All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience

Like most of my Takes, this is not a short one, and if you can’t handle it, that’s okay. Some others won’t mind spending the time. But I definitely want to invite guys to read this who may have tried online dating and feel weary with it.


Just to get this out first, I never have even met any of the women I’ve talked to or seen on online dating sites, and I’m glad really. I actually have not been involved in them consistently, rather it’s been something I’ve done off and on through the years, and almost always as a just-seeing-what-this-is-all-about type thing, and I never stay very long before I delete. From time to time someone will tell me I should try some site, or I will get pulled in by the nice little traps these sites want you to fall for, but overall I am rarely committed to actually finding anybody on them.


However, in recent months I will admit I did get more involved in dating sites after things ended with me and a woman I knew. And my involvement was moreso out of a desperation to find someone just so I could get over her, but now I’m long over her and starting to delete all my dating site accounts. I'm single again, but it’s no longer necessary. I have my sanity back, and also my self-esteem. I have never, ever been really invested in any of that stuff or been a big believer in it, and now that I’ve had more experience with it I want to tell my story about the sad, the bad, and the ugly with all the women on these sites, as well as how useless these sites really are.


Dating sites are about making money more than matching…

Let’s just make that clear from the get-go. The bare truth is that for the most part, these sites pretend to have your best interests at heart and want you to think finding your future lover is very possible, when in fact it’s about getting as many singles to sign up as possible so the sites can make money.

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience


The biggest trick about them is the messaging systems. Creating your account is definitely all free and easy as they say, but once you’ve hashed out your profile real good and put up a nice summary and decent photos, and then message someone interesting you see, you either have to FULLY SUBSCRIBE with monthly payments (or you get options to pay for three months at a time or a whole year) before your message can actually be sent, or you are hit with the even worse option: your message is sent…..but you have to make a payment for the woman on the other end to even see what you wrote, as in the case of Match.com.


Tinder, something everyone is crazy about and what is madly popular now, was actually the worst for me, which works by the site matching you up of their own accord. You can’t even message any women unless they Like you back or the site has matched you up with somebody, which I really, really hated.


Sometimes the problem is not that chicks don’t want to talk to you...

Now, I hear a lot about guys who send women messages and they never answer, and I know a lot of women like taking pride in how well-known that is, but for me that hasn’t always been the case. I know when I used to be on OkCupid I did get responses to many of my messages, sometimes only once, and a few times the conversations did get detailed. But the worst thing to happen is when a woman replies...and you can’t see what she wrote because I have to subscribe in full! This has mostly been the case on CougarLife, and right now I have 4 or 5 messages from very attractive women still sitting in my inbox that I cannot read because I don’t pay $30 a month or more, and honestly don’t want to.

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience


Am I missing out on what those chicks ever said? No doubt, but you gotta balance reality here. Be practical. I’m not about to spend money on a dating site that really is still just a chance at the end of the day more than an assured promise that things will ever work out with any of those women.


And on the flip side, some of the women on these sites are in the same situation. So it’s not always that women are actively ignoring men like the pop-cult web articles, YouTube vids, and women themselves want men to believe as a general truth. Sometimes these women may actually want to read your message or even respond but don’t want to pay to do it either.


Most of the women honestly are...well...pitiful…

This may sound harsh, but that is the honest truth. Are a lot of them good-looking? Even downright sexy? Absolutely, and I’ve even been notified that quite a few of them either viewed my profile or even clicked Like or “I’m Interested.” But at the end of the day they don’t really have anything to offer, which is probably why they’re on dating sites in the first place and can’t get a date in real life. These women have the nerve to feel as if they deserve a “good man” and think all the guys on dating sites are terrible or no good, and they don’t even look at themselves.

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience


Some are overweight and want a man to overlook their laziness and accept them as they are, yet put in the ‘What They’re Looking For’ section details of wanting an athletic or toned man! LOL! Others even outright say they smoke daily and aren’t about to stop, and I’m supposed to find that attractive? LOL! And the dumbest ones are women who claim to be 29 or 30 when you can clearly see they are at least 40, and women who you also can clearly see are Asian, Hispanic, or fair-skinned Middle Eastern but lie about their race and say they’re “Caucasian” because they think they’ll have better success with guys. LMFAO!


