Is it okay to remain friends with someone your best friend broke up with if it was a terrible break-up?

[Anonymous]

[Summeroflove]

It really depends but I would say some people are better going their separate ways especially if someone cheated. If someone will cheat on someone they (at least claim) to love so much imagine what they will do to you as just a friend.

It depends on the totality of the circumstances. The people involved, the details of the situation, and the list goes on. Sometimes people have to be civil with one another when it comes to kids, divorce, etc. But that doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of time together either

[Finchie40]

Not really, you are better off standing by your friends’ side and understanding you would of never met their ex and became friends , if it wasn’t for your friend to begin with , you don’t have to be enemies with your friends’ ex , but you shouldn’t invest much of your time into their ex period , mainly out of respect for your friend. A good friend would not do that to their friend period. Your friend will more than likely lose respect for you if you choose to stay friends’ with their ex. You are best to tell the ex that you are sorry for what happened between them but you are going to stand by her side and sorry it’s best we don’t really talk anymore. I’m sorry but it is what it is

[Xoxocutekitty]

Best friend - no. Why would you want someone in your life that can't vibe with your tribe? It's more likely it'll strain your existing friendship, and why put yourself in that situation over someone who hasn't been there for you?

Loose friend, sure. If its a loose friend they're probably not confiding in you about the mutual friend much, so the risk of them getting their feelings hurt is much lower.

[abbyjgriffin98]

Honestly, I think it's a bad idea. You don't have to be mean to them. Like, if you see him/her in the street, you can wave and say hi. But constantly hanging out with him/her is pretty messed up. To put this into perspective, would you like it if your best friend kept hanging out with your ex who broke your heart?

[AviatorTom]

Of course. You're entitled to have your own friends.

[blueonblack22]

No that’s a very bad idea. You can be friendly with that person but NOT friends unless you want to cause drama with your best friend.

I swear women really struggle with understanding the difference between friendly vs. a real friend. Women are always worried preoccupied about “bonding” with people.

Being friendly is a respectful way to handle someone you shouldn’t really associate with. You both know it’s a bad idea to hang out yet you don’t hate each other. You still respect each other.

[razelove]

Sure, though it's a telling sign that your "best friend" isn't really shit to you if you're going to get closer to their ex. My cousin made the same argument about my ex-wife, they were friends, and our relationship didn't affect that.

That was almost two decades ago now, on principal I can't trust him, and don't want him in my life.

[RingOfFire]

Wait... still working on this...

Friends

With your best friend's

Former boyfriend's/girlfriend's

Friend

Who's married to your ex?

[AmeerX]

Actually it's complicated because I was friends with one and right off stopped being friends with the other girl who broke up and married another guy.

The first case wasn't as serious but second seemed like insult to my friend of the deepest level.

[MrPiercedD]

Friends are for life. Especially best friends. I'll always value and trust them more than their ex partners. If they don't speak any longer with their ex partner then I do believe that it is good reason for that. Still being friends with your friends ex partner says that you value and trust them more than your best friend.

I can't imagine to be a friend with someone who I can't trust.

If you have doubts about that, it means that friendship means nothing to you.

[molonski2]

I think it's certainly possible , but it could have some difficulty, depending how close you are to this friend and why this messy breakup occurred? I have done this with friends who were once married.

[DanTheMan010]

I think this all depends on context. Let the tv show friends be an example , almost everyone has dated everyone in that friend group and some of the break ups were bad yet they still had such an intimate intertwined lives that they all remind friends one way or another. I think it’s about how convenient it is to leave or stay in each others lives

[Asker]

In my situation we were all friends high school through present day. They started dating late in high school, but now the break-up between them was nasty (not violent or anything) but she won't even let me bring him up in conversation. He's a nice person obviously, we've been friends forever, but when we have gatherings and stuff, she's made it clear, she has no intention of ever seeing him again which makes it super awkward. And just to be clear, he JUST a friend, but it sucks because we can't all hang out anymore and I don't want to hurt my best friend if she's so offended by him now.

[ProbablyClueless]

No, honestly. I don't think any person with a healthy sense of boundaries would feel comfortable maintaining a connection like that.

So much so, that a great follow up question is why on Earth you'd even want to.

[Purpleronnie]

Never an easy decision in many cases but following the basic rules of what a friendship is it “should” be straight forward but if you can’t be objective then at least be loyal.

[On_cloud_wine]

Eh I regret cutting off my friends ex boyfriend’s friends because they broke up, so no. You be friends with whoever the hell you want

[SuchSightsToShowYou]

Your best friend will assume that you're attracted to the person she broke up with.

It's probably a bad idea, but maybe worth it, depending on how strong your feelings for this other person are.

[slatyb]

It depends on their behavior. If they were cruel or unethical, I would be inclined to end the friendship.

[DrPepper12]

That's between you and your friend but if that friend hates their ex it's going to be difficult. Just be honest with them and then you might have to choose

[Flower7]

No, you should stay loyal to your best friend.

[exitseven]

Yes, unless your best friend has a big problem with it.

[Lokiion]

I mean yes technically however I’m not friends with anyone my friends don’t like or I at least attempt to not be

[MK1997]

That's weird

[Lokiion]

@MK1997 why would you remain friends with your best friends ex you can’t give a single valid reason

[MK1997]

Maybe they were friends before that.

[Lokiion]

@MK1997 ok fair that’s completely different I was under the impression that they became friends after she started dating him in this case it’s completely different if this is the case than it’s perfectly fine to remain friends with them

[Yannae]

It's okay, it's just that with the break up things might het awkward.

[DtMe89]

My mom and dad aren't friends with their ex's. Married 39+

[nawtee_me]

Your friend broke up with them, not you…. Unless you break up with them too….

[subwayperson]

Yes it is okay don't ruin you friendship

[Aimée__LJ]

Depends how they feel about it

[MicahRaine]

It depends what made it a "terrible" breakup.

[Jennz6]

Just move on, but be polite

[WhitneySnow]

No..

[jahaims]

In most contexts no

[David5668]

Why not?

[LiamJHayden]

I would not.

[In_Trance]

What's the point?

[khyaab]

yes that’s fine