Can a guy regret leaving a girl for waiting for sex until marriage?

[Sweetascandy1990]

I developed feelings pretty fast for a guy who treated me really great. The best any guy has treated. I was also really kind, sweet, and caring to him. Yet, I'm not sure if he was just nice for the sex since he left coldly. We dated for a month, but broke up with me via text that he couldn't pursue us anymore because he needed sex in a relationship and didn't want to wait until marriage even though he liked me a lot. He reached out one time 3 days after the breakup text to see if I changed my mind of not waiting.

I should have been more upfront to not get too emotionally invested. I was there for him during his eye surgery. I helped him get back home when no one was there. The way he left me continues to hurt me. I wish I had a conversation over this over the phone. I didn't get enough closure. He left very coldly. I hear all these stories of men coming back. I guess because of my lack of closure and my heartbreak I have hope he can come back and be okay with waiting since he is also a Christian and claims to be a God-fearing man. I know we are not compatible in this, but I guess I keep hoping. Is it still possible for him to come back? I know it is wrong to keep holding onto hope and not move on, but I really miss him 😔 I have been a virgin for 34 years and it's really important to remain a virgin until marriage due to my Christian values and beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Did he flat put say that's why he left or are you assuming that's why he left.

The short answer your question is, "yes, he can come back". But the question is also if this truly the reason why, should you really even want him to come back?

I see both sides of this issue. No guy wants to be the chump who's with a woman not having sex with him saying she's saving herself for marriage all the while she's giving it up to a dozen other guys on the low low. I'm not saying that is the case here but a guy has no way of knowing that.

But back to my previous point. Sex should not be your main selling point. If it is he did you a favor by leaving.

[Sweetascandy1990]

Yes, he was direct and said it through text. I understand that guys can be skeptical of virgin women because of how many women have deceived. Yes, I agree sex is not only what women can offer. I have worked on myself and gone to therapy due to past trauma. I always give it my all in relationships and love deeply and fiercely loyal. I stay true to my traditional values and my faith. I am sweet and kind to a fault despite everything I've been through. A bit naive too so I want to continue working on that.

Thank you for your male perspective 🙏🏽

[Opinion Owner]

I understand. But try to remember for every one of you there are yen women who are the opposite of this. So odds are a guys has met more of them than of you.
This doesn't change the fact that you need to protect yourself and choose wisely. Dating is a 💩 show. One I've decided it's just best not to do. I know I can depend on myself and that's good enough for me.
I wish you luck.👍

[Opinion Owner]

Ten* not yen.

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thank you again for your advice... yes will protect myself and choose wisely 👍🏼

[DJB72]

Not as much as you would regret compromising your faith.

This is not the best place to get Godly advice. Frankly I'm here because it's addictive, not edifying!

[Sweetascandy1990]

Yes, I agree that I would regret compromising my beliefs. Thank you 🙂

[DJB72]

I let myself down in two relationships before I got married. The only regret I have, despite 52 years of some truly spectacular fuck ups, is not being able to tell my wife she's the only one I've ever been with.

Stay strong 🙂

[Sweetascandy1990]

Aww that is very sweet. I'm glad you value your wife. I only want to share that special with my future husband and be obedient to God. I've had many opportunities to loose my virginity and almost murdered as a domestic violence survivor. I've been cheated on as well. I've blamed myself, but I know God has protected me from further damage. I saw potential on this last guy and hoped he would be patient, but I will keep being strong like you said. Thank you so much for your encouragement and not judging my values🤍

[DJB72]

The right guy won't pressure you. And I share your values.
💛

[melnc]

Holding onto hope when he left so coldly might prevent you from moving on and finding someone who truly values you. You deserve closure and someone who aligns with your beliefs. It’s tough, but focusing on your own healing might be the best path forward.
Sorry for what happened but it's time to move on.

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thank you I will try to move forward 🙏🏽

[DreamCrescent]

he’s not going to come back, girlie. and I’m sorry he was so abrupt about it, depriving you of your closure. but he couldn’t have been any more straight-forward and transparent about the topic.
no, he’s not willing to commit long-term. he’s said all the things that would seem to entice you like he’s a christian and god-fearing, you didn’t take the bait, so he’s out. dangled back 3 days later to double check if you’re open to having sex with him or are you true to your values


you like him a lot more than he likes you. it’s painful now but you’re better off. you stay true to your morals while he just agrees with them hoping to get closer to you


i hope you find some peace and forget him soon

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thank you I will try to find peace to move forward 🙏🏽

[Christianmale2024]

38 year old virgin, other older virgin men too. Finding a male virgin is a lot more rare nowadays, but you had your answer when he said he needed sex. You're a precious daughter of God, and he swooned you, made you feel special, and he then went for what he wanted and that was sex. Then withdrew to try to make you think about all you're losing.

