Am I wrong for refusing to sign the birth certificate of my ex wife's baby until we have a DNA test?

[Anonymous]

Here is the story. My ex wife, is my ex, because i caught her cheating repeatedly with both my best friend and her boss, I have video footage of it, recorded phone calls, emails, text messages, the works. Before i left her, she became pregnant. I dont know if its mine or someone else's. Obviously if it is mine i will sign the certificate and file for full custody, sorry a cheater is not a good parent to a child. they set a bad example. she's pissed at me that i want the test. That i refuse to sign unless the test says im the father.

Am i wrong here?

Updates

7 mo

the DNA test came back negative, that i am 0% the father. In my state, if the mother knows who the father is, Which she does, He can be made to sign the Birth certificate, Additionally Any child support i would have given would be refunded. In any case im off the hook. And the divorce is proceeding as it should. Additionally the judge agrees with me. She gets no Child support, and because this is an at fault state, she gets no spousal support.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn man, that's rough situation to be in. I can understand why you wouldn't wanna sign anything without getting that DNA test done first. I mean, your ex-wife straight up cheated on you multiple times! With your best friend AND her boss? That's so messed up. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her after finding out about all that.

You gotta do right by yourself here and make sure the kid is actually yours before tying yourself down legally as the dad. Your ex is probably just mad cause she knows the test might not come back in her favor. She's trying to pressure you into signing without getting the answers you need, but don't let her manipulate you like that. You have every right to want proof before agreeing to anything.

If the kid does end up being yours after the test, then for sure you should go for full custody. No kid should have to grow up around a mom that would cheat so badly on their spouse. She's clearly not someone who makes good choices or sets a good example. At least with you the kid would be in a stable home with someone they can trust.

Anyway man, don't let your ex stress you out too much over this. You're doing the right thing getting that DNA test to clear things up one way or another. Just stay firm on waiting for those results before signing anything. Hang in there - this whole situation really sucks but at least you’re being smart about handling it the right way.

[AviatorTom]

You are not wrong, but there are some things to consider.

If you don't sign, will the child (who may be yours) be considered a bastard, with no definitive father. It's unlikely that your ex-wife's lovers would ever admit to fathering the child.

Since you were married at the time, the law may consider you the father regardless of the results of a DNA test, whether a test happens or not.

I've never been in that situation, but if I was, I think I'd sign the birth certificate, and consider the child as mine, playing a role in its support and development. That would be best for the child.

[SixFootSexy]

Don't be a cuck. This is TERRIBLE advice.

[AviatorTom]

@SixFootSexy What is terrible about it? Would you rather the child be abandoned?

[Asker]

Im going to add this to an update, But the DNA test came back negative, that i am 0% the father. In my state, if the mother knows who the father is, Which she does, He can be made to sign the Birth certificate, Additionally Any child support i would have given would be refunded. In any case im off the hook. And the divorce is proceeding as it should. Additionally the judge agrees with me. She gets no Child support, and because this is an at fault state, she gets no spousal support. Im so happy to be done with her, and her cheating whore ass.

[SixFootSexy]

Women should be punished for infidelity that results in a child other than her husband's. It is worse than embezzlement (using funds and home to cuck a husband) it's a betrayal of the marriage and a husband's right to paternity, so it should be up there on the list close to murder in terms of severity. Adopting a child who is clearly not his would be generous, sure. But it also rewards her for betrayal, which is why it's terrible advice. How many kids who aren't his should he adopt from a cheating wife?

Being a bastard doesn't really matter too much in today's society, however the data suggests generally worse outcomes for kids without fathers. Ultimately it's unfortunate her child has to pay the price for her infidelity.

[worldscolide]

It's a form of fraud and should be treated as such

[AviatorTom]

I respect others' opinions, but in my mind, caring for the child is most important, not punishing the woman for her infidelity.

[AviatorTom]

You know the part in typical wedding vows "for better or for worse", this is a "worse" event that both partners agreed to.

[worldscolide]

Lmao, at no point in the Bible, nor the vows does it say a man should bindly tolerate infidelity. And real men do not tolerate that kind of thing, ever.

[worldscolide]

I fact in the Bible it suggests death for unfaithful spouses.

[AviatorTom]

@worldscolide I never said tolerate it, I said take care of the child.

[worldscolide]

And yet her affair partner is known and in his state that makes him off the hook. Sorry but I don't believe a man should be a slave to another woman for a child that is not his. It's fraud at best, evil and just wrong at worst.

[razelove]

You'd be wrong to not insist on the test. Would it be more right to have a kid you pay for and never want to be close to because you never can trust that it's yours?

I'd kind of get the logic if it was a 12 year old or something and your name was already on paper, like fuck, little late for that, and you aren't going to forget they exist or the memories you have. Neither would a judge let you off the support even if it wasn't biologically yours.

As it stands though that kid isn't in your life, and has no bond to you if it isn't yours. She probably doesn't know who the dad is, and wants you to sign because no one else will.

[noohair]

Not at all. I had the County order a test for me. It was before DNA. It was a blood markes test. A score over 90% put you on the hook. I got Zero, paternity excluded.

[worldscolide]

Nah you're not wrong. Id do the same if my wife cheated and got pregnant.

[Staximus]

You are not wrong, it could be the other guy's kid

[Anonymous]

this is why body count matters! the past isn't just the past

[LiamJHayden]

Never sign till you are sure the baby is yours.

[SweetJoyGirl]

You are most definitely not wrong.

[SweetJoyGirl]

@ update
Congrats to you! 💜

[jojouzumaki]

You’re doing the right thing.

[jojouzumaki]

Congratumotherfuckinlations 🍾. You deserve better partner and I truly I hope in time you find happiness.

And I apologize that this happened to you.

[Anonymous]

DEFINITELY get the test.

[DrPepper12]

You are 💯 right. Test before signature

[Ladsin2]

Smart