Visual (beautiful women)
Sexy women and sex with women (one woman will do)
Being cared about, cared for and loved.
Or being "nursed" and healed 😍
At first they are shocked and pretend, that whatever hit them didn't even scratch them (think of it like Guy Fawkes being shot from a group of mercs and guy fawkes is standing there still and says "My turn").
https://www.youtube.com/embed/a7KgMV3DXw0Then they return to base to fix all the damages from the breakup.
And then when they are alone and barricaded inside their base, they'll let go of a river of tears. They may also get drunk to numb the feelings. This phase can last months or even years.
If you see a man suffering like that from a breakup (it's why we do it alone), you will NOT recognize him. You will think (let's assume X is his name) "X is that you? I don't recognize you anymore! What happened to you?"
Receiving compliments (they love with their ears, remember?)
Being asked about, asked out, being pursued (no, you as a woman are not the prey and we are not the hunters. You are our interested VIP and we care and would like the same in return)
Also tendencies have shown, that women get sexually turned on when men spend money on her on dates or whatever - especially food and meals.
And of course FEELINGS and EMOTIONS!!! There is generally little space for logic here.
No comment.
Other than women getting over the breakup generally in like a month or so but just like men women can be susceptible to suffer from breakups for years but since women are more in demand in the dating market than men are, this is less often the case.
Some women however can change boyfriends like they change clothes.
I think men more hold it in and don't make a big deal of it (externally) to others as much. They may mention a comment or two to a close friend at the bar and the other dude may so "oh that sucks dude. Sorry to hear that." Then they'll talk about sports or girls for a bit and move on to other stuff. And if the man is feeling anything inside mostly they'll just tend to bottle it up until the forget about it in a couple weeks or months when it's not really a big deal to them anymore. Sometimes often more alcohol is involved along the way too or zoning out at work without really looking obvious. Just kind of drifting off thinking about the dynamic for a bit then moving on. Mostly a lot of men internalize their problems and aim to tackle them on their own and find closure gradually on their own.
Woman on the other hand tend to I'd say talk endlessly to their girls for many weeks or even months about it and analyze ever aspect of the relationship and nit pick all the shitty things the man has ever done while completely overlooking all the great things he's done too and why they were attracted to him in the first place. Repeat until all her friends pretend to agree with every thing she says she hates about him and talk about what a giant jerk he actually was all along anyway and point out how much better off she is now without him anyway (even though both the girl and her friends all know the guy actually likely wasn't that bad in the first place - or maybe he was, I really don't know). But they are a lot more social with their problems and externalize them.
I think there's always exceptions and always folks who will experience it more like the opposite sex than others, but generally they're different from what I've seen and experienced myself.
I haven't seen a pattern in terms of who takes longer to fall in love or who hurts more from break ups. That seems to be more about individual personality and the nature of the break up than being about sex.
But what I have noticed is that women have a tendency to "externalize" the emotional turmoil of a break up. We tend to (and tend to be encouraged to) view the break up as something that happened to us versus something we may have contributed to. We tend to act out on our anger and hurt, but we tend to express it outwardly. We'll band together with friends to pick apart our exes in an attempt to just feel better about ourselves. Hopefully (and in the case of me and the female friends I've supported through break ups), we do turn our focus inward to analyze what went wrong and how we can improve or avoid in the future.
Men have a tendency to "internalize" their emotions. If they don't immediately attempt to avoid dealing with it, they tend to get angry at themselves and blame themselves. Younger men tend to blame the other partner, older men tend to blame themselves for trying. Where women tend to try to find fault in the other, I've found men tend to find fault in themselves.
Of course as I said before, there's exceptions. But those are patterns I've seen through my life.
I think both have problematic bits, but what break up isn't problematic in some way?
Women I find tend to be less visual then men. The need for women to get to know a man on a much deeper level is needed before she can admit attraction, let alone say she's falling in love. I know men however who admit to falling for a girl already without even fully knowing her or even physically meeting her (I personally don't find online dating appealing, but I've observed friends that use apps).
I find men will say, I "love you" first, but will say it less often then women do. Men will go to creative and thoughtful lengths to express and show their love and admiration if they are head over heels for a lady. Whereas, I feel women often express it in words wanting to express and confirm their commitment.
When it comes to heartbreak, I feel women will suffer and go through more pain then men as they're usually more emotionally invested. They're often better and faster at fully recovering as they have a better support system as they're able to turn to girlfriends for support. Whereas men, they'll power through to simply "move on" but not fully heal and recover as most don't have the support group of having someone to discuss in depth what they're going through.
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-----------------I don't think it has anything to do with Gender and everything to do with your emotional maturity and experience in the matter.
Good question!
