Guys: Do's and Don'ts for any date

[Basketballchick4eva]

So basically I've asked friends, family everyone what they think a man should and should not do on a date. So lets get stuck into it!!

Dont be late! When it comes to women waiting for a guy to show up for a date, we're not overly good at it, lets just say the term "fashionably late" accounts for nothing on a first date!

Do not be a slob when it comes to eating. We dont exactly want to see how many times you chew your food before washing it down with your drink. If we're out and it doesn't even matter where try to be classy with the digestion of your food.

Make sure you are dressed for the occassion. If you're going to a nice restaurant then wear the right attire for it, the same goes for if you're going to a skatepark or a basketball game where the proper stuff, for instance if you're going to a really nice restaurant the girl is obviousy going to wear a dress of some sort, your job is to match her and wear a suit! Also if a guy smells good he is immediately made that much more attractive!!

Be a gentleman! It doesn't matter where you are every woman wants to be complimented and acknowledged, we want the whole stereotypical gentleman who we can go out with and their eyes are on us and us only, no sneaky looks at the girl across the room in the skimpy dress! We want the guy who will pull our seats out for us, who will open doors for you and who will brush the hair out of our faces. The guy who will make eye contact with you and who will just listen to what you have to say with such intensity that you know he actually wants to know what you have to say. We want one of them.

We DO NOT want to know about your past relationships or how good you are in bed, so kindly keep those things to yourself. Thats fairly straight up.

Give us something to talk about. If a guy is constantly agreeing with what we are saying it gets more then a little aggitating we want somebody who will challenge us and make us think about something and why we come to a certain conclusion, we can't do that if your agreeing with everything, we want a debate and by giving us that you show that you have brains which is actually really sexy if its not overboard.

Okay so next I personally am not a very big fan of drinkers, so if I'm on a date with a guy I can guarantee I wouldn't appreciate him getting drunk of his head, as I'm sure a lot of woman would agree that it is quite unattractive being on a date with a guy who in the ends up slurring his words and talking nonsense cause he's wasted, so DO NOT get drunk on a date.

Dont spend the night complimenting us because in the end it ends up being awkward and we do believe it or not get uncomfortable after like the 3rd compliment, a date can't revolve are two people talking about how "great" the other persons eyes are or how "stunning" someones face is! like Geez you might aswell turn around and just be like "I want to make out with your face" which by the way you should definitely not do!!

Okay next while us females do like talking we can't hold a conversation with ourselves, yes while asking a female about herself is a good thing and shows that your interested we'd like to know a bit about you aswell, like whats your favorite sport? Dream car? favorite actor? Do you believe dance is a sport? so on so forth we want to know about you!!

A massive no is phones... During a date keep the damned thing off, we dont want to hear your phone buzzing while we are eating or while we are having a conversation! We dont want to have to pause a conversation while you answer your phone! We DONT want to be in a restaurant and see the luminescent light casting all sorts of ungodly shadows along your face so turn it off!!

And seeing as I can't really think of anything else we'll wrap it up with this...

Who pays? While I said I wanted a gentleman, I personally have a strict "no one pays for me" rule!! However some women might like that thing, to decide which one you have Insist upon paying the bill, if they refuse and are quite stubborn on the matter and begin to get worked up about it, do not persist split it, because believe me if you pay for it by yourself or let them pay then carefully sneak their $30 bill into their mail box, they will lose it and could possibly be quite angry for their next date.

That's all I really have feel free to add things onto the list and to leave your opinions on whether this helped or not.

Oh Oh Oh and after the date dont sit in you car and watch her walk to the front of her house get out and walk her to her front door step, take her hand, thank her for the night and if you want to kiss her, do it!! aslong as its on the hand because that is some serious class!!

[OlderAndWiser]

Being a gentleman and engaging in chivalrous behavior is never done because women are too weak to open doors, don't know how to order from the menu, or whatever. Chivalrous behaviors show that 1) we are truly men, and not just boys who grew up, and 2) we respect women. The key word there is "respect," and I have never had a women reject my chivalrous efforts, because I always showed them respect. So, I expect to pay the tab when I ask a woman for a date, but I would not disrespect her and have an argument about splitting the tab or her paying the tab.

