Long story short: my boyfriend cheated. I always suspected something with the new girl , he gaslight me, making me question my own sanity. Couldn't sleep properly for almost two month's. I saw my relationship breaking and couldn't do anything. I still can't except it. I'm feeling like my whole world crushed in these two months. What should I do?
Well the first thing is that you’re out of denial if you haven’t broken the relationship off it needs to be done immediately. Just understand that the person who did this is at best a narcissist and at worst is a psychopath.
They do not build relationships like normal people do, they do not feel genuine remorse, guilt, etc. They may feel embarrassed they got caught and worry about what other people think of them. But he does not care how you feel especially if he was gaslighting you. You probably knew something was going on as you said but he also made sure there was plausible deniability.
People who are horrible like this believe that if you’re too stupid to catch on to what he’s doing, if you’re too foolish to believe his lies, and if you’re too weak and pathetic to stand up for yourself you deserve it. The truth is you didn’t deserve it you have a heart and he does not you projected yourself onto him, he did the same thing to you. Many of these people think they need to cheat and use you before you can do the same to them.
How you’re feeling is normal just remember there is so much more to life then him. Don’t allow him to turn you into the monster that hurt you, so many people do this. They just get hurt so they just think they need to be that way too to survive in this world. There is someone deserving of your love and to share your life with. At least you learned young about these kinds of people some don’t learn until much later in life.
If you need therapy get it, allow yourself to grieve that could be if you feel like crying let it out, if you feel angry express it, and the list goes on those feelings are normal. It’s crushing to have someone that you loved and you thought you knew who they were turn around and do something so horrible to you.
Also consider taking up some new hobbies even if you don’t feel like doing much don’t allow yourself to wither away. Sometimes you just need to say I’m getting up and doing this, this, this, and that.
I have been there and that is pretty rough what helped me is going crazy with sex and having sex with as many people as possible which was fun and helped me get over it a little bit because it also felt like i was getting revenge on them. The other thing that really helped me was to concentrate on the little things that i really used to enjoy doing ever since i was a kid and trying to find joy again in them. Another thing is to see how jealousy destroyed my life and everyone around me including family and friends and i promised to never be a jealous person again. Another thing that helped me was realizing what that person did even though them cheating on me really hurt me and almost destroyed me is they did it because it made them happy not that hurting you made them happy but being with another person they really liked or just having sex with another person made them really happy and it was important for them and it had nothing to do with you. Its about them and they are just trying to take care of themselves and be happy just like we are all trying to do in this crazy world… i know it still hurts but give it sometime sweetheart and i promise you it will be a lot better and they might regret leaving you because you will be the bigger person and be super star and be truly happy because you will have the confidence that you dont need anyone to bring you happiness because you love yourself so much that you are ok being alone or with someone else that will keep you company through this crazy adventure known as life! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Give yourself all the love that you wanted him to give. Take yourself to get something good to eat. Go get a massage... get your hair or nails done.
Write in a journal about your feelings. And be honest with yourself.
Forgive yourself for anything that you have done against yourself. And just start making YOU your first priority.
Your physical health, your mental health, and your emotional and spiritual health should be number one.
Therapy helps too...
You can't get over untill you forget everything i am taking almost 8 Months still feels the same !!
Sh*t happened with my marriage he is a narcissistic person
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You have to try to focus on yourself as much as possible , I know it sounds easier said than done , but understand you weren’t the one that cheated , He did, so to help keep your mind off of things , focus on things that you enjoy , hang out with friends’ more , get into a hobby that you are interested in , start dating other guys’ without rushing into anything , find a FWB’s and bury your ex as much as you can , do things that you use to do before you got into a relationship with him , understand you are now single and can do whatever you want to do , with no strings attached
Solution: Break up and learn from this.
Coping: Hang out with people who care about you & love you whole heartedly not half-assed. Talk about your feelings, listen to music, take time away from dating, and get peace of mind. Do a hobby that makes you happy or start a new one.
Be thankful that this mistake ended so, now your heart is free from its shackles and can find its true love not that slob.
I've seen some comments telling you to focus on your hobbies and i defenitly agree. I don't have any original suggestions, but i want to add that if he was gaslighting you, you're far better off without him. A toxic relationship is in my opinion a lot worse than no relationship.
Time. Focus on your hobbies or hang out with your friends instead of doing nothing but focus on the broken heart and how it was broken. I should know because I don't have a heart anymore all I do is focus on my hobbies and since my hobby is writing I have a book being published and the next one in the works
Sorry 🫤 that sucks.
Honestly, I don't really know. For me, it took 6+ months of going out and meeting strangers and playing sports with them and just talking about it with a good friend I had at the time over and over again.
Heartbreak sucks, especially when it's because they cheated/left for someone else.
As long as you live in the past you can't grow. That is unhealthy. How do you let go? Every person is different. For me the first step is to decide to change. You are the only person that can change you. The decision to live moving forward is yours to make. Good luck.
Your story self contradicted.
You couldn't sleep kuz he made you, " question my own sanity", when a guy like that dumps you , you should be relieved. Dump him first. Nobody would "miss' such a jerk.
u I have not been through that before... but I would probably just keep myself extra busy, and then just focus on all the other people in my life, as well as myself
I always fall back on the realization that a breakup is just a divorce caught in plenty of time.
Thats a good way to look at it! Lol
My heart broke when I saw this poll result. GAG members are very interesting 😀😀😂😂
Election poll ! Who do you think should be president? ? ↗
How about taking part in this poll?
You find the mf that broke it and rip his out to replace yours.
Unfortunately it takes time and being around prime who love you for who you are without hesitation or expectation. I've been where you are and it sucks, but it does get better
Recognize that a cheater is a garbage person and you will eventually be relieved to be free of him so that you can find someone who treats you right.
You should focus more on yourself and what you want to do without involving anyone else. Otherwise you would just feel nothing without anyone with you. And *hugs* Goodluck
It takes a lot of time to heal away from it but you should spend some time on your own
Time will heal you. Force yourself to get out and do things and spend time with friends.
Why would you care about something that wasn't real. You were dumb and got tricked. All the feelings you had were based on him playing pretend.
time, self-care, distracting yourself with hobbies and exercise.
and if that doesn't work: counseling
Give it time there will be someone who comes along when you least expect it
Stay positive things will get better
Maybe time will erase it. Maybe you'll find someone else.
@hippio Stop thinking about it,
First control your thoughts
Hang out some with some good friends, and a threesome with ben and Jerry. And some movies Help me.
Best way over someone is to get under someone.
Hair of the dog.
You meet someone better.
Best way is to try and find someone new
3 parts time and 1 part screwing up.
Not sure trying to do that myself.
If I could actually like super glue I would
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