My girlfriend won't say she loves me...

[Dilleo22]

My girlfriend got a text from her ex the other day that said I love you which popped up on her phone when she received the message. I was obviously in shock who wouldn't be my heart just dropped and I instantly got sad. I never looked at the messages before that I was just sad. She was upstairs when I saw it and never knew I saw it. I later brought it up to her and asked why is she still talking to him and never brought up the love you text part for a while. But I did after she said she just talked to him rarely. I questioned why she is not shutting him down from saying love you, if she is with me now and we have a relationship and says she has loved me in the past. She said they rarely talk but it seems that every time I'm with her she receives a message from him and she does reply not right away but still does. When I have had exes break up with me they won't even reply back to me they shut me down! I'm not going to lie one time I had to look at her messages I know it's not right but I don't know why she would still be talking to him after she broke up with him she made the decision to not be with him anymore. I called her later after I asked her about the text she got from him because she wasn't replying to my text. :/ she was sad I could tell from her voice. I asked what's wrong ? She said I don't know you wouldn't understand I was like babe I'm here to talk I'm your boyfriend I wanna help you! I'm here to! I asked if it was about her ex she said ya I asked if it was about me to she said ya. In my head I was like great :( here we go again. In summary she pretty much said if she can't tell him she loves him back when he says it she can't say it to me when I say it or when she feels it for me! Its seriously makes no sense? She has to still love him!? He's the past she's dating me now we have an intimate relationship I wouldn't be intimate if I wasn't in love with her and she shouldn't be having and intimate relationship with me if she still has something like feeling love with her ex still. can anyone tell me what I should do should I just give her time and break up and say we should just give it time to see what she wants as bad as it hurts me.? :/ I'm just sad truly not knowing. Later we kinda talked about it and she said she wants me but after the whole I can't say I love you cause he says it to me and I can't say it back I'm just so confused please help me :(

[ashleynatasha]

u guys look happy ! but I don't deal with the whole ex thing I feel she needs to get rid of that baggage it is very disrespectful ..he still loves her and they have history !u need to set boundries ..its okay to feel the way you do and express it to her.how would she like it if you talk to your ex?i dono exs need to be out of the picture it isn't right.u don't like it , that's all that matters ...awe I'm srry ...make sure you tell her you don't like it and if she continues even though it bothers you then you haved to leave or stay but if it continues and you stay it doesn't seem like it is good for you .u might love her but I delt with the same ex sh*t there should be no reason they talk!unless they have kids I feel

[gloomy]

I think she has mixed feelings. She is obviously not entirely over her ex and the fact that she texts him while you are her boyfriend is dam right disrespectful I think it would be better for you to end it she seems to be using you. If you don't want to talk to her lay everything down and tell her how you feel and that she shouldn't be texting him if she will not stop talking to him for you you shouldn't be with her

[hvannoy96]

I read it all lol but I don't get why she feels like she has to say it back? He's an EX - so why are they still saying I love you to each other? It doesn't make sense to me at all. I say just ask her for a better explanation and tell her you don't want to be with someone who still talks to her ex and may have some feelings for him still there.

[Dilleo22]

Thank you! :)

[hvannoy96]

You're welcome :)

[Anonymous]

Alright I know you're not going to like what I'm going to say, but I'm going to say it anyway.

Stop acting like a bitch. You're 20. Don't get this worked up over a girl. It's not worth it, man. Don't let her jerk you around. You're a dude. Act like it. And, remember that he who cares the least, wins. If you're reading her messages and questioning her about it, you're pushing her away. You might as well be pushing his ass up and down on top of her right now. The "but baby" stuff is for nice guys, and you know what happens to them. Put your foot down or leave. Don't let her see you sulk like that.

Not saying it to be mean. Just trying to get you on the right track.

[Shameneyes]

Good answer man

[Tripz]

As someone else said, don't get too worked up over it

yeah it definitely sucks no doubt about it... but if she is talking to her ex behind your back, how can you trust anything else she says? It might just be me having dealt with this a lot in my life, but I would leave her right this second, and go find a Nice girl who doesn't have emotional baggage.

You deserve it dude, good luck whatever you do

BRO FIST

[Anonymous]

Mate I've been there, my ex was like that she even dumped me to sleep with her ex and regretted it calling me crying two days later. I took her back but she kept chatting to him behind my back. I made her block him if she was serious about me and then I threatened him. He later moved on and found a perfect wife. Me on the other hand was left with this alcoholic mess who loved doing drugs and still wasn't all that trustworthy. I found photos of her ex she kept hidden in her house so I ripped them up. I literally helped her move on. Having this on a guys mental health messes things up in the bedroom. Viagra made her completely focus on me 9x in a night the but ultimately in the end I got her all to myself she was wanting a future with me but I realised I dealt with all her drunk abuse. All the gore vids she'd send me whilst at work. Guys havin faces pulled off literally. She used to dump me over everything when drunk and regret the next day before but as I didn't see a future with someone so unstable and the way I was disrespected wasn't what I want in a future wife. The hardest thing is to let go but man you'll be so glad when you're free from someone who has ex baggage. Find a sexy girl who deserves you. Someone who will love you right

[Shameneyes]

I'm so not reading the whole thing and I am shocked that a guy just wrote all of this. However, I did read the summary. Break up, you are way too into this relationship that seem to either lead to a dead end or your girl admitting that she loves her ex. Call it quits and get out of there.

[visual]

Either one, give her time or break up because she doesn't want to let go of him... sad because you do seem like a great guy.

I guess it's up to you as to how long you would wait for her to understand your point of view.

[normalice]

Love is just the excuse people give to justify using people. I don't know why it works.

I'm not consuming all of your attention and preventing you from sleeping with other girls; I love you. It's very different!

[freewill10]

She is talking to him, and she's confused of who she wants, you should say to her that, she needs to stop communication with him, or you will leave her. And do it. It does not look so good. Good luck! She is not telling you all.

[antonlikesmlb]

I'm not reading all that, but ask yourself, why do you want her to say I love you when she doesn't mean it?

[Dilleo22]

What was the point of commenting on this if you won't read the whole thing? This sites for help not people who won't read the whole question!

[antonlikesmlb]

The good news is that there will be a lot of girls that will read the whole thing.

[kambo_trick3y]

I wouldn't deal with that drama baggage bullsh*t to be honest. This is why I don't get into relationships.

[minas]

agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[Anonymous]

WOW. This is a lot of stuff crammed into one block. Can you re-post it with a few paragraph breaks so it's easier to read? I want to offer advice, but the block's hard to read through. :)

[Dilleo22]

Okay sorry ill post it here

My girlfriend got a text from her ex the other day that said I love you which popped up on her phone when she received the message. I was obviosly in shock who wouldn't be my heart just dropped and I instantly got sad.

I never looked at the messages before that I was just sad. She was upstairs when I saw it and never knew I saw it. I later brought it up to her and asked why is she still talking to him and never brought up the love you text part for a while. But

[Opinion Owner]

Oh my... So first she might actually respond by being upset that you looked at her phone. (I know... YOU have the right to be upset that stray guys are saying ILY to your gal!) So she's never said those words to you. Do you think she's been saying it to any other guy, though? She may be waiting for a certain intensity to hit her before she uses it towards you... How long have you been seeing each other?