What do you think of the concept of revenge body?

[Anonymous]

I recently had a breakup with my boyfriend and though he loved my body the way it was, it definitely could use some improvements.

The breakup is motivating me to almost starve myself because I can't hardly eat in this state and to also work out more.

I know I should be doing it for myself, but the next time he sees me, I want him to go damn, I may have made a mistake.

[HollyK21]

I’m not a fan of making that kind of commitment to weight loss for anyone other but myself. You are handling your breakup the wrong way, starving yourself, going hard with the workouts, as if your body is the sole reason he left you. There were other, deeper issues that a revenge body isn’t gonna fix.

[Asker]

I think it played a major role in the breakup. I was severely insecure and it was the cause for the breakup in my opinion. If I'm better physically then my confidence will be there and may attract him back. I know there are other things I need to fix beyond my body but it's the main thing that caused it in my opinion.

[HollyK21]

Honestly that is probably just you in your own head. Men lose interest, women lose interest, it happens. If your insecurities played this deep of a role then let me just say that getting skinny isn’t gonna fix your problems. That is deep rooted trauma that needs healing, and you are doing the exact opposite. You are feeding the insecurities when you’re starving yourself to live up to them. There are still problems you will take back to that relationship because you haven’t addressed them.

You aren’t fixing your problems, especially not the ones that contributed outside of your weight.

[Asker]

I'm working on that with a therapist. I'm working on myself completely but I know my body is one of the major things I need to work on in order to get to a place I can say I'm comfortable with myself. But I know that there are other issues I need to work on in order to be at a place where I can be in a relationship again. I realize that. I really do.

[HollyK21]

So maybe it’s better to solely focus on all that right now, without making him and getting that relationship back a priority as well. No matter at what capacity, it will only serve as a distraction when you keep him at the forefront of your efforts. Why? Because what if he’s not there once you’re done? What if you lose the weight, do all that work, and ultimately he’s moved on or doesn’t want you back? If you prepare yourself mentally then sure, it could only serve as a disappointment but because he’s so much of a driving factor in all this, I think that would be a major blow. I mean you are already hurting greatly.

Of course all of these opinions are simply food for thought, so my advice would be to release him and that relationship during this journey, make it ALL about you, then see where you land later on down the road.

[Asker]

You're so right. I need to be focusing on myself. It's just hard right now because I'm hurting so bad and love him so much but I will try my hardest to focus on myself.

[HollyK21]

Trust me I totally understand, you’re mourning a loss right now and everyone handles that differently. You’re allowed to grieve and hurt, but how you do it is super important because it’s going to affect not only you, but how you deal with men going forward.

I mean look at the situation already, starving and over-exerting yourself over a man, healing trauma that was likely caused by a man, going through one of the most tumultuous/painful junctures of your life for a man. So much negativity in your life fueled by men. That’s why this weight loss and healing experience should be POSITIVE journey solely attributed to yourself. I don’t think you’d be able to look back at all this proudly when you notice the extremities you’ve taken and work you’ve done to once again be due to a man.

If you want to really make this about yourself, mindset comes first and correcting it. Like when you get ready for the gym, or you contemplate whether or not to eat that snack/meal, what drives you? What sort of discipline does inner you receive? Is it some mantra of ‘if I achieve this body or size he will want me back’? Or healthy goals you’ve set for yourself, like ‘I want to lose 10 pounds to look good in that costume on Halloween’. Mindset is everything.

[Asker]

Thank you. I will try my best to work with my therapist to seek out healthier ways to deal with the loss. I know starving myself and overdoing the exercise is not the way to go especially not for trying to get him back. I just feel so sad right now and not thinking clearly but working with my therapist will help a lot.

[HollyK21]

No problem at all, take the time you need to get through this and hopefully your therapist is able to help you navigate that journey in the healthiest way💛

[kylee2437]

The point shouldn’t be to get back at your ex, it should be to self improve, this is a good motivator to help move you on forward and do better for yourself. I’m sure after the transformation , you will probably have more confidence to not even care what your ex feels

[Asker]

That's true. You're right.

[Rosexøxø]

Answering title alone and looking at image.

One is when a person hurts and tries to love themselves or seek comfort and don’t know how to love the right way. Cope the right way.

The other is when a person gets hurt by one person specifically and decides that pain is worth it since they’re already in emotional pain and it will help them prove a point. They’re character was worth the relationship and they’re capable of being beautiful and getting anything they want.

