Most Helpful Girl
First you have to realize and ACCEPT the type of person your girlfriend is. She sounds controlling, possessive, and emotionally detached.
YOU don't possess any super powers to change a DAMN thing about her, she is, who she is. Now this dosen't mean That you HAVE to put up with her. You can, however choose to set boundaries and rules.
You actually have a few options. First you need to asses whether you are an emotional masochist or if you have a fetish/attraction to aggressive women. Continually putting up abusive behavior, or behavior that constantly hurts you COULD indicate that on SOME level you derrive pleasure from the hurt and the drama. THIS ISN'T A BAD THING if you actually do enjoy it , it explains WHY you put up with the torture and abuse.
If you aren't a masochist, and don't have a fetish, you STILL have a few options.
1.)You can assess that no matter what you do, or what you have it will never be good enough, and that your relationship is more of a burden than a compliment/pleasure and Cut her out of your like 100%
2.) You could cheat on her and see if that would tern her around. (gauging her narcissim from your examples, She would only see FAULT IN YOU and make you repent for your disloyalty towards her). In other words, if you aren't over her, and still want her, cheating on her would give HER all of the power since YOU crossed the boundaries.
3.) If you STILL are in love with her but want to see other people, suggest an open relationship to her. Suggest that you two stay committed to each other, but you go to other people for your sexual/emotional needs.
4.) Get relationship counseling.
I would recommend you talk to her, but People in relationships always have a tendency to project ALL of the problems on their partner. We don't Know HER side of the story and what YOU may be doing wrong. But even taking your testimony at 100% value, No one likes to be blamed and accused of doing wrong. She could shut down and shut you out if you blame her for everything. So its best to involve a professional to help you two COMMUNICATE with each other.
Point blank it doesn't sound like you two are on the same page. It sounds like you're looking for something serious and she's looking for something casual.
the one thing about being in our age group is that We haven't experienced much in life. Contrary to social belief us women CAN FEAR COMMITMENT JUST AS MUCH IF NOT MORE THAN MEN DO. Especially if we never got the chance to experience life or our freedom as an adult.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!