Dating As A Black Man, and Why it Remains Difficult


Honestly, it is hard to be black in America; it truly is. However, we will discuss all the many reasons why it is hard to be black in America in another discussion. In this discussion, I want to talk about black people in the dating world; more specifically, being a black guy in the dating world.

Before I begin this take, you have probably guessed it already. Yes, I am a black man. I am 25 years of age. I am currently working on my Masters. I am a senior project manager for a web development firm. I have my own condo (working on getting a house) I have a car. I am very articulate. I am also a snappy dresser. Why am I telling you all this? I am not trying to brag about my accomplishments; however, a lot of people have it in their heads that black guys are "savages, thugs and aren't very bright". I have seen black men like this, but only in the ghetto. Not all black men are like this, and all of my friends that are black also have advanced degrees and great jobs.

As a black man in the dating world, it's tough. Here's an example of what I experience through online dating when I try to talk to women of different races:

A lot of the time, we are instantly shut down because of the color of our skin. This has happened to me often. I would often see this a girl's profile, in which it would read, "I DO NOT date black guys" or "I am NOT attracted to black guys". If you think that's bad? I tried talking to this woman online before, and she instantly replied to me saying, "I do not date n*ggers". However... that's just the tip of the iceberg.

When I was a kid, I grew up in an affluent white environment. All of my friends were white, all of my classmates were white, all of my teachers were white, and all the women I dated (or tried to date - lol) were also white. In 2009, immediately after high school, my parents told me that they were moving to Dallas, Texas and invited me to come along. I wanted to see what the world had to offer me and I wanted a change of pace. After moving to Texas, I was in awe. There were so many different women of different races; however, I started to really have a thing for black women. While I am attracted to all different races and have dated women of various races, I just started to steadily become attracted to black women. However, I have actually never dated a black woman in my life.

It seems that black women in our society have tastes for 2 types of men:

Thug Black Guys:

Dating As A Black Man, and Why it Remains Difficult

I have talked and tried to get to know many black women since moving to Texas. However, it's all the same. They tell me they have dated men who are thugs and are in trouble with the law and that they are looking for a nice, down to Earth, educated man to form a relationship with. I often think to myself, "Hey, I am a nice, down to Earth, educated man" and I give them that, but they start ignoring me and end up dating another thug guy, until he breaks her heart and the cycle continues.

This video speaks volumes of what I am talking about:

White Guys:

Dating As A Black Man, and Why it Remains Difficult

Don't get me wrong at all, interracial dating does not bother me. What does bother me, however, is when people choose to date interracially because they do not like their race or are ashamed of their race and want out.

It seems that more and more black women are choosing to date white men for that very reason. I have talked to black women, only to be told, "I only date white guys". When you go to online dating sites and you see in a black woman's profile, "Swirl life" or "I love white men", they are basically telling you that they only date white guys.

This question speaks volumes of what I have also experienced on my end as a black guy:

And so does this article:

It seems that the educated black men are losing because black women tend to only want to date thugs or they want white men.

Dating As A Black Man, and Why it Remains Difficult
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43Girl Opinion
44Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • RationalMale
    The problems black guys face in dating... are problems made by the black community. And I note that your first problem you list is that women of other races don't want to date black men.

    Women being loyal to men of their own race... is not a bad thing. Loyalty is a virtue. If a woman feels such loyalty towards her people and towards her culture that she only wants to date in her own race, that's a good thing for her.

    And yes, it is a damn good thing when white women only want to date white men. That's a strong majority in real life and it's great.

    Second, if black women don't want to date black men... that's not us white guy's fault. Don't you go blaming media or some crap. If black women don't want to date black men, that's the result of the collective reputation of black men and/or her experience with black men. The fact that about 3/4 black births are out of wedlock doesn't help you if a black woman wants commitment.

    I assure you, we white guys are not going out to find black women. Only a small amount of white men want to date black women. The vast majority want white women, some want Asians, and a few want hispanic women.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • I'm a white guy myself. However I've met other educated black guys who have this problem. It's sad because they are trying to do the right thing and get ahead. However they face issues on two fronts: other blacks degrade them for "acting white" and not "keeping it real" and us whites have that initial negative image of them.