One is self soothing and one is constructive pain seeking or pain enduring.

I’m not sure how or why people think this way and how the switch is made. Maybe it’s the only time they see a clear way to hurt the person who hurt them. Show them some kind of lesson. If any other person said to them “hey, we’d be better off without you?” The injured person would go eat a pizza and ice cream later, they wouldn’t know how to defend in the moment or cope after such event. But a guy or girl breaking up and for example sake, say “you’re too fat for me.” Ass in some kind of rude word like “behemoth.”

Then they hurt but know they can seek out a gym and go there until they reverse the outward appearance of he friends and immobility and then get a jab back at the person who insulted them who was once in a relationship with them.

It’s a means of defense and ofc revenge of some type.

Now after reading the context of question and recollection of my own past personal experiences I’d have to add it can encourage people to seek gym and know the overall way of getting revenge.

They found a way to cope, but they don’t know how to do it properly. If you’re not careful you can lack necessary energy. Food itself isn’t fat or just fat, it’s energy. Simply have to decrease the intake and slightly increase and just keep it up with the output of energy. The intake should be more nutrient filled and less likely to have artificial sugars or turn to sugar quickly. Carbs can do that, so working with them should be an intentional and mindful process.

Intermittent fasting can be a go to, or a keto diet. Following the diet regimes there can ensure you’re staying up to date on health and achieving the goal of minimizing unhealthy fats.

Starving simply isn’t it. A starving body will put up a fight and if you hurt it you’ll hurt yourself ofc and have a near hospital emergency.

Say you were think and one meal away from death and decided not to eat and starve cause you wanted to be slightly thinner. You’d die- you kilxed yourself. So essentially just cause you’re meals away from death doesn’t mean it’s any less extreme. A body can go like I don't know 5-7 days without food and water but even missing one or two days and it’s dying. We need to replenish every day. Our body is like a plant. Plants absorb water and rest evaporates. We are cars that never turn off and need the daily fuel. The ones with extra grime in the engines and gas tanks are the ones who need a cleansing. But to remove the energy source altogether is just not wise.

It’s not really loving ourselves either. So I love your passion and goal. I think it’s a good one, just try to apply some structure to it, so you don’t find yourself off the rails and a bit reckless. Stay committed, but love yourself more than hurting or proving to anybody else. Cause you’re more important and MOST important. You can’t fight yourself or the human way of retrieving and using energy, you need to work with it. Find your rhythm, your pace. And once you’ve got that.

you’re like sleek a race car 🏎️ and the driver who is fully in control of their car. You’re like sia- unstoppable- a Porsche with NO BRAKES. And you’ll be doing circles around the ex’s who should’ve treated you better.

Do circles and feel like your best self. Don’t do half circles cause you’re like on half sleep half diet incomplete love. LOVE YOURSELF. That’s the biggest take away. The whole world can not love us. It takes us time to sort through and find those who do truly care for us, but just cause we find a dozen of them who don’t love us doesn’t mean at all we can’t love or we stop loving ourselves. Your first priority. The lessons and revenge is all secondary. A close second.

No offense and hope this helps in some way. Best to you!! 💯

[Asker]

Thank you. It does indeed!

[Rosexøxø]

I absolutely apologize for the mistakes. I meant add* not the butt word, and a few others.

[Asker]

It's okay. Really.

[Rosexøxø]

😄🙏🙌💯💪✨💕

[DishLady]

First of all, “revenge bod” has to be for you, not for some guy. It’s a way of getting a second lease on life, a “you do you” opportunity to take control of your own life again.


Starving isn’t the answer and can lead to bad side effects. Try incorporating exercise.

