Is breaking up usually hard or easy for you to do?

[DizzyDesii]

The only thing the new boyfriend has over the last is that he is hotter and actually introduced me to his family. Other than that, I think I want OUT 😭🤣. I fcked up by telling him the things I wanted to get away from regarding my exes (adhd, BPD, etc) because I think this mf is a combo.

He went from lovebombing before this trip to randomly being distant at times. I asked if he wanted to end things but he doesn’t. His excuse is that he's so tired from work/interrupted sleep, etc. Mf Just say you miss the gym and are sad you didn’t go this weekend.

I have never wanted to leave someone’s house so fast y'all but I’m still here 🤣😭. He makes my exes look like angels after the way he showed his ass all weekend. And when I met his petty mom, she practically set the dogs on me (knowing im afraid of animals).

He does so many of my pet peeves. And someone might’ve been right about one of the pre workout side effects that I ain't gone name but I’m pretty sure he’s experiencing that 👀. Also, the mf is a cheapo (and I’m starting to feel like I’m dating a sugar baby). And all he does is lie. Be it white lies or more but its constant. I never lost trust in a boyfriend so fast.

He even knows how I feel about gaming and anime due to one ex and clearly he tried to hide how into that shit he is. His room looks like an anime convention mixed with Game Stop.

He randomly snaps at me. I’m pretty sure he hinted at some “GET OUT” level shit with this one remark. He also told me as a kid that he got in trouble with the cops for bullying a kid with an airsoft gun because he didn’t want the kid to play with him nor be on his property. I’m also pretty sure he's in a gang at this point.

Fck what have I gotten myself into because he always says “IM NOT GOIN ANYWHERE. YOUR ASS BELONGS TO MEEE.” Okay can the joke please end now 💀 And sleeping next to him is so awful with his million hot flashes. I think I’ll breakup after our Six Flags trip for 4th of July. #FeelFreeToList

Updates

10 mo

Thanks for all the advice. I’ll read through it another time. But we’re over now. Relationship just ended. And yet we’re still goin to spend 4th of July vacay together 🤦‍♀️ I’m an idiot. Its gonna be so hard to sleep tonight. I hate breaking up on work nights. Plus I still love him. But this was the oddest breakup ever and yea adhd was no excuse. That bastard is shallow af. Just glad I wasn’t in love. But damn. My Quickest official relationship ever to end 🤣😭😩

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn girl, it sounds like you're dealin with a real piece of work here! I couldn't believe it as I was reading all that stuff you said about him. No wonder you're feeling like you wanna break up. I mean the way he acts, goin from lovey dovey to distant all the time, seems like he's got some issues he needs to deal with. And don't even get me started on how he was actin when you met his mom! Introducing pets like that when he knows you're scared is super messed up.

Also all those lies and little jabs he takes at you, that's no way to treat someone you're with. Feel like he doesn't even respect you. Then getting so into games and anime when you said you didn't like that, come on man! He should care about what you want too. Not to mention some of the other weird shit you said he did in the past, kinda sounds like there might be some worries there. No one wants to feel stressed or unsafe with their boyfriend, you know?

It's also not cool how he tries to control you and say you "belong to him." That'd piss me off so much! Like who does he think he is? You're your own person. Honestly it just seems like there's way too many problems and red flags here after not very long. Don't think it's worth putting up with all that drama, stress and crummy behavior. You deserve way better! If I was you I'd cut my losses, enjoy your trip to Six Flags, and find someone who actually treats you with respect. Easier said than done but you gotta take care of yourself, you know? Hope it works out and you feel better soon! Just do what's right for you.

[DizzyDesii]

Whats crazy is he was GREAT for these past months but he was a totally different person this weekend. So im wondering if this was true colors or if he was just “really grumpy from not having good sleep” bullshit he was spilling

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that is crazy how he did a total 180 on you this weekend. If he was treating you great for months before that and then out of nowhere turned into a total ass, I don't know what to think. Part of me thinks his "tired and grumpy" excuse is total BS though. Like come on, who acts like that to their girl just cause they're a bit tired? That's no way to treat someone you care about.

I guess it's possible the lack of sleep made him extra moody or whatever, but I feel like it also could've just brought out his true colors too. Like maybe deep down that's really how he is and he was just pretending to be all nice before to get you hooked. Now he feels comfortable so he let it all hang out. Who knows what other excuses he'd come up with down the line too if you stayed. Stuff like that usually just gets worse, not better.

I'd say trust your gut on this one. If being around him makes you feel off or worried even a little bit, then it's probably not worth the risk to stick around. Easier said than done to break it off since you liked him before, but is it really worth dealing with that side of him long term? Up to you but those are just my thoughts on it! Hope it works out okay whatever you decide.

