How to Know You're Dating Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder and Why You Should RUN if You Are

[guy532]

A few months ago I had the unfortunate luck of getting involved with a girl who I'm fairly sure has BPD. To be clear I don't know for a fact if she did, but after spending countless hours reading up on people who've dated people with BPD and the disorder the similarities are uncanny. Either way, you should run if you encounter someone like this. I'm 27 and have had my fair share of romantic experiences and heartbreaks, but dating someone with BPD is like nothing else. It WILL break you down and WILL completely fuck you up mentally. Some poor bastards kill themselves over situations like this.

So what exactly is BPD? Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental disorder marked by a pattern of ongoing instability in moods, behavior, self-image, and functioning. These experiences often result in impulsive actions and unstable relationships. A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days. It is estimated that about 5% of the population suffers from BPD and about 70-80% are females. Now to be clear, people with BPD are not bad people, they are victims to the disease and are the ones that suffer the most. They don't do what they do out of hate or purpose, they don't even realise they're doing it most of the time.

Here are the red flags to look out for:

1. Very intense, very fast

You just started dating, but you two are already hitting it off amazingly well, better than anyone else you've dated or been involved with in your life. This girl is absolutely CRAZY about you. She will give you the most sincere compliments every chance she gets. She'll tell you how much she likes you or how fast she's falling for you or how amazing you are. It's not uncommon for them to drop the love bomb after only knowing you for 2-4 weeks. She'll tell you how incredibly happy she is that you're together. She'll make it sound as if you two are soulmates and are going to be together forever. For some weird reason, a lot of people mention the intense stare, it's going to feel like they can see right through you and will completely melt you. Basically, it's going to seem like something out of Hollywood. The worst part is that she believes everything she says because at that moment it's true, but ONLY in that moment. You will never experience a higher high than dating someone with BPD, no other girl will or has ever compared, that's what makes this experience so devastating because when they have you, they REALLY have you. That's their hook, they NEED you to be completely hooked on them. Once they have you hooked.....

2. Hot/Cold

She made you sound as if you're her soulmate and the very next day or whatever she will want nothing to do with you. Now to be clear this isn't your normal slowly being more and more distant when you're not interested in someone, it is VERY abrupt and VERY confusing and will leave you wondering "what the hell just happened? did I do something wrong?". It happens at a snap of a finger with absolutely no warning or reason what-so-ever. It's very interesting why they do this. It's human nature to want something that you enjoy after it's taken away from you. It's one way addiction is developed and that's their goal, you being addicted to them. Most people in this situation chase and do everything they can to get back that amazing person they were seeing.

3. Abandonment issues

The reason they want you to adore them is because of their abandonment issues. You see, people don't abandon someone they adore, it also makes them feel in control. She will most likely have issues with one or both of her parents being cold or abandoning her growing up. It's fairly common for her parents to be divorced and them to have remarried with others multiple times (may have a genetic factor). They could have also had a past partner abandon them. The girl I dated had divorced parents (REALLY took a toll on her), an inattentive father, and had a guy she was seeing/in love with knock up another girl while she was going through a medical emergency.

4. History of other mental issues and/or self-harm

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Cutting, thoughts of suicide, and suicide attempts are common. They also have a very low self-esteem.

5. Drug/Alcohol dependency

6. History of cheating/high number of sexual partners

Also, in their previous relationships there were multiple breakups and getting back together.

7. Lying

This is one of the reasons they hook you so well. They will tell you exactly what they know you want to hear in order to get you hooked. That's why the high is so high, they mold themselves into the perfect person based off what you want. This will leave you wondering and not knowing who she really is.

8. Mood swings

9. Sexually confident/kinky

She's probably going to be into some kinky shit

10. Piercings and tattoos

Some of the piercings will be in uncommon locations, think kinky

11. Thrill-seeking behavior

Well that's most of the signs to look out for. I'm sure there's more, but those are the major ones. Obviously, just because a person has a few of these it doesn't mean she/he has BPD, someone with BPD will have the majority of them (the first 3 are a must). Now I know you're probably reading this and thinking "WHY THE FUCK would you stick around with all those red flags?" The answer is simple, when they have you hooked you'll overlook most of these and think that you're different because of how much she's into you. You know what they say, the devil isn't going to appear like the devil. No the devil, will seem like a wonderful and amazing person at first and then screw you over when you least expect it. That's what makes this type of person so dangerous to be with, their unpredictable behaviour and ability to get so close to you. She or he will at first appear so perfect that you would never expect the shit-storm that she or he will bring later on.

