Was I too harsh to my ex boyfriend?

[Avangelis]

My ex boyfriend of 9 years was a really great guy. He was loving, sweet and kind but the problem is he "wasn't a phone guy." I called him often. He didn't call me often or even send me a text to tell me that he was thinking of me. I respect a working man but was it selfish to want him to call me once a week or maybe twice a week? Was it selfish to want to see him more than one day a week?

Supposedly, Tuesday was his only day off. I asked him if he was free one night on a Saturday, the following Tuesday I got no call, no text, no him, no nothing. I tried to call and text him to see what had happened.I called his cell and his house phone. Then Friday and I finally gave up and broke up with him in a text. I no that was cruel but he's stood me up quite a lot before. If he had answered his phone we could have worked it out. Now only a month later he has a new woman. he spends more time with her than he ever did with me.

Was I too harsh?

Updates

+1 y

Yea I was 11 when I met him he was 13. I was pretty torn up about it because I've been with him nearly half of my life. I felt guilty. But I still love him. I won't try to mess up what he has got with this new woman.

[Anonymous]

I think he was too harsh to you not the other way around!

I hope you're not too heartbroken or anything like that, at least you don't seem to be, losing someone of 9 years can be damn tough!

If that would happen only once of course breaking up by text may seem not really right but he'd stood you up a lot before... I mean, it's just plain disrespectful!

You got normal expectations from relationships, and if they ain't satisfied the only rational option is to end that relationship, which is what you did and you did right!

I also personally couldn't stay together with a girl which I meet very rarely and who constantly doesn't show on dates!

I think the real reason behind this is that he... just didn't fancy you anymore! You're just 20, and it seems like you've met when you were... eleven?

At such very early age people can get too used to each other, and all excitement and thrill is long gone already! You know - the thrill when meeting someone new, that infatuation phase?

At late teens and early twenties hormone storms take over everything!

I think you're a keeper, if you still liked him after all those years, for you that thrill is not the primary thing!

But he was not, maybe he stopped liking you "that way" long ago already, as he was sinking himself in a job, and just plain avoided you!

And after such a long relationship he found a new woman after just a one month! One month!

It may be overboard to say "forget him" but damn, get a new boyfriend who will give you enough attention!

That gonna be like a breath of fresh air!

[ImALuvrNotAFighter]

I don't think you were too harsh. If that was the best he could do after 9 years, the relationship was in big trouble. Plus, if he went from a 9-year relationship to a new girlfriend in just a month, he wasn't really feeling it for you anymore.

[emily155]

I know what it feels like to put in that extra effort with someone you love and not getting anything back. When you're in a relationship, it takes two to make things work and you can't be the one doing all the calling and the planning. I did that with my ex and it made me resent him in the last few months we were together. No one is that busy that they can't answer a text or a phone call. It seems like to me that he has already emotionally left the relationship with you and did not have the courage to physically end it until you did. If he has someone else already and he's putting in effort with her, then that means that he has wanted out with you and given the history that you guys have with each other, it was not easy to do so.

I know you still love him and he probably still loves you, but he doesn't love the relationship enough to want to stay in it. Stay strong because the right now is probably just right around the corner waiting for you. :)

[Stacyzee]

Not in any way. He was in the wrong and was the one being selfish.

[Anonymous]

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