurt. Often times men don't really show it outside the shell, which many women take it as an indication of callousness, or being just free-spirited to have forgotten the relationship already. Complicating matters would be the ease and approach of another woman who is available, which is the easiest thing to do (think about reaching for the wine bottle or that tub of ice cream when you're crying).

Best thing for you though: talk about it. Talk to someone real. Your dad, your mom. Your close friend. It helps to soothe the pain and accept the reality of what is, and where you are now.

footballfan993 · Answer

I take my relationships very seriously, I'm only 21, but I/m very mature, and I only start a relationship with someone if I see it lasting into the future, because I don't just date someone to have a girlfriend. Now because I take my relationships seriously, I also take my break ups seriously. I usually don't break up with my girlfriends, they usually break up with me. I usually end up getting teary eyed, or cry. I also feel nauseous, and can't eat well for a couple of days after because when I eat, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Also I usually sit at home, eat copious amounts of ice cream and junk food (when I don't feel nauseous) and watch hours upon hours of Netflix. All if these things happened with my most recent break up in August.

Newtown · Answer

really depends on the guy, but for me its horrible, when my last relationship fell apart,, i also fell apart, i loved her so so very much and all day long all i could think about was going home too be with her. she left me and broke my heart. i dealt with it as best i could which was not too good lol. after work ide go home, shut the door and fall onto the floor in a ball and just cry cry cry. nothing could make me happy, all i wanted was her but i could not have her, just about killed me. i eventually got over her tho, it was very hard, but i guess thats life

TheOnlyWhom · Answer

I usually just kept to myself for the week, ducked away into my games to get back into them then went about normal life. For that week though no one would really see me. Though eventually you learn to look at the bright side of things. You broke up, you're hurt, but what can you learn. You had some fun in the relationship, you got to meet someone who now may be an ass/bitch, but at the same time there was something to them. Now you know what to avoid in the future and gotta remember 6-7billion plus people on the planet, women in my age range... i'm sure i can find 1 out of the other 1billion women on the planet to talk to. Just gotta move forward.

Mr_Xavier · Answer

1. Expressing myself with loved ones and receiving encouragement
2. Praying to decrease the pain of depression
3. Exercising hard to let out the pain
4. Finding self-help
5. Accepting the reality of things
6. Going through a phase of anger towards the other person
7. Thinking introspectively and learning to avoid meeting someone like that again
8. Finding myself again. Doing the things I like to do. Getting used to being alone again and learning to be happy with myself while being single.

I've learned that everything in life happens for a reason. My trials and tribulations contribute to creating a better me.

I've also learned that it's important to be happy being single so that I may be a person who is already complete, who will enter a relationship to give unconditionally without expecting the other person to give to me for me to be happy.

allnite69withme · Answer

same as many girls - there are differnet ways. Any man who is truly in love will be hurt and it will take time, just like any women. Some men get depressed, some get angry and some distract themselves with alcohol, drugs, or other easy women. Those are only a few. There is no one type. So, for the most part, think of it like this - when anyone, male or felame, is in the kind of love that he or she feels is a once-in-a-lifetime, or one-true-love situation, breaking up is hard to do! However, with age comes perspective. In a lifetime most people fall in love several times. The trick is falling in love with someone you can trust and love. Finding a person who can go through life together with you and you both becoming the most important people in your lives is important.

JoshyJames · Answer

never seek revenge and always wish whoever broke your heart a better future. The way I look at it is, I want them to be happy and if being happy for them means being without me then I let the go. I always tell myself somewhere, somehow, someone is thinking about you and dying to have you beside them.

Baayak443 · Answer

It's really hard actually. Girls think that they R the only ones that have it rough when it comes to break ups but guys have emotions too. We get pretty emotional but just don't have the balls to tell anyone. Usually i will b upset and listen to our favorite songs for awhile then after that I usually have to start talking to another girl to fill her place in my heart. See girls think that when a guy starts talking to another girl right after a break up, that they were cheating or didn't really car. That's not true at all. We do care a lot more than u think. I also drink and smoke a lot more than usual. We do anything to get our minds off of it Cuz thats the only thing that keeps us happy. Hope this helped.

jermainyrn · Answer

When my ex cheated, I lost myself for a while. I was in denial and I couldn't accept the truth. I loved her so much. When you put your all into someone and they betray you, it's unlike any feeling in the world. When I went through it, I used other women to feel the whole she left behind. I felt alone, angry, stupid... yet I still loved her. It only took me to have a panic attack before I realized I should leave. Men do whatever possible to get over it because men Hurt worse than women in my opinion secretly

Brovak · Answer

Well I've never actually had anything official, but I have had a few things with some girls. I am pretty stoic so I don't really change my daily routine. I normally lay around doing nothing anyway, so you can only really tell when I'm angry. It's to the point were everybody I know has to actually ask me how I feel about something because they can't read me. I generally don't talk it out either, so it's kind of hard to distinguish between depressed me, happy me, etc. (anger being an exception, as mentioned above).