[Phoenix98]

Actually Chivaruly has very little to do with women or respecting them it is one small piece of a much larger code, sadly no one even bothers to read or obey the full code only the bits of pieces we hear over and over again.

[OlderAndWiser]

Chivalry may relate to some ancient code of conduct but my opinion relates to chivalry as it is practiced by gentleman at present. Today, I believe chivalry is related to respect. . . but everyone will not agree with me. Respect and appreciation are why I try to act like a gentleman at all times.

[kittykatbrat]

Expectations about anything will always lead to disappointment

The best dates are when you are both totally true to yourselves and the other person
is immediately magnetised by it.

[RexCatholicissimus]

This girl get's it.

[Nomad2]

nice take! haha I love that Who Pays section especially. On 3rd or 4th date with the same guy, who I really liked, we went to this trendy and a little more dear than other places. When the bill was put on other table, I offered to cover it as it was my idea to have a dinner at that place, plus he was very generous with previous bills, which I explained to him. My dates said something like no you can't pay this. Well :) I got up and told him Just watch me :) went to the desk and fixed the bill like a boss. We went out again a couple of times before the guy realised he might have bitten off more than he could chew with me... sadly :( Being a lady is an art at all times. Being a modern lady is a balancing act of strength and vulnerabilities I guess - lots of guys expect you be have an opinion and be able to voice it, contribute and so on, which is fair enough. However, often, I find, when I actually do try to meet those expectations, the guys find me way either too independent and then back off, or in the worst case - they try to bring you down or compete with you. I realise that not all the men are like that just talking from my personal experience :( I would like a gentleman, but I am a capable girl who can take care of herself and if a guys best shot with letting me feel like a woman is SAYING NO YOU CAN'T - I sure find a way to show YES I CAN :)

[Basketballchick4eva]

It seems guys also expect women to make the decisions these days, which is kinda frustrating because I NEVER make decisions so they get a little startled when I tell them to pick what movie or what flavour ice-cream

[hypno-trip]

@takeowner I find that trait annoying tbh I'm like "have some of your own opinions of stuff please!"

[Nomad2]

if may i suggest you two- never go on a date with one another xox

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ahaha I wouldn't plan on dating anyone on here anyway

[Nomad2]

:) jokes jokes no this is not a dating site. Good take though - well done and extra point for doing your research

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ahahaha thanks

[Ozanne]

Very good myTake! I have a similar rule to you that no one pays for me either, and I have that rule at first because I want there to be an "out" if there is no romance felt during the first "date". When I was single, if a guy asked me out, I took it on as a "go-and-see-if-you-even-like-him" sort of approach. If it turned out that we both just had friendly vibes, then my first establishing paying for myself would not allow him to feel as though I was interested in some sort of romantic payback. If we both did feel a romantic connection and wanted more, then money issues really mean very little. The next night he would have paid, and maybe another night, I'd have him over for dinner (whereby I would have paid by purchasing the goods).

I especially think it's rude to be on the phone. Even glancing at the phone indicates that there is a probability that someone could be more important than me. I'm 40, before there were even cell phones when I went on dates, we survived not hearing from friends and family for an hour or two. It CAN be done, people.

I also think it's awful to get drunk or even drink too much. This is a sign that tells me that they need the alcohol to relax, and obviously there weren't relaxed enough with me. It also told me what I was in for, for many other nights out or if he went out with friends. Indulgence in drink is problematic in so many ways, and the first one I notice is the cost. Alcohol is expensive. If on one date I can see that the bill was over half devoted to drinking, then I resent that so much of that money was spent on some puke the next morning. No thanks. Bye.