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

ok girlie,,, absolutely no starve yourself!! pack that shit in right now, because that is driven by a thought of some previous harm to your very self... and it did not come from you, you are scolding yourself to this aim of a revenge body... to inflict injury in return... for? my health both mental and physical have move into a stream that has run through my entire life... I've also partied hard, still smoke, like the green... and since the green alcohol has departed 95 percent of the time... my digestive system calms and mid life tummy issues are less. my eating suits me, what and times and not at all sometimes, i exercise more, i take cold immersion baths, converted a small freezer, highly recommend, reduces pain, no matter what condition, two times the dose of dopamine more than cocaine man! plus the push of hormone actually builds up over a few hours and then slowly dissipates, turns white fat to brown, the healthy fat, imagine that people, all you have to do is sit in cold water... stimulates and keeps your cardiovascular system healthy, reduces inflammation, promotes healthy skin, and mentally. my meditation i use, she sais, if you can control your breath, you can control anything!! now when i started i thought am i going to actually think that in a moment of chaos, and i did, for a while, then it just became natural, and the truth is, it becomes you because of the practise, my everyday life if ten fold easier to exist in because of five minutes in the cold... i looked up revenge, because i was curious, who is the revenge on? because my view of the crooked narrative is the person gets super fit after a breakup and its revenge on the ex who lost them... but looking at the meaning, i agree its revenge on myself... when im coupled up i always treat myself like shit, and lower my own wants and needs... i built a gym and got a hot tub and cold tub and begged my ex for five years to at least try, he had one cold bath... all below i can promote upon myself with regard to my current status... another promise i can make, by pushing yourself to cold water immersion, at the first point,, i promise it will provide such a boost of positive chemicals that you will give you a lift of energy to make those extra efforts re diet and exercise... i also recommend using a vibration plates whilst using dumbells you can reduce your work out time by a third, ten minutes... i actually had a thought pop into my head earlier about the double tummy tuck and breast lift? no matter what exercise and toning i can never fix the above due to age and life itself... but if i work my body to the best it can be, is it no surprise i have the desire to model the skin on the outside to match, plus i need abs stitched back together... when i infront of the mirror force the tummy view if i had a tuck and lift up my breast, i look good, especially for my age, i feel its the body i deserve, I've fought hard over the years about my weight and try constantly... but unless i raise thousands and take a surgical risk im stuck with it... there is also the view of revenge body, people get in shape after a break up.. this goes back to my personal point earlier, why dont couples do it together, instead of being potatoes on the couch, leading to breakdown and then single revenge bodies!! lol i would love a hang out friend to train with!!

revenge
1 of 2verb
re·​venge ri-ˈvenj

revenged; revenging
Synonyms of revenge
transitive verb

1
: to avenge (oneself or another) usually by retaliating in kind or degree

2
: to inflict injury in return forrevenge an insult

revenger noun
revenge

2 of 2noun
1
: a desire for vengeance or retributionmotivated by revenge

2
: an act or instance of retaliating in order to get evenplotted her revenge

3
: an opportunity for getting satisfactionsought revenge through a rematch

[Purpleronnie]

I have known lots of women to do this , whether they are broken up with or they break up , they do this who loosing weight and getting in shape. I get it , we all get comfortable in relationships and gain a few pounds , some more than a few and then reverse it or attempt to when single. I dont think it’s right to phrase it as revenge though , it just doesn’t fit does it. Yeah he might notice you have lost weight and think good for her , but what is it revenge for? If he was so shallow as to dump you for gaining a few pounds then F*** him. You’re doing this for you as you’re obviously thinking it’s affecting your health and body confidence. There is no revenge

[Asker]

That's true. I probably shouldn't have phrased it as revenge. But I just mean, him seeing me with confidence in myself and my body and him going damn I messed up majorly would be the ultimate good feeling. It's the motivation I need to get through this whole thing.

[Purpleronnie]

Yeah I understand that , it’s natural. I remember having g/f’s deliberatley wanting to bump into their ex while I was with them. If it provides you motivation then that’s good , take all that you can get to drive you. But love yourself and do it for you , trust me when your proud of yourself confidence just oozes out of you and there is NOTHING sexier than confidence !

[Asker]

That's true. Thank you!

[LifeHitMeandRan]

It is toxic. You're seeking revenge in some fashion. That NEVER ends well in any regard.

Beyond that, starving yourself is not a good idea. You need fuel for the gym. Often times it is WHAT you eat that matter more than HOW you eat.

I just hired a personal trainer for weight loss. Her program is very challenging to me and I'm already seeing results. Surprisingly, I am eating MORE now than I did before. But I am eating better because it makes me feel good.

Decide WHAT kind of body you want for yourself to feel your best and cater your eating and working out towards that, NOT towards what an ex may think.

[Asker]

Okay.

[HawkPerception]

I never understand why women do this. Relationships are about effort. It's really sad you're willing to put effort in to make him jealous and attract other guys when the relationship is over and not look good for him while you're in the relationship.

