How to save a relationship, when girlfriend has depression, and pushing me away?

[Anonymous]

ok, I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 2 years, I'm 27 she's 25. Everything has been great and both very much in love and happy. she's been through a lot in the past year with a close family member being very ill, an abusive ex (father of her child) still trying to get acces, and working and bringing up the child. she's been depressed for last 2 months, and been pushing me away a lot and I've tried to give her space, she says she still loves me but doesn't know why she pushes me away, meeting up next week after a few days space. Just looking for advice on what to do, how to handle the situation best

[madhatters4]

I've dealt with the depressed and it's tough if not impossible at times. One thing you have to understand is that you can't change her circumstances you can only try and make things as easy as possible but even then it may not be enough. Ultimately she is going to need professional help and possible medication (if she is dealing with real clinical depression).

I dated a girl who was bi-polar and I loved her to death. When she was on one of her highs she was easily the most attractive person in the world but when she got down it was hellish and as much as I tried to be patient, loving, kind, undestanding etc, it didn't help.

I think to save it you need to have her really deal head on with her depression. Whether that is therapy or medication she is going to need help and for most people depression isn't really something they can handle without professional help... Her getting help has to start before you can really save your relationship otherwise you are going to be fighting a constant uphill battle with a person who is fighting both an internal and external battle.

good luck! I'd be interested to hear how things go

[merc908]

I am in the same situation as you are and it is very hard at times it will feel like she is tearing the heart out of you. Just remember it is the depression talking deep down she still loves you, give it time and give her the space she asks for and you will get her back but remember it takes time. Don't give up of you truly love her.

[arabwoman]

depression is something she can't handle.by what you mentioned she's been through a lot so just give her her space if that's what she wants.it might be hard on you but if you really like her you will be patient.i guess maybe she does want to make you feel uncomfortable that's maybe why she's pushing you away.she says she loves you that's what's important.shes just going through a hard time in her life.next time you see her ask her if she needs anything at all to call you good luck its tough to see your loved one depressed