      I say this as a conservative white guy by the way. I think silly movements such as BLM are making this WORSE than better. However I've met enough good black men/women in my life that I want to treat them as brothers/sisters (all blood is red). However at the same time I'll never respect the "thug lifestyle". Our stupid ass entertainment industry/hollywood has glorified the black "thug" for the last 25 years. Stupid uneducated white kids (another other races) "look up" to the gangsta black man as well. We got to move on from this crap and glorify the educated black man as the real bad ass.

    • Azara

      loyalty to a 'race' .. there's no such thing.

    • Azara

      you can't tell a persons race from looking at them.

Most Helpful Girl

  • EllieLexis513
    Um... black men are losing out because so many of them adhere to the stereotype. I'm a black woman myself and the black guys where I live ARE thugs unfortunately. I won't date any of them up here, but that doesn't mean I'd never date a black guy ever.

    Personally, I think black women have it much harder than black men do when it comes to dating.
    LikeDisagree 21 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • If your on about online dating try sending messages to guys and perfecting your photo.
      To be fair I need to work on my profile photo the lightings all wrong and the quality isn't that good but even if I haven't done the best job yet my self I intend to as it's basically the most important thing for online dating.

      Being a black woman shouldn't stop you dating.
      I've seen some really hot black women and I don't think going cross race is a big deal for most guys it certainly doesn't have anything like the effect of having kids or a second chin or your amount of facial symmetry or even not being the guys preferred height.

    • @sedrftvgyhujik... what does any of that have to do with my opinion?

    • You said you thought black women have it much harder.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • MeganKiLLs
    I just dont find black men attractive although i love black people..
    Its just that black men lack the baby face features of a latino or white boy..
    Like those sorft features.. lips, nose, the hair, soft skin color, the cute catty eyes.. <3
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • Anonymous

      Oh... I understand. Everyone likes what they like. Now... I want you to imagine being told that "you are not good enough to date because of your skin color" basically everyday and by black women as well. Everyone prefers the white boy first and then the hispanic guy, because they are similar to white guys, but slightly more tan.

    • chc0009

      Typical. White and Latino guys get the lion's share, while black, East Asian, Middle Eastern, and South Asian men get thrown in the dumpster.

  • pr3ttybr0wn
    please dont judge black women because in the same way you are generalizing us, women of other races generalize you. you are not a special snowflake. there are other educated black men and women and we tend to date each other. granted, this may depend on location and demographics

    where im from there are a lot of thugs. like true thugs as in certified gang members, drug dealers and murderers but nobody really wants them except for the hoodrats. hopefully you're not goin after those types lol

    then you have the working class/poorer black guys. they are not always thugs but can often be easily classed (stereotyped) as thugs by people who dont really know better. for example a guy from the hood who may have a few misdemeanors from like 10 years ago isn't really a thug to me, but i can see how someone else who is removed from the black community may assume he is at first glance. for example the picture of the black guy with the tattoos smoking a cigar does not look like a thug to me. it could be a regional thing (im from atlanta) but i dont see thug when i look at him. he looks more alternative/rock and roll or possibly tattoo-owner ish to me.

    anyways black women dont require a guy to be a thug or white to date. thats a generalization and honestly just sounds silly. so you really think most black women will not date a black guy unless he is an active gang member with tattoos on his face or a white boy? really? i know you dont believe that lol. if you are getting turned down, dont automatically assume its because you're not a thug
    Like 2 People
  • Starrk
    Black men have it nowhere near as bad as Black women and Asian men. Black men at least have some positive stereotypes that benefits them in the dating world unlike black women and Asian men who don't really have any redeeming stereotypes to assist them in the dating world.

    Also, educated black women are at an even greater lost because statistically educated black women outnumber educated black men. This results in an educational imbalance and it forces educated black women to date below their own educational status which is why you see many educated black women with black thugs. The few educated black men that do exist tend to date interracially which hurts educated black women chances of finding a black partner whose her equal.

    Regardless of all this, I advise you to stay away from online dating sites. For some odd reason people become more picky when they get behind a computer screen. The same girls who you see writing "No Black Guys" on their profiles are usually the same girls who have a history of dating black guys. So never take preferences on dating sites to heart because they are nowhere near as rigid as you think they are.
    Like 2 People
  • ManOnFire
    Mmmmm, some of this is true, and I'm black myself. But you still have a LOT of white girls who love dating us. In fact black guy-white girl relationships are the most common interracial relationships in America, probably next to black guy-Latina ones. I've gotten some bad reception from some white girls, but most of it has been good.
    LikeDisagree 6 People
    • RedThread

      It's actually white-hispanic pairings followed by white-asian then it's black-white

    • ManOnFire

      @RedThread No, I still think black-white have to be the most common, and then those other ones. Either way, even if they really are first, black men are still not failing as bad as he's saying.

