Why won't he take it to the next level?

[Anonymous]

Me and this colleague have been flirting back and forth with each other for quite some months. I know I was the first to start this flirtation but he's been flirting back. I jokingly call him by his name for no reason, I touch him, I stare at him, iniate convo. He touches me, gives me compliments, smiles and winks at me, is protective of me. When I dressed nicely for a party he kept complimenting and staring at me. I thought he liked me somehow. But he's never made a move. I thought he'd ask me out. But nothing. He won't text me to say hello. Why though?

[Anonymous]

Maybe he’s not sure whether you’re just joking around or not, or he’s not sure if he wants to date a coworker. Why not text him first and see how he responds to that?

[Asker]

I'm afraid to do that. I don't know how would it go and I think of the worst scenario.

[Opinion Owner]

You were bold enough to start flirting so I’m sure you can shoot him a text and ask him out ;) you got this!!

[Asker]

Oh no! Ask him out? I can't do this.

[Asker]

What if he wouldn't want that?

[Opinion Owner]

Well first, have you confirmed that he is single? Has he ever flirted with you first? I think since you guys are coworkers, you can definitely ask him out for some coffee after work or a quick lunch together. Just make it sound casual that way there’s less pressure on the both of you.

[Asker]

I have confirmed that he is not married or engaged. But I don't think he has a girlfriend although he might have. Anyway, even if he were single I won't ask him out. Asking out a guy has never worked for me and it has made me think that I have gone too far when I had the obvious signs in front of me. What is stopping him from asking me out? He probably doesn't like me enough to make a move.

[nonyabeez-wax]

Its simple really. He's not sure because there's a lot of "flirty" girls who behave like that, so he might not realize that you actually do like him.

You're gonna have to make the first move.

Be confident. Guys like occasionally being pursued. In fact, as long as you have a repore with him, like you've discribed, he's not likely to turn you down if you do make the first move.

[Asker]

I like your answer very much. And I agree with you but I am toooo scared to make the first move. I have asked out guys in the past and it never worked out. So you can understand why I wouldn't do that.

[nonyabeez-wax]

That's understandable. Just make sure you're asking for something reasonable like getting coffee. Something he's not going to feel as though you're imposing cost on him. (The guy paying for the first date rule. Coupled with (not you, but other women) women then abusing that to order expensive dinners on the first date, have left many men scarred.) Coffee is cheap, and if you tell him you'll pay your way, he should be at least curious. Guys aren't like women. As long as you don't ask "why", the worst 99% of men will say is "no".

It'll be okay.

[boggboss]

Maybe he is too shy to take the first step

[shades777]

he might have a girlfriend and needs a side piece

[Asker]

He doesn't seem that type of guy. But I wouldn't deny that it's possible.

[Danny_dan92]

He’s gay

[Asker]

Nooooooooo

[Danny_dan92]

Yyyyyess

[Asker]

No he is not gay.

[Danny_dan92]

Yes he is

[In_Trance]

He's married

[Asker]

I have confirmed that he isn't married or engaged to anyone.