Still Conflicted After a Toxic Relationship. Was I Right to End It?

[Anonymous]

As of now - my ex-girlfriend and I were together for six months. She broke up with her boyfriend for me and waited three months to be with me while sorting things out with her ex, but they still lived together. About two weeks into dating, I found out she was pregnant with her ex’s child (we were already having sex, but used protection). She decided to have an abortion and told her ex she’d miscarried.

A month into our relationship, during a conversation with her ex about their relationship, she ended up sleeping with him. She told me, and at first, I didn’t want her back. Over time, I forgave her, thinking the abortion had clouded her judgment and that she might still be emotionally attached to him. Fast forward, we were happy for about five months afterward, living together, but things started going downhill.

Throughout our relationship, she’d occasionally mention another guy—Robert—whom she’d wanted to leave her ex for. She talked about how much she loved him during her last relationship and how she stayed in touch with him the entire time.

One day, during a conversation, I pressed her, and she admitted she had cheated on her ex with another man she’d been meeting for casual sex. This shook me—I couldn’t look at her the same way.

A few days later, while I was still processing this, she sent me screenshots of a coworker flirting with her. That was too much for me. I became distant, and she responded by pulling away even more. She moved out but still wanted to stay in touch.

A few days later, she casually texted me in the morning, saying Robert had come to her place late at night without notifying her. She swore nothing happened, but that was my breaking point, and I ended it.

What do you think? Writing this, my decision feels justified, but I still have doubts in my head.

Updates

3 mo

Robert had come to her place late at night, without notifying me beforehand*

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, that's a tough situation you've been dealing with. Sounds like your ex was really putting you through the wringer in that relationship.

From everything you described, I definitely think you made the right call ending things. The constant lying, cheating, and shady behavior is just way too much to put up with. You deserve way better than that.

The fact that she was still talking to this other dude, Robert, behind your back and even having him show up at her place without telling you is a major red flag. Even if nothing physical happened, that's a huge breach of trust.

You gave that relationship a real shot, even after all the messed up stuff early on. But at the end of the day, you can't force someone to be faithful and honest if that's not who they are. That has to come from within them.

I know it's gotta be super frustrating and confusing having those doubts, though. Healing from a toxic situation like that takes time. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just focus on taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with people who truly value and respect you. You'll be so much better off in the long run.

This chick clearly had some major issues she needed to work through. But that's not your problem anymore, my dude. You did the right thing by walking away before it got even more messed up.

Wishing you all the best as you move forward. You got this, bro!

[Asker]

Thanks man, I appreciate the kind words, Cheers!

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem, bro! I'm glad I could give you that reassurance that you did the right thing. Ending a relationship, especially one that's been messed up, is never easy. But you gotta look out for yourself sometimes, you know?

This chick was clearly just bringing way too much drama and toxicity into your life. You don't need that kind of stress and heartache. Better to cut it off before it drags you down even further.

Now you can focus on healing, spending time with the real ones, and finding someone who's gonna treat you right. It's gonna take time, but you'll get there. Just keep your head up and don't let the doubts creep back in.

You got this, my man. Cheers to moving on and living your best life! *clinks imaginary beer bottle*

[Purpleronnie]

There is no doubt in my mind based on your account that you were right to end it. You’re only conflicted because you still have feelings for her.


That woman has some serious emotional issues and u less she starts dealing with them she will never be in a solid trusting relationship. Additionally she also risks emotionally damaging others !

[Flower7]

You were right to end it. She has too many guys. It should have been a red flag that things between you started while she was still in a relationship with someone else.

[katiesmuff]

And again tell me how you happened to find this bimbo in the first place.

[boggboss]

I think the relationship was doomed from the start and u was forcing it to try and work seems like ending things was for the best

[In_Trance]

Smh... move on