If you ever run into someone like this, RUN. It will be EXTREMELY difficult to do because of the strong feelings/connection you feel, but this person WILL fuck up your life and doesn't truly care about you, you're just someone to fill in their empty void. I was lucky enough to only have a short fling, but many poor bastards end up with a person like this for years and it brings nothing but misery. Even though they only make up about 5% of the population, these girls are fairly promiscuous so chances are you'll probably run into one if you haven't already.

Later and be careful out there.

[Elarra]

I know people who have BPD and quite literally the majority of this list could be applicable to people with no mental illness. 2,3,5,67,9, 10, and 11 are things that people who don't suffer from mental illness do and you don't even bother to explain 5, 8, or 11 and how they're related to BPD. This sounds like you just had a bad run in with one girl and you dismiss it as 'oh, well, she's just acting like this because of her mental disorder'.

You sound like a closed minded person and you are generalizing. Your the type of person that makes people with mental illnesses like myself reluctant in trusting someone with our health issues because you use it against us and like a weapon instead of maybe admitting that you may be doing something wrong OR that your personalities simply don't mesh regardless of the disorder.

I pity whoever dates you next. You don't sound very helpful. It's obvious this Take was written by someone who has no experience or credit behind their names. People like you, male or female, are the reason mental illness has such a stigma behind it and I mean ANY illness, not just BPD. You should probably do some actual research before you spout out information about a topic you're ignorant on.

Horrible Take and poorly written with no support to back up claims.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

... so how was your afternoon?

I don't see this as using anything against anyone, nor containing anything that should make people feel bad. He was just stating facts.

[Elarra]

@FýrdracaDócincel He literally wasn't.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

He definitely covered the major points of BPD.

[Elarra]

@FýrdracaDócincel He literally didn't. Now please stop talking to me.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

What is your reasoning for how he didn't?

[guy532]

Sorry if I offended you, that's not the point of this mytake at all. I don't wish to paint anyone with a mental disorder as a bad person because quite simply they're not and are actually the biggest victims in this unfortunate situation. The entire purpose of this mytake is to educate people on this disorder and why it's unhealthy to date someone like this until she/he gets the help they need to get their life in order. Just like it would be unwise to date an addict, it would be unwise to date someone with an uncontrolled mental illness. It's all about causing as little harm to everyone involved. I think I covered this topic fairly well for a brief mytake that gets to the point. The aim of this mytake wasn't to go in depth of this disorder, it was just about giving enough information so people can spot someone who may be suffering from this disorder, that's all. Also, I think I more than qualify to upload this considering my background. You're right, I will never know for a fact if the

[guy532]

girl I dated had bpd for sure, but from everything that I know about her and all she's told me she fits the description very well and under DSM she would be classified as having BPD. Thanks for your input.

[Browneye57]

YUP! But they will go on here and explain why and how they can date when they have a mental illness. When you call them on it they go fukkin ballistic. LOL

No well adjusted adult wants to babysit another adult. Just move on.

And yes, these BPD crazy bitches will stalk you, fake pregnancy, play games, inflict revenge, they'll show up at your work, embarrass you, accuse you of rape, the list goes on and on and on. NUTS!

[bloodmountain1990]

Dating them can make you go nuts too

[Iraqveteran666]

