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Why Being Hard to Get is a GOOD THING: A Detailed Look into the Most Controversial Dating Tactic (Page 2)
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43Opinion
This is generally true though sometimes there are some rules to the exception.
Last week I had a date with this girl off OkC who is very physically attractive and has a lot of common interests, political views, and other viewpoints with me. I ended up staying at her place because I was too drunk to drive. I could have had sex with her but decided not to because I want more than that.
At least she wasn't too direct about it. We were outside smoking and she's like we can do whatever you want but one night stands are only fun while they last.
Nice take. Correct, playing hard to get is annoying but being hard to get? That's fun...
#challengeaccepted
So true Tony, besides #hardertogetgirlsdoyabetter
Ooooh, girl, I like that hashtag.
Lol, also true, very nice.
Yeah, but I don't know there are some women that are so convinced that they hate someone's guts. No matter how good you are to them, it won't ever happen. To me, they could be everything you are looking for and still you won't let your walls down. It scares you because its true, thus you stay avoidant
What does this have to do with the take? Not saying that rudely, I just am having a hard time making the connection. My take refers to the types of women LOOKING FOR RELATIONSHIPS, not the ones who don't want to be in one.
You are right that some women will push away all your advances, even if you are a good guy. They just may not be ready for a relationship yet. Perhaps they are that afraid of getting hurt. Either give her some time to figure out what she wants and to be ready to be in a relationship or move on.
How do you know that though, could be shy and testing your worthiness to date you etc. If rather have a your ugly I don't like you answer than to out my best foot forward and it seems like the message doesn't get across... sooo I try it again...
I just wanted to interject my offer, my thoughts whether or not it relevant or not. I like the challenge
..😈
@EmpatheticLady you dont know the half of it
Alrighty then.
But into appreciate your thoughts...
I do*
I guess it must be that jealous by putting ideas in her head not to even talk to coworkers..,
Point proven I presume blueseyes +1 pt
Huh?
Never mind
Nice my_take and i genuinely get bored of people like that who play games... which probably explains why relationships aren't started up for me anymore... >_> FACK!
Gahhhhhhh being single again sucks. But at least i ain't with psycho.
Lol if you play hard to get, i turn the tables and play impossible to get.. I ignore you and move on. I have zero patience for that.
I didn't advocate playing hard to get in this take. Lol.
Of Course not. Its just my opinion on the whole playing hard to get thing. On a side note, it was a well written my take.
Thank you I appreciate that.
All being hard to get does is creating a temporary and superficial attraction spike.
If you really are interested in a person I don't see the point and never will. If you just want to hookup, then thats a different story.
What is it that you don't see the point in?
The concept I presented is that a woman simply hold by her standards and not settle, and subsequently a man be patient in getting to know the type of woman explained in my take and accept the sort of minuscule "challenge" of winning her over in place of a superficial hookup.
I don't believe it's nothing more than a superficial attraction spike because that would suggest that her behavior itself was superficial, which I don't believe not settling or having standards not only isn't that, but it isn't actually uncommon in most women. Most women, to some respect are "harder to get" because those who want serious relationships have standards, have expectations, and so on that won't waver under pressure.
Mind you, I do actually say that women need to avoid being manipulative and actually do say as well that she has to take the man's desires and expectations into account as well to build a strong foundation. To me, that's not superficial.
Perhaps minuscule isn't the word - but the unforeboding challenge. It isn't intended to be some kind of slave work.
Holding yourself up to your own standards in a potential partner is not the same as playing hard to get. If I am interested in a person as a personal partner, then I want to get to know that person and necessairly go out of my way in order to do so. At the same time I expect the same or else it is clear that we have different investments into each other which will naturally lead to disaster.
Winning over implies that a lack of interest and investment. If I like a person I don't need to be won over, but just spend time to get to know each other more in-dept.
But I discussed the differences between playing hard to get and quote-on-quote being hard to get.
Playing hard to get is manipulative
Being harder to get is upholding your standards when you're dating and refusing to settle.