College students and career women are the absolute worst...

And this is because these women seem to think I should care about their education or job status and how much money they make. And I don’t. They think having such credentials will be more appealing to men - *arrogantly flings hair back over shoulder* “Look at me, I am Lady Important, who works in the financial office of a hospital. I make $35,000 a year and went to the University of Whogivesashit. Isn’t that sexy?” Honestly? No.

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience


Because at the end of the day I don’t care about your achievements, your ambition, your pride of life, and all your cliche ABC TV lifestyles, which is what I get a LOT of here in the Greater Washington, D.C. area. I want to know what you can offer me in personality, character, and real intellectuality. Have you been through any real tough places in life that taught you deep truths about yourself and the world? Do you have any personal skills or talents other than rock climbing, kaoroke nights with chick friends, and being a fitness freak? What are your views on how we should raise our kids? What life skills do you have that you can put to use in an immediate or difficult situation? You’ve got a college degree and you studied psychology, medicine, or finance but can you find your state on a map? You can live stream movies and use Instagram but can you cook? Do you keep your own house clean?


Don't get me wrong, I like the bar and fun things and eating out at nice places too, but you gotta give me more than that. So these are important questions you need to answer, and not just for me but for your own self. Take a look on the inside.


And then there’s always that ooooooone turn off…

Sometimes though, you read over a chick’s profile and it’s sounding good, and you even seem to match on a lot of things, but then there’s that oooooooone little thing to blow it all to hell: she’s a Conservative with “Christian values” a.k.a. “I think Trump is the best we’ve ever had and black men need to keep taking the bullets from cops. Oh, and I love Jesus but hate poor people.” Or she turns out to be a smoker, loves all things dark like horror movies, books, and death metal, or you swipe through some of her photos and start seeing she’s covered in tattoos.


Yeeeah. Sometimes it only takes just one turn-off.


I really couldn’t care less about “messages women get”...

Yeah, and I also don’t care about all the mail you get from guys you’re not interested in, and neither do most other men either. It’s been a pop cult thing for some years for women to make a big show in YouTube vids, web articles, or even small news reports about all the kinds of messages they get from guys online. Inboxes full of “Hi’s”, “Hey,” creepy messages, or d!ck pics. Okay, and? It wouldn’t be the first time or last a woman gets those, so telling us about it does what? Even I myself as a guy have gotten some weird out-of-the-blue messages before from chicks looking for a friend with benefits or a “bbc cuckold” for her and her boyfriend/husband, but I don’t care to put it on the air and it wouldn’t benefit me.

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience


Hell, some women are even exaggerating their inboxes and how much mail they get just so they can seem like they’re a lot more special to men than they really are. 30 messages A DAY? I highly doubt that, even for the most attractive woman. I’ve even seen some women who are honestly very plain yet they’re claiming allllllllll these guys are blowing up their inboxes. Really not sure about that...


These chicks are a joke…

The irony of women on the Internet is that they like to brag about having alllllllll these options with guys, and that they can have any guy they want, and yet they’re obviously looking online because they can’t get a date in real life. Or don’t want to. They want Superstar Men who would never want them back. Hell, I’m no superstar man and even I don’t want them! Their “expectations” exceed their own value and worth. So they develop fantasies - sometimes after heartbreak - that are constructed of men who are just as fantastical.


These women are a joke. Wanting cultivated men but expecting men to take them as they are. Wanting men they can “have a conversation with” yet their ideas of a conversation are usually pretty cliche and it’s probably why men in real life don’t have them with you. And they like to joke about allllllll those guys who sit at home online all day trying to pick up chicks yet they spend hours and days themselves logging in to these dating sites to check their messages instead of getting out there, growing some tits, and really meeting men.

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience

All the web articles, magazines, and so forth want to tell us that the reason so many women are going online for love now is because they’ve tried in real life and all the men they meet are just bastards, weirdos, or beneath them, and while I’m sure some of that is true, the bigger truth is that in real life a lot of these women don’t have anything to offer men. That’s why they want Superstar Men, who will not only dazzle them but also make up for what they lack. These women pretend confidence and importance through their careers and college education but deep down they doubt themselves and know they aren’t made of much.