Solid take. My older brother spent 10 years with a bi-polar girl and everything you say lines up with her on every level. She basically made his life he'll, he'd be thinking that things were going well then out of nowhere she'd throw a spanner in the works. He'd nurse her through her lows and reign her in on her highs.
Everywhere she went she attracted trouble or something happened to her. I remember during the last 2 years they were together she was the "victim" of a series of unfortunate events in which she accidentally electrocuted herself, received death threats from her landlord, had some random chick break her nose, burnt her arm acid, got hit by a cop car, arrested for jay walking, held in contempt of court, had the repo men seize all her and my brother's processions, spend all their joint savings and put my brother into debt, got fired for being drink at work, died on the operating table, drunk drive through a shop window, got caught shoplifting, provoked my brother into punching her by beating him to get him arrested which she had already called the cops before she starred. In the end he found out she had been cheating on him with a waiter and that their had been other guys and dumped her, i was glad because id been telling him to dump her for years and when they broke up for a bit a few years before that and was dating a lovely girl i told him not to get back with her as shed only make your life miserable. In the end he hung himself on the back of a door, we found him to late after hearing a few hours later he'd dumped her. We only started to piece the details together bit by bit months after by which stage she had moved another guy into their home, she had tried to empty his personal savings account and had an argument with the bank manager and later had been to were he worked to try and cash in a hefty bonus he had earned, she also tried to sell his car and his house. Truth is bi polar women are definitely a red flag in my opinion anyway there may be some guys who disagree and I say they are free to date them.

[bloodmountain1990]

Jesus fucking Christ and I thought the girl I dated was bad. Well she is, but still.

[dwiller943]

We need some love too, and those traits that you listed don't even describe someone with BPD. Some do, but some don't. And the only reason why we are the way we are, is because no one is there for us. If someone would just simply be there for us, we wouldn't be the way we are. But the less people wanna help us do whatever we can to help ourselves, the worse we get. We need someone for once. We don't need the person to be in a relationship with us to be there for us. Just being a close friend is good enough. But being there as a partner is no different than being there as a friend. The only difference is the title, and how close 'n' intimate you 2 are. So if them having BPD keeps you from dating them; due to how much it causes a negative drain on you, then being there as even just a friend is still gonna drain you either way.

Plus most people worthy of love are usually the most damaged ones, because they are the most loving 'n' caring people that go through hell just to get the love the give out that they never once gotten from others. But yet they never get it. And each time, people wanna make it worse by making them feel unloved more 'n' more each day.

It's not their fault, and I have noticed the part where you stated they someone with BPD is a victim, and I will agree that it's best to not date them until they heal. But I wouldn't suggest that someone tries helping them but then only wants to date them after they healed, but to have wanted to date them for quite some time, but then waited until they helped them to finally take things much futher.

Baby steps are needed. No need to rush, we want someone there for us, but not too quickly nor too slowly.

[RedThread]

The stigma against people with mental illness is bad enough without things like this. Some of these illnesses run in families so it isn't even their fault their brain chemistry is different or whatever. I'm sorry about what you went through but when people have the courage to seek help and get medicated they can regulate their behavior. Bipolar disorder runs in my family and my uncle is the only one who didn't get help for it. He can't function and he tried to steal another family member's identity. Everyone else with the disease are pretty high functioning.

Most importantly, people struggling with mental illness need to believe they can be successful and function within society with the right kind of help and support structure. Hell it can be the only thing that keeps them going. They need to believe that they can live a normal life or at least as normal as possible. They have dreams and aspirations that are even more admirable to achieve with the struggles of mental illness.

You're usually your own worst enemy when dealing with mental illness. Living with it can be a real kick in the ass. You just gotta keep getting back up again. Can't let the stigma surrounding it to get in your way either.

[xxmamichulaxx]

This was spot on. I have been acquantinces and friends with women in the past who have let me know they've been diagnosed with BPD, and none of the friendships worked out , or I noticed some pretty big red flags in their behavior and swperated myself from them. All were compulsive liars , but told insane lies that made it clear they just wanted to lie for the fun of it , one cheated on her boyfriend but made it a deal to slut shame someone who had multiple sex partners , all had serious mental health issues to where I wouldn't know if they'd just snap and hurt someone or themselves , and they all had serious attention issues and craved male attention to the point where it got ridiculous. I try to understand and have sympathy for all mental health issues , but I've had a hard time trusting and befriending people with BPD.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Sounds more like Psychopathy than Borderline. People with Borderline can still have a pretty decent moral compass and sense of remorse.

[xxmamichulaxx]

@FýrdracaDócincel no , I'm sure they had remorse for half the shitty things they did. I dont think all of these women were sociopaths, they were all diagnosed with BPD. Lies , Cheating , mood swings, and self harm is common with those with BPD.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

If I only felt guilt for half the LEGITIMATELY shitty things I did, I'd be a pretty damn shitty person. But I'm not.

