Basically she told me she is more into her best friend than she is with me. She never physically cheated with him while I have been in the picture, but she has emotionally cheated by being closer to him than with me, telling him stuff and not telling me, etc. Now she is mad at me because I made her feel guilty when she thinks she did nothing wrong, since she says that she "can't control who she is attracted to and can't control her feelings". I think she should feel guilty and has no right to be mad at me, the victim here. What do you think?
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Make Her Understand That This Is Not Only Inappropriate, But A Serious Problem: Again, your biggest initial hurdle is going to be to make her admit or understand that this is a problem. Because, at least initially, she will downplay this and act as though you are seriously paranoid or overreacting. Sure, they're just friends and perhaps but that doesn't make this right and doesn't mean that it hurts you any less.
So, you want to be as calm as you can when you bring this up, but bring it up you must. To fix this issue, you must identify it and to lay your cards on the table. You don't have to be ugly about this, but you must make her understand that this is hurtful, it is inappropriate, and it must stop. At a time when you are both calm, tell her that you're hurt and upset by the emotional closeness that you are witnessing between him and her. Ask that she not interrupt you, but to just listen. Tell her that you need to and want to be the one with whom she shares her troubles, thoughts, and feelings. Ask her how she would feel if you were getting a similar pay off or connection from a female coworker or friend. (If you have a similar relationship, you also must end it.) Stress that this hurts and troubles you every bit as much as a physical relationship and that you would like for her to respect your feelings, as you would do the same for her. Have this conversation only if your willing to save your relationship. You must NOT allow to play the victim or turn the table on you. You must resist and put your foot down. IF she has such a strong connection with him maybe, as much as it hurts, allow her to walk away from the relationship. Tell her that as much as in pains you you will let her be. Trust me the grass always looks greener on the other side. But it usually isn't.