I found out that he is married, do I confront him or just block him?

[Anonymous]

I recently fell for this guy. He was everything that I wanted and so much more. I felt so lucky to be with him. We have been dating for a month and he told me that he was going on vacation since work has been stressful. I know that he doesn’t have social media, but since he said he was going on the trip with friends, I figured they would post pictures of his adventures.

I logged into Facebook and went onto a profile of a friend of his that he had mentioned to me before, hoping to see pictures of his trip. Instead, I found pictures of him and his wife and daughter on the trip with his friends. I had no idea that he was married. He told me he had a daughter, but that the mother was out of the picture. I was absolutely shocked to see this happy little family. I feel absolutely disgusted with myself, having been intimate with him and having fallen for him. I don’t know what to do next. Do I confront him and then block him or just block him without saying anything?

I don’t want to hurt his wife or make things more complicated than they already are. I just want to move on and heal.

What should I do? Please help!

[Finchie40]

Girl I been in your shoes plenty of times with married women that lied to me and said they were single. In the beginning I use to just immediately dump her and told her To stop calling me, but since this started happening to me more and more , I no longer dumped her right away and asked her why she was cheating on her husband or boyfriend with me? To find out she isn’t happy in her relationship whatsoever, she just stayed for the kids’ sake , but hated her spouse and pretended everything was ok with them when really she just was doing it for the kids’ . So I know you are upset that he is married and lied to you , but have a talk with him first before assuming the worst case scenario, his wife and him might look happy in pictures but behind closed doors it could be complete opposite , Most married couples don’t air their dirty laundry out for everyone to see , they pretend everything is alright on the outside for the kids’ sake but in the inside it’s a nightmare , My ex wife and I did this for the kids’ but the reality of it , my wife treated me like garbage and no longer slept in bed with me or kissed me , all she did was bash me to her friends’ to act like she was this victim when really she was a POS , so your married boyfriend might be in the same shoes I was in and his wife might be a bitch and a half , so don’t just assume the worst , have a talk with him and tell him you found out he is married and ask him why he is cheating on his wife? You might be surprised that he actually has deep feelings for you and no longer deep feelings for his wife , some of the married women I stayed with was the best decision I made because they treated me like gold and eventually divorced their husband or broke up with their boyfriend for me

[blueonblack22]

This is usually because of one of two things. Either he’s a sociopath or he’s got serious problems with his wife. Neither reason justifies what he is doing.

Send him a one time message that you found out he’s married / father and what he is doing is extremely wrong. Tell him you want nothing to do with that. Tell him to never contact you again. Then block him immediately after sending that message.

That way if he’s going any shred morality left it could be a wake up call to him. But if he’s a sociopath (which is also very possible) you are not giving him a chance to manipulate you out of it.

But if you ghost him he might conclude it’s because of a different reason. Then he will continue on doing this bs with someone else.

Also I don’t recommend reaching out to his wife about this. I know women have this “oh we got to look out for each other” mentality but you don’t know how she will react. She might accuse you of seducing him or something. So don’t do it.

But eventually the truth will come out. She’ll find out one way or another.

[blueonblack22]

Also there is a distant possibility he’s separating from his wife which make this “semi” legitimate. But he doesn’t want to bring that up to other women he’s dating. Reason being it could mean instant rejection for him.

But still he could have brought this up to you later and he didn’t. But again this is reason you should send him a one time message about why you are done. You can’t expect him to “get it” through 6th sense passive communication. Especially if he has an ego. He will likely conclude you blocked him for a different reason then continue on with his bs.

So if you really care about other women out there then be straight up with this guy. And you are welcome to block him immediately after sending that last message.

[MandalaMama]

If you were his wife would you want to know?


I most definitely would want to know if my husband and the father of my child/ren is cheating on me or if he had been.


There's nothing to say to him. There's no conversation that needs to be had with him.


It's entirely up yo you if you want to tell his wife ofcourse, just know that if you do there will need to be some solid proof for her to believe you.