[xxmamichulaxx]

Mhm.

[Leandri]

@FýrdracaDócincel Yeah it does sound more like psychopathy

[John_Doesnt]

Dating someone with BPD is hard? Try having it and being discriminated against for having an illness. It's no different than if you said dating someone with brain cancer or Parkinson's is "hard".
And it's clear from everything you wrote that you didn't do any actual scientific reading on what borderline personality disorder is. The term "BPD" isn't a diagnoses, but a category for a whole plethora of mental disorders: antisocial, asocial, bipolar, Avoidant Personality disorder, disassociative identity disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Everybody thinks they're a psychologist, but it takes several months and sometimes years to properly diagnose if a person has a personality disorder at all.

[bloodmountain1990]

Dude you are 100% spot on. This sounds like that girl I dated who was on the rebound and ended up being a sociopath. I've told you about this girl before and it fucked me up severely. It fucked me up to the point where I got so detached and way less trusting that I've been dating the girl steadily for the last 2 months and still have a hard time opening up emotionally. She's cool and I have no issues with her otherwise.

But this girl I'm talking about is the one I had a lot in common with but then invited me to her place and asked me to go into her bedroom with a condom wrapper from another dude. The worst part about it is afer she did that and ditched me to make out with another guy after running into her 4 months later is that she acts like it's somehow my fault for her behavior.

What also pisses me off is that when it fucks you up, people act like you're a psycho for being so hurt from dating a person like this.

[bloodmountain1990]

And by the way you are absolutely right. The devil doesn't appear as the devil, it appears as someone sweet and everything you wanted. Not that I'm putting this girl on a pedestal but it was awesome to find a girl that shared the same interests as me so I could share them with. Most of the girls I'd date were bad conversationalists and had nothing in common with me. Sure they were cute but we didn't click.

[guy532]

Hey! Yea I remember your story, yea she sounds about the same now that I think back. She might have had BPD if she checks off most of these. I get you on the whole feeling psycho thing hahaha. I've had to force myself to stop talking about this because I know I'm annoying my friends with it which is fair. It's one of the reasons I started digging so much because of how much it had affected me. I knew it wasn't normal to be that effected from a short fling so something had to be up and sure enough the more I dug the more it made sense. It feels nice having a plausible answer because when you're going through it you have no idea what's going on, it's like all of a sudden being in the middle of a hurricane wonder wtf just happened. If it's any consolation I read soooo many different experiences of men and women going through the same thing and man some of the got completely mentally fucked over. I lot needed therapy and there were a few cases of suicide from it. So if you're out of it

[guy532]

with just some wounds consider yourself lucky. The worst part is knowing that you'll never find anyone else that will give you that much of a high during the honeymoon phase and if you do it means you should fucking run because it's all fake. That's what bothers me the most, it's hard to go back to $30$ steaks when you've had a $200 steak, it's just not the same you know?

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah you're definitely right. When we had our first date, it was that cliche "felt like we've known each other for years" scenario. She was a great conversationalist and knew what I was talking about. Not only were we both into metal and horror, but we had a lot of similar political views and outlooks on life. I mean I wasn't making her into something she wasn't. We really did have that much in common. We did have our differences though but we were both interested in exploring each other's interests. Like she'd send me screenshots of spotify stations of bands I liked that I'd mention to her so it gave me a rush for a girl I liked to actually be interested in discovering stuff I was into.

And up until the condom wrapper situation, we got along great. No awkward silences, we would just talk like I was hanging out with a friend and it felt natural. When I told other people about my experiences, they'd say tell me she's my dream girl or jokingly say you gonna marry her.

[bloodmountain1990]

I tried shaking that off, because even though I was blown away by her, I didn't wanna get super attached, especially since she mentioned she just got out of a 5 year relationship and I proceeded with caution. The problem was I was totally into her, I just didn't act on it. I didn't tell her how I felt and gave her space because I didn't wanna scare her off. It's not like every time I have a date, I get blown away like that.

