My husband is a pathological liar. Should I divorce him?

[lilac]

Three years ago, my husband told me he had a master’s degree and was working on a second one (we've been married for 11 months now). Recently, he claimed to have completed the degree, but when I asked for proof, he couldn't provide any. After investigating, I discovered he had lied about both degrees. When confronted, he continued to fabricate stories, showing no remorse and repeatedly trying to cover his lies. This isn’t the first time he’s lied; early in our relationship, he falsely claimed to be adopted, which he later backtracked on when confronted with evidence. His dishonesty extends beyond education and adoption; he also has a low sex drive and often rejects intimacy, sometimes gaslighting me when I express my needs.

Recently, I miscarried early in pregnancy and was devastated, hoping for comfort. Instead, he compared my grief to trivial arguments and showed little empathy. This pattern of deceit and emotional unavailability has shattered my trust in him. While I still see glimpses of the person I fell in love with, I’m beginning to realize that those moments might not reflect his true self. I’m conflicted because I enjoy being married and want to start a family, but I’m not sure if I can continue in a marriage where trust and emotional support are so lacking. I’m struggling with the idea of ending the marriage so soon, but I don’t want to be with someone I can’t trust.

[strateguy632]

Obviously not!

He can't possibly be a pathological liar or you would notice before the wedding!

So he lied a few times everybody does.

You think only men lie?

You remind me an episode in lois n clark when lois caught superman clark lying. She exploded "i can never trust you again". Wow! Then we see she lied to him but he doesn't know.

Finally he finds out and said "you said lying is so bad but you lied to me."

Lois answered "but you lied to ME"

AMAZING argument!

[RageBabe]

Although I think it's a decision only you can make, I don't want to ever advise someone to get a divorce. However, if you've tried everything, including counselling, and he still hasn't changed, then I think you might have to. "Obsessive-compulsive disorder, antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, and Munchausen syndrome" are among the mental illnesses linked to pathological liars. You are going through a lot, and I genuinely feel sorry for you. Best wishes.

[DishLady]

It’s a wonder you married a pathological liar…


Yes, if he’s not willing to correct the problem then you should consider divorce a viable option since being around a pathological liar is akin to standing in quicksand.

[Finchie40]

You are best to leave him and find yourself an honest respectful guy , he is clearly a pathological liar and it won’t get any better for you if you choose to stay , be grateful that you found out the truth sooner than later. So you are best to get out as soon as you can

[hannah]

When you needed him the most after your miscarriage, he wasn’t just distant; he was insensitive. You deserve a partner who offers empathy, especially during those hard times. Trust and openness are the foundation of a solid relationship, and it sounds like he’s falling short in both areas.

I get that you don’t want to end things so soon—letting go of the marriage dream and plans for a family is heartbreaking. But if he’s unwilling to own up to his lies and make real changes, you’ll be carrying all the emotional weight on your own. Maybe consider counseling for both of you, but don’t forget you deserve respect, honesty, and support above all else.

[mojito]

Wow, I’m honestly shocked reading this. The level of deception he’s shown—especially about something as big as his education and even his past—would have anyone questioning everything. And then, not being there for you during the miscarriage? That’s huge. Trust and empathy are the foundation of a relationship, and it sounds like he’s seriously lacking both. I get not wanting to end things so soon after getting married, but it sounds like you’re already carrying all the emotional weight. I’d say think about whether he’s capable of real change or if staying could mean more pain in the long run.

[BadApple69]

Consider raising a child with a man like this. Constant lies to your child about anything and everything…. How would your child feel when he/she realizes that daddy lies to he/she…. The child would feel hurt, confusion, anger….


Is this man the man you want to raise a child with?

[_Senorita_]

Listening to your i think that He has a Narcissistic personality disorder... They lie about everything they make everything is our fault... They r insecure of themselves... They can be treated but if they will to do so... The decision is yours... I hate them

[Anonymous]

after all of this and seeing these red flags before even marrying, what made you say "i do"? being in deep love isn't always enough... these things impact your future and the relationship. and you chose to turn your head and continue on with him.

if you truly don't want to divorce, get some marriage counseling. but i don't think this guy can change.

[benefiel]

Sounds like you're feeling torn, but trust and support are huge in a marriage. If he’s repeatedly lying and lacking empathy, that’s a big red flag. You deserve honesty and someone who’s there for you emotionally. Trust your gut—it’s better to be alone than feel alone with someone.

[JustinTheGreat]

Yes, id leave him.

i was once friends with someone who was a pathological liar and it was so exhausting. I had to cut him off. I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone like that

[ephemeralife]

I'm so sorry you've had miscarriage, what an awful experience to go through. It's awful that you're not receiving the love and trust you seek too.


Personally, I would leave, there is just big red flag after big red flag.


Considering his behaviour you mentioned - I would also seek professional help like a counselor in the lead up to leaving and aftermath (if you choose to leave) - you're going to need that safety net and support to navigate through it in a healthy way.

[lightbulb27]

Jesus… are you a saint?


Count your lucky stars ans run far. Once far away talk to a therapist and sort it all out so you stay away and pick better.

[strateguy632]

Clever reply. 👍

[lightbulb27]

@strategyguy632 Thank you sir! I get it right every now and then;-)

[on_my_knees]

I saw this on a TV show once.

He ended up taking all her money, then when the money ran out, he got about 5 insurance policies on her.

[Anonymous]

Get out before you get pregnant again. It's 2024. Nothing is making you stay with this man now you know how he really is.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you should've seen enough to not marry him in the first place. Indeed, bail as soon as you can. People like him do not change.

[DrPepper12]

LOTTA 🚩🚩🚩 There. I'd do a deeper dive to fund out who you really married.

[Staximus]

Sounds like you married a guy who you will never really know. Get a divorce.

[beefcakebradybatson]

I'd certainly mull it, since your husband's non-stop lies reveal an innate lack of character.

[Zoi1986]

Yes cause it could hurt you. My ex cheated gave me an std.

[WhitneySnow]

I would divorce him

[Anonymous]

No. But my real answer is yes.

[Ladsin2]

What were your wedding vows?

[Pterodon]

It won’t ever change so you have a decision

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 3 years? That's awesome.

[Anonymous]

Why did you marry him in the first place?

[supercutebutt]

It is time :)

[Jmmmfi4]

YIKES

[Anonymous]

Divorce him