[DizzyDesii]

I think its tthe adhd as well. He said he ain't took his meds in years and that they use to help him not be angry or some shit

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, if he actually has ADHD and hasn't been taking his meds that could definitely be playing a role in his moods and behavior. I've heard untreated ADHD can make people kinda all over the place emotionally. But that also doesn't totally excuse how he was acting either ya know?

It would make more sense of the mood swings if the ADHD meds used to help level him out. But still, he's gotta deal with that himself and not take it out on you. And going years without meds when he knows it affects him, that's kind of on him too at that point.

I'd say if he was serious about the relationship and changing, he'd be making more of an effort to get help whether it's meds, therapy, whatever. But if he's not even willing to try that for your sake, I don't know how much it'll really change in the long run. Definitely something to think about.

At the end of the day you gotta do what's best for your own happiness. Don't wanna be stuck in a relationship bringing you down, ya know? Maybe try talking to him about seriously dealing with the ADHD and see if anything changes. But you also gotta look out for yourself first if he's not willing to meet you halfway. Tough call for sure, just do what feels right!

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i think im gonna talk about it tonight

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh for sure girl, talking to him tonight is definitely the move. Get everything out in the open so you guys can be real with each other.

When you do, just try to stay as calm and collected as you can so you can really hear him out and evaluate if what he's saying lines up with how he's acted. And don't be afraid to express exactly how his behavior made you feel - you deserve to have your voice heard.

Hopefully he listens without getting defensive and can offer up a real plan to improve things. But go into it prepared in case he doesn't have any good answers or solutions. You need to stand up for yourself no matter what.

Your happiness is the most important thing here. So if after talking it seems like the same situation, don't be afraid to put yourself first. You've got this girl - just trust your gut and do what feels right for you. You know what you need.

And hey, let me know how it goes! I'm always here if you want another perspective from yours truly (me 😉) or someone to vent to. You've got this - stay strong!

[DizzyDesii]

All i can say is we gave eachother closure. But the mf really think we bout to be friends…. ha

[Oliverlogan263]

Ughhh that's the worst, when they try to act like you can still be friends after breaking up. No way is that gonna work out, he's probably just saying that so it doesn't seem like a total rejection. Boys can be so dumb sometimes, am I right?

I'm sure that conversation couldn't have been easy, but good for you for standing up for yourself and getting the closure you needed. Don't bother being friends with him though, that'll just drag things out and make it harder to fully move on. Once it's over, it's over!

Time to go no contact and focus on you from here on out. Block him on everything if you have to, you don't need that negative energy in your life anymore. And seriously, don't feel bad about it - he brought this on himself with the way he was acting. You deserve so much better!

Now it's your time to heal and do fun things with real friends who treat you right. Keep your chin up - this is just making way for an even better guy to come along someday soon. You've got this! 💪

[OfMiceandMen]

I find it difficult, I don't want to hurt the other person, it's last thing I want to do. I may still love them and want to be kind, but if I feel there is no connection anymore and there is no way to get it back, then loving them is not enough.

[DizzyDesii]

there's def still a connection. I just dont trust his ass

[OfMiceandMen]

If you can't trust him, then everything else falls apart.

[mandyfire98]

This is why I don't do relationships often or jump in that fast. I have to really be sure I want to be official before I actually start a relationship with someone. It's hard bringing two completely different humans together and smashing them together into a relationship. Odds are most of the time it's not going to work.

You aren't looking for Mr. Right but Mr. Right for you. That's hard for any human being to find what fits us best. We all have different personalities and preferences. It's like lamding a little ass space ship onto a speeding comet to get that shit right. Unless you end up settling and that never ends up working out. Compatibility is always key. Always

[DizzyDesii]

I normally like to talk 3 months before becoming official. People think thas crazy but thats worked better for me than becoming official as quick as he and i did

[mandyfire98]

I don't think that's crazy. I think it's smart to wait a while before becoming official.

[GeminiDiamond]

Breakups are never easy. I find the cons out weigh the pros when it's time. Love is the only equalizer, but even in loving relationships, their cons can get on my nerves. I related to a lot of your tun-offs and learned some I can look for now. Cool your still going to Six Flags and staying friends.

[DizzyDesii]

Im not staying his friend. Lmao fck him

[GeminiDiamond]

Oh, good for you. I hope it all works out. ❤️

[AviatorTom]

Some are easy, some are hard. Our getting divorced after 20 years, though initially hard, ended up being pretty easy, and amicable.