[guy532]

I completely get you! It seems to be the common theme when dating someone with bpd. Our first date was supposed to be a quick 1 hour lunch date at like 2 or 3 in the afternoon since I had finals in 2 days and was super busy. We ended up getting along so amazingly well and we both felt like we've known each other for years as well. What was supposed to be a one hour date didn't end until like 3-4 am because we stayed up having super deep conversations, the types you only have with your best friends that you've known for years. We were that compatible and the connection was that strong. In the morning when I was heading home I remember thinking "fuck, I think I just met the girls I'm going to spend the rest of my life with". It was that amazing. I've never felt that before too. So don't feel too bad about, forgive yourself and try to move on since it's seriously not your fault at all. Anyone in that situation will feel that strong of a connection because frankly why wouldn't you?

[guy532]

It's easy to get carried away with your feelings like that when the other person is just feeding you everything you want to hear to make you feel secure and safe with them and that they have crazy strong feelings for you as well. Like why wouldn't you think this sweet innocent gorgeous girl that you get along with so well and have so much in common and can talk about anything together is super into you when they tell you how happy she is to have met you or how much she likes you or gives you a sincere compliment every chance she gets and is always super affectionate and lovey dovey with you and gives you that stare that feels like she's looking right into your soul. It would take a sociopath not to catch strong feelings in a situation like that. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and to never get involved with someone like that.

[bloodmountain1990]

And that's exactly what she is, a sociopath. The thing is after the condom situation happened, I felt so disgusted. I had a knot in my stomach and then she ignored me but still kept me on snapchat and instagram. And it put me in a weird situation. I thought she might have been embarrassed that she was worried what I'd think of her since she told me to go in her room and I found a condom wrapper, but 3 days after that and not hearing from her, i text her saying hey what's up. Get no response and I was like wtf, why is she ignoring me? Am I the one who fucked up now. Then I call her 3 later as we were supposed to go to riot fest in Chicago together the next day. She asked me what day the misfits were playing and if tix were still available a few days before that condom wrapper situation happened. She even sent me a snap the day after saying how excited she was to see the misfits. I mean really, she didn't need to ask me if tix were available. She could have looked it up herself.

[bloodmountain1990]

And then i try calling her because I thought the convo about the condom wrapper thing was better on the phone as opposed to text. I tried calling her, she ignored me. Then as soon as I leave the fest, i turn my phone on and get a text from her saying sorry to be blunt but im not interested in pursuing this. Which is a bullshit pseudo closure then deleted me from snapchat. Then a few weeks later, she blocked me from both snapchat and instagram which was fucking bullshit because if the roles were reversed and I invited her or any other girl to my place and bed with a condom wrapper, they'd fucking flip. So it made me over analyze and second guess myself as to what I might have done wrong and it ate me up because I really wondered what I did.

But what's also bullshit is 2 months ago, I went to another concert with the current girl I'm seeing and we went out for a smoke and holding hands then that condom wrapper girl is out there and soon as she sees me she's telling her friends omg omg

[bloodmountain1990]

omg this guy is fucking stalking me, as i was holding hands with this girl wtf, and then after the show me and the girl im seeing are talking to my friend and that girl is standing across the room with her friends and pointing me out acting like Im following her. It's like how much of a narcissistic cunt could you be. It's like 1. I go to a lot of shows. 2. We have similar tastes and 3. I'm with another girl with my arms around her right fucking in front of you. It wasn't like I was trying to make her jealous but I'm not gonna stop doing the things I enjoy that we share mutually just so I don't see you, especially when I'm not the one who fucked up. But she's a delusional sociopathic cunt who takes no responsibility for her actions.

Does she not realize that I have shit on her that could damage her reputation for good? It's tempting to get back at her but Im not gonna do that because I don't wanna ruin what I have going with the current girl.

