How to tell a guy goodbye for the last time?

[bellahof]

There's this guy I loved and I still do but we've been on and off for 2 years now and he's hurt me too much to the point I just cry about us all the time for no reason. I want to tell him goodbye officially so I can move on and I need to tell him how much he's hurt me... It's now been two weeks since he's talked to me and he hasn't replied to any of my messages or calls and I really need to do this but he's not talking to me at all, even when I say I need him. I really need help from you all on what to say to him and how to get him to talk to me.. I feel miserable and I really am urging for all your advice. Thanks

[Anonymous]

I don't think you need to tell him anything. If you want to walk away, walk away.

I've done what you've done, writing the "goodbye". It doesn't generate a response, unless you are looking for it to make him race to your doorstep and beg you to take him back. And trust me, it isn't going to happen. If he wanted to talk to you, he would. If you feel the need to do anything at all, write your feelings down. Say what you want to say. Keep it, or tear it up, but leave it at that. He may or may not know how much of a jerk he is being, but telling him that isn't going to help the situation. It may make you feel better or you may think he will apologize for all the things he did that hurt you, but he did them. It's up to him to realize his mistakes and apologize for them, not you.

He probably doesn't want to talk to you because you are throwing all these emotions at him and probably acting a little crazy. Guys at any age don't want to deal with that. Leave it (and him) alone and give it time. Distance too. It might be easier later to talk to him once you both have time to think.

[toulouse]

i disagree. if she wants to talk, she should talk. not be passive.

he may not listen- that's separate.

trying once or twice is fine. otherwise she's being silenced by him.

guys at any age throw emotions around like crazy. that they don't want to deal with it from someone else, is because it reminds them of how they behave most of the time. whether directly, or by being an ass.

she should do w/e she wants. making more rules about what's OK, or not OK, is just him controlling the situation.

[Opinion Owner]

The reality of life is that people don't owe you anything. They don't have to treat you a certain way, they don't have to handle situations the way you want them to, they have the right to handle a situation anyway they want - which sometimes is ignoring you. He doesn't owe you an audience nor does he have to sit down with you to hear what you have to say. He may already know he's been a jerk, and he may put the blame on you. "Convincing" him to talk to you is pointless.

[bellahof]

hey yeah I finally got him to reply but he only said "what" and I replied saying I'll call him at 9:30 that night, I called 3 times with 10 minute intervals and he never picked up nor texted me the next day so the next day I texted him saying this is the last time I'm calling you before I go and I called and instead of letting it ring out he declined the call. I texted him after telling him that was his last opportunity to hear what I had to say, he still hasn't replied, what do I do?