Although there are some dating site success stories, if women are really scoring all that much like the media wants guys to think, then so many of these women would not be on the same sites for months or even over a year.


The End…

After getting involved in the whole dating site thing, it really just made me feel pretty pathetic to be honest. It’s like a desperation to get with somebody fast, either for sex or a real relationship. I know that the statistics tell us that my generation and younger are now looking online for mates at a high rate compared to actually meeting people in person, and I just think it’s sad.


I am a people person. I like to talk to a chick in reality. I like to flirt and look at their bodies up close and in person. I like to hear their voices and their laughter and watch their mouths. I like to hug and touch and get serious. The dating site thing doesn’t work for me. I find it difficult to be like the rest of today’s sad generation that lacks confidence and goes looking online for people they most likely will never have.

All the Wrong Women: My Online Dating Experience

Does meeting people online really work? Sure, I've heard some stories, and then I've also heard others where the relationship lasted for awhile, even some years, and it still fell apart, despite how much those sites convinced them that they were "perfect matches." But for me, I will gladly continue to talk to women in person, ask them out, and either get turned down or they oblige. Either way is fine by me, and a hell of a lot better than the scams and the narcissistic circles of online dating.

#DateInRealLife


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh yea haha I used online dating for a while and I was definitely getting a good 1-2 dates a week. BUT all in all you are right. The breakdown for me was as follows (from most common to least common):

    1. Daddy issue women with severe psychological issues (could not commit to one man, excessively promiscuous, etc.)
    2. Shitty women who were rather uninteresting / SC filters / boring conversationalists / had nothing to offer BUT expected to be treated like goddesses.
    3. Career / college women who also expected to be treated like goddesses and had a suspicious amount of money for girls who should be living on Chef Boyardee...

    #3 was the least common but definitely the worst (as you have pointed out). A lot of these women felt they were "all that" despite again... having not too much to offer.

    1. and 2. you kinda feel bad for but just ignore/forget about. 3. is definitely annoying though and some can be real naggers

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    • Dude! Exactly! Right on.

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    • @Jager66 Vancouver is really bad in terms of what you would expect in big cities: gold diggers, narcissism, bratty spoiled behavior, etc. Similar to New York basically. And I'm not saying guys are innocent either tbh.

      As for the Asians, well I'd say about 50% are Native and 50% are newly landed. In my experience, dating Asians that have come from other countries but have lived here for 5-10 years has been the best. The Asian girls that are born here are a lost cause. A LOT of them are spoiled by mommy/daddy and believe the world revolves around them. Also believe it or not but I've found the daddy issue crap to be just as prevalent among them

    • sounds like a swamp, but that is very interesting about the migrant ones who have been here a while.. I'll have to keep an eye out for that my self.

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What Girls Said 19

  • Dating sites suck, they are for losers and yes they are scams. I was on a lot of them and you might be saying then why was I there if it's for losers?, for the same reasons you were.

    Just to see what this is about, I hardly used them and deleted them often, I ended up staying for an extended period when I had a break up, but realized that many people who are there, are, because they can't find anyone in real life.

    Most people on there have terrible hangups so you must be careful. My main reason for being single this long is because I really lost interest, I'm starting a business, I don't wanna date another Caribbean person and I am just sick of people expecting in a relationships and having nothing to give, but yes you're right about everything.

    People should leave these sites alone unless it's for sheer entertainment. Last I was on Okcupid, I was trolling hard and just being obnoxious, then I got bored and dumped them all. If I dress up and go out I can meet someone get laid or put up with their bullshit like everyone else if I really want a relationship.

    I don't need or want that, I'll just entertain myself online, grow my business and see what the hell happens, stay away from dating sites y'all.

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    • I don't think they are for losers, shy people are not losers, and dating sites sometimes can help them find someone and not feel so lonely. Sure it is awesome to meet people in real life, but dating sites are not bad they are just a tool and people decide what use they are going to give to it. There are bad and good people in dating sites. And that they dont work for someone doesn't mean they dont work for anyone

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    • @Tdieseler That's the problem, people I want to date are not in my country. The guys from my country were the worst on the site, they had no conversation, and had their hobbies set to thing like****fucking bitches*** What are you doing with you're life now, they answer *****so I'm just chilling and living it to the fullest**** When they messaged me I blocked them. That is why I am not dating here anymore, they have the IQ of a pea.