In which you lost nothing, because he never was in it for you. If he did he would honor you and respect you until marriage. When she's worth it, you'll wait, because you know in the end you'll get to do those things anyway when married. If he would do this over sex now, just imagine how it would be over anything else he wanted if you did give that up.

A truly God fearing man, will honor you in a way you never can imagine. One who makes you question your faith/values/morals isn't the one. I know it's hard but thank God you were revealed this early on.

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thank you for wise words. Yes I keep thinking about him because of the kindness he showed me. I wanted to do things right and give a Christian man a chance since in the past I chose ungodly men hoping they would change. I was vulnerable from past relational trauma. He was different from other guys I dated... a Christian man from what I thought he was. He would even read Bible scriptures. He advertises himself as Godly man on online dating... that is where I found him. It makes me sad that he only wanted sex because my intentions were pure. I want to love and honor God in every aspect of my life so I am happy God helps me be strong and I stay true to my Christian beliefs, values, and morals despite my heartbreak and strong feelings for him. I only wished him them the best but unfortunately it wasn't enough. I will keep waiting for God's timing and praying he heals my broken heart. Thank you so much for your great advice 🙏🏽 I really needed to hear this and not feel alone in my Christian journey 🙂

[Christianmale2024]

You're very much welcome. You're getting closer to the right one. He will most likely be somewhere closer than you expect and appear when you're least expecting him. When you think of him, maybe pray his eyes will be opened to the desires of his flesh. He is probably having a sexual struggle right now, and in his eyes he is justifying his actions. You don't want involved with this. Men & women can try to be both a Christian and a fleshly man/woman through certain seasons. Reading/knowing your Holy Bible, attending church doesn't mean your heart is where it should be. My prayers changed a lot this year and I feel I finally pray how I should have been praying for a wife. Things like to have covenant eyes for only my wife.

A little insight into what you deserve. When he walks with you, he'll walk on the side of the road he'd be the one getting hit if a car came, when he walks with you, he doesn't walk behind you looking at your body, but instead beside you, when he talks with you his eyes are fully focused on your eyes. Not wandering about. He'll start off each meeting with a prayer and end each one with a prayer. He'll open and close doors for you, etc. Go bodly to the Lord and ask that that the right one will enter, and all the things you desire in a marriage will be given unto you. He may not be rich though, but he'll be true; the Lord will bring you someone who loves you for you and if you ask, also a virgin, which I would advise to ask for. I've been praying for a woman that is fully a virgin. Remember you're a precious gem.

Who knows your husband may have social anxiety like me. You'll be brought someone who will edify you & vice versa in glorifying God. Stay strong and be lifted up my sister! Ever have a question feel free to ask or message or however things here work most the time. Just don't be discouraged! Have faith, pray hard for that husband. Trust me, us men need our future wives praying hard for us too. I assure you he's out there praying for you! :)

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thank you again for your helpful feedback and advice. God bless you 🙏🏽

[Abdulwahh]

I myself for religious reasons try to stay away such things it is very hard, maybe he will come back if he really likes you did you offer him a blow job?

[Sweetascandy1990]

He said he really liked me when he dumped me through text, but couldn't do the no sex thing. No, I didn't offer him anything sexual because it is against my Christian beliefs. He said he was God-fearing, so I guess he wasn't. Even if he liked me I think he values sex more. His actions let me know he is looking for a more sexual relationship then being serious relationship for a marriage with emotional connection being the priority.

[Abdulwahh]

That is perhaps his weakness pray for him that he gains control over his carnal desires its only human but needs to be controlled, can be a pain in the ass to control many a times it takes strong determination.

[Sweetascandy1990]

Yeah, I will pray for him. I agree it is not an easy thing to do. Not even for me, but I guess God gives me strength and discipline in this area. Thank you for your advice. I guess if it's meant to be he will one day come back. I am praying that to God to do the best things in my life and I know He knows who is best for me. Thank you again for your time in responding and helpful feedback 🙏🏽✨️

[Abdulwahh]

My pleasure but you never know that might be an other guy from your area or respective church that is good for you.

[jahaims]

Obviously that's possible. Stupid question

[In_Trance]

Nope