Sorry that he did this to you. It will continue to hurt for a while and will heal. It could be worse, you could be his wife.

[blueonblack22]

You can’t assume that his wife / their marriage is the same for them as it is for you. Not making excuses for this guy (because he’s obviously a scumbag). But women need to stop this “oh we need to look out for each other” naive approach.

Reason being is his wife is not the same person you are. She could be having an affair herself and / or they worked out some sort of “polyamory” deal, etc. They could be going through a separation. You don’t know her side of all this. Don’t assume right away that’s she a victim in all this because the thought of that happening to you is scary. She could be an innocent victim in all this, but you don’t know that for sure.

[beenherebefore]

If I were in your shoes I would quietly block him everywhere and never speak to him ever again. You don't need to confront him about anything, you seen what you seen and that should be pretty self explanatory. He's a piece of s*it and thought you were dumb. Move on and remove yourself from this situation.

[HawkPerception]

Hmm... this is an interesting scenario. His wife might actually be out of the picture. He might have went on vacation with her for his daughter, so she has both parents with her. It might be an arrangement between the parents so they can both raise the daughter and give her experiences together.

And he might have not told you he was going on vacation with his ex and daughter because he was scared of how you would take it.

That story might be a bit of a stretch, but I think it's possible. That being said... confront him about it and if you find out she's still in the picture, leave his ass, because he's a lying scumbag. But in the small chance he's just doing it for his daughter, I don't see him as a bad guy. I personally wouldn't do it that way, but I'd respect it.

[Summeroflove]

Sick…. Yeah that’s hard. Just yeah definitely tell him it’s over and not to contact you. Be direct. If he’s gonna get mad…. He’s gonna be mad if you block him too.

But yeah if he doesn’t leave you alone. Block for sure.

[AviatorTom]

If you like the guy, confront him. He may have a legit explanation. For example, he may have gone with his ex wife for the sake of their daughter.

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

thats not an excuse to cheat bffr.

[AviatorTom]

@imjustagirl15 Who said he was cheating? He went on a vacation with his daughter and his daughter's mother. Unless you have some specific evidence otherwise, why do you say he was cheating?

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

As the asker said, he was married. If he wanted to be with other women, he could’ve divorced his kids mother. Sad i have to explain this to a grown man🤦‍♀️

[AviatorTom]

@imjustagirl15 She assumed he was married because he was on vacation with his daughter and his daughter's mother, who very possibly could be his ex. After all, he did say she was out of the picture.

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

if that was the case, why would he lie?

[AviatorTom]

@imjustagirl15 Exactly what was his lie?

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

Saying he was going with some friends and not his ex-wife.

[AviatorTom]

@imjustagirl15 Would you have felt better if he said it was his ex-wife?

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

yeah i would. because then he wouldn't be lying.

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

stop making excuses for him and accept that its what men often do, cheat on their wife and kids with a young easy woman.

[AviatorTom]

@imjustagirl15 It saddens me that you believe that all men are nasty. We're not. End of discussion.

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

qoute me when i said ”all men” all im saying is that its common, men are more likely to cheat, wether you like it or not.

[DishLady]

Just block him. He’s a dbag and doesn’t deserve your time or attention.

[abc3643]

OK, do the following in this order:
1. Online, send an email to him stating that you have noticed pictures of his family including his wife. In that email mention:
A. "You had said 'the mother was out of the picture'. What exactly do you mean by that?"
(And leave that open-ended; you don't want to put thoughts in his head like "divorce", "broke-up", "separated", or "widowed". You want him to explain in his words only.)
B. "I would like to know what the mother's name is. Can you please provide it?"
(And if he asks why you want it, you say "That's my business." or something to that effect. Of course — and he should realize this without asking you — that you are going to look her up on social media, etc. If he is asking why, then he might be reticent to comply with the request. Reticence is a potential sign of guilt, but not always.)
C. "If you are still married and at least not separated, we can't continue."