      I think other women were avoiding the Jamaicans too because they slowly started to leave, but anyway that is why I was using dating sites to escape them and date other people.

    • Oh yea... I've seen jamaican dating sites. and sad part is that some women like that. I can't say anything bad because im a relative lol... but yea... that IQ is pea-sized.
      we will talk more...

  • "Because at the end of the day I don’t care about your achievements, your ambition, your pride of life, and all your cliche ABC TV lifestyles, which is what I get a LOT of here in the Greater Washington, D. C. area. I want to know what you can offer me in personality, character, and real intellectuality."

    Sounds harsh and mean, the above statement

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    • No, it actually was not supposed to. It was the honest truth with some lemon juice.

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    • Either paid models, users that look good so the company pays to use their zombie profile, or chatbots. Pretty much every major dating site uses one of those 3.

    • @Wwwyzzerdd yeah that's true. I believe they have fake men profiles too.

  • Distance can either go, good or bad, IMHO... I am in Canada I was in a LDR before I met my husband.. My ex lets say Brad... Was all the way in North Carolina.. He made it up only once in 3 years to actually see me, and meet me.. He stayed up for a week, but the distance and me feeling the pressure of being away from him added on top of that... It didn't end well... LDR and me doesn't work

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  • I feel like you are generalizing too much perhaps? I have a boyfriend now, but I did use one online dating app before meeting him. Maybe to you, a stranger like me asserting that I'm good looking or having a fun personality sounds like bs. So I won't assert anything but I think online dating experience has been fine at least.

    I understand technology is a two-edged sword and just because dating is online doesn't mean it's easier. However, having an open-mind is important and a little more positivity should be left for people who haven't tried online dating yet.

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    • You're telling me your experience as a woman, and this Take is about a GUY'S experience, which also happens to be other guys' experiences. Plenty of us have been open-minded and still were not satisfied with the experience.

      I think what's most interesting is that you would not be saying any of this if a female gave us another story about her bad online dating adventures.

    • Being open-minded is more like a lifestyle. Just because one guy doesn't get desired results doesn't justify him being negative hereafter. All I'm saying is your mytake sounds more like a lengthy complaint rather than an objective conclusion about online dating. Alas, maybe I'm a little nitpicking but I'm not here to argue.

      As for wether I will write an opinion if a girl had posted a similar mytake,, I won't know unless it happens.

    • It's both a complaint and a conclusion. Either way, how you see it doesn't change the facts of what was said.

  • Wait you mean other sites that force you to pay to see the messages right? not okcupid? because they would never do that.

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    • No, OkCupid actually is decent about that, yeah. They don't make you pay but others like Match, Mingle, and CougarLife do.

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    • OKC has had to come out and admit to experimenting on their customers. A list is a joke. The matches aren't even real, they are just gathering data, not actually trying to provide a useful service.

    • @Wwwyzzerdd Most people don't uses the matches people try to get with the people they find attractive on there.

  • Okay, then don't date online. But no need to trash those who do or pretend that it's everyone else's fault your experience was a bust.
    I can't say I had great success with online dating, but at least I recognize that was at least 75% my fault for not taking it seriously and not having the right standards (what can I say, I was a teen).
    Yes, women aren't perfect. Yes, dating sites want to make money. Welcome to Earth. But lots of people find love that way these days and there's nothing wrong with that.
    Sorry but all I see here is a lot of whining that women on your chosen dating sites didn't turn out to be your exact ideal. It's kind of hypocritical when you talk about women looking for "Superstar Men." On or offline it's the same: you either lower your standards a bit or hold out for your ideal. Neither is right or wrong, it's your choice, and you ultimately can't blame anyone else.

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    • Look at all the chicks getting so upset from this Take, lol.

      "Sorry but all I see here is a lot of whining that women on your chosen dating sites didn't turn out to be your exact ideal."
      - It's not about my ideal, it's about realism, and these women are not realistic. With themselves either for that matter.

