Is it okay to leave my husband?

[Anonymous]

In beginning of relationship husband asked me if I deleted my ex's number. I said yes. hadn't spoken to ex inthe last months of our breakup. forgot his number was still saved. He went through my phone and saw his number. he was sure I was talking to him. he contacted him multiple times. Before marriage if I forgot to tell him I left for work right after leaving the door he'd call me and shoutwhy I'm hiding that I've left for work. his mom tauntsme when I come home late from work. I have to get his father's permission to visitmy parents. he checks my messages, contacts, Mails, Whatsapp, Messenger. Even if I leave my desk to go to the bathroom and didn't pick up phone he'd freak out. I'd to show him on video that there were no guys around. a guy sat next to me he found the footage of that event and told me"you are sitting with a guy."Today I left work 10 minutes early to bring my charger from my sister who came halfway to give it back to me. He called me and I didn't hear. I called back and said I'm out. He was sure I'm meeting my ex and my sister is helping. He came rushing down from home to the street and shouted Infront of so many people saying I'll see where your lover is. my work is right next door and all my students saw him. He told his family that I hide things. His parents asked why I couldn't tell him I'm going. He said disgusting things about my sister and her marriage. His mom and sister justifies"he's a little angry but he gets calm. His sister tells my mom"he is suspicious when my mom goes out and he twisted my hand many times. He's just angry."He's twisted my arm and I've been in pain for two months. He lied and told my parents that my ex told him we're still in touch. He lost his job and i've contributed to his family ever since married him in January. But he says I'm proud of money. i've left him but I keep thinking he's lost his job and needs money to go out sometime. He's broke. How do I let go of my empathy for him?

[Anonymous]

I cannot make decisions for you, but I can offer some insights. It's not okay for your husband to be controlling, manipulative, or abusive towards you. Your safety and well-being should always be a top priority in any relationship. The behaviors you describe, such as checking your messages, contacts, and whereabouts, accusing you of infidelity, and physically harming you, are all signs of an unhealthy and potentially dangerous relationship.

It's understandable that you may feel conflicted or empathetic towards your husband, especially if you have contributed financially to his family and are concerned about his well-being. However, it's important to prioritize your own safety and well-being, and to seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals if needed. Leaving an abusive or unhealthy relationship can be difficult and may require a lot of courage and support, but it's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity in your relationships. It may be helpful to seek out counseling or therapy to help you work through your emotions and develop a plan for moving forward. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to support you.

[Jdjfjcjj]

There's two parts to this post. One where you mention that youve been supporting him and his family. This alone would drive many women to divorce.

As for the first part detailing his suspicions, controlling and eventually him getting physical. As you've presented it, then yes I'd say it would be another reason for you too.

Now, I have to ask, as for the suspicions and controlling nature. I'm going to assume that he wasn't always like this else I would question why you married in first place. So something changed. You either did something big to cause the behavioral change, or a lot of small things that has painted a certain picture, or he has lost all confidence he once had and is the trying to hold on to you at all costs

[Asker]

It was always on in little intensity. He'd peak at my phone if I'm looking at it doing something. Asked me who is it. Saw my friendlist and contact and asked by every name about who they were. And among those he once found the number of my ex. He said that's where his insecurities started but not true. He'd be mad if I didn't tell him when I woke up in morning or if I didn't tell him because I was in hurry that I've left for office. But I wasn't acquainted with abuse before I thought if we start living together he'd see that I'm loyal and honest. But no he commented on how I'm wearing too much lipstick after getting married. He'd be mad if I felt like startint to wear jeans or new sort or dress because I never wore those dresses for him while dating. He says my new workplace has made me very posh and I'm trying to fit in and I'll end up cheating on him with colleagues.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Just to be clear though, you didn't forget to delete your ex's number. That was added to your post to illicit sympathy.
Had I'd if been told, "I forgot", I'd assume you don't even respect respect me enough to at least come up with a half decent lie 🤥

[Anonymous]

Run away from him. He sounds psycho. Shouldn't be the number on the phone, but the rest is just an abusive insecure person that will only get worse. I've seen abuse. RUN. No looking back. Go to stay at your sister and get a order of protection.

[Asker]

He tells everyone I'm unfaithful and that's what made him psycho. But today I left and got my parents to come fetch me as my in-laws would manipulate me into staying. I accepted my fault with the number and he forgot about it. But dayby day only keeps bringing it up. Even today he told me he saw my ex Infront of my university which was a total lie. I'm too busy too talk to other guys. That's not who I am anyway. But he says my not wanting to tell him my every movement is suspicious and drives him crazy.

[Asker]

Do people like him ever lose their insecurities and trust their partners?

[Opinion Owner]

My dad did the same thing to my mom, constantly accused her of looking at other guys and being with them. He eventually locked her and us in the house while he was at work. He put things on the doors to know if someone opened it while he was gone. He put recorders on the phone line. I'm telling you i know about this. GET OUT. get away from him.

[nudetru]

Every one should who is married at least a few hours dayly.. guess not every thing can be classified as common knowledge.

[JamesDiaz11]

You're not telling us the entire story.

[Asker]

Oh I didn't realize that. My bad.

[JamesDiaz11]

You're just venting of how horrible this guy is without telling us why he's become that way, why you married him, if you cheated, etc. Because this doesn't even sound realistic.

[Asker]

Okay.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Get a divorce ASAP.

[ProteinBro]

You move on. Plane and simple.