Why do people hate hearing about past relationships?

[Anonymous]

This one guy gets so uncomfortable and frowns when I mentioned that I once kissed a guy a year ago or how this one ex bf use to go to the movies a lot with me. He also doesn't like it when guys hit on me. Seriously though, what's so wrong with talking about something casually and briefly (not too many details) from your past?

[MrOracle]

It makes guys feel insecure. Think about it: when a guy hits on a girl, and she isn't interested in him, one of the first things most girls do is talk about their boyfriend. That instantly tells most guys "forget about this one, she isn't interested." Well, that kind of carries over even if she DOES start going out with him, especially in the beginning.

Unless your guy brings up past relationship experiences, or some other topic where a past relationship is particularly relevant, than just keep that stuff to yourself. If he asks or brings it up, then he's expecting you to talk about it, and you can, but when you bring up other guys from your past on your own, many guys are going to get uncomfortable and insecure.

This isn't a lot different than if he brought up, out of the blue, how hot a past Girlfriend was, or how good she was in bed, or how nice the boobs are on the girl across the room. Wouldn't that make you feel at least a little insecure, and a little disrespected? That's how guys feel.

[Asker]

He actually has brought stuff like that up before. He's also hanging out with a girl if not dating her. Just 2 days ago, he was joiking about how he was going to go make out and get some from this well known "eager" girl (slutty). I couldn't help but give a speechless, hurt & puzzled look and he said "dont worry, I'm just kidding!" I figured, after hearing that he's hanging out with another girl that he wouldn't care if I mentioned something that happened ages ago!

[Theguyoverthere]

Because the past is the past. A couple should be focused on each other, not one focusing on a person who is fixating on another person. If a girl insists on bringing up on ex to me when I did not ask about the relationship I am going to have a thought in the back of my head that mentally, this girl still has this guy in the picture. It may not be I relationship form or anything, but the girl has not mentally/emotionally moved on yet.

As for being hit on, your reaction to being hit on determines whether or not he should be mad. If you're positively responding to these guys and not cutting them off, he should be mad because you're disrespecting him.

Just think about how he feels. Would you want to go on a date with a guy who is going to be talking about his exes and all the kissing + more he's done with them?

[Asker]

We're not dating nor have we. He actually goes on dates with another girl or at least "hangs out with her"...that's why I'm confused. He hasn't made any attempt in the very long time that this has been happening. I was sitting with a girlfriend talking about a guy I once kissed. I was laughing as I turned to him he was scowling and didn't say a word. Does that imply that he actually still cares then?

[toulouse]

i find it important to know about past relationships. I'm not interseed in the girl. I'm interested in the Guys experience, and in how he deals with relationships.

its important to know what I'm getting into, imo.

tho I don't know any guys who didn't talk about past relationships.. albeit at inappropriate times.

[PoeticNinja]

I agree with you on this.

[Asker]

I agree as well. There's no details just mere mention of them.

[Phoenix52]

Because we honestly don't give a sh*t about your past hookups/relationshps/whatever. The past is a done deal and we want to live in the present.

Whatever happened back then means nothing to the current guy in play.

And besides that, if a girl tells me about her ex boyfriends, I'll start thinking of her as a friend and not a potential lover.

How would you like it if the guy you like tells you about the random drunk encounter he had 2 nights ago with a hot cougar? or the hot model ex he still has feelings for? I'm sure one way or another, you'd feel obsolete in some way.

[Asker]

So it's a good thing that a guy is open about discussing exes w one girl, even showing pictures, but I may not see them? I'm not allowed to know?

[dudeman]

its disrespectful that's why