      I stated at the end that dating sites do work for some people, but I think more often than not, they don't.

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    • In my experience and according to statistical data those women exclude 80% of the men they consider to be less valuable and give all the attention to the top 20% of male users.

      You females literally ignore 80% of the men on dating sites while the other 20% of Chad's get filled inboxes.

      Women don't respond immediately or even at all unless he's an 8/10. I call bullshit that men are choosing to be alone due to self esteem. We approach you females all the time, you ignore us and cause the self esteem issues. You show us how to live alone then we get used to it and stop approaching low value women who have little or nothing to offer.

    • @Wwwyzzerdd I can only speak for myself, but when I was dating online I did not ignore all men below 8/10. Basically just those below like 4.5/10 or who said really weird things. I at least tried to have a convo with most guys who seemed genuine. Then I got sick of being on there and ignored everyone, but that's a different story.

  • Ok so... you don't want to fork over $30, and you hate women on dating sites even though you've never met one.
    Right. I'll swipe left on this one.

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    • Lol at the chicks getting so mad about this Take.

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    • LMFAO! If women were doing so well on these sites they wouldn't be on them for months and months still waiting for the "right" guys to message them. What a joke.

    • Women like you are the reason online dating sucks. You attack men.

  • I hear both sides are horrible when it comes to online dating. Women don't reply cause they are not taking it seriously, they treat it as if its facebook were you go to upload nothing but pictures. They block guys just for saying "hello" even if they aren't being pervy or a jerk. Guys are bad at it too, a lot of guys now a days use online dating as a source to look for some free vagina, which could result in why women don't even bother to answer cause they are tired or afraid of getting that same guy. It's just a mess honestly.. I wouldn't bother with it, either try to find women through social events or friends. Approaching women in the open is tricky but still could work.

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    • This is about a GUY'S experience with women on these sites. Something different from all the tired stories we hear from women.

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    • Women don't reply because they are too busy giving their attention to Chad. Or maybe your message got lost in the 100+ messages she received in the first hour of signing up.

    • @Wwwyzzerdd That actually true. Women get soo many messages sometimes that it becomes overwhelming for a lot of them. But when you sign up for a dating site, what do you expect?

  • The guys on online dating are the worst though. You get lazy 400 lb assholes who want a virginal super thin sex goddess who'll fix them food, make them money and serve their nasty always on their gaming system of choice asses. Or the "nobody is good enough for me i'm such a wounded man boo hoo" types. It's better than my state in public however.

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    • Yep agreed. It is a two road tbh

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    • " At this point I give up and let Morons be morons... " ... True , maybe set up your own site... Plenty of Morons !!

  • Do you really care about a video that writes receive as recieve incorrectly?

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  • When did OKCupid start charging for the men to reply? I thought that site was free to use most of the features?

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  • Nice post for being honest, but why u have so much anger in you?

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    • LMFAO! No anger, honey. Just clarity.

    • Yes but I get bald, fat poor losers hitting me on a daily basis, MEN do the same thing. They want someone far more attractive then they are. Often have loads of baggage, kids child support, a crappy job and a dirty house but they want the supermodel! Delusional morons!!

      And as for you not spending a lousy $30 to get the messages, omg, lmfao, if you won't spend $30 to get your messages for no guarantee of real life p***y, good luck keeping your $30 but jerking off the rest of your life :)

    • @BrunetteNYC Oh I'm sure there are some men like that, but women on these sites who are as I described are much more common and notorious.

      And I could spend the $30 and still get no pussy. Or I could, and really get the pussy, and be absolutely sorry I did.

  • "Hell, some women are even exaggerating their inboxes and how much mail they get just so they can seem like they’re a lot more special to men than they really are. 30 messages A DAY? I highly doubt that, even for the most attractive woman. I’ve even seen some women who are honestly very plain yet they’re claiming allllllllll these guys are blowing up their inboxes. Really not sure about that..." - It's true, though, that women receive a lot of messages a day; even the plain Janes, such as myself.
    When I first joined a dating site, I would get over 20 messages a day and tried my best to answer them all, but I got sick of answering all the "hi" so I simply started opening the messages and deleting them if they weren't interesting or if the guy wasn't my type. Turned out that most of the guys would get offended that I didn't reply and would call me names. Funny days those were.