[guy532]

Fuck her dude, she doesn't know what she wants. It's as simple as that. She has the attachment style of a 3 year old, that's literally the main issue. They can absolutely LOVE something one minute and want nothing to do with it the next, then they realise that they fucked up and hurt the other person and feel guilty about it, bringing on more self hate and causing them to fall into an even deeper spiral. Not gonna lie, about 2 weeks ago I messaged said girl after giving her about 2 months of space and she just flat out ignored me lol. Like really? The last time we spoke you told me that you have crazy strong feelings for me and just feel overwhelmed because you just got out of breakup last month and that you really want to try again in the future. Even after our breakup on that last date she literally wouldn't let me leave and was crying and hugging me telling me how much she cares and likes me. We continued the date because she didn't want to let me go. Then she went overboard and

[guy532]

was saying that she has all her shit together she'll come back for me and even visit me when I move because I'm the type of guy she'll instantly fall for and that I'm literally the perfect guy for her and exactly who she's been looking for. Fuck man we continued that date for like 6 hours and at the end we went back to her place so she could take 2 polaroid pics of us together (one for me and one for her) as a momento of our time together and to not forget each other. Then she just fucking ignores me... makes total and complete sense right hahaha? Seriously, ignore everything she's told you it was all 100% bs that she said to get you so she could fill that empty void in her life and to not feel guilty about it because she does have feelings she projects all her self hatred and guilt on to you, that's why she wants nothing to do with you. It's one of the few instances that it literally has absolutely nothing to do with you and is completely not your fault.

[bloodmountain1990]

She's got a boyfriend now which sickens me. But the thing is when I see her, she plays victim and points me out like I'm sorta stalker and go to concerts just for her. If she didn't act like that, I wouldn't care, but she's turned people against me because of her own bullshit.

It'd be a whole different story if it was just like hey it was nice seeing you but Im just looking for a fling or I found someone else, but no she has to be fucking dramatic and egotistical and make it seem like I'm the guilty one.

[bloodmountain1990]

Regarding your girl, sounds like she was playing games and didn't know what she wants.

[guy532]

That's actually another sign of BPD, hating and bad mouthing the victim that they previously praised and "loved" for absolutely no reason other than to tarnish the victim's identity. It makes them feel in control and removes some of their guilt by making you seem like the one at fault and that they're the victim, it's nothing more than a coping mechanism for their self-hatred. Believe me, they do feel guilty and shitty about it. The girl I dated had a breakdown when she was breaking up with me telling me how much she hates herself for being such a shitty person (I actually think she's going to make progress in her life because she's ridiculously smart and knows that she has a serious problem... but who knows). It's just part of the disease and it sucks and unfortunately it's something that you're going to have to put up with. Just remember, what your feeling is nothing compared to what she is. They have such a low self-esteem and so much self-hate that they need to put blame where

[guy532]

there isn't just so they can live with themselves. Remember almost all of them have a history of depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts and tendencies for this exact reason. It's actually a fascinating disease.

[bloodmountain1990]

Well i also ran into her again as she passed by me and my coworkers as we were walking out of subway and gave me dirty looks. Seems like she feels no guilt for her actions and wants me to think I'm really guilty for whatever fucking reason. Not all people with this disorder are bad people, but she is.

Even that night when I ran into her at a concert after 4 months of not seeing her then making her out, when she ditched me and I went by her when she was the other side, she said in a bitchy tone it was nice seeing you, im staying here and then made out with that guy she just met. So she is a total cunt. I hope she gets hit by a bus. And by the way i use that word towards men too. Not just women.

[bloodmountain1990]

Even when she asked to get drinks with me that night and she got in my car, she's like I didn't expect to see you here. Did you just come to the concert just to see me?

[bloodmountain1990]

I don't know if that girl has a history of depression, self-harm, etc. I don't even know if i got to know the real her.

[IEat70sBush]

Why I'd rather just stay single and jack off (done so past 12 years) than settle for some crazy girl with more issues than Rolling Stone that I'm better off without. Been there, done that enough times I've had my fill of those for the next 200 years even if I lived that long.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah and it's not just even just what happens during the duration you date them, but the mental damage it can leave after it ends. Mental scars last longer than physical ones.

[Anonymous]

I agree that BPD is a tough one - a relative of mine was diagnosed with it. I even agree that people with this diagnosis shouldn’t date until they get a handle on their life.

But your take is really irresponsible. You can’t use google and then paint yourself as an expert.

Sexually confident = mentally ill?
Tattoos = mentally ill?

Come on man.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I haven't been diagnosed but I do think I might have Borderline. This Take is pretty accurate.

