Should I wait for him to get over his ex?

[heartmedic]

I met a guy not too long ago, and we really hit it off texting, and connected. When I first met him, he mentioned an ex that really hurt him. While we were texting, everything was super sweet and cute. Some messages were flirty, cutesy, and just plain romantic. Even talking on the phone wasn't awkward. He kept saying how much he liked me, and was happy that we were talking to each other. We had planned to hang out this weekend. I then got a text message where he said "I need to be honest and I don't want to hurt you, because I really do like you and want to go further, but I can't help thinking about my ex, and I don't think it's right or fair for you. Will you wait for me to figure things out? I wanna talk-talk to you still"

I can honestly say there were no signs of this happening at all. He never talked about his ex before and was always so sweet and sincere and genuine. He would call me every night to tell me goodnight. I really like him and really hope that there's a future with him. But I'm confused, My heart tells me to wait, but my head is saying that he may forget. What should I do? Am I being played, or does he really want to be with me?

He said that we can still be friends, without pursuing a relationship for now, until he's ready. And we can still talk, but we haven't talked since that convo, and I can't tell if or when I should talk to him again as a friend.

[wrenlgr]

trust him. If you're ever in question, always opt for trust before mistrust. If you're comfortable with it, talk with him about his ex. I did the same thing - I waited and now our relationship is great. But it's realllllly important to allow him to get over it - otherwise the thought of her will wedge itself between the two of you and he will be emotionally unstable, causing your relationship to be thus. If you happen to fall in love with someone else in the meantime, go for it. But there's no way he can forget you if you're still close friends with him. Be there for him and be understanding and you'll endear yourself even more to him :)

[sadandconfusedd]

I'm just wondering, how long did you wait for him? I'm in a similar situation, except we actually dated for four months before I found out he wasn't over her. I don't know whether I should wait or not.

[MyBunnie]

I suddenly found this question and totally im in a similar situation, except we haven't officially dated yet. He was clear and honest since the first time meeting that he's on a break with the girlfriend and he wanted to see what's next and messaged her, but she still hasn't responded back. He now wants to try it 1 more chance. He talked to me about his ex just fine and my crushes (since i haven't dated before) So, now I'm waiting to see how things between him and the ex/gf are going, whether they will officially be done or get back together. Whether they are back together or not, i will know where I stand.

[madmisskelly]

Well, you need to look at what he's told you that he's basically not ready and needs to figure things out. Leave him be and let him handle his stuff.
However, its unfair of him to ask you to wait for him. You have a life and you have your own stuff to take care of. I can guarantee this is NOT going to be the only guy you meet that will treat you well and that you will have a connection with.
Just keep doing your thing and if it works out with him, then it does, if it doesn't then oh well.

[Anonymous]

I like this guy :) He's honest, sweet and considerate. You should really stick to him and be patient. Take things really slow because eventually he will be able to forget about her (if he finds his happiness with you). So, don't mention relationships or love or anything, just be yourself and be friends. Get to know each other more and enjoy your time with him.

Don't leave him :)

[Impex]

No I wouldn't give up just yet, because first of all players don't make friends with the girls they are talking to, they hit it and run. At least he is explaining what's going on to you instead of leaving you in the dark, and that's what important so that you know what his intentions are.

Just give him a while, keep talking and the communication up, that way you'll always be in his mind and that thought of his ex can be pushed out of his head. He seems to genuinly like you, just give him a bit of time.

Good Luck

[heartmedic]

thanks, we started talking again, and think it's going well :)

[Impex]

Good to know :) hope everything works out. and thank you for the BA

[ImALuvrNotAFighter]

How long ago did he and his ex split up? If it was recent, his emotional wounds still haven't healed; you need to give him some time. If it has been a while, he's either feeding you a line or he doesn't know what he wants.

[lilcointreau]

it was about a month ago, but he said that he really fell for her, and now she's dating another guy that he used to be closed to.

[martyfellow]

You shouldn't get so complicated at your age. Just drop contact with him and don' look back if you never connect again. Que sera sera!

[Anonymous]

He evidently is not ready, so the choice is yours whether you think you wanna wait or not.