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    • the anonymity of being behind a computer screen is what makes those guys comfortable doing that after you "reject" them so to speak. I bet they wouldn't do that to you in real life if they had asked you out and you kindly said no. I don't get guys like that, I mean what good does it do? Sure it MIGHT make you feel a little better because she "hurt" you but it does you no good and makes you look like a jerk in the process. if a girl doesn't respond I just leave her alone and call it good. no point in getting angry at someone who doesn't find me attractive lol.

  • You just sound bitter and sad. No offense

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  • Why are you blaming it on the rest but yourself

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  • bad luck

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  • I mean, if that's your experience with online dating, it kind of sucks. But ultimately, it comes down to what you want and are comfortable with.

    For me, dating apps were a saviour, I'm quite introverted, awkward and have trouble chatting someone up irl.
    Even though I didn't enjoy a lot of it, i. e the desperate dudes, the pressure of knowing it's supposed to be romantic, how impersonal it can be, they were the reason I met my lovely boyfriend who pretty much meets all of my criteria for a guy.

    Summarised: you're generalising based on your experience, which is fair to do but that doesn't mean it's horrible for everyone.

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    • Not everyone, but a lot of people already feel the way I day regardless of me voicing it or not.

    • Great, dating apps worked for you. You also happen to be female, which is the sex that all dating sites cater to.

    • What he describes is a typical experience for males.

  • Well, that's base on your experience but not all girls are like that, you haven't meet maybe your match and just think that online dating is a tool.

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  • If online dating does not work for you, then you should date in person. If that is not possible, then you may ask your Mom and Dad for a date arrangement.

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What Guys Said 35

  • Wow.. so okay... I could easily write an entire MyTake of the trials and tribulations of meeting people in bars and clubs. Dating sucks.. it isn't easy no matter what avenue you go. So look after reading this I decided to make my book FREE. THE ART OF ONLINE SEDUCTION... tips, tricks, and tactics if you want it. Just go to my website and click on the book... link is in my profile. Online Dating if used as a tool can be very useful in getting dates with out all the expenses of a bar tab. 30 bucks a month is cheap compared to the money you will drop in bars and clubs each and every weekend. You can either have a positive outlook and know that online dating... hell dating in general will have it's obstacles or be negative and use that as an excuse to get better... you choose.. you decide.

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  • @manonfire this is the big one: Dating sites are about making money more than matching…

    I recognized it long ago but glad you didn't skip it.

    It's a waste of fucking time for me, tried it so long ago more than 10 years ago, and it's pretty much everything you had said in your entire mytake, can't agree more. It's absolutely not for everybody, plain and fucking simple. Your mileage may vary. For some they've had great success, so great for them, congratulations, I hope their happiness and fun lasts with their success with their online dating experiences, and for others it's completely terrible and disastrous. All I can say is once you quit and give up on it, you'll say fuck it and never bother with ever again.

    I rather just keep it simple, invite somebody to hang out and chill to go somewhere, or go out to eat or drink somewhere with you, or to see something or go do something together and if they flake, fuck 'em, move on and invite somebody else that is up for it, if nobody's up for it, call your buddies and see if anybody's got free time to chill, and if that all works out then at least getting somewhere instead of all the bullshit of hoping somebody is gonna message back, hoping that somebody 's gonna give a shit to even give you a chance and talk to you or meet up in person to have a quick and short chat face to face. I mean at least then you'd get somewhere and get something done, make a friend or two instead of wasting all that time and energy and effort leading nowhere but constant disappointments.

    I say it's better to sign up for something like MeetUp. com instead if online dating sites didn't work out for you or anybody else or try something completely different all for the sake of just meeting up and just trying something or go and do something such as WeGoDo, because as I said, you would then at least get somewhere instead of getting the same fucking undesired results over and over again.

    @Unit1 Any thought on this one?

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    • "and if that all works out then at least getting somewhere instead of all the bullshit of hoping somebody is gonna message back, hoping that somebody 's gonna give a shit to even give you a chance and talk to you or meet up in person to have a quick and short chat face to face."
      - Fucking loved this part, man.

