Should my boyfriend buy his child's mom a mother's day gift?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has a 3 year old with a girl who was a "friends with benefits"... His mom suggested that he get something for the mother as a gift from their son. The two of them are on good terms, but I just think this is strange?

I grew up with divorced parents, and I don't remember my dad ever getting anything for my mom? When she remarried her husband would get gifts from me for her, and I think THAT makes sense because they were a couple...

[cazza3]

Of course he should and should continue to do so until their son is old enough to do it himself. You have to realize its not from him its from their son and she should also do it for him on fathers day, xmas, birthday etc. While I understand your confusion due to your parents relationship, your boyfriend is on good terms with her and sounds like they are handling their situation very maturely. Their child should always come first

[Asker]

I'll happily buy him a gift from his son for father's day.. I don't see why she'd need to. Ugh. She doesn't even care to see their child for Mother's Day. If she isn't going to be with him during the day, then clearly it doesn't matter to her anyway. She doesn't want him for any holiday, actually. It's bizarre.

[cazza3]

Its not about her, its about their son. Your boyfriend may be trying to teach him how he should treat his mother and show they can remain magnanimous, not play off against each other. She needs to buy him a gift for fathers day because he's the father to her child, regardless of what you do. Its not about you or her its about their child

[NopeStayAway]

What if it’s money?

[Stacyzee]

Well, if she is a great mother to their child all he is doing is acknowledging this.

He could get her something as simple as a card (from himself).

I really see no need to put that it's from a child who can hardly write,

but I guess it is the thought that counts?

He could put both of their names on it.

[Asker]

I just don't really want him to get her anything. Lol. She didn't even get their child anything for her birthday!

[Stacyzee]

Just cause she didn't get her child anything for her birthday doesn't mean she isn't a great mom. I guess times are a little hard? She could get away with doing things like that while the child is young. When the child is older, she'll feel like she has to get things for her birthday,(cause she will have a lot of wants). haha.

[NopeStayAway]

What if it’s money?

[TheoryOfAvarice]

I think it's a nice sentiment, although being so removed from the situation and such, my opinion may not matter much.

She is his son's mom, though, after all.. I'm sure she would be touched.

[Asker]

I think it would be the nice thing to do, but.. I just would prefer if he didn't. They aren't together.. I don't buy any of my exes (or people that I've slept with) any gifts.. It's already weird enough that he's got a child (with someone he didn't even date.. just slept with).. but, I don't think I should have to accept him buying her gifts for any reason either.

[TheoryOfAvarice]

Well, I'm not sure what to tell you. I really don't see anything wrong with it. I know they weren't a couple or anything but she's still a mother.

If you're so bothered by it then you should probably just sit him down and talk with him about it and let him know how you feel.

[NopeStayAway]

What if it’s money?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like I'm in your stepfather's situation. I help my stepdaughter make/buy gifts for her mother, but apart from maybe helping her to pick out a card for her father, no gifts are sent from our household to his, and it's the same way on his end.

[Asker]

I definitely think that makes the most sense! So you agree, that he shouldn't get her anything? I just think it would be strange if he did!

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I mean, it's ~obvious~ who the gifts are coming from, and it's not the kid. I'd feel it was a little weird if her ex sent her a gift for mother's day, and likewise if she sent him something.

That doesn't necessarily mean that he ~shouldn't~, per se, it's just odd.

[6Paul11]

No. It's not his mom and they are not together. Plus, he is with you now. Is this a scab you really want to pick?

[Asker]

I agree with you! :) What do you mean by "Is this a scab I really want to pick" though? Obviously I don't want him to get her anything.. I gave him my thoughts on the subject.. but, I suppose he can do what he wants?

[6Paul11]

It's an expression. A scab is an old wound that is still there but has healed over. This situation has healed itself already. Do you really want to pick at it and open up the topic again? It could get ugly.

[Summeroflove]

It doesn’t matter. That’s up to him. As long as he isn’t with her anymore. Giving a gift is a nice thing to do.

I wouldn’t really think much of it unless you have a bad feeling. Though he doesn’t have to get her anything

[NopeStayAway]

What if it’s money?

[OlderAndWiser]

I think you are making this to be a bigger deal than it actually is. Jealous? Don't need to answer that question for me, but you should answer it for yourself.

[justincider]

Yes he should. It makes sure the little girl gives her mom something from her (not from him). Once she gets older, she can do this yourself. But, yes for all the holidays - birthday, xmas, valentines, and mothers day. Its basically standard if you are on good terms . . .

[CatholicVirginia]

YES he should. You always buy the parent something from the child, especially if you're on good terms. It's a thank you for being the parent of my child; there's nothing wrong with it.

[gayesblog]

I believe it really depends on their relationship... If they do not have such a good relationship, it may have a negative effect as well...

[NopeStayAway]

What if it’s money and not a gift?