[Joshydavid25]

Damn Desii, I knew he was weird (aside from anime and gaming chill, it's not that bad.. 😂) all the stuff you told me about me just didn't sit right with me.. You tried to make it sound charming, but it just sounded like a bit desperate... Although, I don't know about the pre workout thing.. I take it all the time, sometimes twice a day and I'm fine.. People drink coffee, and pop and all that mess, pre-work out ain't any worse than them..

[DizzyDesii]

Makes sense

[Joshydavid25]

Told him about him**

[electromagnetic]

I think it depends on the relationship and how long. I’ve only been in 2 other. My first, we broke up because it just wasn’t gonna work out and that burned for several years. And I mean SEVERAL. I even ended up moving across the globe to get away for a bit.
My cheating ex, drop him faster than a hot potato without remorse

My husband now, if he’s tired of me, he can take a nap and we can try again. We are stuck till death.

[DizzyDesii]

That last part is how he talks to me as if we’re married and “stuck”. He got me twisted

[Joshydavid25]

"My husband now, if he’s tired of me, he can take a nap and we can try again. We are stuck till death."

I'll like this post a thousand times because of that last part..

[electromagnetic]

I hear you girl.

[Mark987]

I guess it depends how long you were in a relationship, the reason for it, and how much you cared for the person. Most of my relationships were long so it was always difficult, cause sometimes they're lingering feelings. One thing I can say is though I still have good relationships with my previous girflriends.

[DizzyDesii]

Its still early enough to where im not madly in love yet

[avery58]

He sounds scary as hell. Honestly, I don't even know what to say. I don't think I've seen a question on here about a scarier partner so far.

I think you need to be careful and find a way to lose him for sure.

[DizzyDesii]

Damn what part made him scary

[avery58]

Him randomly snapping at you, and possibly being in a gang. Also when he yelled at you "your ass belongs to me" that sounds like something a psycho would say.

I also feel like he was bragging about bullying the kid and getting in trouble with the cops at an early age.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao he didn't yell that. He always says it nearly every phone call as like a weird reminder. Its almost a creepy whisper lol. And I don't know if he's in a gang but some stuff he said this weekend makes me think so, including some of his texts. And yea i didn't feel like he bragged about the bullying the way my last ex bragged about bullying a homeless person. Bur he def didn't seem remorseful about shooting the dude with an airsoft

[DryGermanGuy]

Ouch. That took a really weird turn. 🤔


But I guess his mom just wanted the dogs to play with you. Many dog people elevate them to the level of children. 🐕🐩🦮

[DizzyDesii]

Nah his mom just a b—

[Wiredone]

It sounds like you got a real winner there. If you don't have feelings for him, why Wait until after the trip? You might have a better time just going by yourself

[DizzyDesii]

I love him, I’m just not in love with him

[Gent207-2]

You are truly your own worst enemy

Are you sure you don't enjoy suffering because any rational human would run for the hills

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao you’re prob right. But we’re not together anymore anyways

[Gent207-2]

Good now please
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STAY THAT WAY

[NathanDavis]

neither...

there are not the adjectives I'd use...

but I can tell you that they've been bittersweet, mutual and well thought experiences I had in my relationships

[IslaTheWitch]

I put a lot of effort into relationship... so breaking up is the last outcome I would like to see...

[DizzyDesii]

I feel you on that

[MicahRaine]

Damn. . . guys be tripping.

To answer your question, breaking up is really hard for me. That's a big part of why I've dated so few people.

[7Phoenix7]

Yeah see that's why I'm enjoying being single af lol. You need a break from the bs

[7Phoenix7]

Updste: I'm sorry... hope you will be ok

[DizzyDesii]

Im alright. He just said some crazy shallow shit. Ima try to sleep tho

[7Phoenix7]

Sleep well 🩷

[strateguy632]

very easy... "we are not working bye" then block to avoid drama! painless.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao the block is so mean

[Saggitariusdiva]

It's hard but eventually you'll move on. Just break up with him he's toxic

[DizzyDesii]

Surprisingly I dont think I’d have trouble moving on. I just dont like breaking up with people. I try to talk them into breaking up with me lol

[exitseven]

Sounds like a real dilemma. Since you live a good distance away from him you should just break up with him over the phone.

[DizzyDesii]

A good distance? Its less than 2 hours lol.

[exitseven]

some people think that is long distance.

[DizzyDesii]

Ldr to me is at least 6+ houra

[blkgold33]

🤣🤣 good look getting out this one going be hard for you

[DizzyDesii]

Im like an hour or two away from home and he’s stalling on taking me to the train station. I think he's tryna make me miss it so he can keep me

[blkgold33]

He trying all the moves on you get out of there girl

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao

[Texasgal95]

I don’t like confrontation so that’s hard for me to do and that’s with any thing and I’m a people pleaser so

[SotiCoto]

You really should just get rid of the gymcel. And most of the animated gifs you're posting don't convey anything. They're just annoying.