I'm a bit more forgiving when it comes to being late, but not too late, and it is only okay if they call and tell me when they will see me. My husband is late, but he at least always kept me in the know of where he was and when I'd see him, and it was never a big deal for me. I was too attracted and too in love with him to worry about that back then. :)

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ugh I was at the movies with a guy I liked otday and my bestfriend and her boyfriend and I was talking to my friend and the egg bought me lunch I almost lost it

[loveisbeautiful]

The only rules I would have are, there are no rules. Dating is hard enough and first dates are nerve racking enough, why add all that extra pressure to it with a bunch of rules that you don't really need? I mean, there's the obvious etiquette and general good manners but I would think by a certain age that would be self explanatory. Everything else, is just too much pressure. I don't want him to dress a certain way, I just want him to dress the way he feels best. I want to hear about his past relationships and sexual experience level, because that's apart of his past and I'd like to know about it, no secrets. I don't care if he leaves his cell phone on, as long as he's not updating his Facebook status or taking selfies and posting them while on a date with me, I don't care if leaves his phone on. What if something happens and someone needed to reach him? I'd feel majorly guilty if he had his phone off just to pay attention to me, when someone needed him the most. So, the phone can stay on. Honestly, the only thing I'd want is for him to be himself. Not who he thinks he should be or who a list told him he should be, I just want him to be who he is. That would make it easier for me to be myself, plus if it all worked out I would essentially be dating him, flaws and all. So, I want all the cards on the table. Dates also flow better when things happen naturally and that's what I'd want as well, natural and being ourselves. I think that's the best way to go.

[AleDeEurope]

I like all this, even though it's pretty obvious, common sense, but unfortunately many people lack common sense.

P. S.: one advice for the women out there. When the bill is put on the table, go for it, even though if you want the man to pay, just by grabbing it you will score like 1000 points hahaha but seriously, don't take it for granted.

[ccp16]

this all seems pretty basic to me... except I seem to be cursed that when I am on a date, there ALWAYS seems to be this ultra beautiful woman sitting behind my date or something, I swear I am not some pig and am really into my ate, but I only ever see these types of girls while on a date! So excuse me if I glance once or twice but I would never do it in a super obvious way in front of my date, that is rude. But if some super sexy rugby player were sitting behind me and wearing tight clothes, I would not blame my date for looking here and there either...

[WhatTheHellAmy]

"Give us something to talk about" I'm a girl and I find supeeeer annoying when girls talk a lot, I LOVE TO TALK AND I KNOW I ANNOY PEOPLE. So hey guys, sorry about that, talk too! I think it's amazing when you guys say something so interesting that make me shut my mouth.

[Maverickj]

Okay, enough with the whole "gentleman" stuff. Stop being so sexist. Open your own doors, or be prepared to open mine as well. Men are not your slaves. Do you really want to be treated like a child who can't even move her own chairs or open her own doors?

Enough with "being a gentleman" and the whole chivalry stuff, it's just pure gynocentric sexism.

[Maverickj]

With your attitude, I can guarantee that you certainly won't be attracting any good men. Please stop projecting your own preferences onto everyone else.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Oh grow up man, I can open my own doors I was stating what some women like, however being a complete douche won't attract very many women that's for sure. Also I am not projecting my preferences onto anyone people have a choice whether or not they want to take heed to any of this.

[Basketballchick4eva]

But in all honesty women will prefer a gentleman over a complete asshole who thinks he knows everything

[iSparkleBlonde]

I'd rather date a gentleman than a prick like you and for the record I have found a good man who does all of that so goodbye.

[Basketballchick4eva]

@iSparkleBlonde you phrased that beautifully

[RexCatholicissimus]

We kinda do treat women like children though, dude. It's just how things are.

[Maverickj]

@iSparkleBlonde Good to see that you found a husband who appreciates blatant sexism as much as you do.

