The Inherent Flaws in Online Dating


The Inherent Flaws in Online Dating

Too specific

If I say imagine the person you think you'll end up with then the chances are you're going to choose someone who looks somewhat like you. This is natural as I just asked you the most logical conclusion to your love story. The thing with online dating is that you have so much power to choose rather than meeting up out of being in the same place at the same time. When you're talking to someone and they're talking to you it's because you both think the other is attractive and makes sense given what you want out of the app or site. This leads to a lot of preconceived notions about what someone will be like based on what they look like.

Too little commitment

Ghosting is a lot easier when you meet through the internet. You don't really feel like you owe this person anything. The truth is, unless someone harassed you then you owe it to them to at least say you're not interested.

The Inherent Flaws in Online Dating

Too imaginary

When you text a lot and talk on the phone but don't meet up there's a lot of room for the imagination to take hold. The problem with this is that reality doesn't often live up to imagination. You can find yourself spending time with someone only to find out that they really aren't who you wanted them to be and while that's ok and they should stay themselves--you may not have as much in common with this new person.

Too many of the same problems

People who use dating sites I think it's safe to say do not have an overflowing dating life from people they meet in person. That's not to say all internet daters are unattractive and/or weird. For whatever reason, however, everyone on a dating app by definition has a problem which inhibits them from dating in person first. This again relates to point 1 about too specific, people don't meet randomly on a dating app that part of the game is an illusion. Even if two people meet up and then one day get married I'd still say that that's both of them settling by definition of the fact that they would have preferred to meet in person first.

The Inherent Flaws in Online Dating
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  • coachTanthony
    Online dating is the future... I have plenty of clients who are married now thanks to online dating and they could give two shits how they found one another. Good read...

    A small excerpt from my book: Enjoy

    So you are out and about with your friends on a Friday night and start to flirt with all kinds of people. This may take anywhere from 10-30 minutes before possibly exchanging a phone number. During the interaction you were lucky enough to maybe catch their humor, their wit, their sassiness. Hell they may have smelled like blueberry pie on a warm spring day. This my friends is what is missing with online dating.

    This entire interaction just doesn’t happen online. You really don’t have much of a barometer besides photos and words in a profile. Sometimes you can sense the humor… many times not. Do they have a sense of humor? Are they sassy? Do they smell good…yes seriously…don’t be creepy? We don’t know any of this until we actually meet up. So I instruct all my clients to do a chemistry meet up. This is a small coffee date that allows this type of interaction to happen. A small date usually will let you know whether or not there is some type of chemistry.

    I do not recommend a first online date. Just a small meet up for coffee is a lot less intimidating and if you don’t like them you can get the hell out of there in a reasonable amount of time. Don’t get stuck in a 3 hour date to nowhere. I always recommend a time constraint and schedule for Saturday morning or afternoon. Let them know you have something to attend too at a certain time. This allows you to leave if necessary. You can always have lunch or dinner that night if you are interested and things seem to be going well. Try and make sure there is a good lunch spot near by in case you do end up hitting it off.
    • pavlove

      Thanks for this glad to have a professional in our midst

  • SadpersonT
    I like this information. Thank you. I will be sure to be cautious about online dating in the future.
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