Or so that is my theory in my take, so you're attacking a notion that I don't even support.
Though I whole heartedly disagree. I don't suggest that by being won over by somebody that you have no interest, otherwise why would you even entertain this person? I state multiple times in my take that you also need to make your interest known, but in the sort of atypical courting practice (assuming you're still the type of man to pursue a woman) he is often the main initiator, at least in this set of circumstances I presented, and in those types of situations he primarily is trying to win her interest, and once he does she returns it. I wouldn't expect her to sit idly by.
I never at any point would suggest that a woman show no interest, and I don't think that by needing (or wanting) to be courted by a gent suggests that you aren't interested, otherwise, all of the women prior to our modern era who don't follow these trends would be with men they weren't even interested in. That would be my parents, their parents, and all the way back. I don't think that's fair to say that needing to be won over at all suggests you aren't interested as a whole, but you need to be intrigued. For women, that often is by a man's display of interest rather than raw attraction.
Of course you don't have to agree with my views but I still completely defend them.
Yes, I read that you differentiated between playing hard to get and being hard to get. I think we are talking a bit past each other in our definitions of certain aspects.
I will use an example. Let's say we know each other briefly for a month because same class at college. Mutual attraction is there and I initiate and ask you on a date. I don't expect you to make it any more difficult than that. You say yes, we meet up, we get to know each other from there. This is for me not "winning over", because there is no winning over to be done when things are mutual.
Oh no I agree, she should never be intentionally making it more difficult. All I suggest is sticking to your guns, that's it. Never should she be intentionally pushing him away or making things hard for him just for the sake of it.
But really, the two of you kind of win each other over. Call it whatever you want, but taking the time to even ask a woman on a date - considering there are men who wouldn't even do that much - is very much winning her over. Every little thing you do, can inspire a woman to be interested in you that much deeper.
But hey not everybody is going to agree, this is just the opinion I stand by.
If you want something in life, you gotta take the opportunity. Let's face it. If you try to, you may fail. But if you don't try, you have no chance of succeeding.
So if you have interest in a person you gotta approach. No matter if boy or girl. The guys who find excuses not to have no room to complain. Yes, it is difficult to approach a possibly stranger and get yourself vulnerable to rejection. But the alternative is never having tried to.
So I still don't count that as "winning over", but just creating an opportunity.
Everyone is undoubtedly going to have their own definition of it, there's no saying all things are one thing or another, it's a matter of perception.
Of course. Which is why I said that we might be talking past each other while meaning something similar.
That's what I'm suspecting too. Lol.
This take is more about having...& more importantly , maintaining standards , which is always a good thing. Never settle , good take. I would interpret " hard to get " game playing as " Not Interested " & quickly forget her !!
Well I never advocated playing hard to get. I also don't personally feel that if you have standards that you up hold that this is game playing.
Now where I will agree with you is if she is never willing to listen or consider working with someone to meet in the middle ground when it's appropriate? I'd agree that she's worthy of being forgotten too. It's give and take; have standards but don't be ridiculous.
Bravo,
Fantastic Take.
Bob Marley Speaks Truth =>
I WANT A FRIGGIN CHEESEBURGER
I'll get you a whole happy meal.
Nah dood gimme some Five Guys real quick
Alright, alright, captain picky-pants.
Oh wow shit just got real
If u can only afford a Happy Meal it's alright m9
Nah imma adult I can afford stuff like bills and burgers.
Owow I cannot as I am a child folk so I is tres grateful
Aw-yeh.
If she plays hard-to-get, she can play hard to find.
I agree.
No, it's not a good thing, especially for shy guys.
Well this take particularly (though the idea isn't limited to) applies to the type of men who actually approach, but even if you're a shy guy a girl can still pursue YOU and maintain these qualities.
I love girls who prefer to take the initiative ;)
Well I consider myself to be a harder to get woman and I have still initiated men. I just don't settle into a relationship or for sex with them so easily.
I appreciate that :)
Well there ya go, we're on the same page after all.