    • RedThread

      Yeah you can look up the stats but yeah I wasn't saying black men or women are failing in dating by any means.

    • Show All
  • lyannamormont
    I think this take gives some insights into a black man's world and feelings so I like it.

    I think both black women and black meb suffer from that, i can tell as a white person whose closest friend is a beautiful black lady. She states that she prefers to date black men but she can't find a nice looking guy with saggy clothes and with good education since she has a ms degree and works as a manager of a data analysts team in her company. She said so far the ones she dated were nice looking educated by still somehow had that thug feeling in the relationship. Though I do not know what she means by that. As a white women I have dated and been attracted to black men. But most of who approached me were thugs, and very rude and sexually explicit when approahing me. so even unwillingly i can sadly admit that I have that stereotype too. I dont and have not used online dating but the trust in those platforms, i am sure, also the chance of finding a good man whether white Asian or black must be very low so please do not discourage or despise yourself in dating arena. I am sure your significant one is out there waiting for you. Good luck.
    Like 1 Person
  • vishna
    I will 100% agree that black guys have a disadvantage with the numbers game. Let's be real, all my senior year white friends were told by their parents to not date black people or were told their parents preferred if they didn't. So, a lot of women grow up having this feeling that black men are 'less than'... say a white man... or Asian... etc. Ok, so, that's a lot of people gone.

    On to black women-That being said, I dunno where you live but all over my facebook are educated black women craving and praising black men. I mean posts like this are everywhere.

    Ok, and as a woman who is half black-I don't date 'thugs' because that's not how I grew up, that's not my culture. Some black women date 'thugs' because they might have things in common. Yea, I'm dating a white guy now, but the last one was a black guy who wasn't a thug, went to college, and fucked up cause he lost me (lol, I had too XD)

    That being said, I'm not going to say you aren't experiencing difficulties within the black community in finding a partner-why not go on Black people meet. com or something? Lots of black people with similar education, place in life, etc.

    And lastly, that guy in picture one isn't a 'thug', he's a hipster dammit! Glasses, check. Cigar, check. Tattoos, check. Freakin suspenders, check. Hipster.
    • chc0009

      Well, I'm educated, tall (6'2"), funny (awkward humor), family oriented and look good (166 lbs). But not white or Latino, I'm Asian.

  • Battooot
    dude, you just find it difficult because you think it's like that. It's really not. Where are you living, open your eyes. Tons of girls prefer BLACK guys over anything. i met at least 4 girls, 4 sexybomb pretty beautiful girls, who rejected me because i wasn't black! and look at me i'm not even that bad!

    Also, the thing with thugs, it's not true. Not all women are like that, that's first of all. 2nd of all, you definitely, DEFINITELY, do not want to be with a woman who is into THUGS. SO if you meet one like that then you should just be happy you found out early how in-genuine and unsmart she is.
    Just have more faith in yourself and more confidence and go out there and don't care what girls or people think. Yes every one will have tastes that's normal. But there are tons of white/black girls who prefer black men over others, or at least appreciate them a lot. Black guys actually have more chances than others because they are known for their strong genes and ability to develop muscles stronger and faster than others, and also to be generally hung down there.

    Just go find the women who have your taste
  • Maik567
    I agree with most of this but there are plenty of white girls who say stuff like "I only date black guys". There are also plenty of black guys who only wanna date white girls, and there are even some white guys who only want to date black girls. So it's not some specific thing that works only "against" black guys.
    Like 5 People
    • But do they truly want to be with you or are you just some fetish for them?

    • Maik567

      @BubbleBoy69 I agree 100%, If they started telling me how much they love white guys and how they would never date their own race that would be a huge red flag.

  • FakeName123
    You throw a few things together, but I don't think your conclusions are quite right to make.