I see a lot of men saying women get over breakups faster, but I'm not sure that's true. At least not for all of us. Talking about it helps, yes, but only about as much as burn cream cools the burn. If it's bad enough, there's still a scar underneath. That's why women stereotypically often come with baggage. Men do too, I just think men and women may handle their scars and baggage differently. Even if the burn heals faster for a woman, the scar seems to have more of a lasting effect on her. It serves as a contract reminder and warning against pain. She tries to hide her scars, but they're always there, and she knows it. It leads to fear and resentment for anything that could cause another scar. So she builds up a wall of protection to prevent another burn. Layers upon layers of protective clothing hiding the scars and allowing her to get close to the flame but not let it touch her. I feel like a man scars and the scar serves as a reminder to remain cautious. However, once the burn heals he may approach the flame differently to avoid another scar but doesn't keep the heat completely out, leaving him actually more vulnerable than a lot of women, but also more open to a real relationship. Whereas some women are so scared and protected that it can take much longer to get through all of the layers.
I think women are more likely to seek support from friends and family. I think women also allow ourselves to feel sad, which eventually helps us move on. For me personally, I feel things deeply and take it very hard when things don't work out. Depending on how much I liked the guy will determine how long I'm upset over it. I'll be super depressed for x amount of time, until I one day decide I'm over it.
In a lot of ways, I am jealous of male friendships, the way they interact, the way they tease each other, the way they usually have very little drama, but when it comes to needing a shoulder to cry on, I think female friendships have it better.
Men experience a slower and more muted onset, but it lasts much longer. And this is the cases for their general emotional experience, so a man's emotional experience has more overlapping of emotional experiences compared to women because more events are being resolved concurrently.
Then there's also the context in which it all happens. The reality of women's efficacy in the sexual/social/romantic realms translates to a breakup on average being a lower risk proposition for them. By contrast, for men, the consequence of lengthier resolution processes and the comparatively more difficult challenge (and timescale) of replacing the fulfillment of those needs presents a greater risk from the outset of the entire endeavour of courtship.
Speaking on the difficultly of the challenge: Women's proclivity for having preferences favoring emotional fortitude in men further steepens that slippery slope -- being negatively afflicted longer and/or more intensely results in aversion by females.
Hi 🙂 I'd say it's less gender specific and more revolved around the level of love by each person involved. I love the quote "because when a heart, it doesn't break even." It boils down to who cares more sometimes and how that relationship impacted you. For myself, there have been men I easily got over but then there was one that felt as if it destroyed me when he left. He's married with children now but when I reflect on that relationship and his departure, it still pains me to relive.
I believe that men try to forget the women by indulging in as many mind occupying activities such as sleeping with other women drinking alcohol (inherently becoming an alcoholic) or even a positive occupier such as a very busy job or making more out of themselves and then later in life hits them harder and everything comes back to them
Where as with women they go through the pain immediately and slowly recover over time then being able to forget bc she already went through the heart break
If you dont agree please just explain why I'm not a woman so I wouldn't know completely hence why my thoughts on the females side is shorter
It is seen as far more acceptable for a woman to emotionally get it off her chest & she will often call upon her friends for support , men tend not to do either & focus externally , on work , hobbies or both. One factor in a woman's favour is she will always have male options available if she so chooses , in addition to her much closer own gender friendships , there are far more men " on the market " than women. Seems most people think men are more adversely affected than women... depends on the individual in my opinion , I am quite detached & moved on with my life very quickly after breakups , what is the use of moping around? Have been single by own choice for nearly 6 years & will never change that , prefer own company , not bitter , simply not bothered about pairing up now.
My heartbreaks are caused by:
-being ghosted
-being sexually mislead
-feeling ignored
-triggered by ānot being enoughā every time a guy just wants sexual intercourse.
Itās my fault, I should have not put my in position to be sexually mislead. This has to do with watching porn in the past, so I manifested meaningless sex very often.
So I simply disappear, the guy doesnāt care anyways. I am not going to humiliate myself further.
After I acknowledge this I start healing, focusing on myself 💯(loving the wrong person is so draining, depressing ) , thinking about āthereās better out thereā and being patient, believing that I can too find someone who is willing to ride or die for me, just like I would for them. Inspiring myself through those young couples who decided to be together and really are together.
