Pros and Cons of online dating

[Anonymous]

Recently over personal issues about online dating I decided to swore off online dating. So I decided to make a myTake over the pros and cons of online dating.

Pro: You have more options

Since everyone is online its easier to meet people than before and now it's harder to meet people for dating. At events (bars are useless, you can't even talk to someone while music is pounding at a club, it's too awkward to confront someone outside etc). Online is just a easier way to find more people because everyone is online and its easier to connect to someone.

Con: Having more options = Connecting to the losers, bad apples of the dating world etc.

If you haven't notice on a dating website chances are you have probably met a piece of shit on there. That's the problem too many bad apples on dating sites, while your options are amazing, chances are you more likely to meet douches muitple times on your dating adventure then anything else. That can just ruin the experience as a whole.

Pro: Most dating websites can be free

Free dating websites are big plus for people who can't afford a matchmaker or professional wing man or woman. Anything free is always amazing because of the price (nothing).

Con: Usually these free websites are crap

Also these free dating websites will make it so its free to sign up but to connect or make it easily for you to date someone they make it 1000x times harder until they offer you to pay a fee to make it easily for you. Business BS in the love world.

Con: Catfishes, fake profiles, scammers

Not much to say about this since on every dating website there will be these type of people sure you meet a catfish, a scammer, someone who fake offline but the chances are for a scammer is:

1. They use online and phones now a days and they are usually in Africa or India, for a catfish.

2. Usually they change their appearances online and they can't offline and for someone who fake.

3. Usually the truth will come out and the shit storm will hit them once they been caught lying.

Pro: You can meet someone amazing off a dating website and have your happy ending

My last point will be is there still a chance that you can find someone it might take a while even years to find them but you still have that chance.

But since our world is now around techonology I want the traditional approach of falling in love and that is meeting face to face and making a connect over time that way.

Have a nice day!

[gray_sailor]

I met my wife through eHarmony.

I liked that you have to pay. It keeps the people who are participating there more honest.

As far as knowing someone through online dating, I find it to be much better than the traditional method.

I had just been through a divorce. I had custody of my 4 year old son. That makes dating more challenging in many ways.

Filling out the profile with eHarmony is an exhaustive and thorough experience. First you take a personality inventory (very simmiliar to an MMPI). Then you answer a values and priorities questionnaire. Then make two lists of 10 items from provided options.
One list is called the "must haves".
The other is called the "can't stands".

As a consequence of this process, I was only ever matched with women:

- in my geographic area
- who were of my faith
- who shared my political views
- who shared my views on sex
- who shared my views on work/home-life balance
- who shared my views on raising children
- who had a compatible psychological temperament

and on and on and on...

Oh, and I got to see a couple of photos of each match.

At one point in the eHarmony process of guided communication, matches exchange "must haves" & "can't stands". One of my "must haves" said this:

"Match must be willing to accept my child as her own."

Any woman that could not agree to that never made it to a first date. Tell me how you accomplish that feat using only traditional dating.

Online dating let avoid wasting my time with people who would not make a good partner for me. I winnowed through about 120 matches and 7 months from when I first joined, I met the woman I would marry.

@GraySailorsBride and I celebrated our 9th aniversary last June. It's been the happiest decade of my life.

[Bluemax]

Congrats!

I believe eHarmony withholds pics until you have communicated for a while. This is my criticism of the site. I don't know if it allows for an agnostic or atheist option. Another potential criticism I might have.

[gray_sailor]

@Bluemax

eHarmony let's each match determine, as part of their profile settings, at which point in guided communication their pictures are displayed.

My wife showed pictures straight away. She was smiling in them. One picture showed her two daughters. Also, she wasn't wearing makeup in the pics.

To my perspective, pictures are the least important part of the profile. The eHarmony approach looks at compatibility first. Physical attraction is determined later.

Really, the purpose of the first date IRL is only to gauge chemistry. We had already talked for hours before that even occured. Guided communication and the chats phone conversations that occured after already established that everything else was more than acceptable.

[continued]

[myTake Owner]

Yes congrats and I did try okcupid I like the questions part that's way better the one I use to use (meetme) never had anything like that (well they kinda did but no one will see the questions the person they were interested in answer anyway it was useless).

[gray_sailor]

@Bluemax

One frustration I encountered was this: Some matches ended communication at the first point that something was less than perfect. I had one match that shut down communication because I did not have a profile picture up yet. It took me a week due to travel for work. Still, for here, I was already too late.

