Online Dating Demystified: A Woman’s Perspective (Page 2)
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why do women keep complaining about dick pics? you can't even send pictures on most dating sites. anyways if you take out the bad stuff like weirdos, angry texts, and a few others most of womens problems on the sites are non issues. the guy does not even know you for one why should he spend 5-10 minutes sending an interesting convo starter when there's a literal 9/10 chance you won't reply? the way i see it if she does reply to a simple hi how are you i at least know she's interested and not just on there to have friedly banter. yes only then would i put any effort in my messages but not before. id love to get bombarded with messages fro potential partners then all i would have to do is talk to the ones i like and ignore the ones i dont, but nah y'all are to lazy to shift through the shit you want the shit to shift its self clean itself then you'll touch it otherwise you'll just sit there... looking "cute" waiting.
I've never dated online, but i would assume the lesser of two evils is sifting through 100 messages vs sending out 100?
Once we boil down to it, online dating is even more of a numbers game than real dating. The only relevant thing is getting someone's number and setting up a meet since it's only from there that a relationship with all it's meaningful parts like personality, compatibility, common interests etc. Have value. In this sense, women have a vast advantage over men.
As far as numbers go, yes, it is easier for women. But the quality of messages are few and far between from my experience. My point is, that this is why many women give up on online dating. Just try receiving a dick pic or 2; it is a HUGE turn off. Online dating is nothing more than a tool to meet others, not a magical match-maker. Again, this is something I will address in an upcoming myTake.
Thats fair enough, i'm interested to see how one could see it as equal for men - unless you're going to say the number of 'quality interactions' is about the same for both genders? Something i find difficult to believe since even if we assume 20% success rate for both genders, 100 (20) messages is going to contain a higher number of quality interactions than 10 (2).
Its quite difficult to say who's experience is easier, as it is mostly subjective. But that's not my point. My point is that is a difficult experience for both sexes, as different as their experiences are. It is more of a response to the belief that "women have it easy", because we really don't. But for some reason, these articles always turn into a battle of the sexes, lol.
My apologies i didn't mean it to turn from debate into battle. Like i said i dont actually know what online dating is like, so im going off heresay really (which is bad). I have an open mind, so looking forward to your next take on the subject 😄.
Thanks :)
I have done my share of online dating... I could probably write a book on it. I made some guidelines or what you would call rules for myself. I made them as I went along. I finally got a great man. Actually we reconnected online after 30 years. We went to high school together... but I went through a lot of frogs before I found my prince.
Until now I haven't dated online, but my dating experience as been minimal. When I do eventually get back into the dating scene, online dating would be the best platform for me, since I have a strong preference for vegetarian/vegan women. I won't even know the dietary habits of women I meet, and it maybe kinda rude to ask. But with a dating site, I can state that I am only seeking vegetarian/vegan women, and only contact those!
Good luck :)
Thanks!
Online dating sounds easier than offline dating, in truth, it's actually tougher. Dishonesty, catfishes, players, perverts, weirdos... why even bother?
in my opinion, people who have online dating profiles are not trustable because they could be chatting with a stranger anytime anywhere.
That is very true, and why it is very scary and risky for women. There are a lot of creeps and weirdos, but there are nice guys. Again, online dating is just a tool to meet people. You still need to use your common sense and better judgement.
Only when men have reached the bottom of the barrel, do they fully commit to online dating. The only other way online dating should be approached by men, is to see it as mass marketing. You just throw it out there and hope for the best. Never take that shit seriously.
Haha, I love that bottom of the barrel comment lol. Online has changed the game substantially. I don't want my picture being online. I don't want it on Tinder, and I don't want it on a dating website. I don't want to be going out with a girl and for one of her friends to later be like, "He has an account on Tinder, or so and so." Plus, I don't feel like being 1 in the 2,000 messages per week that an attractive girl gets. It's easy to lose a message in the shuffle. It's hard to miss a guy in real life. You can't ever beat meeting people face to face.
@pnl86 I know right. If men are going to use online platforms, the best thing to do is use it for meeting people of similar interests then meeting them in real life.
Then Meetup would be a good tool to use. You start out with a group outing to something you're interested in, then zone in on potential dates. One of my brothers met his girlfriend through a Meetup event.
@musicbrain5 that's exactly it. That would be the best approach. Men are more successful with anything when they get out the house;) good on your brother.
It's more of a normal way to meet people. Sure, the meeting was set up over the Internet but you're still meeting for real in an actual social setting. You'll likely still get some friends out of it anyways, just because you immediately have something in common with everybody there.
My oldest brother met his wife on Match many years ago though, so I guess those sites do work on occasion, lol.
@musicbrain5 that is an interesting dichotomy. I've met two play partners through online dating, but other than that, I do what your brother did with the meet up avenue.
I had my hopes up that I was meeting a nice beautiful girl. Turned out to be a gay guy who tried to tell me I had to have sex with him before I could meet that girl. I've also had girls break contact with me when I sent them photos of myself, that hurt a lot. So that poisoned my perception of online dating forever.