    1. Online dating is suicide for men. You simply do not have good chances there, if you aren't on Brad Pitt level of looks. You have to understand that online many more guys find the guts to approach a girl than they actually do in actual life. This means that the girls around online are getting leverage in their social status and dating hierachy. Not to mention that most guys doing online dating are already low on the ranking in the dating world and thus girls already think less of you for online dating to begin with (yes, dont need to talk about the hypocrisy of it.. Means you will always fight uphill.

    And that is without taking into consideration all the limitations that online dating involves. So go out and speak to girls in the actual world. You see a cute girl grocery shopping? Find your balls and go over to her.

    2. Girls who look for serious, comitted relationships avoid ghetto and thugs. @ElliLexis513 said something like this already. And lets face it - the most ghettos and most thugs are black. Thus it is naturally an uphill battle for any decent black person to show that they aren't part of that stereotype. And lets face it - a lot of modern black communities are freaking toxic and self-destructive. If I was a girl I would be careful around potential black partners as well in america. Things would look different in other countries though.

    In addition to this there comes also a few other issues. Black girls who want non-thug boyfriends will start looking to date non-blacks based on that since their chance of finding a decent guy simply increases by that. And girls who are specifically into black guys should be a red flag for you, because they are into black guys for certain stereotypes. You want to avoid that.

    Another issue occurs with the girl you mentioned saying she doesn't want to date thugs anymore, but someone decent. Frankly - those girls are full of shit. Dont even listen to them. As you figured, they will keep on dating those. Why? Either because they have self-identity issues, a certain level of self-masochism ("I deserve to be treated badly") or only think with their pussy, but nothing else. Possibly a combination of those.
    • With stay away from girls who only want black guys I mean non-black girls. Generally most people prefer to date among their own ethnicity so if those specifically state they are into black guys its likely they look for something very different than you are and look for.

      3. Accept that you stand out. As a black in a majorily white country you will stand out. Nothing you can do about it. So accept it and stand up to it. Also you will stand out among certain black communities, because you aren't like them either.

      Anecdote time: A good friend of mine who is into lots of metal-music often has people look weird at him because when we go into scene-clubs he sticks out by being the complete opposite in appearance of what is the general scene dress-code. He looks more like someone who is about to sell you insurances. But you know what? He just aces it. He packs his balls on the table and sticks to it and after first irritations it was never a problem with girls.

    • And last but not least - take every advice that girls tell you about dating with a grain of salt. Most girls have no clue what they actually want. You just go out and learn by doing. Approach girls, have confidence. I also wrote a take about it here:

  • CurlyBookWriter
    Well, I am mixed with white and black. My mom is white, and my dad is black. So I get the best of both worlds. I don't really have a specific race that I would want to date. I just want someone who will treat me like I should be treated. I don't care if you are white, black, mixed, Asian, Latino, Middle Eastern. I just want someone who loves me for me
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • MeganKiLLs

      Im the same way, but i tend to lean more towards white or Hispanic men..

    • Anonymous

      @MeganKiLLs Of course. Most women do.

  • phil2
    dating in general is hard dude. and also that is why when you have found someone who even likes you a little bit, you hold on and you work at it to make it work. I hate dating. everyone has their own problems and I understand you want to find the love of your life and you are hitting some walls. don't let it hinder your way of thinking, continue to have hope and you will find your partner. good luck
    Like 1 Person
    • Vivaldi

      It is very hard for short non-muscular guys but tall muscular guys. 2 things are too important.

      Being Tall
      Being Muscular

      If the guy doesn't have both of these qualities, then it can be fuckin difficult for the guy to date a girl.

      Even a 158 cm girl doesn't want to date a man who is under 180 cm. She says a man can't be under 180 cm. How the hell can a man be under 180 cm? It sucks.

  • abundantlyrich
    You take online dating too seriously. Its full of riddle talkers and fakes.
    LikeDisagree 11 People
  • DWornock
    Being a black guy definitely has its advantages in the USA. You could say it is the black athletes vs. the white nerds. Most teenage girls go nuts over black athletics and turn up their pretty little noses at white nerds.

    However that advantage is magnified because there are 6 whites for every black and, I believe that for sex, about 20 percent of teenage white girls prefer black guys and that 20% x 6 or 1.2 white girls for every black guy. And, because very few white guys will date black girls there is approximately 1 black girl for every black guy. Added together 1.2 white girls and 1 black girl means on average there are 2.2 girls available for every black guy. And, most of these girls will fuck a black guy; that is, most of the black girls and especially the white girls that date black guys will fuck a black guy.

