My husband takes me for granted?

[Anonymous]

we are married for 18mnths now...from sometime whatever I tell of suggest or opine he doesn't listen..or if he listens he gets pissed off and tells "i am losing my credibility"..the same thing his friend suggested and he becomes a hero for suggesting it..what about me?i did suggest the same thing and lost my credibility? this happened a 3-4 times.Once he got pissed off at me for suggesting something..30 min later his friend is telling the exact same words..and he like "this is the best idea.why didn't I think of it?"...first I kept quiet and but after some 3-4 incidents I got pissed off..what the hell..when I pointed this out to him he started off you always create a problem..blah blah blah!

one more thing his 1st wife is laptop,2nd wife is TV, and 3rd and most important of all is his I phone..he is always on iphone..watching YouTube..if I have to speak one sentence I have to shout it out 3 times to get his attention..every time...many times I keep quiet..sometimes I also snap..i don't have the patience to tell everything 3 times...when I got out this topic he is like I am watching videos..how ill I listen to you..you have to shout out to get my attention and then I will speak..i can't keep asking him to stop watching every time I need to speak to him..and on that if his video is in an interesting phase..he gets irritated that I interrupted in that moment...

i get scared to talk to him anymore...either I am losing credibility when I am speaking or I am disturbing his addiction to gadgets...

what to do? how do I solve this? I am just taken for granted..she is my wife..she will be fallen at home at my feet no matter what...

He himself told this "if I was his girlfriend then he will have the insecurity that she will leave him so he will be careful and now that I am his wife I will be here with him so its okay"

what the hell? I am sick and tired...i just want to disappear...

[leftylove2000]

I felt this way for 2 years, hon. It doesn't get better. When you feel ignored, you feel insignificant and you'll begin to get attention from other men. If telling him how you feel when he's ignoring you isn't working, it's time to re-evaluate what you want out of this marriage. You deserve someone's time and attention. You don't make memories with TV's, Ipods, and YouTube. You make memories with loved ones. These actions led to my filing for divorce in July. I am a wonderful person who wants a man to want to spend time with me. I'm not clingy and don't need to know what he's doing 24/7 but I do need a man (especially my husband) to pay attention to me when I'm speaking...enough to look up from the device to give a moment of his time.

Sit down and really think about if this is what you want to live with forever. If it's not, you need to get out now, cut your losses, and move on. If you truly want to work it out, he needs to know how his ignoring you makes you FEEL. Begin your sentences with..."I feel ________ when I'm not being heard." Never say "You make me feel." They need to know how you're feeling whether they were the cause of your feeling or not.

Good luck. This is not an easy place to be.

[aly-marie]

Seems like you married the wrong guy, he obviously feels no need to put any effort into your relationship anymore. Drop him, he needs a reality check.

[AustinMan]

You need a marriage counselor, hopefully a really good one. John Gray wrote in Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus that the most important thing in the world to a man is to be appreciated and the most important thing in the world to a woman is to be heard. While I feel like he's a complete pig, when he does do the right thing, do you express your appreciation? I doubt it. If you can bring yourself to, you might start to see a change but it's gonna take a pro, maybe two if you count the divorce lawyer, to help sort this out.

[Asker]

i appreciate him every opportunity I get..even for small things like reaching out something which is at a height..and I also tell him something and let him take the decision most of the times so that to show him that he is Alpha...sometimes I feel the more importance I am giving him the more importance I am loosing...

[AustinMan]

It might be useful on a number of fronts to record surreptitiously his behavior. Video would be best. Don't use it with the counselor immediately but when he starts denying and not telling the truth, set him up and drop the hammer. Be ready to run if need be but it's gonna take a huge shock to knock him off his high horse.

[3336PS]

ahhahaha, I have the same...we are sisters. :)