Often it is just more honest to break up.. thoughts?

[molonski2]

I have a friend ( female ) that I have known for a very long time , she has always been reasonably logical , but she is infatuated with this guy from Italy , who quite obviously has many other relationships and is not coming back , for if he were its just because he knows she is infatuated , and free sex , rather than grab someone new.

Its ridiculous , this guy has not been here for years. None of my business sure , but its horrendous seeing someone live a fantasy that is just never going to happen. Often its more honest to simply end it.

To be honest is important..

Updates

4 mo

Some people are just that separated from reality , they see purely what they want to see.
Sometimes you need to be honest with yourself , its not doing this person any good.

[Summeroflove]

You can tell someone the brutal truth but they are the ones who have to accept it in the end. You cannot force someone to be or do anything no matter how hard you try.

If that’s what she chooses to do that’s on her at that point.

[molonski2]

Yes , thats exactly why I or others have not said what we actually think , plus for 2 years of this time she was ill , and I'm not sure if that affected things.. You can lead a horse to water. And really , it would seem self centred if I were too honest.

[RichA322]

It's easier to fool people, than to convince them they have been fooled.

Your female friend wants to believe it, so you will never be able to convince her otherwise regardless of what you do.

You should just completely stop caring. You won't convince her that the guy is just using her. She wants to live in her fantasy and nobody will be able to wake her up.

[molonski2]

Yes good advice I think..

[PrincessC16]

I do think you can convince her otherwise because she needs to know that it's not healthy for her. So if she's really your friend tell her what you think. A lot of women don't understand how guys think. Just when I think I do something new roles around. Please bring it to her attention.

[PrincessC16]

Yes, what your friend is doing is experiencing something called Limerence. But you got to admit that guys don't close doors to girls. If they leave they never close that door and be like I'm not ever going to be able to see you again. They always want that door open. This is one reason a person can experience Limerance.

[molonski2]

Yes , that summary is spot on.
And I damit of myself , I used to have to have a closed or open door , now I never close the door , although nor would I do as this guy has , which is just false hope , he has numerous girlfriends , good looking dude , but its all a fizarzey.

[PrincessC16]

Then he's just being a player and is driven by the sexual attention of women
It's probably his focus in life.

[molonski2]

That's true , there is partly another element , she became ill - life threatening , and he would say he was supportive , which is true.
But worst thing he could do now is come back..
It's been 2 years now.

[Anonymous]

Usually, this is more common with males.

[molonski2]

Hmm , not that I have seen , he's a good look dude , but he's not real.. just holiday boyfriend , from some years ago , but stayed here a while.