Is this a toxic way to get back at my ex?

[Anonymous]

Me and ex have been on and off for 3 years. Safe to say he let me down massively and I was stupid enough to let him back in time after time. He never respected me and just wanted me for sex but then when we'd break up he didn't like me being happy without him so would come chasing for me back.

He cheated on me and said it was my fault because I wasn't giving what hewanted in the bedroom. We broke up and I came back Christmas 2024 probably because I felt so lonely.

Then came summer and we went to a work related boat party together (may I add we are colleagues who were dating in secret) he got really drunk and called me a frigid bitch and vomited all over me. I told myself he didn't mean it and was just drunk so I took care of him.

I know now i lacked so much self worth and stuck around way to long. The next morning I woke up a little upset about the night before and he told me I was lying and the said he only stayed in the relationship because he didn't want things to be awkward at work.

I told him it was over there and then and too just leave my house.

he's already moved on now and is having loads of dates and trying to rub it in my face. I genuinely was in love with this man once and knowing he actively wants to hurt my feelings like that makes me feel so sad inside.

My best friend hates him and encouraged me to leave him. He even tried setting me up on a couple dates with people to help me move on and build my confidence but Im really not in the right mind set for a new relationship yet.

Im gonna be all alone on valentines day and my friend has suggested we buy a big bouquet of roses and send them to my work. my best friend is gay but he has a very nice car and can pull off being straight well.

he's suggested for a couple months he pick me up from work to pretend to be my new man.

This will drive my ex crazy, especially because my bestie is rich and good looking but am I just as bad as him if I do this?

[cherrytreeblossom]

good guy best friend! big ups from me! hell yeah! let's go, have some fun, enjoy yourselves, who gives a shit about the shittest ex ever! just have a great fkn day together :)

"I know now i lacked so much self worth and stuck around way to long"

yeah, well you can say that again. you still dont have much self worth, that's why you're still thinking about your ex, when you should exclusively be thinking about yourself, about your life and how you want to live it. it doesn't matter whom he dates, if anything, you should just feel sorry about the women and it also doesn't matter that you haven't found anyone yet, as you're still working through sth. you should be all there for your next relationship so that it may be your forever one!

he's a piece of shit, you were wrong with your choice, oh well, womp-womp. i've also once stepped into shit, it ruined my whole week then and it sucks thinking about it now, but i cannot make it ruin my day all these years later. we have to live in the present, not in the past or some uncertain future.

all this said, i'm partial to some cold served revenge. if you feel like it, sure, go ahead, you can do whatever you want as far as i'm concerned. i wouldn't recommend sleeping around, though, that just leaves you open to more heartbreak. i think this experience shouldve taught you to value quality over quantity. but you could likely get him fired for dozens of reasons by now, the work related party on a boat shouldve had some eye witnesses even of him throwing up and swearing at you. it would also serve to get him out of your life/to leave you alone. and, you know, bc it's the right thing to do. if your company knew what kind of person he was, they wouldn't even have hired him.

wish you all the best

[miana]

Honestly I'd do it🤷‍♀️, it's childish sure but it's fun, it makes you feel better about yourself, and you've got an amazing friend willing to do so with you, even If you are doing it to make an ex feel like you can do better, which you actually can. You're still doing something to make you feel better, and it could be worse choices out there, at the end of the day it's still a way for you to cope, your friend is there along for the ride, but a suggestion would be to actually go out on that day, and do something for your sake, not for the sake of someone else seeing it, but to genuinely have fun.

Trust me a few years from now it'll not even be a second thought, but a distant memory, especially when you find better, and start feeling that you deserve better than a worthless man who makes you feel even more worthless about yourself.

People like that gets their karma full swing, and will never be happy in their relationships, and the women he is with? They're just taking your trash out, cause he doesn't treat women with respect as you've noticed. So say good riddance and start thinking about making yourself feel better.

[Purpleronnie]

I feel like you really need some tough love advice here but honestly , I don’t believe mentally / emotionally you could take it.


It honestly begs belief that you are still influenced by that piece of shit 💩 ex. You say you loved him and I am truly bewildered by that.


You shouldn’t be thinking in terms of revenge but I do understand why.


Focus on you and having fun , and don’t let your history with him influence ANY decision going forward … HE IS AN EX !!!

[Spencer10]

The best revenge is to be happy. Move on with your life and just leave your ex in your past. Do not give him free rent in your brain.

[Screenwriter]

Why waste your time trying to hurt this guy. He's not worth your time and had repeatedly wounded you. Besides, he's moved on.

You might not be in the mood now, but DO go out with your friend. Not for revenge, but for the good time you need to get over Mr. X. Later, you might avail yourself of the the date setups he's offered you.

I'd also suggest you get some temporary counseling to get over your grief and anger. Go for a few months and get emotional support from a professional. Then you'll be ready and able to move on and get happy! Kiss your good friend and thank him, too!

[PeachyPie93]

I personally wouldn't bother but you could do the valentines thing to give yourself a boost. Usually when guys get jealous or annoyed they tend to be immature and hurt you deeper so I don't think I would play the hurting game..

[WhitneySnow]

That’s toxic. Don’t waste your time. Also, I’m sure your ex has met your best friend before? Not to mention a lot of straight guys have gaydar.

[Asker]

Are relationship was secret so no and he never had interest in meeting any of my friends it was always about him

[WhitneySnow]

Just dump this guy and move on. Continuing to be attached to him in any way is toxic.

[LeatherDame]

The Best revenge is living a good Life.


Disengage and never look back.

[BrianMerritt]

"Getting back" at any out is toxic to some degree. But in this case, you really aren't hurting anybody. Success is the best revenge.

[itsnaoxornever]

it might be immature... but please do it and give updates 😩🙏🏻

[AngryCarl2]

It's up to you but if you're intent on putting on a performance for your ex that just proves that he still has power over you.

[In_Trance]

Revenge is small dick energy.
Block and move on

[Anonymous]

How about this HEAL YOURSELF WORK ON YOURSELF AND MOVE ON... capisce?

[Opinion Owner]

Why resort to childish high school antics? This isn't clueless with Alicia Silverstone and you doing that sure as hell isn't going to get him back just heal work on yourself and move on cut your losses