He broke up with me is he right?

[Anonymous]

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and I really love him, so much that I want to put everything aside for him. Two months ago, my friend asked me to join her for her bachelorette party in Lake Como. I asked him if it was okay, and he said yes. Exactly one week before the trip, he said he didn’t want me to go and that if I did, he would break up with me. I promised him that I wouldn’t go.

Just when I was about to cancel, he said it was just a test to see if I really cared about him, and that he would let me go after all. A week went by, and on the day I was supposed to leave, we met up. During our meeting, he started a discussion about something I did that he didn’t like. He hates it when I wear lip gloss because he finds it too noticeable, and he doesn’t like it since he’s quite conservative.

Because of that discussion, he said he didn’t feel good about me going and wanted to give me the option to cancel with my friends six hours before my flight, or else he would break up with me. I told him that I couldn’t break my promise to my friends just six hours before leaving, so I felt obligated to go. In the end, I went on the trip.

Now, he has blocked and removed me everywhere, saying that what I did is unforgivable. What do you think about this?

[Finchie40]

I think you dodged yourself a bullet , and he did you a favor , he sounds like a manipulative control freak and be thankful he is no longer dating you. so do yourself a favor and move on from that insecure control freak. He would have made your life a living hell. It’s things like this that people should discuss before jumping into a relationship with each other because clearly there was no trust between you both , the fact that you were invited to a bachelorette party made him feel insecure and jealous and he wasn’t able to trust you. his insecurities made him assume you were going to do something wrong and like most guys’ think and assume You will cheat on him etc.. Girls’ think this way as well , when her boyfriend goes away on a guys’ trip or a bachelor party etc. so he clearly didn’t trust you whatsoever , and sadly it’s the way this world is today , with social media fucking our heads up , trust is not easy for a lot of people to do anymore. The only way a relationship will work these days, is if both people choose each other and make each other their top priority over everyone else in this world. , over their friends , over their family etc. A relationship will only work if both people are on the same exact page as things , basically learning to remove selfishness for each other and resisting temptations for each other. So if he was cheated on before , he is going to have a hard time trusting period. Why a lot of relationships do not make it today , because the trust and respect that a relationship needs to survive has been damaged. I have dated girls’ that had a hard time trusting me anytime I would do something that didn’t involve them , she would get jealous and insecure, if I went away with friends , thinking I was going to cheat on her , but when it came down to her going away? How dare I feel worried or jealous or insecure that she isn’t going to cheat on me? So sadly it turns into a double standard , which double standards do not work in relationships period. So your ex should of discussed this with you before entering a relationship with you period , why it’s important to set boundaries with each other and follow those boundaries together , if you both want your relationship to survive and for love to grow between you both. So understand you did nothing wrong , you told him immediately that you were invited to a party and right then and there he told you not to go , which is fine , and you decided not to go , but he needs to realize next time he is invited to go somewhere without you , he needs to no go either. Or he is causing a double standard. What you don’t want your partner doing to you, needs to be the same boundaries for you as well. Most people sadly don’t this for each other and they wonder why they keep failing on relationships. Without trust and respect for each other , you have nothing

[Anonymous]

You dodged a bullet on that one. Move on. Adults shouldn’t be playing games, this isn’t Hasbro. I think he was trying to get out of this relationship w out looking like the bad guy in it. So he put that all on you. He probably thought you wouldn’t give in as far as saying ok I won’t go on this trip if you don’t want me to. He was hoping you would start an argument w him, giving him a reason to breakup but it backfired. So now he found another reason to breakup which is a ridiculous thing to help over after he said he was ok w you going. He has mental issues.

[Asker]

I really feel guilty by going like i threw away my whole future for a 3 day trip

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t feel guilty. He has some issues he needs to work out.

[Anonymous]

You're lucky. He'd have tried to control you for the rest of your life and is clearly immature and mentally unstable to be playing dumb games like this and changing his mind twice like that. He sounds like the type who will have you locked up at home 24/7 and not allowed to have any contact with the outside world because he can't control you otherwise. You dodged a bullet!

[AviatorTom]

I think you are better off without him. He's insecure and thrives on controlling you. That's not good for a meaningful relationship.

Move on, put him in the past (where he belongs) and find someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[Lurix]

Bro, you definitely made the right call by going on that trip. It sounds like your boyfriend was playing some serious mind games with you. The whole "test" thing? Total manipulation tactic. 🚩 He was trying to control you, and that's not what a healthy relationship looks like.


Blocking you over going on a trip with friends is a huge overreaction. If he can't handle you having your own life and interests, then he's not worth your time. You deserve someone who supports you, not someone who puts you through emotional rollercoasters. You did nothing wrong; it’s all on him. Move on and find someone who respects you for who you are.

[boggboss]

Why are u letting this clown manipulate u lol he is being controlling and seeing how much he can bend you to his will wake up

[lightbulb27]

he's just PMSing...

kidding. That is not good or right of him. You don't need that level of stress in your life with someone that's playing games and confusing. What the real issue is, who knows.

is he right... no.

[spartan55]

Man, fuck that guy. Is that how you want to be treated the rest of your life? Lip gloss? Really? What a fuckhead.

[Ariesman81]

Sounds to me he was struggling between setting boundaries and not wanting to sound controlling. Wishy washy... yes. Ultimately... he wanted you to make the right choice for the relationship. Which you didn't.

[noohair]

It is always painful to learn the truth that your boyfriend is a controlling asshole. But do you want to live your life subjugated to his will? I think not. You are lucky in my view. He is not worth your time. Move on, and the best of luck to you.

[DryGermanGuy]

I hope I never encounter such a controlling, whiny douchebag. Ugh!

[Nirmroth]

you're better off now, that sounded all very toxic and controlling.

[DrPepper12]

Good riddance. Tests? Cutting you off from friends? Increasing stress, anxiety and trust issues? Fuck him. You deserve MUCH BETTER!!

[StevenMcGarrett]

He is in the wrong. Good riddance. Get a new boyfriend that doesn't play games with you and try to control you.

[exitseven]

He sounds like a psycho. He will not get better so you are better off.

[Drumlin2001]

He's too controlling. He'll crawl back at some point, don't let him. Find someone better.

[LiamJHayden]

You are better off without the control freak. It might not seem like it now, but once you meet someone decent you will realize it.

[Noodle_fan]

U dodged a bullet , just ignore him and move on

[Staximus]

I think this guy is an idiot control freak who is playing stupid games with you.

[EmreXxX]

You deserve better, don t mind, if you are sad about all this you will be sad but this will pass, don t mind.

[MasterKS]

Its good for you otherwise that asshole mess with your life!