Yes people should love you for who you are as a person, but part of who you are as a person is the you that had the desire to workout, stay in shape and care about your appearance. Not the you that stopped giving a shit while you're in a relationship.

I wouldn't date a girl that did not care about her health and appearance. And I would continue to date a girl that stopped caring about their health and appearance.

Is it that bad to want to look good for your partner? This generation is lost.

[imtiaz45]

The concept of a "revenge body"—achieving a fitness transformation as a reaction to a breakup or personal setback—can be both motivating and problematic. On one hand, it may drive positive change and personal empowerment. However, it can also emphasize external validation and reinforce unhealthy motivations linked to self-worth and body image. Focusing on self-improvement for personal health and well-being, rather than revenge or proving others wrong, promotes a healthier mindset. True transformation stems from self-love and genuine goals, rather than seeking validation or retribution.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/OdxK0EhDIZ0

[Ms_Facesitter]

Childish and stupid. No offense to anyone who does this, but the honesty is what we strive for.

I just always believed that it's stupid to be stuck in the past and do things 'out of revenge, jealousy, or to get back what you used to have'. To me that's living with an ex in mind, not living 'Just for you'. The relationship is over, reflect on it, look at what he did wrong, what you did wrong, what could have improved on both sides, what you liked and disliked and move on.

Don't work out because of an ex, do it for you. The ex shouldn't matter anymore, he's in the past. If you go for a 'revenge body', he still matters, that guy. But he shouldn't.

[genericname85]

i think it's fucking stupid. why would you not stay hot for your partner while you're with him still? i mean it's not like you have any disadvantages from that and in order to be and stay healthy, you should be doing that for yourself either way. so using that as "revenge" is dumb in my opinion.

like if it serves as motivation to get back to a healthy body, fair enough, i guess... but if you need breakup to take care of yourself, you probably have some deeply rooted problems that need work.

[JesseP1nk]

Its nothing new really. Every man has gone through that.

https://www.google.com/search?q=men+before+and+after+breakup&rlz=1C5CHFA_enEE873EE873&oq=men+before+and+after+breakup&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBggAEEUYOzIGCAAQRRg7MgYIARBFGDwyBggCEEUYPNIBBzU0NmowajSoAgCwAgE&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

[_piotr]

Rather toxic and selfish. You should try to do it while in relationship for you AND your partner.

It is like a man, who would not take care of his wife and after divorce was like "look I improved, now I am a good partner, be sad!". What? Maybe he should have tried to be a good partner while he was with her?

[ohmyguy]

It's too bad that it often takes a break up for one to decide to make positive life choices..
And neglecting to do so for what ever reason could understandably be why a partner may choose to part way.

It's important to care about ourselves enough to recognise the importance of mainting our physical appearance.

I much rather have have sex or be seen in public with the new you..

And I would find life a bit less exciting with the person on the left

[Abbycado]

I doubt he is going to look at it as a mistake just because you improve your body. There were other reasons you broke up.

[Asker]

True. But it was a major issue in my opinion on my end. I was never happy with how I looked and it seeped into the relationship. If I feel good in my body and he sees that, then maybe he will want another shot at it.

[Abbycado]

I mean, it is possible. I think the bigger picture is that at least YOU will feel better about yourself, and it will less likely impact future relationships, no matter who it is with.

[Asker]

That's true. I'm hoping that my confidence will sore whether it brings us back together or not. I will at least be happy with myself but there is a big part of me that still hopes that it will bring us back together. And I know that's not a healthy way to think about it but it's motivation at least.

[Abbycado]

I hope you get to that point where you are happy and confident with your body. Best of luck. ❤️

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

It’s a great motivation to get healthier.
No matter what you use for motivation. It’s works 🫵 The bigger the motivation, the better.

I wanted to impress a Handsome Hot Chad I met. And I lost all the weight. I wanted to match him to have him. 🫵

And I know it’s superficial, I know it’s Vanity. But it’s what saved me from diabetes in 2019.

[on_my_knees]

I've never once looked backed at a breakup and though "Oh Gee I guess I made a mistake." Girls are a dome a dozen.

[on_my_knees]

*dime a dozen.

[Asker]

Oh ok

[HighValue]

Any intelligent person would know that they didn't make a mistake because the person they used to be in a relationship with wasn't willing to put in the effort while they were together so they were a bad partner.

