A few months ago I had the unfortunate luck of getting involved with a girl who I'm fairly sure has BPD. To be clear I don't know for a fact if she did, but after spending countless hours reading up on people who've dated people with BPD and the disorder the similarities are uncanny. Either way, you should run if you encounter someone like this. I'm 27 and have had my fair share of romantic experiences and heartbreaks, but dating someone with BPD is like nothing else. It WILL break you down and WILL completely fuck you up mentally. Some poor bastards kill themselves over situations like this.
So what exactly is BPD? Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days. It is estimated that about 5% of the population suffers from BPD and about 70-80% are females. Now to be clear, people with BPD are not bad people, they are victims to the disease and are the ones that suffer the most. They don't do what they do out of hate or purpose, they don't even realise they're doing it most of the time.
Here are the red flags to look out for:
1. Very intense, very fast
You just started dating, but you two are already hitting it off amazingly well, better than anyone else you've dated or been involved with in your life. This girl is absolutely CRAZY about you. She will give you the most sincere compliments every chance she gets. She'll tell you how much she likes you or how fast she's falling for you or how amazing you are. It's not uncommon for them to drop the love bomb after only knowing you for 2-4 weeks. She'll tell you how incredibly happy she is that you're together. She'll make it sound as if you two are soulmates and are going to be together forever. For some weird reason, a lot of people mention the intense stare, it's going to feel like they can see right through you and will completely melt you. Basically, it's going to seem like something out of Hollywood. The worst part is that she believes everything she says because at that moment it's true, but ONLY in that moment. You will never experience a higher high than dating someone with BPD, no other girl will or has ever compared, that's what makes this experience so devastating because when they have you, they REALLY have you. That's their hook, they NEED you to be completely hooked on them. Once they have you hooked.....
She made you sound as if you're her soulmate and the very next day or whatever she will want nothing to do with you. Now to be clear this isn't your normal slowly being more and more distant when you're not interested in someone, it is VERY abrupt and VERY confusing and will leave you wondering "what the hell just happened? did I do something wrong?". It happens at a snap of a finger with absolutely no warning or reason what-so-ever. It's very interesting why they do this. It's human nature to want something that you enjoy after it's taken away from you. It's one way addiction is developed and that's their goal, you being addicted to them. Most people in this situation chase and do everything they can to get back that amazing person they were seeing.
3. Abandonment issues
The reason they want you to adore them is because of their abandonment issues. You see, people don't abandon someone they adore, it also makes them feel in control. She will most likely have issues with one or both of her parents being cold or abandoning her growing up. It's fairly common for her parents to be divorced and them to have remarried with others multiple times (may have a genetic factor). They could have also had a past partner abandon them. The girl I dated had divorced parents (REALLY took a toll on her), an inattentive father, and had a guy she was seeing/in love with knock up another girl while she was going through a medical emergency.
4. History of other mental issues and/or self-harm
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Cutting, thoughts of suicide, and suicide attempts are common. They also have a very low self-esteem.
5. Drug/Alcohol dependency
6. History of cheating/high number of sexual partners
Also, in their previous relationships there were multiple breakups and getting back together.
This is one of the reasons they hook you so well. They will tell you exactly what they know you want to hear in order to get you hooked. That's why the high is so high, they mold themselves into the perfect person based off what you want. This will leave you wondering and not knowing who she really is.
8. Mood swings
9. Sexually confident/kinky
She's probably going to be into some kinky shit
10. Piercings and tattoos
Some of the piercings will be in uncommon locations, think kinky
11. Thrill-seeking behavior
Well that's most of the signs to look out for. I'm sure there's more, but those are the major ones. Obviously, just because a person has a few of these it doesn't mean she/he has BPD, someone with BPD will have the majority of them (the first 3 are a must). Now I know you're probably reading this and thinking "WHY THE FUCK would you stick around with all those red flags?" The answer is simple, when they have you hooked you'll overlook most of these and think that you're different because of how much she's into you. You know what they say, the devil isn't going to appear like the devil. No the devil, will seem like a wonderful and amazing person at first and then screw you over when you least expect it. That's what makes this type of person so dangerous to be with, their unpredictable behaviour and ability to get so close to you. She or he will at first appear so perfect that you would never expect the shit-storm that she or he will bring later on.
If you ever run into someone like this, RUN. It will be EXTREMELY difficult to do because of the strong feelings/connection you feel, but this person WILL fuck up your life and doesn't truly care about you, you're just someone to fill in their empty void. I was lucky enough to only have a short fling, but many poor bastards end up with a person like this for years and it brings nothing but misery. Even though they only make up about 5% of the population, these girls are fairly promiscuous so chances are you'll probably run into one if you haven't already.
Later and be careful out there.