Phoenix98 · Answer

I've only been heartbroken once and it was more of a heart shatter then heartbreak but it pretty much went like this

Basically Here's My Process:

1. severe depression for a couple of days
2. everything reminds me of her
3. I feel better then the first couple of days
4. I spend days locked in my office writing poetry and mindless working on as many oil paintings as possible.
5. I smoke my briar pipe way more then usual with much stronger pipe tobacco then usual.
6. I train like a gym rat on steroids ( I don't use steroids though )
7. Start the search for another girl
8. I eventually get better over time while she for what ever reason stays latched onto the back of my mind.

GalaxyFlame90 · Answer

Basically Here's My Process: 1. I dont give a fuck about the world anymore!!!
2. I dont care how i dress (what difference does it make)
3. I dont care how i look like anymore
4. I act like a jerk to everyone
5. I feel good I've been acting like a jerk so i keep my head up high and make plenty of girls jealous (Idk why)
6. I feel sorry for myself about "her" and say i hate her inside i really dont and then i start writing raps about her
7. I ask my friend indirectly how is she everyday? Even though i say i dont give a fuck about her
8. I move out of the country.

Kountry_King · Answer

Aww man shit gets real for me it feels like everything sucks. I'm mad at everything too and I miss the hell outta that person I use to try and get them back afterwards but I put it in my head that she must be fucking with another guy so if its true no need to feel bad. I cut her off do more activities draw , write , read hang out with the homies get blunted and get drunk things I would normally do. Keep myself busy but then when I get home and think to my thoughts it feels like I'm laying on my bed in a glass house and its like the roof of glass is now failing all on me and I can see nothing because it's pitch dark

OneSlip · Answer

Every guy has a different way of dealing with these situations.
I was with a girl for about 3.5 years when it happend to me.
I didn't visit parties or clubs as I don't prefer those places, instead I used to either occupy myself being in my electronics workshop not talking to anyone (not even my parents), or I'd go to a bar alone for some drinks, put on a brooding face and think about what happend.
It lasted about a month for me, until I saw her hanging out with her friends all happy. Then I realized that she probably meant to do it anyways, and that I actually wasted a fair amount of my time on her.
Then I moved on.

Hope this answers your question :)

MakeCents001 · Answer

Man, I was beyond hurt and lost after my last relationship ended; mainly because it as my best friend that broke my heart. (It was also my first relationship). I tried so hard to make it work and it wasn't enough. I couldn't break away no matter how bad it got; I recently got over her after seeing her true colors.

I don't know what she thinks of me; most likely the worst, but I wish her nothing but the best.

petermuledonkey · Answer

If they're anything like me, they get really depressed and desperately try to focus on entertainment or other diversions so I don't have to think about how much it hurts, or else go to all the places that had meaning for us and mope around. I fall in love rarely, but when it happens, I fall hard and have the worst time letting go. So far it's only once I fall in love again that the old pain goes away...

Anonymous · Answer

Getting easier each time for me. I guess makes me tougher or I'm just used to it. I try to spend time with friends, have beer (but not get drunk), watch Simpsons or Three Stooges, or the best is to go to work and concentrate on something I consider important like my career, my studies, helping those in distress... a broken heart can be fixed by sharing it even if with not a significant other.

VanillaSalt · Answer

if the guy cares its a 6 step program
step 1. beg
step 2. think how to save the relationship
step 3. work on what she complained about
step 4. accept you will never be together again
step 5. mope about it a month or 2
step 6. get over it

if the guy dont really care... well its much simpler
step 1. get laid

sometimes i wish i didn't care

2tall2handle · Answer

I found out she cheated on me from her mom of all people which surprised the hell out of me. When she got home I took the engagement ring from her and moved out in an hour. The next week I moved out of state to Washington to begin a new chapter in my life. I have not been back to where I grew up in years and it is not because of her. It is because there is nothing there for me to go back too.

Crisaskmeanything · Answer

most girls fall for guys easier, but when a guy falls for a girl he falls really hard, if she breaks his heart he will be sad for a while, but time cures everything, it might take more time for others but believe me, time will cure it

Anonymous · Answer

It's different for each person, but my first real heartbreak was when I got rebounded.

Here's a few things I experienced

1) depression and emptiness
2) lack of focus on priorities like school, looking for jobs
3) lost interest in things I was usually interested in, especially common interests me and the girl had
4) low self esteem
5) lack of trust when a girl would be flirting with me or showing interest
6) loss of appetite
7) worthlessness

brainybutconfused · Answer

I don't know what other guys do. I know this is going to make me sound creepy and gross among other things, but it seems to help and I want to be honest so here goes... In the past when I was hurt by a girl in a breakup, I would become promiscuous. In general I am not a promiscuous person. It has helped!