Yep, I guess so :D
not always being hard to get can make you seem like never getting often times.
I think that's only if you don't properly communicate. If you do properly communicate what your expectations are, what your feelings are, you're not likely going to run into this issue.
yeah but how many girls who play hard to get actually do that?
Playing hard to get
Intentionally stringing a guy along in an attempt to keep him interested by going hot and cold, often involves acting disinterested, not returning calls, setting ridiculous boundaries in the moment, etc. Generally the relationship will end up lack luster and one sided, because the woman played the guy with a false sense of superiority.
Being hard to get
Having personal standards that have to be met before dating, and standing by them without wavering, often involves openly voicing what you want to become of this, where your lines are, and keeps the lines of communication open without depriving a man of her interest. Generally the relationship is more fulfilling because she was harder to get for a reason, meaning she gives her ALL to the guy who is willing to put in a little effort to win her over.
The differences I discuss in the take that everyone seems to overlook.
I do see @RJGraveyTrain 's point here and it's true. The first girl she describes, the "player" is a fucking idiot who ends up alone... I see it again and again... she's played so much she has no clue what her standards ARE anymore and great guys are right there-and she fucks it up nearly instantly.
The 2nd girl IS a keeper and indeed the type we look for. The one with self respect, and refusal to compromise-I'm the same way and this is exactly what I look for.
I loved this! You did an amazing job!😍👌👍
I don't mind girls play hard to get but if it get too long then I'm not interested
I agree with you here actually. It can't be a waste of time.
not cause you and society consider you as an object, you do the same to others
I don't believe I ever stated any of that, sir. Lol.
playing hard to get ,
to consider the best option, and to determine who is willing to take your shit, sorry i have no other way to say it
as if you are buying a car or something
the problem is most of women who make this strategy fall for a womanizer who has higher skills
she plays harder to get the best, a womanizer come ruin her, make her a leftover and then all her options vanish lol
I didn't advocate playing hard to get in this mytake. This leads me to believe you didn't actually read it, did you?
Playing hard to get
Intentionally stringing a guy along in an attempt to keep him interested by going hot and cold, often involves acting disinterested, not returning calls, setting ridiculous boundaries in the moment, etc. Generally the relationship will end up lack luster and one sided, because the woman played the guy with a false sense of superiority.
Being hard to get
Having personal standards that have to be met before dating, and standing by them without wavering, often involves openly voicing what you want to become of this, where your lines are, and keeps the lines of communication open without depriving a man of her interest. Generally the relationship is more fulfilling because she was harder to get for a reason, meaning she gives her ALL to the guy who is willing to put in a little effort to win her over.
Your argument is invalid.
Nahh chicks playing hard to get are like most dead fishest of em all so lmao
Dead fishest eh there bruh?
Sounds lame. ;)
O it's u mommy! Stop calling me brah mom, srs wtf u discussing chicks with me for? O godd mom! U standing up for president too now? How hard u gonna make my skool? Jeez!
Sorry son, I can call you little chap, peanut, honey suckle - whatever you prefer.
#momforprez
Mom stop embarrassing me, jeez smh #teammommh
Sorry pumpkin. ;)
Why can't I just have the steak dinner now?
That's a very good question!
@JuicyBrain I'll make you a steak.
You are too kind dear ! I'm bringing the gravy ! lol
@JuicyBrain Psh bitch bring the beer. Lol.
Oh I'm bringing it ! First to black out cleans the dishes ! :-)
F**K that! not worthy of my time! I will leave via GIPHY
Okay sir! Run while you still can anon! QUICK!
Im definitely going to to read this 2 or 3 times
Awe thank you <3 <3 :)
lol no problem :)
I prefer girls who are blowing me within the first hour of meeting.
Everyone can use a good hooker.
Good hookers are way under-appreciated! But I also like getting quick sex without paying. Although, everything you wrote is true.
Hey who doesn't like an easy lay?
I mean, I can't say I have experience but I see the logic in it.
You like the ones that anyone can get.