In his defense, he should be given the opportunity to defend and explain himself given what you have discovered. Remember two things:
1. A half-truth is as bad as a lie or falsehood. So, he may indeed be married, but if he is on the road to divorced, then personally I'd consider that as still essentially single and available.
2. In court, you have the constitutional right to face your accuser. Even though you are not in court, the situation is similar; you're "charging him with the crime of lying and adultery" yet he may not actually be "guilty" of that, so he needs to be given the opportunity to explain and defend.

If he is genuinely married and is committing, in essence, adulterous actions, then you need to ditch him; if you don't, there's no way you can feel safe that he won't do to you what he's doing to his wife.

[RavVid]

He was lying and deceiving you. I think it is fair to say he was using you. He is morally bankrupt and unlikely to care that he has been caught out by you. I do think you should hold up a mirror to him and confront his immorality.

The bigger moral issue is his wife. For myself I don't think cheaters are entitled to protection of their cheating. As you have said, you don't want to cause his wife hurt - that's is highly moral of you... and genuinely nice of you which I admire.

However I don't think that serves the wife well in the long run. Yes she will be even more greatly hurt than you are at this moment but the root cause is not you.

I think refuse him protection from the consequences of his immorality. It is moral to call out immorality. Maybe do that then block him. I think it is moral to tell his wife also.

[serious]

Well, it is good that you are a mature woman and that you don't want to cause any problems in his family life. Now that you know the truth, please don't waste your time and energy in confronting him and fighting about this. It actually serves no purpose.

The best thing you can do as you have said it yourself is to block him completely. Cease full contact with him. However, before you block him permanently you can send him a message saying that you know the truth about him being married and also his family and so you are terminating all contact with him.

[RichardCranium6201]

Then fkn move on and heal. It's not rock science. He comes home, messages you, no response. His calls, don't get through... he's not gunna sit here and think, oh no what did I do? He fkn knows exactly what he did. And he knows exactly what he is doing. And the thing is, he don't care about you. He's not gunna leave his family for u. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. It doesn't matter how much fun u 2 had, or what promises he's made to you... you are just someone he wanted to fk. And that's it. Move on , you don't have to tell him shit. BUT IF YOU DO decide to reach out, then be honest with your self, cuz ur hoping he has something clever to say so u can keep fkn him. That's not how it is? Block him. It's that's easy.

[RichardCranium6201]

And he doesn't have social media? Every 1 has something now a days. He just blocked that part of his life from you

[RichardCranium6201]

And tell his wife, no need, she already kinda knows...

[slatyb]

Just block him. A confrontation will provide no satisfaction. Then review the signs that you missed, the questions you didn't ask so you don't fall victim to another scammer. If a man will not take you to his home, is unavailable to take calls at the usual non-work hours, is generally unavailable to meet you, these are all signs that he has other obligations in his life.

[UrLoveMocha]

Whew that’s a really hard one and I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced this. If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t even tell him anything. I would just block them. He will eventually figure it out. Think about this, if he’s willing to potentially destroy his marriage and family, what do you think he’d do to you? He’s not worth the headache nor the karma. There’s someone out there for you that won’t lie to you or live a double life.

[Abbycado]

It is honestly not your fault that he was deceitful. I know that you say you are disgusted with yourself, but it is his dishonesty that caused the problem.

Just block him and not say a word. Get him out of your life.

[Staximus]

There's no excuse for that kind of deceptive behavior. People like this can never be trusted again. Tell him you know he has a wife and he's a lying piece of shit, and to never contact you again. If you don't say anything you're leaving the door open.

[Staximus]

In your mind and in the relationship

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Block him and tell the wife. Everything from that point on is the consequences of his actions.

[ManOnFire]

Definitely block him without warning and without any last words. You can also feel free to tell his wife, upfront or anonymously. And if she still chooses to stay with him then you'll know she ain't shit either.

[jahaims]

Send the evidence of the affair to the wife so she can take him to court and if she can prove the affair she will be even more heavily favored in court.

[Clyde_123]

Haha like the idea.

