Well I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. We'll be a year on May 30th. In the beggining none of us really had any expensive clothes cars or anything we we're starting from nothing and planning on growing on being a strong couple who could support ourselfs. When about 3 months hit, I started catching her talking to other guys on Facebook and through tumblr and stuff. So I called her out for it and told her to either cut the sh*t out or get out of my life, because I don't talk to any females other than my blood family. She than told me she was doing it behind my back again at 5 months so I flipped out and I shoved her around for it but I didn't lay my hands on her. We got back together around that month my best friend got hit by a car and passed away. It was a time in need and all she could think about was breaking up with me and flirting with other guys. So I than started talking to another girl who made her jealous. So eventually she tried to get me back and I did because I was inlove with her. Since then She's always talked to me with disrespect and always threatens to break up with me if I chill with my friends or if I text her late, small stuff. Today is just the day that I'm starting to grow tired of the disrespect she shows torwards me. I recently aquired a job & a car and when I talk about my goals in life she takes offense to it and starts talking down on me to the point to where I have no other choice but to defend myself with words that I don't want to say to her because she is very immature. How can I get her to give me the respect I need? Do I have to cheat on her to get it through her mind? Other females aren't hard to get for me at all , the same as guys are for her. I don't want to break up with her because I have the fear of seeing her with another man. even though I could be with plenty of girls if I wanted.
Most Helpful Girl
First you have to realize and ACCEPT the type of person your girlfriend is. She sounds controlling, possessive, and emotionally detached.
YOU don't possess any super powers to change a DAMN thing about her, she is, who she is. Now this dosen't mean That you HAVE to put up with her. You can, however choose to set boundaries and rules.
You actually have a few options. First you need to asses whether you are an emotional masochist or if you have a fetish/attraction to aggressive women. Continually putting up abusive behavior, or behavior that constantly hurts you COULD indicate that on SOME level you derrive pleasure from the hurt and the drama. THIS ISN'T A BAD THING if you actually do enjoy it , it explains WHY you put up with the torture and abuse.
If you aren't a masochist, and don't have a fetish, you STILL have a few options.
1.)You can assess that no matter what you do, or what you have it will never be good enough, and that your relationship is more of a burden than a compliment/pleasure and Cut her out of your like 100%
2.) You could cheat on her and see if that would tern her around. (gauging her narcissim from your examples, She would only see FAULT IN YOU and make you repent for your disloyalty towards her). In other words, if you aren't over her, and still want her, cheating on her would give HER all of the power since YOU crossed the boundaries.
3.) If you STILL are in love with her but want to see other people, suggest an open relationship to her. Suggest that you two stay committed to each other, but you go to other people for your sexual/emotional needs.
4.) Get relationship counseling.
I would recommend you talk to her, but People in relationships always have a tendency to project ALL of the problems on their partner. We don't Know HER side of the story and what YOU may be doing wrong. But even taking your testimony at 100% value, No one likes to be blamed and accused of doing wrong. She could shut down and shut you out if you blame her for everything. So its best to involve a professional to help you two COMMUNICATE with each other.
Point blank it doesn't sound like you two are on the same page. It sounds like you're looking for something serious and she's looking for something casual.
the one thing about being in our age group is that We haven't experienced much in life. Contrary to social belief us women CAN FEAR COMMITMENT JUST AS MUCH IF NOT MORE THAN MEN DO. Especially if we never got the chance to experience life or our freedom as an adult.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!0