    • Well, you have some good points judgmentday. But let's just say that I do not want to leave a comment just because I disagree with the most things the author has mentioned (and I do not really wish to say this blunt either but here it is). It could also be you are inviting someone over online dating sites. Meeting up is where the deal unfolds.

      I personally need to register myself on as many online dating sites similar to yeschildfree as possible. Only so I can find a match, who is most likely a solid member of the childfree community.

  • And why I say dating sites are for losers - people than cannot connect to others IRL. The majority of women on dating sites are simply looking for validation - guys to fawn over them. It strokes their little egos. :)
    They have no intention of actually dating anyone.

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  • The key problem about online dating is that it drastically shifts the market value.

    A big amount of guys using online dating are the ones who don't get anything done with a girl in real life. Thus they go to online dating in order to finally find the courage through a screen to approach women.

    On the other hand you have women who then get bombarded with billions of below average men and thus get pickier and pickier through the high quantity and low quality of those approachers. even if they get "only" 5 approaches a day - thats still 5 more than most get throughout an entire month outside of the computer screen.

    The issue with that is, that it makes it borderline impossible for a decent men who is above average, but not the top percentage, to approach women since their inflated online-dating ego will just shut them down while in person they would be delighted to have such a guy approach them.

    That issue only gets worse when there is payment involved. Which self-respecting man pays to go online dating? Lol.

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    • "Which self-respecting man pays to go online dating?"
      - Right. Exactly. And that was a big turn-off for me.

  • Protip: Don't use dating sites that make you pay to read the messages other users send you. They will just get a bot to send you some fake messages and hope you'll be enticed/desperate enough to pay to see them. Even if you immediately figure out it's a trick and leave the site and cancel your sub - they have your $30.

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  • Hello! I personally think that it all depends on the dating service you use. For example, I like the one called Secret Benefits, you can read the review on
    I have to say that I have got only the best experience for me there. Maybe you will like using that service too. It is a sugar baby website, so it is not for everyone, but anyway...

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  • I agree all the way brother!

    I think dating itself is nothing but a joke. its like seriously do people actually waste their time and money on these type of bullshit? and what exactly do they get out of all this?

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  • The problem of women today is :
    Their “expectations” exceed their own value and worth

    thats it pretty much, they have nothing to offer, can't cook, clean, are not deep, sleep around and basically they dont have the same value they think they have, so yeah thats why women today can't find a good man or get respect.

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  • I agree. Although I've met some girls for actual dates through online dating. The problem is that the online part is 100% a waste of time. You have absolutely no idea whether you'll actually like them in person or not before you meet.

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  • Dating sites are a load of crap. It's crap for the man because everything's stacked against you and crap for the girls because of all the guy's who just cut-and-paste the same message, or send dick picks. Not worth paying for.

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  • I don't see how online dating can possibly work for you unless you at least pay the fee. Personally, I wouldn't waste my time contacting a women who wasn't paid up in full. You've gotta have skin in the game or else you're not serious...

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  • Thanks for posting this you had a lot of good points, you were lucky enough to have women who were actually attracted to you. My experience wasn't as positive as yours, I couldn't get most women to respond to me. The only two that did knew me irl and either just messaged me because they saw me and wanted to be nice or just felt bad for me, they both have boyfriends now and are way out of my league. I wasn't picky with who, I was choosing to message either, it seemed like every girl on there found me repulsive and wouldn't even look at my profile. I just got sick of the whole thing and deleted all my accounts, the experience has hurt my selfesteem and has made me think, Im ugly. I have had girls tell me, Im handsome or cute but, I dont believe it and they are probably just lying to me :( .

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    • Sorry to hear that, man. But now you know from here on to keep meeting people in real life. It really is the best way.

  • I'd much rather meet a girl that's into metal and horror with tattoos then the typical girl who is into "eating", "reading", "hanging out", "travel" "country music (most likely the shitty kind)", "sports", the outdoors.

    Or the cringeworthy person who had a blank profile.

    There are issues with online dating, but it's always refreshing to meet a cute girl who has similar tastes or is into obscure interests like me as opposed to 50+ versions of the same girl

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  • This Take sounds too negative to be real. Sounds like you're being too picky of women.