It's really a misnomer that we refer to it as online dating. It's really online matching & introduction. It's good to filter for compatibility. It's bad to filter too agressively at too early a stage of communication. Think of it this way: there is a woman out there now for whom the only reason that the two of us are not a couple is that I did not have a digital camera at the time (2004).

The year that I married (2006), I logged into my old eHarmony account once out of idle curriosity. Sure enough, that woman that broke off communication with me over the profile pic was still there. For all I know, she found reasons to not actually date each of her matches.

[lePoivre]

Aziz Ansari's book "Modern Romance" discusses this a bit from what my boyfriend has told me (he read the book; I've yet to do so myself). He says that Aziz talks about how, yes, there are more options than ever with online dating, but it's because of those infinite options that people have difficulty staying together. We can't help but keep thinking, "What if I can do better? What if that person is better than the one I'm with? What if I miss out on a lot of better opportunities?" Etc. That's another con of online dating: Being overwhelmed by options. In the words of my Psych 101 teacher, "Having only three options of ice cream helps you make a decision a lot easier than 100 options."

[myTake Owner]

I agree thinking about it is hard to pick someone off a website :) and like you feel like am I making the right choice?

[John_Doesnt]

It's bad for both genders. There's too many guys which means competition is fierce. And the women have to watch out for creepy stalkers or serial killers. Like the "Craigslist Killer" which turned out to be an actual thing.

[meatballs21]

POF and OKC are both free and it's entirely possible to find people, communicate with and date them without paying a cent.

[myTake Owner]

Ok my bad about those exceptions but there are plenty of online dating websites that try to take money from you.

[meatballs21]

I am not convinced they are worth bothering with. The idea that you get a better search algorithm or that the paywall keeps out people who are crazy or aren't serious about dating has yet to be proven to me. I know several people who had no luck with Match. com (paid) whereas I had plenty of dates from POF, OKC and Tinder without paying a penny.

[myTake Owner]

Ok so why bring up pay websites? I'm not saying go on a pay website (that are known that you have to pay) I'm saying don't go on these "free" websites when they just trying to get money from you (but its not known you have to pay for some stuff).

[meatballs21]

Because you said usually free ones are crap, when they're not. POF and OKC are not setting out to scam you, and don't withhold any functions like messaging or viewing profiles like "not actually free" ones do.

[myTake Owner]

Ok but overall most of these websites are crap thou and some people might not agree with you about POF and OKC is good. But your opinion.

[meatballs21]

POF and OKC didn't become the biggest and most popular by fucking over their users.

[myTake Owner]

Ok so why should I care about this and this article is not about POF and OKC its about general dating websites. So keep advisting POF and OKC not everyone will want to go on these sites.

[meatballs21]

You don't care, given your reaction to someone pointing out an inaccuracy.

[myTake Owner]

Why should I care? cause clearly you just on here to promote those websites so bye.

[Prof_Don]

OKCupid is very good for meeting people for free!

[myTake Owner]

i joined it actually its still money invovle.

[MaskedSanity]

Okcupid doesn't block crucial functions such as messaging other users forcing you to reach for your wallet.

The subscription is for added perks, such as viewing profiles anonymously, etc.

I met my boyfriend on Okcupid, didn't pay a penny and we've been together for nearly 4 years. 😛

[myTake Owner]

@MaskedSanity Yes I know that :P just pointing out there is still money paying invovle but I like how the site doesn't make it where they trying to get you to sent them money.

[RedThread]

I wouldn't be comfortable with online dating because I like being able to have that vocal and physical interaction with someone. It adds way more depth and understanding than the internet can. It's hard to truly know a person online.

[Ihav2fart]

Pro: @MissNowhere can't hurt my little bastard
Con: @MissNowhere Maybe my little bastard wants to get hurt

[MissNowhere]

Ohh it DEFINITELY wants to get hurt.

[Berethor]

What about knowing more details on the other side in a date site, and not only how they looks?

[Thrifty]

I am opening my mind about online dating. But I still stand by my stance that you don't really know, though, until you talk face to face.

[A-Y-Y-Y--L-M-A-O]

pro: it's being accepted more

but good myt could help some people out

[myTake Owner]

what you mean by your pro?

[A-Y-Y-Y--L-M-A-O]

like it didn't used to be accepted by people but a lot more people are doing it now

[myTake Owner]

Well I guess but there still some people against it now a days.

[apple24]

I like this mytake thank you!