    One reason black guys are so attractive to white and black girls, perhaps the main reason, is because black guys are more masculine, taller, more athletic, and, should it come to that, the girls and both the white guy and black guy knows the black guy can kick the white guy’s a$$. Not only that but having so many girls available give the black guys the confidence and cockiness that is so appealing to girls. And, since most teenage white girls that prefer to date black guys are quick to drop their panties for black guys, the black guys take their virginity

    You should pity the poor white guys. With 20 percent white girls choosing black guys for sex, that means, in effect, there are 5 white guys for every 4 white girls. That may not sound like a lot and it is not for the elite white guys but is devastating for the less desirable white guys. Furthermore, unlike the girls that date black guys, on average, the girls that only date white guys are far less sexually active and not near as willing to have sex. And, these white girls tend to keep the white guys at arm’s length. That causes white guys to lose confidence which make them even less attractive to white girls.

    However, that changes by mid to late twenties because, even though for sex, 20 percent of white girls prefer black guys, when they want a baby; that is marriage, they choose white guys. White Americans are statistically the least likely to marry outside of their race. Per the 2010 US Census, in the US there are 56.5 million marriages and only 422 thousand white/black marriages. Therefore, less than one percent of white women marry black guys.
  • NatashaJ
    The video reminds me of a white guy message me with "waz up n** lips" by the way I'm half white and half Hispanic its hard for a lot of people because you can't find decent on the internet. This is why I'm isolating myself from dating until I'm ready to date again because I am fed up.
    • LadyBug69

      Try dating Hispanics, they are definitely worth it <3

    • NatashaJ

      @LadyBug69 I like white and Hispanics XD

    • Rick-Lewis

      This topic is about black men, how do you feel about them?

    • Show All
  • annie2016
    I am one person who doesn't really care about the physical attribute of a man as long as i like him or love him. Dating or having a relationship with someone need not dependent on his or her skin color. What matters most is how you will treat her or him. I always give my all when i love someone.
  • burlen
    An interesting coincidence as this post is akin to a BBC feature article published yesterday. See "What it's like for ethnic minorities dating online":
    • Anonymous

      Very interesting find. I like that. As a black woman, she has noticed that her white girlfriends got more attention than her. I feel that same way... HOWEVER.. it seems that a lot of women these days fetishsize white men, especially black women.

    • burlen

      I relate with your experiences 100% given that I have had my own share of racial prejudice and discrimination in online and offline dating as a black guy. I'm highly educated, very fit, and earn a decent salary in a prestigious job.

  • somebodysaycheese
    The amount of black men dating and having kids outside their race is growing. especially those marrying outside their race. Statistically in the next 20 years biracial people ( white and black) eill ne the face of the U. S and fashion industry exotic biracial people are being created at high rates.
    Disagree 2 People
  • LadyBug69
    ill rather date a Hispanic or white guy but i dont mind being friends with blacks
    Like 3 People
    • Anonymous

      Oh... I understand. Everyone likes what they like. Now... I want you to imagine being told that "you are not good enough to date because of your skin color" basically everyday and by black women as well. Everyone prefers the white boy first and then the hispanic guy, because they are similar to white guys, but slightly more tan.

    • LadyBug69

      I think its more of the soft facial features..
      The cute catty eyes/eyebrows, nose, soft lips and the hair plays a big part..
      I love Latinos <3

  • front2back
    I've never once seen on Tinder where a hole has said "no black guys" but rather the opposite.
    And yeah I agree with the race baiting thing. I'll see picture where they'll put "looking to get my swirl on! 👱🏻" in their profile and I instantly swipe left.
    Like 1 Person
  • Tdieseler
    I know exactly what you are talking about and I try to ride the fine line between the two stereotypes but ultimately, i tend not to let it get to me.
    If I lock on to a target, all her stereotypes can kiss my ass...
  • JohnDoe3000
    1) Online dating is sh*t and not representative of offline dating (even for white men).