[guy532]

You should look into Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) if you haven't already, I've heard it's very helpful if you stick to it for years. Sucks man, I hope you manage to get over your demons. I really do, it's sad meeting someone who you know is a wonderful person, but just a victim to a disease that ends up ruining their life. Best of luck man!

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Thanks it means a lot.

[Anonymous]

Run like hell man. I dated one girl like this at the beginning of the year she made my life stressing. I'm glad that you done with her. They jump from one romantic relationship to another like Mario.
They use self harming or risky sex to cool up their moods.
I found out later that she slept with over 60 guy and she is only 19 like wtf.. she never told me she was mentally sick until we had sex and saw the scars on her body..

[bloodmountain1990]

Jesus. Did she reveal that to you or you ask her? regarding the 60+ sex partners.

[bloodmountain1990]

But yeah people with BPD, sociopaths, narcissistic people should be avoided like the plague. It's not just what happens during the the time you date them but the lasting impact it leaves on you and it's not good.

[guy532]

It's alright man, I found out about her scars, history of depression, numerous cheating, multiple partners (don't know how many, but from what she said it's obvious it was a lot since she felt very guilty about it when she told me and regretted that time period in her life) and I still fell for this girl like an idiot because well, you know how it is. They bring you up and make you feel like you're on cloud 9 when you're with them and will say and do anything to do so. On our last date she was telling me about how she wants me to stay with her for ever and that she's falling for me and that I check off everything she's been looking for and that I'm amazing and that she respects the shit out of me and then she had serious conversation with me about our future kids and how many we should have, their names, what they would look at then bam ice cold, don't want anything to do with you. Obviously, this all sounds crazy now considering we only knew each other for a few weeks,

[guy532]

but the point is that there's no limit to how far they'll take it to get you hooked.

[Opinion Owner]

@bloodmountain1990 No.. I knew it by myself she had tumblr where she rants about her story... how many guy she slept with and whatsoever I was completely shocked.. I didn't believe that at the beginning.. Until one day she forgot her FB opened from my laptop.. then when she left.. guys were messaging her.. At that moment I knew it.. that she love dick more than anything else.

[Opinion Owner]

They will treat you like you're their idol god at the beginning.. unlimited sex.. unlimited love.. unlimited gifts..

[guy532]

That last statement is so spot on. I've never ever had a girl be that into me before, it's just on a completely different level.

[Opinion Owner]

Yup it's insane.. funny that another BPD approached me last week.. but I immediately knew lol.. coz now i know their characteristics.

[guy532]

phew dodged a bullet there. At least you got a lesson out of it so you can avoid people like that in the future. What did she do that set your alarm bells off?

[Opinion Owner]

She approached me.. asked my number.. got sexual with me on text messages ( same like the previous one) even sent me semi-nudes.. also her enthusiasm.. these type of girls tend to show you energy and that they're positive.. where in reality they are nohere like that.
They do that because they like attention.. coz their self-identity is unknown for them..
I did a full research when I was dating that girl.. I've enough information about their personality traits.. to me I think they have the same traits most of them..

[bloodmountain1990]

@Opinion owner that's fucked up that she puts out her sexual past out like that on tumblr. I mean I'm not one to slut shame. But you never publicly post or volunteer your sex life or lack of for that matter. I once had a date with a girl who basically went through her whole sexual resume on the first date. Like she mentioned how she slept with a lot of guys, how she slept with her ex 2 days before our date, how good he is in bed, how they're both sex addicts, if i thought her friend was cute and if id fuck her, showing me nudes/half nudes from her phone, how she fucked 2 guys with the same name as the busboy who walked by, how she wanted me to eat her out while fingering her while others were around. None of this I asked to hear about and this was all on the first date. Never met a bigger trainwreck in my goddamn life.

Ironically, she was showing me her other tinder convos with other dudes complaining about how theyre rude and treat her like a sex object.

[bloodmountain1990]

It's like um, do you not know what kinda vibes you're giving off right now?

I've also had other girls talk about past sexual encounters, abortions, and other super personal topics on the first date. I mean I'm 100% pro choice and am not one to slut shame, but I still don't wanna hear the details of a girl's sexual past. All I care is that she's clean, doesn't have kids, and doesn't cheat.

