Should I leave my husband who emotionally cheats on me?

[lindsay75]

I found out my husband is emotionally cheating on me, and it's been really painful. He's sharing deep, personal things with someone else, and I feel so betrayed. I've talked to my friends, and they're supportive, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do next.

[Purpleronnie]

It’s easy to think “yes” cheating of any sort is betrayal , but emotional cheating It’s really not as clear-cut in my opinion.
Sharing personal details , what’s his reasons? What kind of details? And about whom? For instance me confiding in a friend for an aspect of my relationship that I feel is causing conflict, the reason id be doing that is ultimately to improve my relationship ?


Sharing aspects of your relationship that he “should” know not to well that’s not quite the same. I think id need a little more detail , feel free to send me a direct message if you’d rather not share with “everyone”

[AviatorTom]

A group of random strangers on the Internet cannot, and should not, tell you what to do. That is totally your decision. We can give advice but we should have more details. What do you mean he emotionally cheats on you?

[lindsay75]

When I say he 'emotionally cheats,' I mean that he shares his deepest thoughts and feelings with another woman, often things he doesn't even share with me. For example, he texts her late into the night about his worries and dreams, and it feels like he's emotionally investing in her more than in me. It makes me feel excluded and like I'm not his primary emotional support. I’m not sure if I should be concerned or if I’m overreacting. How would you handle this situation? This person is his close friend but I'm his wife, so what to do?

[midnightmoon05]

You should invite her over for dinner.

[lmkimcurious]

See where you need to take responsibility in your relationship with him. Ask him how you can be there for him. Ask him what you can do to make him feel loved. Listen without judgment and don’t argue with or get offended by him. Validate his feelings. Show him you’re trying. Don’t ever yell or freak out. If you have an issue, take your time to think about it and calmly approach him about it.
People don’t just become emotionally attached for no reason. You need to learn how to be his safe space. Read men are from mars women are from Venus or maybe go talk to a marriage counselor.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

Have you talked to your husband about this? Why does he feel the need to talk about personal things with someone else instead of his wife? Have you ever said something to him, or reacted to something he said in the past, that would make him feel uncomfortable sharing things with you? There’s not enough information here.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of emotional infidelity can be heart-wrenching, and I'm here to throw you a life preserver. It sounds like your heart's GPS is asking for directions in the land of "Where Do We Go From Here?" The key here is communication and deciding what you're willing to accept and work through. Have you confronted him about how his behavior makes you feel? Sometimes, pulling out the map and showing our partners the route they're unknowingly taking us on can be an eye-opener. It's about digging deep, finding what's missing, and seeing if there's a path forward you can both walk on. Emotional infidelity can be a sign of underlying issues in the relationship or personal struggles. Before making any rash decisions, consider engaging in honest and open communication, possibly with the guidance of a professional. After all, every decision should be about finding your happiness, whether it's rejuvenating your relationship or setting sail on a solo voyage of self-discovery. Keep your compass handy! 🧭💔

[DishLady]

Probably something to sit down and talk over. WHY is he going to this other person? Are you not open to talking about a particular topic that he then has to repress and talk to someone else about?

[lindsay75]

I also believe that we need to have a conversation about why he feels the need to go to someone else for emotional support. I try to be open and supportive, but maybe there are some topics he feels uncomfortable discussing with me. It's important for us to understand each other's needs and feelings, so I think a heart-to-heart talk is necessary. I want to know if there are specific reasons he's not coming to me and if there's something I can do to make him feel more comfortable sharing his thoughts and feelings with me... So, thank you :)

[DishLady]

Well... if it was a therapist or professional you probably wouldn't think about this the same way, but consider how you talk to different people about different things.

Some gal pals you chat with about shopping, others about your school days, etc. etc. etc. No ONE person is 100% everything to another person 100% of the time.

Do you share 100% of what you share with your gal pals with your spouse?

Think long and hard first about whether or not he IS emotionally "cheating" or if you're just expecting him to talk to you and only you about everything for the rest of your lives (which is unrealistic).

For example... my boyfriend was an engineer. Having been surrounded by engineers all day for the greater part of my life (though I'm not an engineer myself), I can genuinely appreciate how excited they all get about cogs and parts and gadgets. Many of them come bouncing in, just as enthusiastic as a kid on Christmas morning, chattering on and on with me about the new toy/mech that's just arrived for them to test out. They KNOW that I'm happy for them, though perhaps not tech savvy enough to share their level of enthusiasm. They chat each other up for that while they're running tests, but they'll still come to me so I feel included in the excitement. I'll always smile and ask a few questions to show my appreciation... and they seem to appreciate that effort on my part. I often look up the terms so I can keep up and ask better questions... more focused. Some of the guys will laugh if I get the term wrong, but they know I mean well, you know?

[DishLady]

I guess you can say it was practice for my engineering boyfriend, who has been living and breathing cogs and gears since he could walk, this stuff is EVERYTHING, and I know that... To me, just seeing him so happy and animated about a new project or venture made me smile, but I'd only *really* understand about 10% of what he was saying when he talked shop. He knew that... and would slow down a little, cuddle, explain more for my benefit... which dampens his enthusiasm a little for the sake of increasing my appreciation, you know? Would I get upset when he talks shop with other people who get it? No, of course not. I knew he loved me... but engineering would always be his first and deeper love. I either had to roll with it or let the guy go...

I'm the same way with my research and will vanish for weeks at a time to geek out. When I resurfaced from my research I knew that he'd want to hear all about it -- he'd take me out for a nice dinner and ask the questions in the ballpark of what I'd been working on and I'd smile in appreciation of his effort to understand me, though we both knew my colleagues from the project understood the stuff way more intensely...