Omg, I'm sorry to hear that :( there are so many catfish out there today and just really mean people. Experiences like that can certainly turn someone off online dating for good.
Yeah it does. Should I give it a second try?
I mean it has been a while.
Its completely up to you, but, why not? Sometimes it takes bad experiences to teach us what we really want and what to look out for the next time. You could definitely give it another try if you are up to it :)
"Men assume women have it made when it comes to online dating and that we have the pick of the litter."
Well you technically do have the pick of the litter if you're being bombarded with 100s of messages. Just because you don't like the quality of the litter doesn't change the fact that you still have the option of picking anyone.
Yes, there is no denying that. But my point is that it isn't as easy as men think it is.
Depends on what your standards are I suppose.
One thing you are wrong about is saying hi. Putting too much effort writing something nice to girl is pointless and leave frustration. A simple hi and hey should do more than enough to get the girl attention. If no response move on. In the end this guy no different from the rest
I think the big question still remains the same: why do men want to strange women like queens but often treat their girlfriends like s***
If men can get out of this cycle and treat girls they're picking up like normal girls and not goddesses and if they can treat their girlfriends like the best girl in the world things would be a lot calmer for all parties involved.
Hopefully your take helps convince guys to just be funny and cool instead of overly nice and boring
100% agree :)
IKR? I guess there's no reason to want to please someone who's kind to you already.
I can't believe how you women expect men to do everything perfect all the time. If guys online knew how to talk to women they wouldn't be dating online. It's typically for socially awkward people, so getting weird messages comes with the territory.
Women send weird messages too sometimes.
The multiple messaging portion doesn't really make sense after reading the "100's of messages a day, your message may never be seen" portion.
If she thinks your cute, it doesn't matter what your message says if she sees it, and it is not excessively vulgar, you'll get a reply. "Hey" will do.
Umm what's the point of this...
Obviously 99% of both men and women on dating sites are scum.
I am doing a joint masters in applied math/chemistry. You could probably imagine what my POF experience was like. (Hint: single moms looking for $).
I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience. But there are actually decent people out there. I understand as a young professional, its hard to meet quality women. As a woman with 2 masters degrees, it was quite difficult to find quality men. I guess I was just one of the fortunate few to find success. Best of luck!
Haha believe it or not I actually found a decent gal on Tinder =)
See! There's hope :)
Wow, that must be terrible knowing that you can get a date whenever you want. Quality of that date is irrelevant, you're never going to be alone unless you want to be.
I don't mean to sound callous, but it's extremely difficult to be sympathetic when you've sent literally thousands of messages of the type that women claim they want, yet still get very few replies, and very few of them result in conversation, much less a date.
I can relate to most of this! ! I have met one decent guy on online dating and even though he was very nice and a gentlemen his pics where very misleading! Anyway, nice take!
Thanks :)
I've been using online dating sites for a while now and I'm about to delete my profile because I just can't seem to find the quality of men I am looking for in terms of physique, age, career, and educational background. It even annoys me that a lot of these guys have the nerve to message me without using proper grammar/spelling. I wish I had the luck of meeting the type of guy I am looking for, in person.
I hear you. I'm going to be doing another myTake on online dating tips for men and women, where I talk about how you get what you pay for (in terms of free dating sites) and how filters in some of the dating apps can really help weed out the bad ones.
I've never really found it difficult. Just come up with something funny about her profile pic that doesn't have to do with her body, or whatever else. And about 7 or 8 comments in, ask for a date. Simple as that. I think a lot of guys over think it.
I was on eHarmony for several months, and can honestly say that all of the men I came across as sexist, passive aggressive, and condescending. I can honestly say, I haven't touched a dating site since.
Oh boy another bunch of tripe about how difficult it is for women. It must be so hard to sit on your ass and flip through the hundreds of people that are interested in dating you. Weeding out the morons is so difficult.
Apparently you didn't read the article, which isn't surprising since you seem to be bitter about online dating already. You could obviously never understand what it is like for a woman unless you experience it yourself. Perhaps if you took time to listen to what women have to say, you wouldn't be so bitter and lonely.
And honestly, with an attitude like that, its also not surprising why you probably failed at online dating.
pfff you sound like one of the assholes I got messaged by.
Oh I read the article - no worries there, a good 10 minutes of my life wasted.
Simply put it is always easier when something you desire comes to you than having to go out and search for it. But of course you would have no way of knowing and will swear up-and-down women have it so hard.
It is undeniably much harder for men. Why just simply the fact that online there are 5 billion men to a few women. The odds alone make it extreamly difficult for men where as we see women can be and are very selective. This alone proves it is much easier for women.
That was not the point of the article; who has it easier. The point is both men and women face different struggles with online dating. Yes, I get the fact that guys get very few messages. It's having the attitude that women have it SO easy that creates assholes online who think they are entitled to be messaged my women.
I've finally given in and signed up to a dating site a few weeks ago, I thought it was going to be easy but damn, it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.