    2) I think black men can definitely get dates, but... they have to try harder to not look like thugs than white men or they won't get dates: a white men can get away with casual clothing and not mentioning an education, a black men needs to be sharply dressed and mention his degree and occupation.
  • BabyLaLa69
    Im not gunna lie, all ill ever date is white men or Hispanic/Latino is as far as ill go..
    Its just that black men have such a bad
    Reputation that my parents will not accept..
    Another thing is mixed babies, I've heard that white people would rather want a white/latin mix than any other look..
    Its not that people are racist, its more about preferences...
    & The reason black woman are dating outside may be because black men have took it too far
    • Anonymous

      You mentioned:
      "Its not that people are racist, its more about preferences"

      It's all about race. What you said here - "black men have such a bad reputation" and "black men have took it too far", just shows it comes down to race.

      What people fail to realize, is that, not all black people are bad. The media only shows the ugly side of black society. There's also an ugly side of white society and an ugly side of hispanic society, but those are downplayed by the media.

      Based on my personality and credentials I listed above in my take:
      " I am currently working on my Masters. I am a senior project manager for a web development firm. I have my own condo (working on getting a house) I have a car. I am very articulate. I am also a snappy dresser."

      Does the media talk about black men like me?

  • NotTheFBI
    here's a thought; don't chase dumbasses that chase the 'thug stereotype' :v
    I'm doing more than fine in the dating department and I mean that for all races not just black women by the way. Also, it's more of the attitude that makes dating and attracting women for me very easy.

    Ok... that's it... I'm writing a book.
  • KiaTate
    Has anyone ever told you assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups? I'm not always attracted to thugs. White guys are cool but I'll always have a thing for black men... Nerdy, athletic, funny, romantic, thuggish. Black men are sexy.
    You think being a black man is hard?
    I have to ask myself if someome is interested in me because I am black. Because a lot of people are not interested in dating because they assume I'm hood or only interested because I'm black and think I'm a freak in bed or that I'm easy.
    Don't even get me started on black men who think black women are shit and don't deserve to be happy. 😑
    Like 1 Person
    • Anonymous

      You mentioned:
      I'm not always attracted to thugs.

      So... you are attracted to thugs?

  • babeeeone
    I actually hate the "thug" type, that guy in the first pic looks really good to me though. I see where you're coming from, it's a bad stereotype, and just being black in general you'll get those kind of assumptions made about you. If I'm dating a black guy then I want him to be the opposite of the thug type. More similar to me in many of those things, just like the way you described yourself.
  • SovereignessofVamps
    I haven't seen this at all. All I see when I go out is black guys being with either white or Latina girls. And I see black women with white guys too. No one cares.
    Disagree 4 People
  • Jackblue
    You are aware that white female black male relationships are a lot more common than the reverse right.
    Like 5 People
  • oddwaffle
    Well you don't need to cry because you are not alone. According to Okcupid, Asian men are the ones having the 2nd least respond compare to everyone else. However, Asian men earn more than anyone else including white men.
  • Mayamoon02
    Move to England! All the stylish black men get the best looking women. You see it everywhere. Of course not all are created equal so not everyone has a sexy attitude.
    Its easier for a black guy to look clean cut and fresh for some reason. Plus you are better at chatting up women. Maybe its cause in the UK we have a lot of Jamaicans! Lol (2nd generation after their parents arrived in the 70's)

    I have been to California and American black men are sexy!! So confident!! Mmmm

    But there are a lot of black men who have no class and go after easy women.
    These black men tend to gather in large groups of guys that dress the same - loosing individuality and lowering the quality.
    As long as you aren't like them - you just need to believe in your advantages.
    I am pretty sure Asian men have a harder time dating.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • Mayamoon02

      P. S. Anyone who has a racial preference is a twat and not worth dating in the first place. Probably can't attract a turd in real life thats why they enjoy putting others down.
      Its just rude. They need to learn to keep it to themselves :)

    • Mayamoon02

      No one is forcing anyone to date against preference but the fact people feel the need to say it means that there is a consensus that these groups of people are inferior dating material therefore you can show disrespect and get away with it. Which is messed up!!

    • Can you elaborate on why you think Asian men have a harder time dating. I agree with you, but would like to know your take on it.

    • Show All
  • Cs428
    black guys are actually my type. i have only been with black guys. One i was out with once was a nerdy black guy, he was a wimp but i did like him. And another one i like acts kinda like a thug but he is going to college far away now.
  • Negrodamuss
    It's certainly harder but the options are still plentiful. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Online dating in general isn't really that great for men, so I tend to avoid it
    Like 1 Person
    • For a second, I thought you were the one wrote this take lol

    • @BuchitaBuchys hell's naw xD

    • Do you feel it's hard for you?