I been sucked in too many situationāships smh 🤦🏾āāļø
both sexes experience heart break the same way ! men have feelings and emotions too but some men were raised to believe that men do not cry because your not a man if you cry ! total meanness , when a man is told not to cry when their feelings are hurt ! I want to see my man cry ( not because of me though ) for that lets me know that he is willing to cry when he is hurt , watching a sad movie , at a birth or death too ! men are just as human as us women are so they should be allowed to cry and not be put down by any one for doing so ! thanks
From what I've heard, is that men and women do feel heartbreak about the same it's just healing times are is a bit different. Apparently, women get over heartbreak/breakups faster cause we are more intune with our emotions so we express our sadness, anger, and disappointment a lot easier thus helping the healing time be more faster. Where as for guys, it may take longer cause men deal with heartache in their own ways that aren't exactly freely emotional. It really just depends on the person, some men and women get over it quickly while some take longer..
I think feelings of love are for the most part pretry similar but I think break ups are VERY different.
When a guy gets dumped he feels extremely lonely, because male upbringing usually teaches him not to voice his emotions and just hold them in. He won't get his emotions off his chest and it will take him much longer to move on. And feeling like there is no one to talk to about it makes him feel that much lonlier.
Where women usually have friends they immediately turn to after a break up to discuss every detail. So in the span of maybe one weekend a girl can get it all off her chest and move on. Unless a man is very in touch with his emotions, its gonna take him much much longer to move on, and he's gonna dwell on those emotions a lot longer.
Well I believe we do but I also believe within our own gender we have sub genres like almost anything in life.
I believe the basis are at heart for the core group but just doesnāt get as deep. Like Iām a sub genre where Iām heavily planted in the middle of being āthe emotionalā and āthe physicalā so Iād say Iām āthe understandingā well I believe men forcefully put themselves out there to try to forget. Simply because to the majority itās not as easy to get a woman as it is for her to get a man.
I think women simply face the pain immediately leaving them to embrace new love when it comes. Simply because itās truly easy to get a man.
I think I experience love differently than almost anyone. Most people, both men and women, seem to see love as the "feeling" or "emotions" or "connection." I see it as the commitment I make to someone with whom I share sufficient compatibility.
Because of the aforementioned I have not yet experienced romantic heartbreak. I think the only way I could would be if someone with whom I was committed and compatible died. Otherwise, if the compatibility falls short for me or her, I am fine with a breakup. But as to the question, women in general seem to handle heartbreak by reaching out to their circle of friends. Men seem to turn to their interests or hobbies.
Woman cry and talk about it with others. They try and process the reason why.
Men tend to keep everything in and try and get on with it. They might well throw themselves into another relationship to stop them thinking about things.
On the outside this looks cold, like he never cared, but we know he is emotional, hurt and upset and just trying to heal as quick as possible. ) It isnāt a quick process...)
I don't know about love but I've heard that the initial heartbreak is harder on a women but they get over it faster. The simple fact that men don't talk about their problems and feelings (I'm not saying all men don't) and it's characteristic that needs to change. There's nothing wrong with talking if you have something on your mind. It's more healthy that way.
Yeah men tend to develop feelins of love more easily than women.. Simply because men in general heavily gravitate towards how a woman looks more than anything.. Which is why women generally can be all types of difficult and the man won't mind it for a while simply because he likes how she looks.. When women love they they subconsciously think about the man for most of the time their mind is workin.. For men companionship is more important when dealin with love.. When dealin with heartbreak.. For a guy it's usually much more lonely than for a woman.. As the woman he was with was usually his best friend, and guys usually don't share that info easily with people.. Whereas women can have a whole support group..
Women want to star in their very own romantic story. Ever since they were a little girl they have read about princesses and being rescued one day. The stories expanded but the theme is the same. So women fall in love and have that narrative going and it influences their decisions.
Guys are more action oriented and focused on solving problems. I feel horny, getting with a girl can solve that. I want to have fun this weekend, taking a girl out Is fun. I want a relationship to have a reliable partner, let me date someone and become exclusive. Yes of course guys are romantic, but love for guys is much more of a logical project broken into tasks and leveling up.
Obviously everyone is an individual and many women and men donāt relate to those at all, but you asked for some gender differences so there you go.
I think individual differences are probably greater than collective differences on this one, but that being said, I've heard that women have more social support from friends and family.
Both will rationalize, and try to make themselves feel better by changing perspectives, though I think that may be a more male thing to do, while women are more likely to "cry it out".
I think they are opposite. Men when they get heartbroken the first is to said that doesn't matter i am happy one but after few weeks they get in a depression mood they remember how was they are happy with their partner then they begin to cry very hard and they took more time to get over it. Girls or womens are totally opposite they begin to cry then few weeks in depression and finally they begin to stand up aand start a new whole life. They are more powerful than men.
I think people experience the same feelings, but tend to compartmentalize them differently. For instance, when a loved on dies, I get very withdrawn and do not show much emotion to those around me, even though I'm devastated. Others who are equally devastated will cry and be inconsolable. We all grieve differently. Same goes for (the loss of) love.
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