Is actually living well the best way to defeat any ex narcissist.. the best revenge ever?

[Anonymous]

I've heard they can't stand when we succeed and get the last laughter in the end. I once thought about hurting him back when I was hurting. I've realized it's not worth it.

Living well and being happy did the job for me. While my main life goals have been accomplished, he has nothing. I was actually thinking of writing my own novel about how he got defeated in the end. He may have won the initial battles when he was hurting me and wasting my years of my time but he lost the war in the end.

Updates

4 mo

I'm putting it under this category because I'm tired of bots answering under relationships.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I wouldn’t write a book about him, that just shows you’re still thinking about him which is what he wants anyway. Narcissists want the people around them to think about them as frequently as they think about themselves, even those they have bad histories with. If you do end up writing a book, I would minimize his role, or at the very least anonymize him and make him a bit part of your memoir.

[Asker]

I was thinking of writing a book about myself, memorable elements of good things, other hardships I had in life, my achievement and very little about him; kinda of like a very brief synopsis of how to defeat a narcissist as help towards anyone else that had undergone that too.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Well, good luck to you

[chilldude33]

✅ Wanting to win every interaction and come out on top at the end.
✅ Putting others down. ("He has nothing.")
✅ Centered around own needs. ("He was hurting ME. What's the best way to hurt HIM?")
✅ Self-grandiosity. (Wanting to write an epic autobiography about defeating epic life challenges and proving all the enemies wrong.)


The "narcissist ex" might be in the room with us right now...

[Asker]

It's not about defeating every single enemy but rather succeeding in life and getting up after you've tripped. My life had its own hardships too. The narcissist ex would just be a small part of my story. I didn't put him down. I'm just stating a fact. If it's true that's not putting down. Putting down would be like he used to tell me ''You'll never find another man as great as me''. That's a classic narcissistic line. I never told anyone that.

[Jersey2]

No, it’s not. You are still focused on them. You need to forget about them and move on. Again, forget about them, it’s over and you need to continue your life unabated.

[Asker]

It's not really focusing on him but rather a very small part of my story. After all if I want to do a novel about myself, I have to include the great part and also the hardships too. Though the good parts will cover most of the novel and the negative aspect only like a small 5% of it.

[Jersey2]

Novels are fictional so perhaps an autobiography is what you are aiming for with this book. I was never big on ‘Schadenfreude” but perhaps that is not what you meant.

[Agape93]

Personally I think the best revenge is killing their own self perception. A narc spiral is breathtaking

[Asker]

I suppose living well and happy without him, being married and now being 3 weeks pregnant killed his self perception completely. So life itself did the job for me.

[Agape93]

Nah not really, to kill their self perception you need to know HOW they perceive themselves. For example with my ex, if I got married and had kids, he wouldn't care, because he got validation through fear and inflicting suffering. That's how he made himself feel like a man, and he'd feed into this to the point of delusion. See what I mean?

[strateguy632]

No, but it is the only real revenge , for you but don't tell her.

[Asker]

It's interesting how life and time itself did the job for me.

[Fireguy17]

getting along just fine without them is the best payback for an spouce/SO that you had a bad breakup with.

[Asker]

My life has been better without him. No one in my family nor friend want him either.

[Fireguy17]

then you know you made the right decision.

[Plugs]

Am really happy for u

[Asker]

Thank you