Anonymous · Answer

liars liars liars

Guys get depressed for a bit just like women.
we dont feel like going out or seeing anyone or doing anything, just stay home and watch some tv, play some video games.
THEN AFTER A FEW DAYS OR WEEKS, we move on and talk to other women, go out and meet other women, have a positive attitude, find something to do, we work out,
so when your ex sees you, she sees you all happy and will want to know what is going on.

Shpongolia · Answer

The only time I've truly been heartbroken I underwent a temporary personality transformation and became a very bitter, cynical, emotional drama queen. It caused all my male friends to alienate and exclude me from most of their outings.

cuzzy · Answer

My 1st break up was the worse didn't date for a year got a dog!! But i can tell u after 13 failed attempts it gets easier as u get older. Ill have some time to myself maby a week or to to think about what went wrong so it won't hapen again.

Anonymous · Answer

When my heartbreak I did weird things like stay inside my hOuse for a whole year listening to music and watch a bunch of movies and tv shows, or go to the gym trying to get my mind off of it. It depends how hard it hit. And I cut off a bunch of people Most of the time i think about killing myself. And I really try not to shed a tear for the girl who broke my heart. It didn't feel right to. Too much pride I guess.

Klaatu51 · Answer

never experienced a heartbreak, but if i did then i'd do only one thing... M _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E guess what :-PPPP

This_guy_here · Answer

Well I don't consider break up a heartbreak. To me a break up is a good thing, finding out you are not going anywhere with that person and now you can go find someone better.

dakraziest · Answer

in the worst possible ways
first comes denial where we start acting as if nothing happened
then a week later the sorrow hits us and we disconnect from the world
then comes the feeling shitty part where we start feeling like we are nothing

Uriahrk47 · Answer

Run, work out, listen to music a ton, get busy with something else to avoid thinking about it

dreyga2000 · Answer

We celebrate being single again. Then we hit on girls until we realize that the girl that broke up with us was the only person willing to sleep with us.

zukiii · Answer

the only way i forgot was by loving someone else. U need someone to fill that space or u will keep thinking

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R3d_Anonymous · Answer

Wait, how many breakups have you been through (and what were the lengths of each relationship)? If you don't mind... Were they short-term, long-term, mixed?

micahis18now · Answer

Usually they're really sad and still care about you. Break-ups are never easy for anyone especially for guys after they put so much time and effort in trying to make you happy.

mooper · Answer

this guy ere does gross things on his own time. when I would get dumped, I would go talk to one of the x's friends. sometimes im the one doing the dumping

ArchDruidMordred · Answer

We act like we don't care and then we go home and flood our house.

Anonymous · Answer

After breaking up with their gf there leant up falling in to another girls arms as a replacement shag her like you never existed and live the single all over again like nothing happened

rocelot · Answer

Pretend to get better; get drunk less, get a better job, work harder, hang out with less perfesional degenerates. At least temperarily. Eventual things just go back to the way things were.

Anonymous · Answer

Men move the fuck on with no regrets. boys cry and complain about "the one that got away". Obviously I wasn't good enough for her at the moment. I keep myself busy and know i'm the best there is and if anything its there loss.

Tractorbeam · Answer

First they tell themselves it was the bitch's fault (which it always is). Then they go out and get banged ASAP. That always helps.

Anonymous · Answer

We usually hit things, blow things up, or run off by our selves. Drinking if they are old enough or... find a girl to use... yep most jerks did not get that way on their own usually there was a previous woman who messed him up...

Coolguy1928 · Answer

I shove tons of pizza in my mouth while suppressing a tear. That's how I do it! :)

cth96190 · Answer

Suicide is pretty high on the list for males. Have you ever wondered why so many young men commit suicide? It is usually because of a broken heart.

275153 · Answer

It hits us really hard. And we don't open up to our friends as easy as women do. It's hard. But we get through it.

Samssss · Answer

hit the gym and fund hotter women to fuck, makes u feel a bit better,

Anonymous · Answer

For me, I usually turn my sadness to hatred. Not at the girl, but at the world. I get all bitter because it's better than crawling in a ball and crying.

Anonymous · Answer

When u say heart break do I mean cheated or just separate for some other reasons?

Xwtxx · Answer

I just move on. I do hit the punching bag for an hour and move on.

Anonymous · Answer

I write a song. So far I've written twenty-two songs... just kidding. 😝

Anonymous · Answer

Pummel the bee-itch til she's so ugly you're not interested in her anymore.

imbittered_punk · Answer

Well i drink, that's what's always work for me.

Scrambled · Answer

Tequila and a strip club!!

SpareMeYourBs · Answer

guys just f*** somebody else most of the time

MJas16 · Answer

Every guy is different

jacquesvol · Answer

Mature guuys move on.

Victoria_xoxo · Answer

Every man is different

ValarMorghulisTR · Answer

They get laid.

Kurtz · Answer

i find something t

Anonymous · Answer

I go to the nearest wall to wail.

How guys deal with heartbreak?

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When guys are heartbroken, what do they do?

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