Why am I telling you this? Because... what we share with other people isn't always "cheating" just because it's deep... It's just the desire to want to understand and fill intellectual and emotional gaps... It's something that happens with all relationships, not just marital ones.

So perhaps this is just someone who he talks to about junk that he knows will bore you... stuff you don't fully understand. The more you let it bother you, the deeper the gap will become.

Just try to learn (1) what the topics are, (2) look the topics up a little so you're not oblivious to why he thinks or feels these topics are important, (3) don't INSIST that he ONLY share with you, but DO ask for him to share SOME of it with you so that you don't feel so isolated when something's important to him.

[kylee2437]

There’s not enough context to really suggest what the right move is here considering you never really expressed what kind of info he disclosed for you to feel this way.

[Finchie40]

He is still cheating whether emotional or physical it doesn’t matter , it’s still cheating , you are best to separate from him and focus on yourself

[PeachyPie93]

Try counselling. I wouldn't suggest anyone to rush into a divorce because once you are single, you are really single. Dating isn't what it used to be so if you two can work things out I suggest you try. As long as he isn't physically cheating I don't think emotional cheating is that big of a deal, since you can always get him back from that. You two need to open up to each other and communicate and work on things.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Let's dissect this:-

You have shared your intimate details with your husband, which is right. You should. Your husband though has betrayed you by sharing those details with another. Therefore, you can no longer trust him, and without trust there is no marriage, no relationship.

I don't see you have any choice, as there is no way you could ever trust him again.. You have to leave, or forever worry about what you share!

[BetaBucks]

Was any of it flirting, or was it all just deep conversation? I can understand divorce over flirting, but the deep conversation thing is very much a recoverable one. Assuming they aren't meeting up, or anything. You can talk to him about why he feels the need to share his personal business with another woman and you guys can figure out what needs to be done to resolve the situation. Like couples therapy or more intimate time together.

[BetaBucks]

Caveat is that it only reduces STD transmission for the female/cum recipient. It's written plain as day on CDC's site.

[Lynx122]

I don't know if that's cheating I feel like you should have friends outside of your relationship that you can talk to about things. Sometimes it's not a good time with your partner or you just need a different perspective. It depends on things but I think it's healthy to have multiple people to turn to.

[HawkPerception]

What deep emotional things is he sharing? If it's romantic feelings about the girl, then yeah go ahead and leave him. But if it's stuff he just feels uncomfortable sharing with you because you either don't agree with him or won't respond the way he wants, then it's not cheating. It's just using someone else as an outlet.

[Anonymous]

He's your husband and you want to quit? Draw him back in and ask him why he doesn't feel comfy sharing these things with you. Are you judgy? Unkind? Tell him to be honest (and do not react if he is) then work on that communication break. Marriage takes effort. This is either a speed bump or a dead end. Your choice.

[strangeatcircleK]

It's a tough line because,

There is such a thing as a pastors wife. With that in mind. how many emotional conversations do you think they have with church members.

I don't think that's wrong

I feel like the important part is time spent with you and the quality of time spent with you

[Anonymous]

What exactly are these deep personal things? Maybe things to do w you that you’re not open to listening to because you think he’s wrong about what he feels?

[Nikki1989]

The fact you have to ask this on here shows it is already over. Time to move on.

[FreyaRed]

You should carefully consider cons and pros of walking away from this guy. Emotional impulses aren't best advisers.

[ManInChains]

Married women who ask the internet whether or not she should stay or leave her husband for any reason shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place

[SweetDripp]

I guess it depends on what type of personal things and with whom he's sharing them.

[lindsay75]

He has been sharing some of his feelings and thoughts with another close female friend, confiding in her about things that he doesn't discuss with me. It seems like he is turning to her for emotional support and connection, which makes me feel excluded and concerned about our relationship.

[slatyb]

What does he say? Is he regretful? You could try couples counseling if he's willing. If he's not, then maybe it's just over.

[SweetJoyGirl]

“He's sharing deep, personal things with someone else”

Like what? We need more information.

[Peridot25]

We need more context. You said someone else, but weren’t specific if it was a man or a woman. What things did he say that would consider as emotional cheating?

[bowenw]

I suggest you consider counseling first. If that doesn't help it's probably time for you to move on.

[Anonymous]

That sucks. You feel like you're not enough? You two obviously never set boundaries. So you have stallion running free on the range. But what does that say about his sense? Your sense? End of the road, your to blame.

[Alex-Snow]

Life is short.. is this how you want to spend the rest of it? Go to counseling or maybe it is time to move on.

[Vegasrunner]

Lol, emotional cheating" that's a good one. Who is he telling these deep personal things to?

[jahaims]

Having a friend isn't emotionally cheating. Emotionally cheating is when they romantically or sexually bond without physical contact.

[Shy_Steve]

Trust me there are a lot of Women who have left there Husbands for less.

As far as I know, That's a pretty legitimate Reason.

[standardguy]

Perhaps your partner is in midlife crisis and he will return to you if you support him psychically.
Divorce in your age is not recommended.

[TonyMetal___86]

Talk to him and see if he deserves another chance, only if he will be loyal to you only!

[Queen2142]

What do you even mean? Emotionally cheat could you explain

[RedInnocent69]

No. Stop being a Karen. You can’t mind control people. Nothing has actually happened.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to calm the fuck down and stop being so reactionary.

[avery58]

Yeah, you should get rid of him

[DarkLegacy]

There is no such thing

[DrPepper12]

Is it a therapist? A friend? A threat to you?

[Bety23]

I hear you I would be upset too

[HelpfulWoman]

fucking duh

[Anonymous]

Yes!

[OhLongJohnsoning]

yeah

[youandi_]

Leave him.