My boyfriend wants me to stop talking to my ex. But I am unable to. What do I do?

[janedouglas33]

My ex and I have had a long history and we are friends now.

I met my boyfriend a year ago and I love him a lot.

About a month ago, I realized I had unresolved feelings for my ex. So I broke up with my boyfriend to sort my feelings out.

Well now I've realized that I love my boyfriend and no one else and I am 100% sure about him and I want to be with him forever.

I told him that and he told me that he fears this happening again and he asked me to stop talking to my ex. I totally understand his point of view.

I am trying but I am not able to stop talking to my ex. What do I do?

[HandsomeRaj]

This is a decision that you have to make my dear. Asking people only may compound the problem.

Your being sure that your boyfriend is the guy you want 100% is a myth when you aren't able to stop talking to your ex to begin with - that is the general opinion that you'll beget.

But I think I understand where you come from. Your ex and you have been with each other probably for a very long time so long and probably intense (with a lot many crazy secrets too) that letting go of him may not be as easy.

Can't blame your boyfriend for asking you to stop talking to your ex etc. he's justified in his own right.

If the ex is someone you can't stop talking to etc then you'd as well stay with him. But now that you think you want your boyfriend 100%, then you should begin working on lines of keeping your contacts with your ex at bay.

Any other situation I'd have told you to ask your boyfriend to allow you your choice of friends etc but guess that doesn't work here in this case.

[Anonymous]

You are NOT "unable" to stop talking to your ex. You just don't WANT to.

Normally I'm an advocate of the idea that you can be friends with whoever you want. However, you already left your boyfriend once over this guy, so I think he's got every right to expect you to cut him out of your life.

Maybe it will help to think about this: If you KEEP talking to your ex behind your boyfriend's back, he's GOING to find out eventually, and then you're not going to "be with him forever". He's going to kick your ass to the curb.

[standUP]

Your ex is an ex for a reason. The reason doesn't matter. You took time to sort the feelings and realize you LOVE your boyfriend.

If you love him sincerely then respect the relationship. The ex in your mind was more than a friendship. You were flirting with the idea you had more for himIn mind. Now you made a decision. So sacrifice the ex as just that and move on without him. It is not fair to either of you three if you continue to keep that contact.

It may be sad, scary, and doubtful but it is the right decision.

How else would expect things to work if you continue?!

[imagezofyou]

ummm you are confuse my friend. Why would you break up with him in the first place just to sort your feelings? You can just tell him that you need some space. What guy wouldn't feel insecure after you did that to them? You're lucky he's even staying around. This is not fair to him at all. I have a girlfriend now, and she got out of a LTR. If she did this then I don't even know what to say, but I sure will be piss. If you still talking to your ex then its your fault. You don't want the relationship to work. Your not doing your part for it to work.

[AnonGuy23]

It totally depends on the type of conversation you and your ex are having. If you would be comfortable talking to your ex in front of your boyfriend, or having your boyfriend read the messages between the two of you then you should be fine. If not, I think it is unfair to the boyfriend who only has love for you and isn't splitting it between you and an ex of his and you should stop talking to the ex. At least for a while until things cool down, nothing has to be permanent.

[Anonymous]

If you respect and love your boyfriend, you'll cut off the ex. There's no excuse to be friends with someone you had/have feelings for. If he was talking in a similar manner to one or more attractive girls from his past, you wouldn't tolerate it for a minute. Be honest with yourself, and cut off the ex. If you don't want to cut off the ex, then break up with your current boyfriend and get back with the ex.

[ketfoen]

Have your ex killed so he will stop talking?

Your lucky that your boyfriend took you back, which shows what kind of guy he is, if you know 100% you wanna be with him, you'll do what he wishes or your relationship with him is doomed.

[JohnScofield]

you just do it

You tell your Ex that you need to move on, and cannot for the time being be in contact. You ask that he respect that.

if he does, you know what he is about. If he does, then he is a good man that wants good things for you.

[KingsOfleon88]

No guy wants to hear about your ex.