[Anon1999]

You did a great job on this Take. You better watch out for guys like me who gets up to go to the restroom prior to the check coming leaving my card with the waitstaff so they just bring the already paid bill to me at the end of the night.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Thankyou :) and ahaha its okay my ex took me to the movies and tried paying for me so I threatened to stop talking to him if he did later I got home and he messaged me telling me to check my mail box, pretty much all my money was there and I was way pissed

[Anon1999]

See that is not tactful to leave it in the mailbox. I would have been upset with that if I were you too. If she insisted or had already paid you leave it. But as a guy you can work around it like paying for the tickets before you get there. Or leaving your card at the restaurant like I said lol.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Yeah ahahaha I wouldn't be very happy either way

[Phoenix98]

In other words common sense and things your parents should have taught and raised you to do.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Pretty much

[Phoenix98]

Lol how sad that these are things that need to be mentioned now a days like they are something special lol.

[Basketballchick4eva]

It seems that these days they are something special

[Phoenix98]

Yup.

[Remonster]

I surely hope that means you're willing to actually silence and leave alone the phone as well. Women are notorious for being glued to their screens non-stop even when in company. It's not very gentlewomanly.

And sadly you quite frankly started rambling from the 'give us something to talk about' point onwards.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Its funny then cause I must not be a woman considering I don't even have a phone

-_____-

[Remonster]

Really? Are you sure you're from planet Earth? ;)

[Basketballchick4eva]

Oh ahahaha good point I forgot to mention im an alien

[Remonster]

Hahaha welcome I hope you come in peace. Don't eat me!

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ahaha I come in peace :) not a fan of eating humans either

[Remonster]

Very good :)

[abzence]

Sure, I'll gladly be a gentleman if she's a gentlewoman and not just sits there expecting me to place her on a pedestal and do everything for her. Equality is a thing these days, not only when it suits women.

[muspelhem_5]

Have fun being single. We don't get a say here. She has plenty of options.

[abzence]

I also have plenty of options, so what's your point?
You assume that all girls have plenty of options and guys have zero options so they have to behave like submissive slaves. I see that we live in different realities.

[FakeName123]

It's called being a lady. Unfortunately most ladies died out and most gentlemen with them. There are still a rare few though to look out for.

[hypno-trip]

I agree 800%

[Basketballchick4eva]

I'm so confused I never said anything about putting anyone on a pedestal for one

[abzence]

@Take Owner
Being a gentleman while not being treated with the same respect and courtesy in return is pretty much placing the woman on a pedestal. That is also why I wrote that I'd gladly behave like a gentleman if she behaves like a "gentlewoman". That means that we treat each other with equal respect and not as if the guy is less valuable and needs to earn her validation.

It's about her not taking the guy for granted and expect him to be a gentleman and do all those things for her just because he is a guy and she is a girl. That type of treatment needs to be earned. And it is earned by not taking it for granted and appreciate it when it's done. Many girls today take this stuff for granted and they are far from being a lady themselves yet expect to be treated like you.

So once again. I don't claim that you said anything about a pedestal. All I said is that this "gentle" behavior have to go both ways.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Did I say that you guys shouldn't be treated with the same respect in return? no I don't believe I did
Listen I for one know that any relationship is not gonna work if only one person is contributing I think you may be reading wayyyy too much into this

[abzence]

And did I say that you said anything like that?
No, I simply said that I'd gladly be a gentleman if she is the same.

[Basketballchick4eva]

"Being a gentleman while not being treated with the same respect and courtesy in return is pretty much placing the woman on a pedestal." actually you said something along those lines hun

[abzence]

I only tried to explain the concept of placing someone on a pedestal.
What I tried to explain was that if this "gentle" behavior is taken for granted or not returned in favor then the male pretty much becomes a tool. There's nothings wrong with treating special people in a special way.

The only thing I'm in opposition with is that some women expect "gentle" behavior simply because they are a girl and he is a guy. Be special and be treated special. Don't take things for granted, that is all I'm saying.

[VictoVonDoom]

The only thing I have a problem with on 1st dates is nervous fidgeting. I always catch myself and stop but it always happens for the first like 30 min or so of the date. I don't know how to stop it except drinking helps if it's like a dinner date or some shit.