[spartan55]

When you start a relationship perform your due diligence BEFORE you have sex, get involved, etc. It's very easy to find out if someone is married or not. People lie about being married... a lot.

[jazzy34]

Block him everywhere and move on with your life. If you confront him, he’ll try to talk you out of it and try to convince you to stay with him. Either way, I’m sorry he deceived you.

[Miristheiss]

He is ab adulter.

Wife should know.

You are a tramp sleeping with someone that isn't your husband. Your moral compass is broke and evil.

[jshm2]

You do nothing, as you were mislead into what happened. You ghost the geezer, and move on - ensuring you ask the question of their status, next time.

[RxR0954]

I think you should just block him, because whatever he’s gonna say might just be manipulation and bullshitting

[red-lipstick-girl]

What he did was absolutely wrong and unforgivable. I think you should talk to him, but you should also tell him that because he lied to you, you will never trust him or speak to him again.

[Nikki1989]

It wasn't your fault. Men will lie and will lie constantly. You just found this out the hard way.

[CherryLove007]

Ignore him he is not special. There are 4 billion other men on the earth. Dust off and be happy you know.

[molonski2]

Don't worry about it , nothing has changed , just continue on with him as a " Geek " , it's all fine all. the same.

[PeachyPie93]

Block him..
You might want to tell his wife tho, so he doesn't keep doing it to her..

[Theunfadeable]

You know you should just block him but you love drama so you ain’t going to.🤣

[WhitneySnow]

Just block him and move on. It’s the best way to heal.

[Chocolatetwopoint3]

You should tell his wife, she’s gonna find out sooner or later, tell him you’ll tell her if he doesn't

[StephanieChick111]

You should talk to him about it and see how you can work around that. Good luck.

[aaron-98]

The best thing to do is to walk away , talking with him won't change anything and you already knows that he have a family, and the good thing about you is you're such a conscious person with morals , just let it go and move on

[Anonymous]

Not too bright, are you? Dump him yourself and tell him why. Then block him. If you truly needed "help" with this decision. you need to stop dating.

[douride2]

Just block him & walk away. Life will be easier then confronting him.

[RHK36]

Block him and move on. If he harasses you after then tell him to stop or you'll speak with his wife

[Jackblue]

Tell his wife, you aren't hurting her you are helping her.

[RingOfFire]

Block and leave. What would be the point of confronting?

[noohair]

What would you benefit from confrontation? You gain power by walking away without saying anything.

[Isaywhatifeel122]

Block him and find someone who deserves you. Dont spend your precious time on this planet teaching people How to be a good person. They will get bit eventually

[Brady]

Confront him, blok him if u want. It's up 2 u if u want 2 tell his wife.

[blackeagle007]

I think his wife needs to know what her husband being sneaky

[dragoblack]

Confront, then block. If anything, inform his wife as well.

[drsam]

U love him than no issues u can have conversation and sort it out, if i was just lust than forget him

[robocop666]

hire a private investigator to be sure. She may be out of the picture.

[Anonymous]

I would block him. No waste of more time.

[WonderingManII]

Oh My Word, where did you meet him?

[Clyde_123]

Confront him and after that block him.

[Mike_Hum]

Tell the wife then block him.

[wkhan_87]

How can you attached with a married man?

[Asker]

I didn’t know he was married.

[wkhan_87]

It's on you now ,, if you confront or block

[msc545]

Just block him and move on.

[msc545]

Ignore all the complex explanations and plans that people on here are making for you, or attempting to get you to do. You don't need to tell anybody about this. You don't need to confront the wife. You don't need to confront him. Period. You just need to block him and move on with your life.

[Sabretooth]

You tell his wife.

[SmokyEnrique]

Before block him, tell him the reason

[Smegskull]

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

[Anonymous]

Just block him.

[katiesmuff]

I'd do both!

[Kingofkings1992]

Another fake story lol

[Blacksnake285]

Women screw married men all the time

[In_Trance]

Block him

[Anonymous]

Just block him