Do you think breaking up on good terms is harder?

[khdancer]

Me and my ex dated until the day before he left for college, we knew we were going to break up but we kept things going, we were still very much so attached to each other and liked each other as much as we always had.Do you think in a way that is harder to deal with and get over it?

[josh-in-the-box]

i agree with spending time apart to heal.

good break ups are harder than bad break ups.

well. the good break up that your describing anyways.

the one you are talking about you both have thoughts of each other still and how it can still work so you wonder why it isn't and you think it could work if you were together so you don't let go or look at other people and if the other does then you get hurt because you thought something could have happened and you think they are ruining the relationship you two could have possibly had even though you both agreed to be apart.

[Atomizer]

I think that breaking up "on good terms" means that there was no huge fight or issues like drugs or cheating.

But "good terms" doesn't mean you need to talk to them regularly.

After a breakup, I think it's best to avoid talking to one another for a while, whether in person, phone or internet. You both need time to heal.

[khdancer]

I guess for me it seems that is harder because knowing we still had the same feelings for each other but couldn't be together sucks.

[Atomizer]

I think a good breakup might be worse, in some ways. When a breakup's bad, you can get angry at the other person for a while and deal with your pain that way. But in a good breakup, you can't get mad at them quite the same way...

[khdancer]

Yea, I agree and it just plain sucks.

[Jeanette]

YES.they are much harder. Mainly because they take longer. I've had the bad break up, and it HURTS.but the situation I'm in now is KILLING me. I still love him more than anything and he still loves me, but my jealousy and insecurity ruined it. We still work together and he's still really nice to me, so SEEING him and having him be nice and knowing he loves me is keeping me hanging on when normally by now (3 months) I'd be healing a lot faster.

It's always harder, but if you still care about the person and want them in your life, it may be worth it!

[melissarose8585]

I think so. Breaking up on good terms like this usually means there are still feelings there, which means you still care so much more than you would have if he cheated on you/someone lost their feelings for the other/etc. There isn't the same type of pain and anger motivating you to get over the relationship; instead, you're missing the person because nothing was really wrong with the relationship, just circumstances that required you two to part.

[khdancer]

Yea and see us breaking up for college was probablly a smart idea just because he wasnt coming hom much etc logically it is right, but emotionally it sucks

[Kickrockslosers]

I think it's harder because one person always wants more, wants it to last and hurts longer. The other person wants the relationship, but knows they can keep you around and have future opportunities to come back if it ends on good terms.

I hope you guys get back together after college if the distance is the only issue or you can transfer if he is serious and sincere about his feelings and attachment.

[khdancer]

I wish we would get back together also! I think he was scared of what would happen scared of things hurting worse later , if we continued to date and we started fighting it would be harder or if we continued dating we would both be miserable not seeing each other, and also he was scared that I was going to find someone else. I really think this all had a big effect on it also his friend that was a year older than us told him people stayed in their rooms and wouldn't go out if they had gfs

[l-hedoniste]

No. Bad breakups are MUCH harder. And at least you can go out for coffee one day.

[kelleyk125]

if you still care for each other then a little bit of distance should not keep you apart.