Dating is hard, getting a date can be hard, try not to be hard on yourself

[Anonymous]

Some people get discouraged when they get rejected, or they feel like people just don't find them attractive, well, it's hard. You could know 10 people your age, and you could be attracted to 6 of them. They may all like you, just not in a romantic way, and that's ok. It doesn't mean that you are lacking in something, it's just a matter of luck. I'm 24, and have never been in a relationship, and I never would think to blame myself. I like being single, and it's just not my time to be in a relationship. I didn't go around telling anyone that, but if someone wants to judge me because of that, go ahead. I am respectful to people, don't cause any problems, very caring and considerate, among other things, that doesn't mean I'm owed a relationship. For anyone who may insecure about not dating, getting rejected, whatever it may be, you're a beautiful person, relationship or not, you have a ton going for you, look at how much you have accomplished, without a companion, you're good. I'm not saying that dating should not be important to you, I am just urging you to remember that you have so many admirable qualities, and are so attractive, that if other people don't see it, it's their loss.

[Inbox]

... Yeah, I can appreciate your "silver lining" on why you have not had too much success with the opposite sex, but this is how most guys who don't have much experience start. They start as idealists, then become jaded/cynical due to past breakups/experiences, then start to become wise and successful (assuming they have the grit and courage to keep moving forward).

I know because I started just like you. It wasn't until I learned how to approach, take rejection after rejection, develop my approaching skills to superhuman levels did I realize that the whole "waiting for the right time" is not a good idea because when Mrs. Right or Mr. Right comes along, if you don't know what you're doing, you could lose them in the courting phase.

Then, there's the relationship phase - it's one thing to get a high quality woman or man, it's another to keep them in the relationship and if you simply keep having the same mentality of "I'll wait the right one" if they leave or you leave, the odds are not in your favor. Falling in love or finding the right people are rare. It may be another 1 or even 10 years until you find someone like that again, BUT if you're not approaching, meeting new women, or just "wait," I think it's a disservice to you and everyone who reads this because you're time is limited.

Lastly, there is the break up phase. A significant part of the reason why I am able to recover quickly is because I know I can get another girl due to my experiences and approaching skills --- it also made me more masculine and not weak or insecure IN a relationship because of that "abundance mentality."

Point is, it's not a simple matter of "waiting for the right time." The situation is far more complex and my strong advice is to start getting out there and approaching the opposite sex because when you go through a break up (odds are high - that's for everyone, not you specifically), trust me, you'll be grateful to have those skills already learned.

[havingfun2023]

So true. Dating is a minefield. I'm glad I'm not a partaker in dating. I've certainly tried the dating apps ever since I was legally old enough (18 ) and over the years I've seen how much apps have improved and even new apps. So I guess maybe in almost 30, when I'm 30 next year, I'll happily settle for settling down as just me myself and I. Lol. I enjoy being single.
I can give more of my time to myself, to my close friends circle, and to my family. A woman would probably only cheat, divorce, or nagging me anyhow, so hooray I'm single right? 🙂🙂😬🙂

[Anonymous]

Thank you for saying that you aren't owed a relationship. I've read so many conversations in which men think, "I'm a nice guy," therefore I should have a girlfriend. Being nice isn't all that's required, and sometimes, you just aren't match for someone else in their minds, but that doesn't mean all girls like bad men and it doesn't mean you're a loser. Like thousands of other people, it just means, either chill or a while or keep looking, because contrary to some belief, not every single person beautiful or ugly is in a relationship aside from you who is not dating at the moment.

Dating is hard. It's not a straight line fairy tale for a lot of people, myself included, but I give myself grace, and I don't fall into that well of thinking my life is meaningless when I'm not in a relationship or dating. When you adopt that mindset, things are much easier on yourself mentally.

[Chthou95]

Dating is hard for men. Easy for women

[MJtheCoach]

@Chthou95 Because weak men have created hard times. from k1ssing girls a22.

[Chthou95]

@MJtheCoach The simps made it worse. But in general dating has always been harder for men.

[MJtheCoach]

@Chthou95 Most men are sexless and datingless.. for years after years. Is all because of SIMPS! everytime I traveled to places men didn't worship women like they do in U. S and Canada I was able to dating different weeks with a new 7's / 8's... then when I came to N. America my dating went on a complete halt.
THen I see how men are always k1ssing women's a22 so they think they deserve the best. which they won't find.

[Naruse]

My only experience of relationships is getting rejected and then responding terribly burning bridges and ending friendships. I'm 28 I've never been in a relationship I kinda gave up at a certain point, then I would fall for my director or someone I work with professionally and I'd try to fight it but then I'd just end up lashing out anyway. It's nice to see someone in the same situation not being a piece of shit about it like me and I'd like to believe everyone has worth and all that shit but it just comes off as complete and utter bullshit. My brain is ruined I think.