That'd be like me telling a girl about a time I hooked up with 2 girls in one night. It was a rare occurrence in college, but I couldn't imagine anything positive coming out of me telling a girl I like that sort of info.

[Opinion Owner]

@bloodmountain1990 What do you mean by the vibe thing?
That girl also showed me on the date that she has a lot of matches on Tinder.. it's crazy how they think.. but she never spoke about her sexual partners with me.

[bloodmountain1990]

Vibes as in she comes off as slutty/overly sexual as she was going through nearly her whole sexual history with me on the date.

Yeah I've had girls I met off tinder, okc, pof, etc ask if I've met other women on the sites/apps but never the number of matches or anything like that.

Regarding number of sexual partners, I just don't care to hear about it. It's not out of jealousy or possessiveness. It's just whether a girl has slept with 1 or 20 dudes, it's not like I wanna think about the times they had sex with other people. How do you exactly benefit from that? It just makes me think of the movie Clerks where they ask each other about numbers of partners, both oral and intercourse, and freak out about each other's numbers like how Dante's girlfriend said she sucked 37 dicks.

[Opinion Owner]

@bloodmountain1990 No.. that's the thing they see how is your personality like and according to that they will change their colors..
For me it matters because I want to stay healthy I don't want any STD's.

[bloodmountain1990]

They're like a chameleon and in a very bad way

[Dale1982]

I thought it was non-pc to reject a freak for being a freak these days? Yes I made an argument for pc in a non-pc way coz I like being the oil patch on the stairs that nobody notices until they break something. I guess it only applies as long as it doesn't affect the supporter of it personally. If it does it's okay to be a bastard again eh?

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Pretty much all women are BPD. Those that aren't, are something even more worthy of running from, like bipolar, depressive, psychotic, whatever.

The only difference is in degree.

[Unit1]

Some of these "red flags" as you call it are normal human behavior actually.

Also if you'd take these red flags so serious, you will end up with no woman matching your filter.

[guy532]

Yes, a lot of them are normal, but having most of these, especially the first 5 or 6 isn't. It's pretty obvious you've never dated a woman like this (be glad), otherwise you would know this isn't your normal person. A normal person does not treat you like the best thing since sliced bread one minute then want absolutely nothing to do with you at a snap of a finger for no reason. It's the abruptness and irrational reason (there is no reason hence why it's so irrational) that makes them stand out. Also, most people don't self harm or have suicidal thoughts/attempts, something that is extremely common with this disorder. You need to look at the big picture and not each individual flag. This isn't something to brush off, these people are out there and they WILL do some real damage if they manage to hook you. I'm legit terrified of ever dating someone like this again just as every other person that has dated someone like this is. I highly suggest you take this mytake seriously.

[guy532]

read the comments bellow bloodmountain1990 to get a better idea of what it's like to date someone like this.

[Unit1]

Don't worry. I will never date crazy ass vacuumheads.
I was more concerned about your individual flags rather than the big picture itself.

Because i fkn LOVE sexually confident women!!!

[bloodmountain1990]

@Unit1 there's plenty of sexually confident women who aren't like this though

[Unit1]

@bloodmountain1990 I know, that not all women are the same, sexually confident or not.

[COCOCHANEL]

these traits kinda only pertain to western women in western society.

in Asian society women are a lot more cunning and careful about their image especially in front of guys.

[Analinda1999]

this describes most American males trying to get sex.

[Anonymous]

I would like to help that person instead of leaving.

[guy532]

You can't help them when they want nothing to do with you after they're done idolizing you.

[JohnDoe3000]

You can't help them: there's no cure for BPD, plus they tend to bite the hand that feeds them.

[guy532]

@JohnDoe3000 this is also true, they are notorious cheaters.

[Opinion Owner]

But they say God didn't leave any illness without its cure

[JohnDoe3000]

"They" say a lot of things, doesn't mean they're true...

[Opinion Owner]

@JohnDoe3000 yeah but having hope is a good thing

[marijajr]

You're good person. Thank you for your comments

[Whatthefluff]

Interesting. According to this, I may have BPD

[Anonymous]

Mental health issues are a myth

[Anonymous]

Most women are developing these traits nowadays.