What do you think of cheating enablers?

[Anonymous]

Ex: Family and Friends. If cheating is wrong doesn't it help not spending so many years with the cheater. Cheater enablers make you stay longer with the cheater covering up for them.

[Jonny_]

I'm assuming you mean people who know about it but say and do nothing? It's easy to see it your way and to have a black and white view of 'it's wrong, do something about that'. But it's none of anyone else's business and getting involved gets you in trouble, one of those two people (possibly both) will hate you and probably want to take revenge, on top of that they mightn't even believe you. I've tried in the past to tell people that someone else was a cheater, but they do what they want anyway. Now I don't bother. So it doesn't really bother me that there are people 'enabling' cheating.

[Jade4]

But wouldn't you feel terrible if someone was cheating on you and all your friends and family knew and didn't say anything? Wouldn't you feel humiliated and betrayed? Surely there's a middle ground...saying I've seen some stuff, just look out for yourself and then butting out while they sort it, for eg?

[Jonny_]

No, I mean for one thing how would I ever find out that they ever knew if they didn't say anything? Plus it's no less upsetting and as I've said depending on the person I probably wouldn't believe them. Anyway I'd obviously understand since I'd also keep out of the same situation, for me knowing that someone is cheating on me earlier... doesn't lessen the blow for me. Plus having people you know, know that someone is cheating on you is depressing enough when you think about it.

[Asker]

I feel when you have cheating enablers you start to trust them less.

[Jade4]

I think if you think something is wrong you say so. If you keep the secret your essentially helping someone do something you think is wrong aka giving them a grudging it's OK. But...I would only report stuff I have direct knowledge of. If someone said something had happened that's only a rumour and ill not break up people for a rumour. If I heard lots of rumours I'd say that I was hearing lots of rumours and maybe they should talk to the people involved. If I see something then ill do something. I hope this makes sense!