[IslaTheWitch]

Waiting for the best time won't work. What is important is your attitude.

All living creatures learn by experience. So make your own experiences, find what went wrong, fix it and try again.

Some people are born with this gift, and the rest of us must learn it in the hardest possible way.

[McKellar]

Yes, it's very hard and you're putting in a great deal amount of work just to try and impress your date. What gets really hard is you want to date a girl of your dreams, but they won't date you all because you're not their type.

If you're a ladies man or a man whore (yes that was blunt, but that was the best way I can try and describe that part )... then you have all of the selection of ladies all that you want.

If you're a gentleman, the way society is going these days,... might as well just forget it.

[Kaamraj]

Dating is only hard for the average man, women have it much easier as long as they are young and attractive as they are saturated with options. Yes men are not owed sex and women are not owed commitment either. And I hope average men remember that and instead of focusing on dating focus on themselves; finances and physique and exploit their new found value to the hilt.

[Adaeva]

It is easy to be successful if you are hot. However, average and below men are not hot and women don't want them and they never will.

[Sekenzi]

As an average bespectacled guy, that sounds so cruel and unfair. I'm 26 y. o. and I haven't had a girlfriend yet.

[Adaeva]

@Sekenzi That is just the way it is. Live is not meant to be fair. And fairness is not possible anyway. If you were one of the fortunate few, you would receive benefits that are not available to most people because the benefits are few and the people are many. As a pretty girl, I am treated better than most girls. I know that. I see it every day, even in class. If in class a teacher asks me a question and I don't get it, she gives me another chance. Most students don't get a second chance.

[Truthatanycost]

@Sekenzi Any average guy that understands how to build attraction can succeed with women. Most women will say that they have a type or even a height preference... but again. A man of average height and average looks that knows how to build attraction will do fine.

[FrankAu]

yep known as 80/20 90/10 rules

[inhua]

that sounds great on paper but society will see this as an "excuse"

that you should be hard on yourself because it's your fault for not dating or being in a relationship as if it's legally required for you to be in one

[pandamarda]

Came across your post and this is what I need. Dating can be hard especially online dating. I went on a few dates and still haven't found the person I'm looking for (and that's totally okay). I know I've been putting efforts but I also realized that you can't "fix" others. If they are not on the same page as you, just take it as what it is and move on.

[jshm2]

That's rather simple minded of you. It's like saying "Everyone needs a car, but not everyone has a Ferrari."

If you can't get a date, it's because your are not right for them.

[ulrika]

I understand your point, everyone has their own preferences and standards, so not everyone will be right for each other. Finding the right date does take some effort and time. For those who cannot find a suitable partner, perhaps they need to know themselves better, improve their charm and attractiveness, or try different social circles and activities, so as to increase the chance of meeting the right person. Yes, sometimes simple ideas may not be easy to implement, but we can increase the likelihood of success with hard work and appropriate adjustments.

[YesterdaysChild]

Maybe they get rejected because they want to show the girl what is "hard" in their pants?

[exitseven]

I was really afraid to ask girls to go out with me. Looking back I suppose that was a big problem. I never really had a girlfriend until I went away to college.

[Unit1]

No big deal. Online dating warps our perceptions of the real world outside anyway. Almost everyone wants someone perfect but they're faking themselves or their profiles are dead.

[milademjay]

Easy life creates weak men, weak men create hard times. HERE WE ARE!!

you dont think all those SIMPS k1ssing women's a22 is goanna make them unapprachable defensive and nasty?

www. milademjay. com

[aceleon]

when dating is hard i stop being hard on myself and be awesome instead.

[TenderFantasy]

Wow, I know I'm late to this but how'd you get so wise for your age lol. Great take.

[boobliker]

I talk to people even strangers you just have to say hi nice day and you got a chit-chat going it lovely to talk, I just wish more people on here would do the same!!!

[ulrika]

Totally agree with your idea! Saying hello and wishing people a good day is a simple and effective way to make conversation more relaxed and enjoyable. This positive attitude will also rub off on others, helping to build more friendly and supportive relationships. I hope more people can try this way of communication to make our social environment warmer and more harmonious

[m33ladmjmj]

Weak men create hard times. Dating and s3x is only hard for me with standards. If your'e a SIMP you dont mind lowering yourself and chasing a girl or any girl for ever! DUDE U. S & Canada is the worst place in the world for Alpha men to date.

[grega239]

Well i stopped trying to date because i was rejected every time.

No point in wasting my life on people who dont want me around

[Wwwyzzerdd]

Dating is lame, going to an arcade by myself instead

[LiamJHayden]

Dating is easy. Creating a relationship is hard.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Honestly yeah. I try really hard to stay focused and distract myself because in the end I know what I desire but I can’t yet obtain it.