I left my ex several years ago because of infidelity issues he didn't want to admit. He didn't want me to leave but respected my decision, though I knew he was quite devastated by it. We didn't talk during that time until last year when I realised I wanted to make up and be on friendly terms. No use in holding a grudge.
We talked and while he still didn't admit to anything openly because he was ashamed, I know he heard what I said and we both kind of found common ground and became closer emotionally again, as people.
Now, recently I noticed these kinds of behaviours from him:
He looks me in the eye a lot, compliments my intellect, tells me about his life and past, tries to find out what I like nowadays, pretends he has to be somewhere too when he knows I'll be there, listens in on my conversations especially with guys, tries to disturb me when I talk to a guy, gets nervous and dumbfounded when I enter the room, makes jokes like me, does me favours, agrees with my opinion, tries to get me to laugh, gets insecure easily when I say something about him, I could go on. When he looks at me for long in the eye, he looks vulnerable. He even finds reasons to be in a room alone together with me and behaves like a little boy when we're alone, very cautious and shy. When I mention another man platonically, he becomes almost slightly aggressive very fast.
Does all this look like he wants to get together with me? I have forgiven but I don't know if it's wise to trust. Of course I still like him but I don't want to get crushed the way I did years ago again. I literally was almost suicidal because of it and leaving him was the only thing I could do.
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It does sound like he wants you back, but you’ve got to decide - is it really worth it? If he hurt you that badly, to the point where you were considering ending your life, is that something that you want to go through again? On the chance that he hasn’t changed at all. Don’t put yourself through that heart break and betrayal again, just for his sake.
Whether it's worth it, that's the question here... I thought about maybe just sticking around and seeing whether he might have changed his behaviour, without getting involved too deeply. He's very smart though so he's very good at hiding things and manipulating people.
What surprises me is that he acts so jealous when I talk about someone else. It's not like he has a right to, you know? Not after everything.
Stay away from him romantically. Remain friends if you want, but based on everything I’ve read from this post and your comments, he needs to stay an ex. Being good at hiding things and manipulating people? 🚩🚩🚩. Getting jealous over you having guy friends? That’s a sign of controlling behaviour. 🚩🚩🚩. You’re sure he cheated on you but he wouldn’t admit it? 🚩🚩🚩. He’s disrupting your social life by listening in on conversations, getting in the way of you talking to other guys? 🚩🚩🚩.
He's an ex for a reason I got back with my ex's and it ended the same way we broke up got back together then broke up again it's not worth it in the long run Because you would just get hurt again by the same person that hurt you the first time an ex is like a book the ending stays the same it won't ever change so don't do it
Don't try with ex
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