[RexCatholicissimus]

I hope you dogs read this thoroughly, a WOMAN wishes to let you hopeless inferiors know how to do things so the male gender will stop failing her.

A WOMAN.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ahahahaha im not sure if you are being serious or not?

[soccerchick4eva]

oh golly gosh remember what happened with the paying system today ahahhaha

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ahahaha you were so pissed aye and did you realise Blake was on his phone a hell of a lot?

[soccerchick4eva]

I know guys are expected to but it was only $4.95 hahahah :") yeah i noticed that..

[Basketballchick4eva]

Yeah ahahaha and yeah :( im not sure how to feel about that its kinda always like that with him

[soccerchick4eva]

he's glued to his phone -.-

[Basketballchick4eva]

I'm actually surprised he came if he knew he had to have it off and he didn't turn it on once during the movie

[soccerchick4eva]

hahaha yeah :")

[MarkyyG123]

Leave the paying out of this Woman -.-

Haha and yeah, what was he even doing

[Flyest_Esay_Alive]

Ill be who i am with any female im not going to change the way i am for woman either she likes me or not

[MarkyyG123]

Hahaha nicely done here Pai :) Hopefully I hit more do's than don't huh haha :") Must be doing something right tho, she still hangs around :D

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ahaha just the paying bit Mark ma boy

[MarkyyG123]

So hit it right with the paying or wrong with the paying? :D

[Basketballchick4eva]

wrong

[MarkyyG123]

-.- How was that wrong tho :( Pleasee tell me how what I did was wrong :(
And heyy you called me gay cause of my clothes -.- haha I didn't see that one coming :(

[Basketballchick4eva]

Aww im sorry!! and nah secretly I thought it was sweet but I think she wanted to bite your head off

[MarkyyG123]

Hahaha its just how I dress, my entire wardrobe is made out of clothes that look like that, if Zo doesn't like that I'm buying new clothes :")
Hahahaha thanks Pai :) But whyy tho :( I don't know why, has she always had a thing agaist people buying her food?

[Basketballchick4eva]

Yeah its another thing we have in common

[MarkyyG123]

ARE YOU SERIOUS -.-
I have a few traditional ways of things and thats one of them haha, she had better get used to that cause I ain't changing it :P

[Basketballchick4eva]

Ahaha you know I actualyy had no clue how alike we were til today :)

[MarkyyG123]

Hahahahaha are you telling me the same things that tick her off do the same to you :") haha
Basically Big Fella and I were cracking the same jokes and finshing each others jokes off and you and Zo were thinking the exact same haha :")

[Basketballchick4eva]

Yeah its pretty crazy and we're like the same size aswell ahaha

[MarkyyG123]

Hahaha yessss :") hahaha man its quite crazy when you tihnk about it huh :")

[Basketballchick4eva]

we did not like how well you's got on either

[MarkyyG123]

Hahaha whyyyy? He and I got on straight away

[Basketballchick4eva]

Which was very unexpected

[MarkyyG123]

Hahaha we're just two very friendly guys who got along quite well haha

[hypno-trip]

Based on my experience on this site only like 20% of women in the world deserve the type of gentlemen you describe in this MyTake.

[DarkHumorRUs]

This is all easy shit. The hard part is getting a date in the first place.

[Figleaf]

Brush the hair out of your faces? First date? You sound like a clinger. I doubt I'd ask you out in the first place.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Dude its dates in general not just the first date and if your that old I'd steer clear of you anyway :)

[Figleaf]

Child... under don't be late, you said first date. You kids are always bitching about us not reading the entire post before answering. I read. And you're still a clinger.

[Basketballchick4eva]

Yeah but the take is not referring to just the first date... old man

[Figleaf]

******** clinger.

[Basketballchick4eva]

You know im fascinated as to why you keep repeating that it seems your more of a clinger then I am

[James0]

Even though most of this is common sense, a lot of guys and girls forgot thsee things

[Basketballchick4eva]

They sure do hence why I thought I'd write it