My ex-boyfriend unfollowed me on instagram. Why?

I know this is a very shallow question, I mean who the hell cares? It’s instagram, for Pete’s sake! I should just cry it out, have a drink, and let it go...

But it's only been a couple of weeks since he broke up with me, with still some very strong feelings and even crying during the break up. The reason? He felt like it was getting too serious, that he saw me as a life time partner but he was too young, lost and needed to focus on himself before having such a serious relationship, he couldn't give me what I wanted...he was acting really cold and distant before the breakup, not writing, calling me and getting angry for the stupidest things, his feelings for me somehow decreased. And I know I haven't been perfect either, maybe I asked for too much, but I still believed we would do some efforts and work on this relationship of one year. til the very end...Instead he wanted to break up, and I let him go telling him if he was determined to leave, I will not stand in his way.

The last thing I want to be is the girl who would beg for him to stay when he clearly don't feel like it (what's the point of being with someone who doesn't even know what he feels for you anymore and started treating you so badly?). So I told him it would be preferable if we didn't talk to each other for a while because I was too hurt, but still remain in contact later on when things will be less heated up, he answered that if we're meant to be will find a way to each other and that he wanted to keep in touch and he understood if I didn't want to talk to him for a while since he made me suffer too much.
ex-boyfriend unfollowed on instagram
ex-boyfriend unfollowed on instagram
I was the first girl he ever fell in love with, but somehow with this unfollowing thing on instagram, I feel confused, he kept all of his ex's but I was simply dismissed. I feel like he wants to move on so quickly, and that he would not be this kind of person, I mean I'm still following him, even though it hurts I don't want to just erase him out of my life as if nothing ever happened.

I still care for him, we're already not talking to each other for now...why jump to this so fast? We're still friends on Facebook, I'm not very active on there so maybe he won't unfriend me (but that's still a harsh possibility). I'm pretty active on instagram as it's more private. Maybe he's sick and tired of seeing me? I have no idea what could possibly go through his head, as a guy could someone help me understand? I would be very thankful and I know I shouldn't over-think this kind of things, but you know...When someone counted this much for you you just lose it for the most smallest things.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • He's really responding from some place of shame or fear... is he a lot younger or just not ready? You obviously meant something to him the others don't... that's why he stays with them, they don't mean so much or get as close to him... so he is safe. you got close to his heart/soul and he freaked at how vulnerable he is or that he isn't ready. Basically, he's an immature boy and wasn't ready to handle that. It could also be you were too aggressive in pushing... an issue on your side... being needy?

    Attraction is subconscious (like you don't decide it consciously, it is stuff from your past deciding it). And often, it is not good... like the mom who controlled him, he goes for a controlling woman... as example. Your dad left your mom, so you go for a guy that is weak... as example. He may have seen in you whatever that was, and it drummed up pain. WARNING: it seems there was connection, but it may be a bad one. If he shows up again, counseling required to navigate it... or else!

    If you were intimate with him, then all the worse and more difficult this is on both sides.

    As to what is wrong, it sounds like he isn't ready! thus, when he is, he may be back.

    if that is your photo, you are excptionally attractive 9-10, it isn't a competition thing or someone else (in looks alone).

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  • So you answered your question in the first mini-graph meaning that you're looking for consolation that you dated someone who was (objectively) a moron who took to the oldest nonsense EVER CREATED as a reason to escape the pressures that he was feeling. Normally I wouldn't touch this with a 20 foot pole ATTACHED to a 200 foot pole but I feel bad for you simply because he even fed you the textbook "If we're meant to be, we will be" bullsh*t.

    You cry over a man you should beat. Think how cliche EVERYTHING sounds for a moment; you talk about not wanting to be the girl standing in his way, I get that, but take note of how this dude is "that guy" from that one sh*tty ass movie who somehow screws sh*t up and then magically gets his act together, comes back, and in a little while is just as sh*tty as he started. Remember that romantic tragedy comedy thing? No? Oh. Well. Whatever it's him; he's literally a trope, so ...

    That's like crying over a cartoon character. Yes, I get it, emotional investment, boohoo, don't get wrong you have plenty of reason to cry but please put it in perspective. Dis hoe be like "I can't stand to look at the love of my life which I abandoned so I'mma have to just not stare at her because ... " <<<<< HOW THE F*** IS THAT LOGIC?

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    • not stare at her because...I'm a moron? I got what you were saying :)

      Your answer made my day, ha ha Thank you for your time and consideration.I'm not looking for consolation to be honest (knowing the question is quite, well...pathetic), just a guy's perspective on this, he's my first serious relationship, and also my first break up, I needed some explanation either negative or positive to see things clearly and finally move on the right way.

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    • But he's the type who's too proud so will see maybe he will, maybe he won't. In any case...I'm even prouder so don't worry I won't make any moves because I'm not the one who decided to end up our relationship.

      Bet is on! :)

    • Wondrous.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm not a guy, but I will answer your question.
    Breakups are never easy and the more you care for the other the harder it is. The last time I broke up with someone I stopped wanting to see their posts. Not because I didn't care, not because I didn't want to see them, but because seeing them made it hurt like hell and I didn't want to feel like that. The less you follow their updates, the easier it is for you to breath. To try to get your life back together. To not feel like shit all the time. It's like no contact, not talking to one another, because it makes it all that more difficult and painful.
    It's possible he will want to follow you again after he gets through the worst, but let him have some peace for the moment. Apparently he needs it. And don't take it on yourself, it doesn't have to mean he doesn't care or want to be in contact ever again. It might just be the opposite. It was for me.