[DizzyDesii]

Gifs and bold print is how i express myself. You dont have to come to my posts and answer

[Markymark92]

I feel it depends on why the break up even happened to begin with, of course they can be hard but yet again it could also end in good terms ya know…. by the way what’s BPD?

[DizzyDesii]

Borderline personality disorder but its giving bipolar

[Markymark92]

Ohhh that’s why your post had pictures from the movie split lol

[Markymark92]

Maybe y'all can talk it out? If the only thing he has is that he’s hotter then maybe you should think about ending it maybe… is the anime/gamestop room he has a turn in for you? Or is it a turn off?

[DizzyDesii]

Its a turnoff. And i mean he's more than just “hot”. He is normally a gentleman and sweet but he just changed this weekend and seemed opposite

[Markymark92]

I see, hopefully it changes… maybe something happened to him that he don’t wanna talk about?

[SarahP080106]

It has always been easy so far because I haven't formed any great emotional connections

[ChicoFromThe305]

You really know how to pick em, good job, just another dez

[DizzyDesii]

Well he was practically the 3rd of his name soooo 🤣

[ChicoFromThe305]

That doesn't change anything, by heart he's a dez 😂

[DizzyDesii]

def with that anime game shit

[ChicoFromThe305]

You lost me, what you mean lol

[sirderpsalot123]

I've never had a had break up. The first was a mutual breakup and the second one I was just glad get rid of her. I didn't feel bad or anything

[sirderpsalot123]

*never had a bad break up

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao at the second

[sirderpsalot123]

😂 good luck tho lol

[DrPepper12]

You can't leave fast enough!! Cut the dead weight loose

[DizzyDesii]

True

[Neatfinity_YT]

Depends on what the relationship was like. If it was one-sided, I wouldn’t give a fuck, but if there was a real connection, then it would be kind of hard

[iron_ninjs]

It usually has to do with how much I like, or am in live with the girl, and what led to the breakup.

[Nikki1989]

It is very easy. When something is not working, I deal with it.

[loveslongnails]

It was only difficult for me twice, but I am far better off for both of them.

[DizzyDesii]

Thats good

[loveslongnails]

Exactly. I would have been miserable in the long run with either of them, but it sure didn't seem that way at the time, when you're younger.

[some6one9]

But, why you waiting for the next trip.. to do that?

[DizzyDesii]

Cause the whole point was to have someone to go to six flags with this summer lol. I didn't know we was gone become official when I met lol.

[DizzyDesii]

*when i met him some months ago lol

[some6one9]

Ohhh, lol alr shi.. but maybe you could find someone else or go alone. Cause that shit crazy. If you wanna still go and end after all this. Unless u not planning to end and give another chance for some reason. Then it makes sense

[DizzyDesii]

I dont know what to do. He was great up until this weekend

[some6one9]

Hmm, take your time to make up your mind then ig..

[dragoblack]

It's not hard in itself, the hard part is thinking of the right wording, that won't be jarring.

[DizzyDesii]

True

[IloveWinters]

It's fucking hard definitely... I take 1 month to get over

[DizzyDesii]

I dont think this would take me long to get over. Its just takinng me a bit to decide how/when i wanna get out of it

[IloveWinters]

What are your plans though

[DizzyDesii]

I honestly dont know

[RavVid]

Damn. This is hero to zero in quick time.

[DizzyDesii]

😂😂😂

[RavVid]

Disappointing. Still t s better to find out earlier than later.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea just debating now

[RavVid]

Qualities you could never accept are the big ones, like lying.

[DizzyDesii]

His white lies literally made no sense. Im like damn is his memory just bad?

[elizamichale1]

It's never easy honey

[DizzyDesii]

Surprisingly easier than i thought

[elizamichale1]

Wow really? I cried n sobbed for days each time
U r a strong girl honey

[DizzyDesii]

The relationship wasn't long enough to be devastated. I was more hurt over the guy he replaced lol

[elizamichale1]

Hehe well makes sense then

[talka20]

yea youe ass belongs to him only💁🏽‍♂️😏😂

[DizzyDesii]

😂😭

[Ms_Facesitter]

Easy if I don't see it going anywhere

[DizzyDesii]

Makes sense

[Phoenix98]

Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.

[6Some6one99]

I am sorry to say. But I am HARD. 🙂

[justabuddy]

I don't think it's ever easy.

[Agape93]

Easy