Break Up & Divorce

Getting over a toxic relationship you didn’t want to leave?

I finally broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months after months of what I’d now actually accept was emotional abuse. My boyfriend even if he doesn’t want to accept it, manipulated me, disrespected and didn’t value me, tried to distance me from my friends, tried to sorta peer pressure me in sex, brought up his ex and past flings etc., owes me 2.3k and kept damaging the relationship due to his inability to emotionally regulate himself. His lack of communication and transparency destroyed it all. He managed to make me rely on him, being him in everything he said and what not. He did do some things for my good, in terms of career development etc but he’s the same guy who would sit through my anxiety attacks but also be the cause of half or more of my anxiety. I even ended up self harming due to him.
It was a constant blame game and lack of boundaries on both ends. It wasn’t a breakup I wanted but I was hurting so bad and he didn’t want to breakup either. Infact he kept begging me for giving him a last chance or a month to show he has improved and changed and wanted to try couples therapy etc., he was trying to sway me.
I still need to meet him to give his stuff back once he is back from his international trip.

I alr got rid of all stories and posts, deleted half the pictures but I don’t know how to heal and get over this. I’m in therapy. I don’t know how to become stronger, actually see what an asshole he was and move forward. I know it will hurt but I want it to stop. I want to feel free off this burden and pain. I still do love him deep down.

Getting over a toxic relationship you didn’t want to leave?
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