How long would you wait to break up with someone you lived and worked with?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriends sister has asked if she can stay with us as she is planning on breaking up with her boyfriend who she lives with and works with. This was a few weeks ago now... I'm happy to provide somewhere for her to stay while she sorts her situation out but I can't help but feel bad for the guy who I assume is none the wiser that she is planning the break up. I also find it odd that she feels the need to plan everything out before even having the conversation with him but they're still going to have to see each other at work...

Part of me is waiting for the "nevermind I changed my mind"

[snowboarder720]

This is exactly the reason why I don’t date coworkers. If things go sour it’ll be worse because you’ll still see each other at work.


Anyway, it sounds like she isn’t taking responsibility for her own actions. Instead of facing her own problems she’s using her bro (your boyfriend) to fall back on. What other mistakes will she make? How many other problems will she use you two to run away from? These are the questions that’s worth considering at first because if you say “yes, it’s fine” then she’ll just continue without any repercussions and then next time she asks she’ll just think “They didn’t have a problem caring for me the first time, why not the next?” and then you’ll be looking for excuses to just tell her no as you have no logical reason to refuse her.


This is where your boundaries come into play. Tell your boyfriend that she needs to accept responsibility for her relationship. That means she needs to figure out how to deal with her own relationship herself (like a responsible independent adult) and you feel uncomfortable her staying for a un agreed amount of time. Speak up for your feelings. You deserve respect and should feel heard. If your boyfriend respects you the way that he should he will understand what you are saying and act accordingly. You deserve say in this.


Hope this works out for the better!

[Asker]

She has decided to find her own place

[Anonymous]

She needs to stop being a coward and break up. Don’t ever string someone along don’t waste your own time and especially don’t waste theirs. They deserve to be able to move on and have closure if you’re in a relationship.

Break it off as soon as the decision is made.

[Anonymous]

a real adult would have already figured out and set up where to go next before breaking up. i'd stay out of this situation because i wouldn't want to deal with that.

[DishLady]

The longer you linger the worse it will be.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Ehh I guess we don't know exactly what's going on but I have a feeling she's making it a bigger situation than it needs to be.

[Anonymous]

oh no don't shit where you sleep if however it goes

[Yannae]

The moment I want to break up.