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  • Girl, as crazy as it sounds, ironically I'm in your SAME position right now! It hurts so bad, and all I could do is stay serious. Except in my case, he started following a girl he liked before me, but still unfollowed me. It made me mad but I can't say anything because after he dumped me, I started following my ex. I hate all this situation

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What Guys Said 22

  • It's more than likely that he kept going back to look at your page, then feeling miserable.

    To stop the self-destructive behavior , he unfollows you completely.

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    • So you think that could be the reason...I can understand, my heart beats much faster when I see something of him pop up on my dash :( I just hope he's not doing it as a mean/punishing thing.

    • and thank you for your answer and help :)

  • I unfollowed my ex on instagram too but only because it hurt so much to watch her life from the sidelines. It may not be that he doesn't care, but that he cares too much.

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    • Yes, I mean it hurts to now learn through a social media platform what's happening in this person's life, this person who used to mean so much, and now you're not talking anymore and you're not part of his or her life...Makes you wonder how did things end up like this, and makes you sad.

  • He is a disease. Thank God that you are out of that. Go back and read what you wrote. You are an emotionally abused woman. You should NOT be following him on FB and Instagram. Move on. Freedom. FREEDOM. Smell the fresh air.

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    • Easy to say, but not so easy to do, but you're probably right :( I was treated really badly these past few months and feel like I should be happy that this is over, but it will take some time I guess :) Thank you for your answer and help!

  • Yeah, I agree with blackkid.

    Also, french girls are hot.

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  • I know this is a very shallow question, I mean who the hell cares? It’s instagram, for Pete’s sake! I should just cry it out, have a drink, and let it go...

    But...

    I stopped reading. No one cares.

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  • Sounds to me he just doesn't wanna see you or hear from you as it would make the break up harder and more difficult to move on, and he is right, if you loved someone this much and you break up, you won't easily forget him/her unless you distance yourself from them, and that includes deleting all social media and avoiding seeing them at all.

    I am more concern about you not wanting to let go yet, he broke up with you, he clearly wasn't ready for a serious relationship, so I think you need to realize that and move on, you don't deserve someone that loves you half way, or is not commited to be with you 100%, even thou is not easy to do so, you should try.

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  • Well, it could be his ego or anger towards you but, men get over pretty quick so, you could consider he's moved on.

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    • thank you, out of the rest of the comments yours is the only one that isn’t coming at me thanks for your answer

    • I think, you should try meeting him in person if possible.

  • Probably decided to resort to other measures of getting over you after his first or first few attempts were unsuccessful.

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    • But I never replied to his breakup text, or tried to get in touch with him or anything. I haven't posted anything on Instagram either apart from liking a few pics and follow back 3 dudes yesterday...

    • Maybe he only thought of unfollowing two weeks later. It's clear he doesn't want a relationship, so I don't think you should let it bother you that it took him two weeks to unfollow you.

  • Could be attention seeking, did it to a girl once cause I used to jerk off over her pictures n wanted to stop, could be to try n hurt you cause he feels hurt; he may be only one who knows why...

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  • Don't worry about it, he just want to move on and seeing pics of you wouldn't help him. If you still like him why don't you work it out again with him, 3 weeks is a long time, you must have really liked him ( I don't know a lot about the whole story, so if not then sorry.) Maybe you should unfollow him too. :)
    You should get more followers there so you can not even think about him there :D
    www.instavertize.com/.../

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What Girls Said 14

  • He doesn't need your feed popping while he is trying to move on. My advice : once you feel ready, take a step back and look for the reasons you wanted a relationship with him especially, like what can he really bring?

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  • I don't know.. my ex is still following me even though we never talk. Maybe he thought it's not such a big deal to still follow you but when he realised he can't see you anymore in his ig feed. Or maybe he needed a few weeks to fully let you go..

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    • Well he still has me on Facebook though... He deleted me from Snapchat and instagram. He's the one who left, he could have done this earlier on... Not as if I was active on it...

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    • Thanks, I just didn't understand his way of breaking up. He wanted to first have a chat, then waited 2 days to tell me he'd call me and then told me he wasn't ready through text but that I can call him to speak about it. Never did cause it was a cowardly way to breakup. Now, exactly 2 weeks after he dumped me, he unfollowed me... I don't know if he wants to hurt me or really has moved on. He's just the weirdest guy I've met!

    • I know the type. They can't tell it to your face or at least through the phone so they write a message. Cowardly indeed and not the type of man that you deserve. Don't think too much about his motives but be certain that he knows that his behaviour was immature as heck or if he doesn't he will realise this eventually. For all you know he might still stalk you on social media everyday just to see if you are better without him or not.

  • HE STILL HAVE FEELING FOR YOU JUST THAT HE IS MAKING SURE YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT HANDS MAYBE HE THINKS HE doesn't SUITS YOU HE WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU

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  • You are his ex and there's no reason for him to remain involved in your life in any way even on social media. Him unfollowing you is apart of his process of moving on. None of the other stuff you mentioned really matters. You two are not together anymore so it does not good for you nor him to be peeking into your life, looking at your pictures, and seeing another in a way that may bring up feelings since you two officially have no romantic future together. He's moving forward emotionally and you need to as well.

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  • 3 options in my opinion:
    - he thinks you're posting things to get his attention and by unfollowing you he wants you to know there is no chance
    - he is hurting, can't cope with the pain by seeing your posts

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  • Why is this question coming up after 2 years? LOL

    And how is it still open for opinions?

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  • he's moving on. You should do the same too. You can't make someone stay when they dont want to. Sorry.

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  • Wow this seems like a thing many dudes do lol.
    Maybe he's just trying to move on, just ley him go he isn't worthy of your tears girl 💁🏻

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  • I think that he's very confused too and probably has lots of feeling for you so he cut all ways to see you for now so he's not reminded of you

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  • im too busy for this stuff... i have to go pick up my great greeat grandmother fromt he airport

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