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    • Lol. I'm not the only one who knows it to be indeed "real."

    • Than you and others probably haven't met enough women to be making that conclusion.

  • Online dating is rough, like sifting ore. Not bad to do while in the restroom but real life is better.

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  • I read the title and nothing else. You found out for yourself that online dating is a circus, well done. Step over the threshhold and into the real world :)

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  • You people take this shit way too seriously. The whole point of it is to have fun and boost your ego, and if you don't know how to keep a conversation playful... well you're bound to fail at it.

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  • You sound bitter..

    I've tried tinder for a year myself and I haven't gotten any luck. I admit I'm really picky, but I've been ghosted before (and I've ghosted on girls) before anything could happen. So many times when I insisted on a date.. we'd make a plan (or I would), and they'd make excuses to not make it in the last minute and then expect you to call them and follow up with them, or they outright ghost you. Or a girl who I made sure to tell that we aren't dating, that it wasn't serious at all, suggested we meet up a winery.. On a first meet up. lol

    Anyways, don't try online if it doesn't work for you. Online dating gives women more leverage and makes them more picky also. Best to go with a friend, friend of a friend/family friend, classmate/collegue, coworker, someone you meet at a club.

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    • Charge of Irascibility (Code Red)

      Discussion: The target is accused of having anger management issues. Whatever negative emotions he has are assumed to be unjustifiable.

      Examples:

      “You’re bitter!”
      “You need to get over your anger at women.”
      “You are so negative!”
      Response: Anger is a legitimate emotion in the face of injustice. It is important to remember that passive acceptance of evil is not a virtue.

    • @Wwwyzzerdd Wow. Awesome analysis. I've never seen someone take apart the You're-bitter-and-hate-women! argument so well.

  • Thanks for this take. It's really great and interesting

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  • you're not being neutral man. Seems like you're right and every girl on the net is wrong.

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  • Dating , online or in person... does work well , if ; You know how to use the tool effectively. A dating experience isn't something you reap , it's something you create for both involved. Success in dating is measured by , how effectively you use the tool to create a union before you cross the finish line. Shopping in a store doesn't always have exactly what you need , although you make another item work in its place instead. This take is only a facet on the spectrum of dating. Then of course , there's always this... If dating in person doesn't work for you , online won't either.

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  • Well you have some good points, no doubt.

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  • All the women I met online were whores.

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  • I agree with everything you wrote. Well spoken.

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  • Right there with you man!

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  • Interesting

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  • “I make $35,000 a year and went to the University of Whogivesashit”. Fucking love that.

    But as for conservative Jesus Trump part... bro I know you got your viewpoints on a few things. Fair enough I respect that. But in my experience for every girl who identifies as a conservative on a dating app there have to be a 100 that are IN YOUR FACE liberal. I have seen profile after profile that’s says shit like “I don’t fuck Republicans” and “if you voted for trump swipe left”. Maybe you like that. Maybe you don’t. But it’s fucking ignorant and stupid narrow minded thinking.

    But seriously women bring up political filters more than men. a lot more. I think people should just put “conservative” or “liberal” and THAT IS IT. Then when you meet with them you really know their thought process. Every once in a while you meet someone you don’t agree with but they even you out. They give you fair debate and force you to challenge your own viewpoints and challenge theirs. My ex girlfriend was a moderate liberal and I’m a moderate conservative. We had some very good debates on things and I change her mind on some things and she changed mine. That’s because we listened to each other and didn't automatically assume that a different viewpoint is hate.

    But people have gotten away from that. They put a label on somebody and just tell fuck you and leave it at that. That’s dangerous. People are more complicated than that.

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  • career women aren't that bad, in my opinion
    And there's more than being sexy in life

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    • Oh I agree, career women can be very sexy, but we're talking about the narcissistic ones on those sites.

    • Then you should have written 'narcissistic women' instead of career women.

    • Ay ay ay.

  • Totally get you, been experiencing the same things, I'm still on OkCupid and eharmony for months and have yet to meet anyone, I get messages on rare occasions after sending hundreds to them. it's frustrating but I have no luck meeting them in person.

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  • I just can't handle all of the lies and deception.

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