Help! My girlfriend said she cheated on me when she was angry with me, then took it back after

Question

Me and my girlfriend got into a big fight, she was trying to hurt me by being rude and it did not seem to work, I could tell I was making her much angrier than she was making me. finally I was leaving and she told me 'oh yeah? well I've been cheating on you,' and closed the door. I was really hurt and upset, id didn't talk to her for a while and when I did I was like what the hell was that I can't date you, to which she responded that she knew that would hurt me and that's why she said it, although it "wasnt true". Now I don't know what to believe, I want to believe her becuase I love her and I really think she is the one, but I could never be with someone who would cheat. Is this something a girl would really say 'just to piss someone off', or is it the truth and she really did cheat and then just didn't want to tell me

honeyltsme · Accepted Answer

Be careful - true love betrayed can sometimes make good people do terrible things or become terrible for good if it goes unhandled and is eating at you. What you need is your own guilt to wash away your own anger.

Sit her down and talk to her about it. Be like "Baby, you're in favor of being honest and in communication - all girls want to communicate with their true mates heart to heart - so let's communicate". Get as much information as possible (not the jealous type "did you like it better bla bla") but the basic facts - how many times, how many guys, where it took place, what was the initial push to do it, etc.

My suggestion rather than angrily and pathetically cheat for the sake of cheating, or painfully break it off, after you have that conversation, pull back on the boyfriend stuff gradually but keep giving her the sexual attention and not forget your satisfaction in the process. As you pull back the balance of power will shift naturally and without any painful fights in your favor at which point you can entertain the idea of who else is out there for you while you both are in the FWB relationship. I know it may be painful to let go of a partner you love, but it is also very myopic to think she is the only one out there. She will cheat again.

Gone_But_Not_Lost · Accepted Answer

It shouldn't matter. Whether she lied about cheating specifically to hurt you, or actually cheated, it doesn't matter. It says she's unstable. It says she can't be trusted. It says she will do things to hurt you. More than likely she actually was cheating on you, but even if she didn't, it doesn't matter. Kick her to the curb, walk away, find someone better who isn't a total cunt, and never look back. Even if you DO end up with another cunt, just repeat the process until you find a girl who isn't. Never look back.

AnnaTheAnnaa · Accepted Answer

I think, for sure that she cheated. To say something like that she has to at least have a little something to build on, that was wrong, either it was flirting or kissing or more. I did that once, my ex-boyfriend cheated on me, and then long after it ended we had a fight, and I then admited, just to make him suffer, that days after he cheated, I 'revenge'-cheated back. I know, it was the worst thing ever. But anyways, it's true. Break up with her!

Owlett90 · Accepted Answer

She cheated, time to move on honey even if she didn't which I highly doubt. You will always be asking yourself if she did or still is. It will eat you alive and make you bitter. Its also not healthy to be with someone who wants to hurt you like that. Girls would normally say something like "Your d*** is small." Or "You such at sex." Not I am f***ing other people. I would let it go before it crushes your soul but that's just me and my opinion.

luna33 · Accepted Answer

it all depends on the discussion you were having,what was all about.  Usually girls don't say that kind of things just because they are angry but because they mean it! So you need to talk to her but it sounds to me that is true,who knows only her. Is not a nice way to get back at you! Not smart.

LoviaLovelyLover123 · Accepted Answer

this is hard I don't think she did but if she did talk to her say tell me the truth I won't get mad at the truth at least you tell me  and if she said she did then maybe break up if she said no then believe her cuzz girls are like that I know that  cuzz I'm one <3

AltoonaYourPiano · Answer

One thing I've learned is that the truth often comes out in anger. Nobody would ever make something like THAT up just to get someone's goat just because they're mad at them. If she was trying to bug you, she might have just used ad hominems. Something like that...she is cheating on you, but she "took it back" because she's afraid of losing her little love triangle setup, one guy for the romance, one guy for the sex. Whichever one you are in this situation (if you've been with her long term, you're probably the one she's getting romance from), you're getting a raw deal.

How I know this: Experience

asdaven · Answer

Either dump her or get past this. Tell her look, I'm sick of playing games and that you deserve the truth . Make her look you in the eye and with a straight face tell you truth. If she is edgy she is lying. I would forgive her if she truly just said that she cheated but truly didint, although its a juvenile move let it go. If she cheated,  that automatically implys breakup.  If somebody goes out and cheats on my because they're mad at me is inexcusable and unforgivable. That is the ultimate most hurtful thing somebody could do in a relationship, even worse than dumping someone.  Sure, your mad at someone you back away for a couple day because your mad. But, it doesn't come close to justify cheating.

Ingrid422 · Answer

Jeez what a f***er. Dump her ass, who the hell makes up stuff like that. She needs to grow up and get that handed to her. She shouldn't have played with you like that. How does she expect you to believe anything she tells you from now on. You just can't and it's all her fault. She f***ed up, so time to end things I think.

confusedgirl239 · Answer

I honestly don't think she would lie about that in the first place. I think she's just trying to take it back now because she wants you back. In the heat of the moment, she was just so angry that she wasn't thinking and didn't care what she was saying, she wanted to hurt you the most she could. But I don't think that's something you make up. I don't know. If you think she's telling the truth now, then you have to decide, but it seems really shady to me.

Meedo · Answer

This is eating you up... it is a hard situation and very stupid of her... stuff like that shouldn't be toyed with .. and if she is willing to hurt you once with a comment like this.. ...welcome to hell for the rest of your relationship because this is not the last time you guys are going to fight and every time you will fight you will be wondering if she is cheating or not .

Get me ?

MasqueradeMassacre · Answer

I had an ex girlfriend who had said that to me, and yes she did do it. She told all her friends and everything. I'd say dump her ass because sometimes when a girl (ESPECIALLY A GIRL) is angry, the truth comes out. So, dump her ass because that's just wrong, I'm sorry that it's eating you up, if you need anyone to talk to you can add me.

AndyWes · Answer

Dump her. Seriously, use logic.  You can't really know if she cheated or not, but you have absolute proof she is a liar. And if a girl will lie to you, she'll cheat on you.

tweetumzz · Answer

what do you think of your girlfriend, her personality? is she the type who can be trusted? if yes MOST likely she did not cheat and its just her way to piss you off

AnnieVincereVelMori · Answer

I would NEVER say that unless I actually did do it.

Anonymous · Answer

I would leave her right this second. Even if she was lying and didn't cheat on you, this kind of lie is a sign that she's manipulative. So, run, run as fast as you can.

orochi · Answer

Well, if I was in your shoes I'd get the hell outta dodge ASAP, regardless of whether or not she cheated. That sounds like one ticking time bomb of an unhealthy relationship to me.

gonyr · Answer

Even if its a lie you should dump her anyway.  If you do at to someone you don't respect them

Shadoww · Answer

I think she cheated because no one would say that. Sometimes the truth comes out when your angry.

Anonymous · Answer

i think you should cheat on her  because she obviously cheated on you

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