[ProbablyClueless]

Do whatever you have to do to hype yourself up after a breakup, but honestly, no amount of hotness is going to make me regret leaving a relationship. By the time I get to the point of leaving, the hotness has long since lost it's charm.

[BetaBucks]

He's going to think "she obviously didn't give a fuck about me, because she only got in shape for other men, and didn't even try for me."

[Asker]

But that's not what I'm doing. I'm not getting in shape for other men. I am doing it for myself but also for him.

[BetaBucks]

Doing it for yourself IS doing it for other men. Because you want yourself to be what you know other men want. Like when women dress sexy when they go out. It's always for other men, because it makes themselves feel better to be sexy for other men.

But are you saying that you want him back, or just want him to feel bad about you not being willing to improve your appearance until he wasn't around anymore?

[Asker]

No I'm saying I want him back. I want him to see that I'm confident and not insecure about myself anymore. That I actually worked on myself for myself and for him.

[BetaBucks]

Ahhh okay. Sorry, I was framing this unfairly then. I think the "revenge" part threw me off. I can try to give an answer again.

I think this can be effective, but you would have to do some honest reflection and think about whether the relationship failed because you let yourself go, or because you had some major personality flaw (like you were abusive or unfaithful). If you're pretty sure it's 100% physical, then this will be much more likely to be successful. You just have to worry about resentment growing in your mind over it all.

[Asker]

I think my insecurities in my body played a major role in the breakup and working on myself physically and mentally will I think make him see the improvement and possibly want to get back together. I shouldn't have phrased it as revenge. That was the wrong word to use.

[BetaBucks]

Yeah, that's definitely possible. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out though. Especially considering that self improvement is never a bad thing, so you can't really lose.

[Asker]

That's true. Thanks.

[rosemilk]

i don't believe in that kind of revenge. revenge is bettering yourself for yourself. not for some dumb guy.

[PeachyPie93]

Guys don't usually care that much, if you want to lose weight and feel better it should be for yourself not some dumb ex lol.

[MicahRaine]

I think revenge bodies are very counterintuitive. Why wait until you get broken up with to improve your body?

[Asker]

I tried to do it while I was with him but I just lacked motivation. Now that I'm in a lot of pain, it's fueling me to be better physically.

[MicahRaine]

Hm okay

[electromagnetic]

imagine losing weight just cause your ex didn’t want you only to not want you 😆😆

[KittygosMeoWW]

Do it for yourself why as revenge bro 🤣 anytime someone hasn’t liked me it wasn’t because I was fat/skinny/ugly/ or pretty lol it was because I was a bitch

[Ladsin2]

So you’ll work out for random strangers as an act of revenge, but not for your spouse? It’s a strange concept to me, but hey whatever gets someone off their ass.

[LiamJHayden]

Seems silly to me. Getting helthy or helthier is fine, but why would a rational ex care if you had not done so while you were together?

[Asker]

I mean I guess that's true. I guess they wouldn't.

[RavVid]

I think you are doing it for yourself. It is your own revenge.

[Countrygirl777]

U n me both are thinking the same thing that how I am starve myself n shit like that

[Asker]

Definitely. I am in so much pain that I can't even think of eating right now.

[Anonymous]

I'm not trying to be cruel, but desperate. You should be attempting to get in shape for yourself, not to win your ex back.

[paledreams]

If it gets women off the couch and healthy in the monitoring of their doctor

[Nikki1989]

You should do things for you, not for any man.

[DextroShade]

It means she never respected her now ex enough in the first place to not be a fat slovenly piece of shit, but she will get hot for Chad.

[Staximus]

You should be doing it for yourself and your health, not for "revenge"

[getpucksin]

Most of time when a guy breaks up with you it's not because of your body, so it doesn't really work

[Anonymous]

Well my wife is 5 foot 5, and about 135. I see her body as incredibly hot

Statistically the average weight of women in the US is 150.

[Shy_Steve]

It's just another female term they have come up with.

[Anonymous]

I think anything that encourages girls to be hotter is only a good thing!

[MasterKS]

Thats quite popular nowadays, recently been with similar lady she also have almost same plan!

[Anonymous]

If you're still that same bitch despite your body change, that wouldn't really change anything.

[Dinklex3]

Whatever gets people motivated 🤷‍♀️

[Charliefretz329]

I think it’s not a Healthy response

[HelpfulWoman]

dumb.

[Danny_dan92]

Get it done