    • Show All
  • AesthetiusSied
    yeah lmao its pretty dumb. I had to get super jacked and really improve my looks to get any attention. At least they want a black guys whos like half white and I've heard dumb stuff like "im not racist i just specifically dont like black guys"
    and im just here like "uhh ok".
    • Anonymous

      I have to do the same thing. I cannot be a regular looking black guy to get attention. For example... I cannot just wear a t-shirt, pants, shoes.

      I have to wear blazers, fitted jeans, boots... just to get some attention from the ladies.

      Also... the women that I do meet that like black guys... they prefer the light skinned black guys. Lol. So, if you are a light skinned guy, you will do better with women.


  • TokyoGhoulLover
    Hey I feel you bro but don't give up there are still girls, (like me but
    Like 1 Person
    • I dont know you like that) who are African American who love African American men. I too have nothing against interracial dating, but people like me find that it is much easier to date other African Americans because there is that Empathic Connection that people who are not African American cannot truly grasp. "I know your pain because I feel it everyday and we need someone to say I know and that It will get better" so yeah man don't give up perhaps you should try different types of women or different places because there are many sisters that are still and forever will be down for our black men.

    • Oh and P. S. want to escape the stereotypes and hatred? African Americans are trying a new tactic which is COME OVER TO THE WEST INDIES! WE LOVE YA AND HEY GUESS WHAT, WE'RE BLACK TOO! I myself am half west indian (St. Kitts and Nevis) It is literally an island in a chain of 20 islands that are filled with educated, kind black women and our population on the islands are dwindling. Please come here, you get more for your money, you can escape this society of ridicule and hatred and its a place that loves people like yourself come home!

  • polite-girl
    well I'm Middle eastern girl who is white (white skinned) and I think Black guys and girls are really beautiful <3 <3 I'm sorry about the bad experiences you went through.
  • boatfullofpeace
    What about the growing percentage of black men who don't date black women, because of colorism in America where black men are indirectly taught to hate the color of their own skin? Most black women I know would never date a thug. You probably need to meet more women in real life and in respectable places in real life. I understand what you're saying but you're judging based off a very small percentage of online daters. I'm sure you can find someone who you're looking for, just change where you look.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
  • the_rake
    nah... white girls love black guys, maybe more so than they do white guys. and it is just a preference.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • the_rake

      I would never write "no blacks" on my online dating profile though. that's just a crude and insensitive way of putting it.

    • That;s a major crock of shit. You either know a bunch of nasty ass whiteys or you're projecting your own love of the crusty purple dong.

    • the_rake


      I don't know what you're talking about. For one thing I'm straight, for another thing I prefer white girls. I just happen to see a lot of white girls that are totally infatuated with black guys... and more power to them.

  • ummbaby
    I prefer Black and dark Hispanic men, actually, I love tattoo's, and I don't think one "thug" is all the black men in the Black race.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    • Giacomanzo

      @Vivaldi Even if it was the case... so what?

    • Vivaldi


      It sure is the case.

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  • ihateheroicleishin
    My family is horrifically racist, white, wealthy, high social status etc. When I was young the first person I had feelings for was a black man. I asked permission from my dad to date him, he said no you don't mix races. I invited him over to my house to hang out, my family HUMILIATED him. I made the choice then and there not to date anyone until I was older, and they couldn't tell me what to do I never wanted anyone to be subjected to that kind of cruelty again.

    My next boyfriend (now my ex ) was malteese but he looked white ish, he flew under the radar they had no idea. I have a boyfriend now, but if in the future I were to date anyone of a different race I'd be terrified to bring them near my family. I'd feel like I'd have to protect them constantly. I don't know if it's morally right to date someone knowing your family will try to hurt them.
  • Ssimon91
    Im a Dark Skinned black guy in NY. and dating is funny as hell. i get rejected by some black girls cause im "too dark" or they assume im the Thug going " GANG GANG GANG BLAT BLAT BLAT " due to guys they had in the past.

    then when i start dating a white girl who for whatever reason is into me (Ranges from actual Attraction to a Dick fetish) all the sudden im the guy who hate my race and what not. LOL EXCUSE ME?

