Why doesn't he take it a step further?

[Innocenceltd]

He is my colleague and I like him. We work together since 10 months. Their firm is based in another city, but sometimes they come to the city where I am based, because we work on some projects together. Last week was the third time I saw him (otherwise, we communicate by phone and emails). 2 months ago when they came here, I've realized that I liked him as a man and since than I could not stop thinking about him. It seemed to me that there was a shift from his side as well, as he started calling me much more often etc.

Last Monday was the first day when they came and we were working together the whole day. So in the evening I invited him for a dinner. He agreed and we went out. It was really fun: we had a dinner in a nice restaurant with a bottle of wine and we were talking and laughing a lot (there was no heavy flirt from either side);he insisted to pay for the dinner. I was really happy that evening, but the problem is that afterward nothing has happened. Maybe it was wrong to think so, but I hoped that he would also ask me out afterward. Not only that, but for example when we were going for lunches the following days he'd invite some other colleague as if he didn't want to stay alone with me. Even though he is still really nice with me, he looks and smiles at me, but his behavior this week, made me think that he doesn't like me as a woman. There can also be a factor of being colleagues etc., but he did not hesitate to accept a dinner invitation even for a second and then...He is not exactly a macho type either, he is quite shy actually, but I think I've made the first step, so it would be easy for him to make the second one if he wanted to. Well, maybe I should just forget him. He is coming back next week for 2 more days of work. When I told him, we'd need him for these 2 days he seemed very happy, but now I started doubting that this is all my imagination and he is just being friendly. He will take one month holidays afterward. I guess I should not do anything and see if he shows any interest, because of course I should not invite him twice. Do you think he just doesn't like me? What should I do?

[lovelysecrets33]

Oh dear, I just empathize with you so much in this situation, smh... Well I know you don't wann hear he's a colleague and you should never creep where you sleep and blah blah blah, so o won't then ;-) . So, are there other "factors" involved to. Is he involved? Or are you ? and I'm not judging either. I never do. Things happen I'm aware of that. sooooo,

[Innocenceltd]

Hi,

To the best of my knowledge he doesn't have a girlfriend. Now he is taking a vacation (he didn't take this whole year) with his brother. He lives alone. I just want to understand whether he likes me as a woman. I've been waiting for 2 months to see him, then this dinner and then...nothing, just looks and smiles. He tries to stay around, but at the same time he is kind of afraid (doesn't want?) to stay alone with me. I donno how to react. Asking him out once again doesn't seem like an option.

[lovelysecrets33]

Yes, I agree do not ask him again. u've made a very clear move. I'm sure he will respond. he could be nervous as well, stay away from him until he goes on vacation . He going for a month he should contact you in that Time...but please what ever you do promise me you won't contact him unless its for business and even then absolutely nescessary. Give him a sec to register u. also you go and date too.

[Innocenceltd]

You are right, I should be patient and give him space and time to think about it:)

[Innocenceltd]

...and just dream that he'd kiss me one day:)

[Anonymous]

he might just like you as a friend/colleage. Has he flirted with you at all? like compliments, etc? I think that's a major factor in this. Id look for other signs other than he just smiles at you and sems happy around you. OR, perhaps maybe he is playing it cool because he doesn't know how you feel about him?

[Innocenceltd]

Hi,

Actually I myself did not flirt with him even though I like him a lot. We are colleagues and this makes it difficult to flirt openly. He makes me compliments and we have already said how much we appreciate each others' work. He calls me even for little things that could be sorted out by email. I also look for a reason to call him. All I can say is that these 2 months were quite different from before. I want to take it to another level, but I don't know how (well, I invited him for dinner)..

[Opinion Owner]

I have the same prob, even though a guy might flirt with me, for some reason I'm too shy to let him know I like him back,and its gotten in the way sometimes. I think you need to show him you like him, otherwise he'll just think you are being friendly. I know , the dinner should make it obvious but I guess some guys are oblivious to some signs girls give out.

[Innocenceltd]

I think I would have tried to show him more signs, but the fact that he avoids staying alone with me makes me think that he understands that something is going on. I am actually quite puyyled by this kiind of behavior . If I knew that he liked me and that he was just too shy to ask me out, I'd have done something. But if he doesn't want anything, I don't want to chase after him. I like him so much, I wish there was a means to know what he is thinking...:)

[Ilovegirlsuuu]

Well ! I guess you ought to have patience, and see whether any reaction comes. Just keep things simple and don't make him realize how much you like him... Let him do something too to impress you..