    Then the funny thing about that is, In my experince, the girls who try to pull that BS later on admit they dont even date black guys to begin with. So tell me. if you aren't going to date me , And im not allowed to date the white girl other wise im a traitor, then who am i suppose to Date, lol.

  • Sigil
    This is so bogus.. I will just puth this here.
  • Megan9969
    Currently dating a Latino boy although my 1st preference is white men & I feel so bad because i can't see my self dating a black guy.
    And i feel like a hypocrite because i tell my friends to date who ever they want although i only date two type of men.
    I just find white & Latinos explosively attractive most of all the time !!
    When i introduced my boyfriend
    (Mexican American) to my dad (white) he seemed happy & just all smiles. Even though he prohibited me before from dating non whites!
    I just dont see the same reaction if my boyfriend was black..
    There are so many bad stereotypes of black men & many i which seem to be true every time i turn on the news :x
    Like 1 Person
    • BabyLaLa69

      I feel the same way.. Everything you said is how i see it..

    • Frankie1G

      We cute we cute its that simple..

    • Megan9969

      Omg dude lol u scared the shit out of me xD.. You look soooo much like my ex !!
      I went on your profile and my heart stopped lmao..
      Follow me cutie <3
      Dont be shy

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  • zombiebabe
    oh :/ don't take online dating seriously..
    i hope you'll find yourself a nice girl soon!
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • NatashaJ

      Exactly online dating just show the nutjobs, pervs and assholes of the internet.

  • Izzex3
    Not all black women just like thugs and white guys.
    Good luck with your dating.
    Like 1 Person
  • rjroy3
    Ok. This is a mental barrier. The biggest issue you'll have to deal with in dating as a black guy is girls having a "usual" preference of white guys. The majority of girls I've dated said they never pictured themselves dating a black guy, before they met me. Most girls are pretty flexible when it comes to looks.

    As far as dealing with people in general as a black guy, then yea that's a little different. There's certain issues that people of other ethnicities will probably never have to deal with because of the stereotypes revolving around our ethnicity as well as racism. But I know most problems stem from shooting yourself in the foot. Get out of your own way and life gets easier.

    Plus, some stereotypes are fun to embrace if you know what I mean.
  • zagor
    Where did you live before Texas? Just curious as to how you compare the places you've lived in regards to the subject matter.

    • Anonymous

      I lived in Vermont. It's extremely white. Like, I was literally the only black kid in my school when I lived there. Only dated white women then, which was easier, because that's all Vermont had to offer.

    • zagor

      I guess that would be a drastic change. Here in California it seems everyone dates everyone.

      I can't speak from personal experience, being white, but at the companies I've worked at I've noticed most of my black male co-workers are not in a relationship. They are generally educated, well-dressed, and not particularly shy (for engineers, anyway). The only two who were married were married to a white woman and an Asian woman.

  • Abe90
    i don't "hate" my own kind, i just don't fit in with them and get easily annoyed of them lol
  • harabi
    With such tats, regardless of race, it dating should be hard. Or just the opposite - given the rise of slutty girls (who are into bad boys)
  • John_Doesnt
    Anybody with those tattoos will have a hard time dating.
  • chc0009
    It's not just black men, it's browner men in general. Like East Asian, Middle Eastern, or South Asian men.

    I blame the media, since white or Latino men get the best treatment. Look who's always portrayed as the action hero or romantic? White men. Look who's gracing those modeling magazines? White or Latino men.

    Meanwhile, there's negative connotations associated with us browner folks, due to that stupid media plastered all over the walls. A lot of darker women want white men so badly, even if he's chubby and pimply.

    There's a saying that "he who has all the gold makes all the rules" in Aladdin. Well, white men have most of the gold and therefore, they make a lot of the rules.
    Like 1 Person
    • nfigure

      >>>>>>"There's a saying that 'he who has all the gold makes all the rules' in Aladdin."

      LOL that was one of my favorite parts in Aladdin. :D

    • desidoll

      "A lot of darker women want White men so badly" I know many who prefer Non White men and I am one of these women. I tend to go for the Middle Eastern men because I find them to be the most attractive.

  • NatashaBeauty
    I like guys all races I just like guys that are gonna treat me right